DRUMMERWORLD OFFICIAL DISCUSSION FORUM   

Go Back   DRUMMERWORLD OFFICIAL DISCUSSION FORUM > Off Topic Lounge

Off Topic Lounge All Discussions Not Related To Drumming

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 05-23-2011, 04:25 AM
Stalwart_Pandora-Chris's Avatar
Stalwart_Pandora-Chris Stalwart_Pandora-Chris is offline
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 727
Default And the bullies back...

Some of you may remember a thread I started a while ago about a kids brother who was threatening me.

Yeah, well now the kid has took it a limit where he's hurt my friends feelings and pushing him to an extent of aggression. And my friends pretty calm usually.

So my friend kinda turned against me til I told him the truth, when I told him the truth. He's seen different of him since. So what the kid did was he knew my friend was crazy over a girl so he went and asked her out for himself (the kid for himself. And he knew my friend loves her) and she rejected him. He texted me to say that he's getting pushed to a limit. Not only that, some other friends have been saying the kids been talking about me and spreading rumours about me. So some got shared... Saying I was bullying him, I ruined his life, I think I'm the best person on the planet etc. etc. when in reality it's the other way around.
Not only that, ALL of my friends have had it with him and since I found out all the stuff he was saying about me and especially since a girl lied saying she was going out with me because she was scared (which I do not care about. I like to defend my friends) he's been threatening her and saying he'd have a word with me next time he see's me. But at the moment, I think it's time I had a word with him. He's actually putting my blood to a boil and I am a calm person too (as are all of my friends).

He's told a few that he can see them and just stood staring at them and they were getting creeped out. Either he's trying to ruin MY life. Or my friendship with other people.
The thing that annoys me the most is the part of him asking the girl my friend likes out now she said "I can't go out with you incase he tries to kill you or me." Because the kid is pyscho.

He's pushing us all to a limit where we all want to hurt him.
He disappeared once for 4 months. BEST 4 MONTHS OF MY LIFE to be honest, comes back and steals all my friends.

Should I leave him be unless he tries "to have a word with me"?
I'm not going to hurt him unless he hurts me or my friends. And I'm not a violent person so the ratio of that is 2:5.
__________________
Mapex, Sabian, Vic Firth.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 05-23-2011, 01:07 PM
eddiehimself's Avatar
eddiehimself eddiehimself is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Room 409
Posts: 2,565
Default Re: And the bullies back...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stalwart_Pandora-Chris View Post
He's pushing us all to a limit where we all want to hurt him.
He disappeared once for 4 months. BEST 4 MONTHS OF MY LIFE to be honest, comes back and steals all my friends.
ok i've just got to ask, if your friends really hate this guy so much then how come they've come back to like this person again? To be honest, I think you should stop thinking about your friends as being some sort of posession that can be nicked by someone you don't like. If your friends would rather associate themselves with this person than you, then they're obviously not your friends. But have you tried just living and let live? Maybe they want to be friends with both you and him as well?

To be perfectly honest, it's really not worth worrying about. If you don't like him then just ignore him, and tell your friends about that as well. Seriously, life really is far too short to get worked up about idiots like that.
__________________
Underworked, underpaid and under-sexed...

EHs Music Facebook Page
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-23-2011, 01:13 PM
Metronome's Avatar
Metronome Metronome is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 19
Default Re: And the bullies back...

Dude, I don't know how old you are, but I'm guessing early teens. What I wish I could have understood at your age:

None of the shit that happens in junior high/high school, from a social perspective, will ever matter in the slightest sense of a squirt of pigeon shit. Nope, when this will matter is when you're in your 20's 30's and 40's looking to build your network of friends through business, and by then, the guys trying to bone your girl, or trying to wreck shit for you will be so easily identifiable that you'll see them coming a mile away. If not, you'll know how to prioritize things in your life so that the effects of their behavior will be minimal.

Watch how many of the people in that group you speak of never end up getting away from chronic alcoholism or marijuana usage. Watch how many of them have children when they're 17/18. It matters now, sure, but it won't next year or in 5 years. I would pay the whole situation ZERO mind, and play your drums instead.
__________________
Sonor 3007 6pc.-Zildjians-Sabian-DW Tshirt-Pearl Tuning Key
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-23-2011, 01:22 PM
eddiehimself's Avatar
eddiehimself eddiehimself is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Room 409
Posts: 2,565
Default Re: And the bullies back...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Metronome View Post
Dude, I don't know how old you are, but I'm guessing early teens. What I wish I could have understood at your age:

None of the shit that happens in junior high/high school, from a social perspective, will ever matter in the slightest sense of a squirt of pigeon shit. Nope, when this will matter is when you're in your 20's 30's and 40's looking to build your network of friends through business, and by then, the guys trying to bone your girl, or trying to wreck shit for you will be so easily identifiable that you'll see them coming a mile away. If not, you'll know how to prioritize things in your life so that the effects of their behavior will be minimal.

Watch how many of the people in that group you speak of never end up getting away from chronic alcoholism or marijuana usage. Watch how many of them have children when they're 17/18. It matters now, sure, but it won't next year or in 5 years. I would pay the whole situation ZERO mind, and play your drums instead.
That's pretty much what i was going to say, but i didn't want to sound condescending. Obviously it's a really big problem for you right now, but to be perfectly honest that's because as a 15 year old you probably don't have much else to worry about. As you get older, you'll long for the days when the worst problem you had was some annoying kid getting on your nerves. I know it sounds REALLY condescending but honestly i wouldn't say it if it wasn't true.
__________________
Underworked, underpaid and under-sexed...

EHs Music Facebook Page
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-23-2011, 01:33 PM
Metronome's Avatar
Metronome Metronome is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 19
Default Re: And the bullies back...

Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiehimself View Post


That's pretty much what i was going to say, but i didn't want to sound condescending. Obviously it's a really big problem for you right now, but to be perfectly honest that's because as a 15 year old you probably don't have much else to worry about. As you get older, you'll long for the days when the worst problem you had was some annoying kid getting on your nerves. I know it sounds REALLY condescending but honestly i wouldn't say it if it wasn't true.
Yeah.. I don't know how to articulate that any more kindly. I guess it's self-resentment for the amount of time I spent ticked off about the same things at that age. OP, please don't take that like I was talking down at you; it's just matter of fact.
__________________
Sonor 3007 6pc.-Zildjians-Sabian-DW Tshirt-Pearl Tuning Key
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-23-2011, 03:04 PM
GRUNTERSDAD's Avatar
GRUNTERSDAD GRUNTERSDAD is offline
Administrator
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Florida's West Coast
Posts: 15,629
Default Re: And the bullies back...

You have parents, teachers, school administrators, and councelors to handle this. Why in the world would you bring this to a musical/drumming forum? If those people can't help you how do you expect us to. This is so much junior high drama that just doesn't belong.
__________________
Thank you for sharing my day.
Gretsch Renown
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 05-23-2011, 03:15 PM
Pollyanna's Avatar
Pollyanna Pollyanna is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Cyberspace, Sydney connection
Posts: 10,000
Default Re: And the bullies back...

Being bullied sucks. Really sucks. The good news is that, as the years pass, the bullying reduces. It never actually goes away, though. There will always be damaged goods, energy vampires and various kinds of parasites out there.

Chris, my advice is to avoid any sort of entanglement with problem people as much as is possible (and then some) ... in time you'll be able to pick 'em a mile off.

You can't talk reason to damaged goods and there's never reason to be offended when an a*hole behaves like an a*hole. That's what they do. Focus on the good people instead. And, especially, don't play in bands with them.
__________________
.
Polly's rhythms
.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 05-23-2011, 03:17 PM
JT1's Avatar
JT1 JT1 is offline
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Bedlington, UK
Posts: 731
Default Re: And the bullies back...

Yeah mate, I think we've all had problems with bullying sometime in our life, those who say they haven't are probably lying.

The thing is there is only one action you can take to combat this, you need to say 'I don't give a shit'. Just ignore him and your 'supposed' friends if you need to and get on with your life. Find new friends ones that are actually worthy of your time and that don't side with the dick-head because they're scared of him. True friends will stick up for you no matter what and don't side with the person who dominates by fear.

This guy causing trouble is obviously an idiot, it's all petty crap that he's doing and I doubt it will go any further than that, if he starts getting to the stage where he is backing you into a corner and looking for a fight it's simple you stand up straight in front of him and give him a good hard push and tell him to bring it (not a punch, that way you avoid getting into trouble), he'll be shocked to say the least and will probably back down, bullies are cowards and don't know what to do when they are stood up to.

I think the best possible advice mate is to laugh it off and just ignore everything, nothing irritates these people more then being ignored and laughed at. So the next time you hear a rumour about yourself from someone, rather than get angry about it just literally laugh in the face of the person who said it and walk away. This will destroy any sense of a rumour's credibility, trust me I've been there.

Good luck marra and like people have already said, this sort of stuff won't matter in a couple of years. In fact the same guy will probably come up to you in 5 years and apologise for being a dick in school, I've seen that happen many times.
__________________
Totally addicted to BASS....drum...pedals
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 05-23-2011, 03:20 PM
JT1's Avatar
JT1 JT1 is offline
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Bedlington, UK
Posts: 731
Default Re: And the bullies back...

Quote:
Originally Posted by GRUNTERSDAD View Post
You have parents, teachers, school administrators, and councelors to handle this. Why in the world would you bring this to a musical/drumming forum? If those people can't help you how do you expect us to. This is so much junior high drama that just doesn't belong.
Howay man Grundersdad have some decency, maybe this guy finds it hard talking to people he knows? Maybe someone here might understand him whereas other people don't?

Parents and school teachers do sod-all in a situation like this unless it is extreme circumstances.

It isn't like he posted this in the drum gear section or the general topics area. It's in the off topic area.
__________________
Totally addicted to BASS....drum...pedals
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 05-23-2011, 03:21 PM
Pocket-full-of-gold's Avatar
Pocket-full-of-gold Pocket-full-of-gold is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Melbourne, Australia.
Posts: 10,003
Default Re: And the bullies back...

Quote:
Originally Posted by JT1 View Post
you need to say 'I don't give a shit'.
I will......thanks mate, great advice. :-)
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 05-23-2011, 03:29 PM
Pollyanna's Avatar
Pollyanna Pollyanna is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Cyberspace, Sydney connection
Posts: 10,000
Default Re: And the bullies back...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pocket-full-of-gold View Post
I will......thanks mate, great advice. :-)
Oh, you sensitive new age old thing, you :-P
__________________
.
Polly's rhythms
.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 05-23-2011, 03:34 PM
mediocrefunkybeat
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: And the bullies back...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pollyanna View Post
Oh, you sensitive new age old thing, you :-P
I'm crying into my wheatgrass...

Chris, what I said the first time around applies here in equal measure. I was bullied for years. I moved on and I'm much better for it.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 05-23-2011, 04:21 PM
GRUNTERSDAD's Avatar
GRUNTERSDAD GRUNTERSDAD is offline
Administrator
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Florida's West Coast
Posts: 15,629
Default Re: And the bullies back...

Quote:
Originally Posted by JT1 View Post
Howay man Grundersdad have some decency, maybe this guy finds it hard talking to people he knows? Maybe someone here might understand him whereas other people don't?

Parents and school teachers do sod-all in a situation like this unless it is extreme circumstances.

It isn't like he posted this in the drum gear section or the general topics area. It's in the off topic area.

I am beyond decent. this is the second thread on this and it just doesn't belong. Strangers or no thats what councelors are for. Parents and teachers, of which I am/was both will do as much as you let them but you have to talk. We all had problems growing up. teachers and parents can tell when something is wrong, but most kids when asked will say, "nothing". That is not how to solve the problem sorry. We are getting one side of the story. Who knows who started what. Teachers can talk to both sides and get it resolved. Sorry. I am sticking to my guns on this.


From the forum rules:

Please do not start a new thread to discuss how much you don't like someone or something. If you have a chip on your shoulder or an ax to grind, this is not the place for you.
__________________
Thank you for sharing my day.
Gretsch Renown
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 05-23-2011, 04:44 PM
Pocket-full-of-gold's Avatar
Pocket-full-of-gold Pocket-full-of-gold is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Melbourne, Australia.
Posts: 10,003
Default Re: And the bullies back...

Quote:
Originally Posted by GRUNTERSDAD View Post
From the forum rules:

Please do not start a new thread to discuss how much you don't like someone or something. If you have a chip on your shoulder or an ax to grind, this is not the place for you.
Unless of course, that something is jazz, trad.grip, double pedals, large kits, small kits or pursuing music as a career......then all bets are off.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 05-23-2011, 05:44 PM
keep it simple's Avatar
keep it simple keep it simple is online now
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Herefordshire, UK.
Posts: 16,989
Default Re: And the bullies back...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pocket-full-of-gold View Post
Unless of course, that something is jazz, trad.grip, double pedals, large kits, small kits or pursuing music as a career......then all bets are off.
Lol!!!----------------------
__________________
This message is brought to you courtesy of Thinly Veiled Productions inc.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 05-23-2011, 05:55 PM
inneedofgrace's Avatar
inneedofgrace inneedofgrace is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: New Jersey - Exit 5
Posts: 1,560
Default Re: And the bullies back...

I wasn't really bullied in school, but I wasn't really one of the cool kids that fit in to the popular cliques either. I was an odd combination of jock and brainiac, so I didn't really fit into either group. So I'd say I was ignored by the "cool" kids in high school, but not really threatened much.

But to get to the other's points here - I went to my 10th year high school reunion, and suddenly all the "cool" kids wanted to be my best friend. I had a real good job and a beautiful wife, and it didn't take them very long to realize that the life they were living in high school wasn't real at all. Once they graduated, it all fell apart, and many of them never really recovered.

High school may seem like it lasts a long time, and problems at the time are real, but remember those years are fleeting in the grand scheme of life. I guarantee you will look back ten years from now and either laugh or shake your head at what you thought was critical at the time.
__________________
"Through many dangers, toils and snares..." - Amazing Grace, third verse
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 05-23-2011, 06:48 PM
GRUNTERSDAD's Avatar
GRUNTERSDAD GRUNTERSDAD is offline
Administrator
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Florida's West Coast
Posts: 15,629
Default Re: And the bullies back...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pocket-full-of-gold View Post
Unless of course, that something is jazz, trad.grip, double pedals, large kits, small kits or pursuing music as a career......then all bets are off.

I only stated the rule. I don't enforce them.
__________________
Thank you for sharing my day.
Gretsch Renown

Last edited by GRUNTERSDAD; 05-23-2011 at 08:19 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 05-23-2011, 07:36 PM
eddiehimself's Avatar
eddiehimself eddiehimself is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Room 409
Posts: 2,565
Default Re: And the bullies back...

Quote:
Originally Posted by GRUNTERSDAD View Post
I only stated the rule. I don't inforce them.
* enforce.
__________________
Underworked, underpaid and under-sexed...

EHs Music Facebook Page
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 05-23-2011, 08:16 PM
mediocrefunkybeat
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: And the bullies back...

Quote:
Originally Posted by inneedofgrace View Post
High school may seem like it lasts a long time, and problems at the time are real, but remember those years are fleeting in the grand scheme of life. I guarantee you will look back ten years from now and either laugh or shake your head at what you thought was critical at the time.
I agree. As somebody who has been out of school for a few years now, I look back at it all and laugh. The thing is now that I think about it is that I don't think that I would have liked myself very much at all!
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 05-23-2011, 08:20 PM
Stalwart_Pandora-Chris's Avatar
Stalwart_Pandora-Chris Stalwart_Pandora-Chris is offline
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 727
Default Re: And the bullies back...

I guess you guys are all right.
It's just my friend that's really taking offence to it, and the kid bullied me in the past and he's bullying alot of my friends and I don't want him bullying them too. I think he's just going to end up sitting in the corner with nobody soon, we've all decided to ignore him.

Thanks :)
And sorry Gruntersdad. I didn't mean to offend anyone :/
__________________
Mapex, Sabian, Vic Firth.
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 05-23-2011, 09:17 PM
GRUNTERSDAD's Avatar
GRUNTERSDAD GRUNTERSDAD is offline
Administrator
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Florida's West Coast
Posts: 15,629
Default Re: And the bullies back...

You didn't offend me or anyone else. I just think airing this type of thing on a music forum is not very fruitful.

you and your friends may want to visit this site.

http://www.bullyingawarenessweek.org/
__________________
Thank you for sharing my day.
Gretsch Renown
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 05-23-2011, 10:11 PM
Stalwart_Pandora-Chris's Avatar
Stalwart_Pandora-Chris Stalwart_Pandora-Chris is offline
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 727
Default Re: And the bullies back...

Quote:
Originally Posted by GRUNTERSDAD View Post
You didn't offend me or anyone else. I just think airing this type of thing on a music forum is not very fruitful.

you and your friends may want to visit this site.

http://www.bullyingawarenessweek.org/
Sorry haha, I shouldn't have really. I'm aware now.

Ok thank you :)
__________________
Mapex, Sabian, Vic Firth.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are Off
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off




All times are GMT +2. The time now is 12:37 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Bernhard Castiglioni's DRUMMERWORLD.com