So Larry will my new home allow me to play my drums with no hindrances? Can I procreate and make new babies- pass on my traits? I’m not interested in financial gain but can I still work and feel productive? Are there others like me there? Will I fit in? Does your species “feel” emotions like love and laughter?- I suspect so from you but we humans may have rubbed off on you. Will I have access to all your knowledge or is it way beyond our comprehension? I have so many questions- I feel giddy youth like that movie Cocoon. Will I get to visit earth again or is it a one way ticket? So is your time same or ahead of ours so you know our future- our we living in your past?
These are slave questions. Dude, carte blanche (within reason)
To answer your questions in order:
1. Yes
2. For sure, we have mistresses in competition for you. We are providing a whole lush planet just waiting for you. You are to be appointed highest authority until you wish to leave.
3. You will be doing more than your part into saving this planet and everyone on it. There's no need for money here. We imagine what we want.
4. Not yet. We need a compelling reason...you...to attract others. That's a fact not me blowing smoke up your derriere.
5. You are already revered.
6. What a dumb question. Let me put this bluntly. Almost the entire human race is dumbed down. We know how to reverse that. Our sense of laughter and emotion is roughly 82.7564 times better than the very best of those particular human experiences.
7. We will give you all you can handle but we have to withhold certain info until when it's go time.
8. Carte Blanche.
9. Human conception of what time actually is...is so seriously flawed so you'll need recalibration to understand the actual answer. Not a valid question.
You'll be a rock star when you want, a country boy when you want, whatever you can imagine becomes reality, with certain restrictions, when you say. You have no control over others free will. Persuasion is fair game though. You're the boss (for the most part) Imagine the complete opposite of what you guys have here. Great health, lots of respect, practically limitless power, no assholes, our authorities can't fleece you here. Land of milk and honey. You can even fly unaided.
This is our best offer. It's becoming a take it or leave it situation. Your stock will drop if you don't decide before I leave in 2058. We're also looking closely at Darth Vater. Are you really gonna let that chump prevail?
Look we want you. You have what we need.