Ridiculous bands or events that you opened for OR opened for you

PorkPieGuy

Platinum Member
The "opening band" thread got me thinking about this one...have you ever had to open for something, or maybe had someone open for you that was ridiculous? Man, I've had a few.

I once was in a Christian rock band who had a beach music band open for us. Who did we open for? Accordion players.

Same genre as above but different band, opened for a Southern Gospel group. Went over like a lead balloon.

I was in an Americana band and opened for a quilting presentation.

I was in a country band. Our opening act was a punk folk ukulele player. We were at a VERY FAMILY-FRIENDLY setting, and this guy gets up and starts singing about suicide, his friend killing himself, using foul language, etc. The organizer shut him down after like two songs. So, we did our set. After us? A watermelon-eating contest.

How about you?
 
Not me, but a friend played after a group called Mr. Fancy Pants that somehow used a Playstation I to run its drumtracks.

I bought a Mr. Fancy Pants bumper sticker and affixed it to his car the next day ... My friend was pretty pissed when he discovered the bumper sticker on his car a couple of weeks later.
 
Not to be rude to any band from the 70's but at a medium sized summer fest few yrs back we were third in front of Boney M!..... Weird.
 
I got two stories I can share:

Probably 20 years ago now the metal band I was in was offered a headline show where there were TWO opening acts that we already predetermined. Not all that uncommon, but we weren’t told who one of the bands was until that night. The first band was a little rough. They had been around less than a year and were just kind of finding their groove, if that makes sense.

The second band was called Metallager. This was like their SECOND show ever. They were a Metallica tribute band that incorporated the famous watermelon smashing comedian Gallagher schtick into their act. Musically it was a bit rough, but we found out that it wasn’t necessarily the music that was gonna get people interested in them. It worked, but the stage was destroyed and super sticky and smelly. No plastic was put down, just utter chaos. It was comical until we realized that we had to follow that. Yea…not our finest hour, but you learn a lot about yourself when facing something like that.

The other story involves a CD release party another one of my bands was gonna throw. The bass player, a real quirky dude, suggested completely straight faced – “what if we had a Tupperware party before our show?” This was a very Brian Wilson inspired band. We had a horn section and keys and background singers, the whole thing. We couldn’t come up with a reason not to do it, so we had a Tupperware party before we played. The poor Tupperware lady spent an hour schlepping all her wares into a bar and another hour or so setting it all up. She sold NOTHING that night. I don’t even people thought it was real. We all felt really bad and helped her pack up and carry stuff out to her car. We gave her like $100 for her trouble.
 
Blues band on stage in the middle of a fairgrounds racetrack. Combine Demolition Derby.
We are covered in dust and dirt from the demolitions. We play our first tune and the grandstand empties.
We did get paid well...
Playing in Kansas at an indoor rodeo venue, used as a banquet hall in the winter.
In the arena, carpet has been laid over the dirt. Tables with white tablecloths, candelabra and fine dining tableware.
As the feast is served, we play dinner music and the ever-present aroma of cow poop wafts through the air.
 
Years ago 3 pipers and another drummer and I played in a strip club
(very long story).
Hysterical to try and watch them dance to a few of the faster tunes 😂 Does that count?Since I guess we opened for the dancers . The play on words joke in here is not lost on me 😉.
I can hear it already 😂….Pictures or it didn’t happen you say ? It DID happen , there WERE 2 or 3 pictures . They were destroyed long ago and if I had em well they were not appropriate to post 😳.

VERY weird night for sure 🤪
 
Lots of crazy stories from my time playing in my all originals rock n' roll/horn section/party band:

Played a celebration of life for a local bar owner, that was interesting (and very VERY drunk)

Played a wedding for some San Francisco corporate types that all got naked and danced (the bride was wearing sandals to her credit)

Some of the band and I did a country fill-in gig with some of Pinto Bennett's old bandmates that turned out to be a Hells Angels wedding

Played something called "Keg Fit" where we were the backing music for a circuit workout where the weights were empty kegs

Played a frisbee golf club private party where one of the hosts got a hold of the fog machine remote and set off the fire alarms, leading to the fire department showing up.

Played a Renaissance Fair and there was a guy fully in character playing the the part of a horrified onlooker that couldn't fathom our electronic instruments and strange futuristic fashion.

After a big local show we got asked to play a show on a landing on the steps of the capital in my town, showed up and there was no PA so we "jammed". We are not a jamming band. Also no drum rug and my kick was in danger of sliding away and falling down about 35 feet of stairs. I was also very hungover, sleep deprived, and fairly stoned. My friend was shooting pics of us and I was yelling at her begging to put a hand out and secure my bass drum. She misunderstood and started snapping pics of my bass drum. Thank god for sunglasses bc I definitely had tears in my eyes. Was a great picture though.

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Lol! That was a well described set up.

We played a private party for an outlaw biker bash. The Best Old Laby Contest was right after us. Lots of onstage nudity and some female to female interplay. But then again I saw female to female interplay at a local bar last night.
 
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Blues band on stage in the middle of a fairgrounds racetrack. Combine Demolition Derby.
We are covered in dust and dirt from the demolitions. We play our first tune and the grandstand empties.
We did get paid well...
Playing in Kansas at an indoor rodeo venue, used as a banquet hall in the winter.
In the arena, carpet has been laid over the dirt. Tables with white tablecloths, candelabra and fine dining tableware.
As the feast is served, we play dinner music and the ever-present aroma of cow poop wafts through the air.

Combine Demolition Derby would be a great band name!
 
I had a friend invite me to a jam session.

When I showed up/set up the cast of Vagina Monologue that was going through the city at the time arrived and did an impromptu selection of their performance.

No other musicians showed up...just a really odd scene.
 
A band I was in headlined a “corn boil “ in rural Nova Scotia a few years back.
3 day event ( we just played Saturday night for a 80 minute set ) .
Believe it or not - there was about 5,000 people there.
 
An Elvis impersonator opened for one of my rock bands. We joked that we had finally "made it" because Elvis opened for US. Lol. It was odd.
 
We played a really weird gig at the venue that used to be the Marque, which was now a fancy cuban looking restaurant/club.

My band at the time was a an Alternative-folk band opening for a Hendrix Tribute act, in an evening full of people wearing suit and ties eating their meals.

Very much a mismatch in music and the crowd seemed more interested in their meals.

The Hendrix tribute were absolutely brilliant, the guy as Jimi looked the part decked out in his Woodstock outfit, even had his mannerisms to a tea (closed eyes during solos, moving his jaw in certain ways, chewing gum…etc) and sang like him, but between songs he just talked normal - with his very thick Birmingham accent, which was a bit of a shock.

To finish things off he even set his guitar on fire, so he was very committed and you had to admire it.

Also, the evening had a compere introducing both bands decked out in a tux…and he got our bands name wrong on both occasions. We had to start each set as the curtains parted desperately trying to stop laughing from the ridiculousness of the whole evening.

Had an amazing steak and chips in the green room provided unprompted from the venue though in between sets and it was a fun evening all the same.
 
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I don’t know if it was ridiculous but played a job for a multi state meetup of outlaw motorcycle gangs. 5 or 6 different clubs together in what was a peace treaty meetup. It was in a clubhouse in a very sketchy part of town. The escorted us in and out of the neighborhood, gave us great food open bar and even gave us double of the agreed contract price. There was one door we couldn’t go near with a few really bad looking guys out front.. people that were allowed in came out a lot more cheerful .. I’m sure it was all on the up and up.. nevertheless treated us like kings.
 
We played the annual convention of undertakers and embalmers a few years back. The car park was full of hearses when we arrived.

No word of a lie they had a raffle where the first prize was a reconstruction course. I'll let you figure that out......

Barring the macabre nature of their jobs they were actually pretty cool.

Supported a Queen tribute once who were that up their own arses it was hilarious. The singer had dentition to look more like Freddie. They didn't speak to us all night, really bizarre atmosphere.
 
The "opening band" thread got me thinking about this one...have you ever had to open for something, or maybe had someone open for you that was ridiculous? Man, I've had a few.

I once was in a Christian rock band who had a beach music band open for us. Who did we open for? Accordion players.

Same genre as above but different band, opened for a Southern Gospel group. Went over like a lead balloon.

I was in an Americana band and opened for a quilting presentation.

I was in a country band. Our opening act was a punk folk ukulele player. We were at a VERY FAMILY-FRIENDLY setting, and this guy gets up and starts singing about suicide, his friend killing himself, using foul language, etc. The organizer shut him down after like two songs. So, we did our set. After us? A watermelon-eating contest.

How about you?

Best paying gig I ever had was my very first gig as a vocalist at the Deaf Club in Cicero
 
Many of the weird gigs have been on tour. One that sticks out to me was playing in some random coffee shop in Los Angeles. The opening band was a free jazz duo of saxophone and drums. It wasn’t my cup of tea, especially when the drummer took an extended “drum solo” that involved him dumping out a big canvas bag full of pots and pans and crawling around on his hands and knees, grabbing various objects and banging them together. I was embarrassed for them. People that came to see us got up and left and came back later.

We had just played the Getty Center the night before, and from that point on, we referred to the tour as our “From the Getty to the petty” tour.
 
Many of the weird gigs have been on tour. One that sticks out to me was playing in some random coffee shop in Los Angeles. The opening band was a free jazz duo of saxophone and drums. It wasn’t my cup of tea, especially when the drummer took an extended “drum solo” that involved him dumping out a big canvas bag full of pots and pans and crawling around on his hands and knees, grabbing various objects and banging them together.

I think you just won.
 
I'm not sure if this counts as it has not so much to do with opening acts or the like... but the weirdest gig was probably in a school, this was back in 2008 when I was pretty new in a, at the time, upcoming metal band. The guitar player arranged a non-alcoholic event to get as much teenagers (or younger) audience as possible, he was under the impression that there were many in that age group that wanted to see us live but couldn't get into our regular gigs. So, he booked a school gymnasium at a local elementary school, and had a couple of other local acts open for us. A lot of planning and preparations, ads in the paper, flyers etc. The sound in there was awful, to say the least. By the time we were going to play, there were a group of 5 young boys in the audience, that was it. We had to finish up our set and at the end, several of the band members was talking about quitting the band alltogether, it was like it all felt so incredible stupid and pointless (we were between 20-30 years old at this point, maybe it could have passed if we were teenagers ourselves). We took some time off after, before we found our way back... And maybe the thing that made me the most embarassed was that my father lived really close by and that was one of maybe two shows he has seen me play. Or, more accurately, he saw two songs and decided to leave...

Can't remember many weird opening acts, maybe one time where the band was so stoned they had to re-start one of their songs 4 times...
 
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