The tom arms are in charge now. ☠
This is a bad situation all around, but Sweetwater will take care of you. I have no idea what could be going on over there, other than the aforementioned tom arms seizing control, but it will get resolved.
Some people do it to mix up tom fills without changing sticking, or to break up descending/ascending fills. I do it because I use the 12" more frequently than the 10" next to it. I want the sound I use more right in front of the snare for easier access.
It is a side snare tuned up higher than the main snare. Quite common. As for the toms, I do that as well. It is simply a personal preference in my case.
I feel that way too, but some people dig that. I prefer a flatter, more natural sound.
I hear that. It makes things so much more enjoyable when working on something IMO.
I do not think you can have one without the other. You do the math homework at home so you know what to do when you take the test in the classroom.
Edit: to make a little more sense