How do you look when you play? Is it important?

I think in terms of posture...... yeah it's important.

I always feel a bit uncomfortable watching guys that lean in towards the hats when they play.

As players that slouch forward and have a real curve in their back.

Look, it probably works for them, all good, steam ahead......but I kinda want to preserve my joints etc for when I bounce me grand kiddies on my knee.

I do pay attention to my posture.

I like to sit straight with everything close at hand.

Sonny Emory has absolutely beautiful posture in his recent years.......I take note of that.

In terms of other looks, well I'm very handsome and beautiful at the same time.

But my tongue develops a mind of its own and it sticks out, curls and twists with an open mouth when I play.

The manager of an old band I was in was watching us one night and told me to stop it.
 
I like a drummer who looks like they’re working but having fun doing it. Chad Wackerman is great, but he makes it look effortless and completely smooth, and it’s a little disconcerting to me. I’m all about being true to yourself, but it’s called “show business” for a reason.
 
I think as long as you look like you're engaged and having fun you're fine. It needs to be sincere.
 
My suggestions are:

1. Continue playing "for the music" as well as you can.
2. Stay near the other musicians when you are not playing so you can socialize and proactively talk generally about your interest in joining a band.
3. Look like you care about your appearance. I have seen guys show up in a t-shirt, cargo shorts, and crocs and that looks careless. Just wearing some decent pants and shoes and shirt that look like a "fit" (short for "outfit" as my teenage son tells me while his eyes roll loudly) will help a lot.
 
Thanks. I've
I like a drummer who looks like they’re working but having fun doing it. Chad Wackerman is great, but he makes it look effortless and completely smooth, and it’s a little disconcerting to me. I’m all about being true to yourself, but it’s called “show business” for a reason.
thanks. I've been told that I make it look easy. Don't know how to change that. I do get somewhat intense...
 
Drummers are easy to read IMO.

I think drummers are already cool, just like the others. But when drummers try to be extra cool on purpose, I see right through it.
This is neat. I think I get it, your message to drummers is "You are already cool, do your job and don't try to be "extra cool" and you might actually be cool, lol.

I always feel a bit uncomfortable watching guys that lean in towards the hats when they play.
As players that slouch forward and have a real curve in their back.
Look, it probably works for them, all good, steam ahead...

....I do pay attention to my posture.
This is something I've noticed as well. Posture, especially while doing something rigorous like drumming, is one of those things that a person might not notice until it's too late. When I began my shedding phase, I didn't give a single thought to my posture because I was only concerned with "getting better" at drumming. You can get pretty darn good at drums with hideous posture. A couple years ago I started video recording myself playing and I could see for myself that I was kind of bent over, like my center of gravity was sitting on my stomach. Not a great look if you are trying to play powerful music. Not to mention that most of my favorite drummers do sit with their shoulders back, in a natural, erect posture that doesn't appear to be hindering their reaches or their flow.
To be fair, I had a slouchy posture since I was a kid, slouching in front of the TV and slouching at school, eventually slouching at the drumkit, lol.
Nowadays when I sit down at the kit, I try to set my posture first. Imagining a rope attached to the top of my head, pulling my frame straight up until everything is arranged around my shoulders, instead of my guts.

if you are doing light jazz, stick tricks are not needed, but if you are playing some rock or metal, a stick trick is a great thing to throw in.
I think number one is project energy. You can also check how you're dressing on stage and at the jams, it has a bigger impact than you might think.
Older players trying to break into gigging will suffer discrimination from people looking for a player. It helps if you're not fat, honestly.
Good stuff. Granted I don't know more than one or two particulars of the OP's situation. But the 'general scenario' of an older drummer who is competent, being passed over for a younger drummer who plays like a less mature player and musician in general...may actually come down to energy and appearance. At least insofar as whoever is promoting/supporting the band would rather have a certain energy/look and work with that, than get a solid player who sort of appears like he's not really part of the whole vibe.

I'm not a hotshot but believe very deeply that a drummer's job is to provide support, build excitement, and control the rhythm (possibly pushing it a little if appropriate). I have seen local drummers who's rhythm is a little shaky but are doing multiple stick tricks, crossing over etc. I try to play what I hear in my head, not just licks.
Can't ask for much more than that. Yours is a mature and effective way to approach drumming. The fact that you are defining your drumming philosophy in contrast to the more 'hot shot' type players indicates that you already know you aren't actually doing anything wrong. Also the fact that you notice that the flashy drummers have shaky rhythm is very cool. I'm a believer that the final product is only as impressive as the combination of real skill that resides within each musician. Drummers who don't really take the details of musicianship seriously can never really be more than shaky players. Even if their stick twirls are on point.
But on Saturday night when the amps are loud and the booze is flowing, observers will probably not notice the shakiness and they will think, "wow what a good drummer, only good drummers can do stick tricks!".

Thats usually what I mean when I say a player is "larping". Its when you go out to jam and you mistake the vibe, the scene, and the energy in the room for actual musicianship. It's the reason I don't even bother to jam out at a rental studio until I've vetted everyone's playing (and patience) first with some remote file sharing. I don't want to do the drummer schlep just to do a "hang" with some guys who want to sip brews, smoke vapes and chop distorted guitar to some cover songs they haven't really practiced,

So we are back to what the other members have suggested, maybe it's a matter of schmoozing skills, or connections, or hell even age. Maybe they really would prefer a drummer be super animated than super on point.
I haven't concerned myself with bar bands and bro bands for a long time. One of the reasons being that the venues don't really think like musicians. They really just want to entertain whom they perceive to be their audience. And if their audience is drunk and loves pretty guys in costumes, that's the kind of players they will tend to hire. Especially in the city, I always go 'woah' when I see a paying band say in their ad that costumes will be required at member's expense. Costumes! Dammit, I'm a drummer Jim, not a vampire!

When you take your drumming out of the studio and make it part of a 'show', you may as well assume that at least 50% of your success is based on your appearance. Also show biz is fickle. I know some very competent, optical bass and key players locally who have been suddenly dropped by paying, gigging bands they were having a blast with. The "core" band made the decision behind closed doors, and showed the poor fellow out with no more information than the old: "Not a good fit" Even though to most listeners it seemed to be a really good fit. So who the hell knows, lol.

Along with Viking whose raiding days have since passed.
Love this, lol.
 
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I have mirrors and cameras available to verify but for now I am content in the assumption that I look fantastic.
 
I've been told that when playing out, I smile more than most drummers. Yet whenever I see photos of myself playing, I usually seem to have a sort of angry concentration look.

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[Photo not actually GretschedHive but merely used for illustrative purposes]
 
The Marco Minnemann Dream Theatre audition is a great insight into showmanship and energy and so on.

 
I grew up playing in genres where what you looked like was secondary to how you played, so I never developed a "mainstream" version of how a drummer should look or act. The music was more important than the visual....for me, it still mainly is.

I was always told that I reminded people of Neil Peart when I played....concentration face.

in my current country band, it is weird b/c I really actually do not know how to be "country" on the drum set. I feel like most country drummers I see are just sort of sitting and playing. I get no complaints, and have been asked to play for 2 other bands, so I must be doing something right
 
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