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  #1  
Old 08-15-2010, 04:39 AM
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Default I need some advices about playing

Hi everybody.

I've been visiting this site for some months and finally a got the guts to ask for help, as I am almost ready to give up drumming (again).

First let me explain the situation: I have no feeling while playing. I love music, know a lot about music history and am a capable drummer (enough to play on pubs and such places) but I just can't express what I feel around the people I play with.

I started learning drums 3 years ago, then stopped for a year due to the same problems. My "school" is one of the greatest around. Many great musicians came out of it, and many people around there had success and are always bringing the new guys down.

I don't have a band, heck, I don't even have a drum kit (this issue always kept me from venturing into buying one), but now that I came back to drumming and am improving greatly, I want to do it, I want to become a real drummer.


I only play with the schools band, at a bar, in which we play every weak. The better drummers solo the night (one is just about as good as myself, but he has more groove, although he has tempo issues), but I can't ever get to express what I'm feeling.

Maybe because I always feel like they unappreciated me, and only let me play the boring, easy musics (that I've been playing for months now). I just wanted a chance to prove them wrong, but how can I do it when I can't even smile while I play?

Even when I'm enjoying myself, I can never express that physically, and that's a huge problem for them.

Some other drummers say that I'm being too hard on myself, as I started playing not that much long ago. Others make jokes about me for not having a drum kit (when you need to have 2 jobs just to pay for collage things get a little complicated to those who don't have parents), and the master of the school, NEVER gives me credit for anything. I'm much self thought. Although I'm in the school, I quit the lessons 1 year after I started because the teacher couldn't teach me anything else. I've worked hard, practiced like crazy and proven them that even after stopping for a year, I could still play songs the never could (I have a great memory, so complicated musics don't scare me much).

Even so, they still don't take me serious, and that makes me feel helpless and useless, and therefore, I can't feel at ease.



Can anyone, please, help me somehow? I'm getting pretty frustrated and I'm afraid I might give up again :(

I thank you in advance.



PS: I'm the guy with less auto confidence ant self esteem around, that might explain a thing or two...
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Old 08-15-2010, 10:06 AM
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Default Re: I need some advices about playing

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Maybe because I always feel like they unappreciated me, and only let me play the boring, easy musics (that I've been playing for months now). I just wanted a chance to prove them wrong, but how can I do it when I can't even smile while I play?
When you can play the "boring, easy musics" with beautiful groove and feel, then you will be ready for the more demanding stuff.

When you can snatch the pebble from my hand, then you will be ready ...

...
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Old 08-15-2010, 10:35 AM
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Default Re: I need some advices about playing

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Maybe because I always feel like they unappreciated me, ...
Who are "they"? Your perception of them is clearly a big part of the problem. If "they" are other drummers, or even other musicians, they only represent a tiny portion of your potential audience. & yes, musicians are a bitchy bunch sometimes. If you can get a recording of your playing, even a poor quality recording, put it up on here & let the Drummerworld guys give you an opinion. At least we're disconnected from the musician click your involved with, & will mostly tell you the truth (or at least the ones who aren't drunk most of the time. LOL!)

A big welcome to the forum.
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Old 08-15-2010, 05:53 PM
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Default Re: I need some advices about playing

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Originally Posted by Pollyanna View Post
When you can play the "boring, easy musics" with beautiful groove and feel, then you will be ready for the more demanding stuff.

When you can snatch the pebble from my hand, then you will be ready ...

...
The problems are not the music itself. They only let me play the easier ones because the other drummers don't want to play them, we can say that I only play leftovers and I wanted to play something harder to prove them I can play more the leftovers.

Quote:
Originally Posted by keep it simple View Post
Who are "they"? Your perception of them is clearly a big part of the problem. If "they" are other drummers, or even other musicians, they only represent a tiny portion of your potential audience. & yes, musicians are a bitchy bunch sometimes. If you can get a recording of your playing, even a poor quality recording, put it up on here & let the Drummerworld guys give you an opinion. At least we're disconnected from the musician click your involved with, & will mostly tell you the truth (or at least the ones who aren't drunk most of the time. LOL!)

A big welcome to the forum.
"They" are other drummers mainly. Although the master (who plays bass and guitar) never appreciates anything I do for the music school (not just playing, but keeping the place organized, getting new students, etc). He doesn't even comments on my playing, like he doesn't even cares if I play or not. He ignores me, while other students, while playing worse, get all the attention. I just don't know what I can do anymore. I'm tired of busting my ass while others don't give a damn and get all the attention and recognition.

The musicians outside of the school like me. Many saw me learning and say I have a lot of potential (they're overrating me, but still, at least they give me some credit). Many like my style of plying (I tend to be simple and dynamic, so the other musicians may feel comfortable and the crowd notices the changes in the music (when it opens, rises, fades, etc)), but to me, it's the schools musicians I have to prove wrong.

I'm thinking about spending almost 2000 on a kit and if I do it, I wont rest until I have a successful band, thing that they can never do, as no one can put up with their attitudes for long (yes, they're bastards who played in more than 20 bands in the last 7 or 8 years, never lasting more that a year in any of them).


I'll try to record something while playing with them school band something while playing alone so you can see the difference.


Thank you both for your help.
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  #5  
Old 08-15-2010, 06:08 PM
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Default Re: I need some advices about playing

If I were you and so unsure of myself, I wouldn't spend 2000 Euros on a drum set. Find a used one for 25% of that and see where you stand. those other drummers sure don't care much about music if they can ridicule, rather than help another drummer. Good luck.
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  #6  
Old 08-16-2010, 03:12 PM
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Default Re: I need some advices about playing

Hey Loseless,
I think some of the problem is that you are so down on yourself, you make it easy for others to ridicule.
Remember why you play drums; you love the sound, the feel, the buzz!
If you can, as you say, remember the music really easily, then just relax and play. Don`t worry about smiling or what other musos think. Remember that it is the audience that matters and if you play to the crowd and fit with the band, that is all they really care about.
When you learn to appreciate your own skills and abilities, you will find it easier to accept "constructive" criticism and ignore "petty" mindedness.
Be the best you can be and enjoy it!!!
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  #7  
Old 08-16-2010, 03:27 PM
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Default Re: I need some advices about playing

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Originally Posted by Loseless View Post
The problems are not the music itself. They only let me play the easier ones because the other drummers don't want to play them, we can say that I only play leftovers and I wanted to play something harder to prove them I can play more the leftovers.
Playing easy tunes (as long as they are good ones) is one of the joys of life. You can just relax into the groove and you have the time and space to add a ton of feel.

Forget about being impressive and you'll find more people will be impressed. If you play those leftover songs beautifully, then they will let you play more advanced tunes. Yu are clearly expected to show that you have the easy ones under control before they let you loose on the more challenging material.

Think of Steve Gadd, one of the greats. He says he never feels as though he's above a song, and he always tries to live up to the music - to do it justice.

I know young guys can be pretty competitive, but if you let all that crap wash over you people you will be glad you did when you look back on that time later in life.

Trust me. I'm old :)
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Old 08-16-2010, 04:45 PM
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Default Re: I need some advices about playing

I hate to say this, but beneath your alleged lack of self-confidence, you might also have to rein in your ego. Are you playing music because you want to prove how much better than you are than others, or are you playing because you love music?

I played in my university big band. There were three drummers. Two of them were music majors, and I was taking broadcasting, which means I was like an outsider. Early in the school year, there were lots of pieces I wanted to play, which I thought I could do a better job at than the other drummers. But I shrugged off these thoughts because I realized my ego was getting in the way. So I learned to appreciate every chance to play, no matter what they gave me. And I learned to love all the pieces I was given. I never dissed the other drummers, and eventually got on very well with them and all the other musicians.

About not having a drum set..... after I graduated, a new trio of drummers replaced us in the big band. Two of them were monster musicians who came with a reputation, and blew me away when I first heard them. They did not own their own drum set until they turned pro a couple of years later. They had to take turns on the beat-up school drum set to practice. About 5 years later, they were considered among the best drummers in my country.

So get over your frustrations. But more important control your ego. Be thankful that you get a chance to play. And if its true that musicians outside your school think you are cool, then it will just be a matter of time before they call you for gigs.
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Old 08-16-2010, 04:52 PM
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Default Re: I need some advices about playing

I don't quite get your situation, Loseless. What are you referring to with the idea of "expressing yourself"? Are you saying that musically you can't play what you want to play, or something else? At some points it sounds like you're referring to talking about music (or even just talking in general), and at some points it sounds like you're referring to showing emotion withn your body language or something. Can you clarify what you had in mind?

Also, it sounds to me like one of the primary things you're looking for is the praise or at least "good job"-style recognition of others. Although that's certainly a common, at least partial, motivation for going into arts and entertainment fields, I personally do not believe it's a good reason for getting into the fields, as you're likely to receive just as much rejection and negative criticism as acceptance and praise. That's true even if you were to become famous and be financially successful.

I believe that one should get into arts and entertainment fields only because one basically can not be happy or satisfied without creating the stuff in question (like playing drums in this case). That's not to say I'm one of those "it shouldn't be for money" folks. It's rather that it's way too tough of a business to bother with if it's not the case that you'd need to do it regardless of what else might be going on, regardless of whether you're making any money, or receiving any praise from it, etc. If you need to do it, then anything additional you get from it is just gravy--the fact that you are doing it is sufficient to satisfy the drive. If someone were just looking for money, or praise, or whatever, there are far easier and more consistent ways to acquire it than getting into an arts or entertainment industry.

Re "having no feeling when playing (or even listening) to music", if there are times when playing or listening to music emotionally affects you, then it would probably just be a case of being temporarily burned out on it. Sometimes that arises from immersing oneself in it for a long period of time, and sometimes you need a break.

I've taken breaks from drumming--quite long breaks a couple times, as I also play other instruments and have had periods where I concentrated on those much more. I've been on the road gigging on other instruments and not even had much of a chance to play drums if I wanted to, for example.

I've even taken long breaks from music altogether a few times over the years. At one point, I went about six months not only not performing or writing any music, but not even really listening to any music. I was more immersed in other things at the time, and music wasn't doing much for me emotionally for whatever reason . . . it was starting to all sound pretty bland.

In the end, the break did me a tremendous amount of good, as when I started listening to and playing music again afterwards, it seemed as if I were experiencing it as freshly as when I was a very young kid. I got that excited about it again. So now, when I've got breaks professionally--and I make sure to schedule some now, I'll occasionally try to not listen to any music for at least a week or two, since that helps me come back to it with fresh ears again.

However, if playing music has never given rise to emotional reactions for you, I can't see any reason to pursue it professionally. Do something that you're more interested in, that arises passions in you, instead (and if nothing fits that bill, it's worth checking out if you might not have "clinical depression").

I'm also confused about your comments about school. It sounds like you're referring to a music school, but it wouldn't be the case that you're in music school but just not playing at all.

Also, if you don't have a drum kit, I'm just curious whose kit you had been learning and playing on.

You play with the school's band at a bar?? That sounds odd. "The better drummers solo the night"??? That sentence makes no sense to me. And then you bring up "expressing yourself" again, where I don't know what you'd be referring to--playing? Talking? What?

Last edited by BrewBillfold; 08-16-2010 at 05:05 PM.
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  #10  
Old 08-16-2010, 05:01 PM
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Default Re: I need some advices about playing

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Originally Posted by Loseless View Post
"They" are other drummers mainly. Although the master (who plays bass and guitar) never appreciates anything I do for the music school (not just playing, but keeping the place organized, getting new students, etc). He doesn't even comments on my playing, like he doesn't even cares if I play or not. He ignores me, while other students, while playing worse, get all the attention. I just don't know what I can do anymore. I'm tired of busting my ass while others don't give a damn and get all the attention and recognition.
It's also confusing what kind of school you're talking about. Most of it sounds like you must be talking about something like what we'd call "grade school" in the US, but then it's a grade school band playing in a bar?? Again, if it's a music school at a university level, and you're a drum principal, you'd not have the option of not playing if you're in school. If you have another instrument as your principal, why would you be playing drums in the school band anyway? They'd have you playing (one of) your principal instrument(s).

[Later edit: Ah--and if, as suggested by another poster above, you're not actually a music major, but someone who occasionally plays in some band in the school, then typically they're not going to focus on you so much; it's more important for the music majors to play their principal instruments in the band in question. They would look at you as more of a hobbyist. There could be situations where that's not the case--for example, the music majors with drums as a principal instrument just aren't very good, and you're fantastic even though you're not a music major, but that would be a pretty unusual scenario, and especially unlikely given that you said a number of well-respected players have emerged from the school.]

And at any rate, if your school situation is difficult, maybe just don't worry about it--put your focus elsewhere. Get yourself a budget drumkit and start your own band that has nothing to do with school. Your life is not going to be centered around being a student for very long.
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Old 08-16-2010, 05:12 PM
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Default Re: I need some advices about playing

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Originally Posted by Loseless View Post
PS: I'm the guy with less auto confidence ant self esteem around, that might explain a thing or two...
This is it right here.

Welcome to the forum. It sounds like you have a tough row to hoe without parents and financing your own education. You should be way proud of the fact that without parental help, you are going for it and doing it. You should be giving yourself a ton of credit!

Everything you described is all in your head. You are your own biggest obstacle. Get out of your own way and allow yourself to move forward.

Confidence and self esteem are 2 of the very best things to strive for. I wouldn't concentrate on the drumming aspect, I would concentrate on the personal confidence aspect. That will automatically carry over into your playing, and every other area of your life. People can smell underconfidence and low self esteem a kilometer away and will eat you alive, suck your juices and spit you out. And it all stems from within yourself, you can't blame others.

The only thing that has ever made me truly happy or genuinely confident in myself.....

Is my own accomplishments and dogged detgermination.

Work on your confidence, and your life will magically start to fall into place. Develop a plan. Know where you are going. Fake it till you make it. Start saying confident things, even if you don't feel them yet, it will come with time and conditioning. People like to be around others who are confident. Women like confident men, they feel secure and protected, men like confident men so they can have someone to emulate.

An unconfident man doesn't get the girl, the gig, the good stuff.

So what's it gonna be???

Last edited by larryace; 08-16-2010 at 05:23 PM.
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Old 08-16-2010, 05:16 PM
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men like confident men.
Really?


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Old 08-16-2010, 05:27 PM
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Default Re: I need some advices about playing

Well yea...not sexually lol. Confidence is contageous
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Old 08-16-2010, 06:32 PM
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Well yea...not sexually lol. Confidence is contageous
ya.. that was awkward. lol
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Old 08-16-2010, 06:32 PM
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Well yea...not sexually lol. Confidence is contageous
Larry, you're right, of course. Just couldn't help pulling your string. It's my new temporary avatar frustration coming out.

Hey BTW, good luck tonight. You'll get the gig, no problem. BE CONFIDENT! LOL.
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Old 08-16-2010, 06:48 PM
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Default Re: I need some advices about playing

Hey Andy you can yank my chain anytime. Lovin the new avatar too! Thanks for the well wishes. I got a list of 47 songs to learn, 40 of which are ingrained in my brain from growing up on them. The other 7is just a matter of listening to them. The hardest one far and away is "21st Century Schizoid Man" That will take some time for sure.
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Old 08-16-2010, 07:06 PM
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Default Re: I need some advices about playing

First of all, thank you so much for all your answers. English is not my first language, so I deeply apologize for any syntax errors, plus I'm also dyslexic, so sometimes things make sense in my head but when I write them, it's a whole different story.

First of all, let me clarify one thing. The music school I mentioned is a common music school, who only teaches music as a part-time activity to most students. Kids come here to have lessons and then leave. We also have bands, project bands, so the kids can perform as they improve. That's how many of us started there and has been working for years. It formed many great musicians and it's all thanks to 2 ou 3 people, who are really good musicians (recording artists, not musicians who just play gigs at bars and pubs).

Quote:
Originally Posted by GRUNTERSDAD View Post
If I were you and so unsure of myself, I wouldn't spend 2000 Euros on a drum set. Find a used one for 25% of that and see where you stand. those other drummers sure don't care much about music if they can ridicule, rather than help another drummer. Good luck.
The school also provides it's students the instruments for them to practice and that's how I learned to play. That's why I need my own drum kit if I want to get serious about pursuing a musical career. I can't depend on the school forever, nor I want to look like a underdog who doesn't even has his kit. Also, it will be my OWN kit, set the way I want, customized the way I want, and not the way other people want, like it has always been.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Spoiler View Post
Hey Loseless,
I think some of the problem is that you are so down on yourself, you make it easy for others to ridicule.
Remember why you play drums; you love the sound, the feel, the buzz!
If you can, as you say, remember the music really easily, then just relax and play. Don`t worry about smiling or what other musos think. Remember that it is the audience that matters and if you play to the crowd and fit with the band, that is all they really care about.
When you learn to appreciate your own skills and abilities, you will find it easier to accept "constructive" criticism and ignore "petty" mindedness.
Be the best you can be and enjoy it!!!
You're right. I got into drums when I began to listen to Black Sabbath and such bands. The power their music had, the rush it gave me down my spine, the thrill it caused, music helped me in a time when I had lost much in life and I own music more than I could ever repay. That's maybe why I might sound arrogant and egocentric, but I want to be good enough so I can honor the musicians who created the songs, not just rip them and twist them, stripping it of it's emotion and feeling in the process like I see many musicians do. They mold the musics to their needs and I think that musicians should mold themselves to the songs they play.

I raised the bar a lot when I started playing. Maybe because I was always told I had potential, or because I wanted to play the best bands (when I first heard Rush I fell in love instantly).


Quote:
Originally Posted by Pollyanna View Post
Playing easy tunes (as long as they are good ones) is one of the joys of life. You can just relax into the groove and you have the time and space to add a ton of feel.

Forget about being impressive and you'll find more people will be impressed. If you play those leftover songs beautifully, then they will let you play more advanced tunes. Yu are clearly expected to show that you have the easy ones under control before they let you loose on the more challenging material.

Think of Steve Gadd, one of the greats. He says he never feels as though he's above a song, and he always tries to live up to the music - to do it justice.

I know young guys can be pretty competitive, but if you let all that crap wash over you people you will be glad you did when you look back on that time later in life.

Trust me. I'm old :)
I truly need to worry less about what other musicians think and more about what people think. Some of the musicians I know do that, suck, and yet, the people really likes them. Not that I want to suck but I want both people and musicians to enjoy and like the things I play.

Quote:
Originally Posted by makinao View Post
I hate to say this, but beneath your alleged lack of self-confidence, you might also have to rein in your ego. Are you playing music because you want to prove how much better than you are than others, or are you playing because you love music?

I played in my university big band. There were three drummers. Two of them were music majors, and I was taking broadcasting, which means I was like an outsider. Early in the school year, there were lots of pieces I wanted to play, which I thought I could do a better job at than the other drummers. But I shrugged off these thoughts because I realized my ego was getting in the way. So I learned to appreciate every chance to play, no matter what they gave me. And I learned to love all the pieces I was given. I never dissed the other drummers, and eventually got on very well with them and all the other musicians.

About not having a drum set..... after I graduated, a new trio of drummers replaced us in the big band. Two of them were monster musicians who came with a reputation, and blew me away when I first heard them. They did not own their own drum set until they turned pro a couple of years later. They had to take turns on the beat-up school drum set to practice. About 5 years later, they were considered among the best drummers in my country.

So get over your frustrations. But more important control your ego. Be thankful that you get a chance to play. And if its true that musicians outside your school think you are cool, then it will just be a matter of time before they call you for gigs.
I try to be better than some musicians because the murder the songs they play and I won't ever do that. I don't want to ruin a song just because I'm too lazy to learn and study it or improve my playing, that cowardice and laziness. I prefer to die trying than live being like them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrewBillfold View Post
I don't quite get your situation, Loseless. What are you referring to with the idea of "expressing yourself"? Are you saying that musically you can't play what you want to play, or something else? At some points it sounds like you're referring to talking about music (or even just talking in general), and at some points it sounds like you're referring to showing emotion withn your body language or something. Can you clarify what you had in mind?
I meant showing emotion, groove, feeling. I'm sorry for my poor English, I'll pay more attention to what I say in the future.

[quote=BrewBillfoldAlso, it sounds to me like one of the primary things you're looking for is the praise or at least "good job"-style recognition of others. Although that's certainly a common, at least partial, motivation for going into arts and entertainment fields, I personally do not believe it's a good reason for getting into the fields, as you're likely to receive just as much rejection and negative criticism as acceptance and praise. That's true even if you were to become famous and be financially successful.[/quote]

It's not so much the good job (no one at the school ever said that to me and it didn't bothered me, I think), it's the being ignored that hurts. I get there, they say hello, I say hello and then I help them setting up the PA and the back-line in order, mount the drum kit (one of the drummers who rotates in the band is too lazy to do it himself). At the middle of the show they call me to play, and after I play, I only speak with them again to say goodbye after when stored all the gear and material at the school. They really don't seem to care if I play or not, but when the kids play, they are nice to them and friendly and always compliment their playing (even if they messed up).

It gets frustrating, no matter how much I try and improve, they always treat me the same way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrewBillfoldI believe that one should get into arts and entertainment fields only because one basically can [i
not[/i] be happy or satisfied without creating the stuff in question (like playing drums in this case). That's not to say I'm one of those "it shouldn't be for money" folks. It's rather that it's way too tough of a business to bother with if it's not the case that you'd need to do it regardless of what else might be going on, regardless of whether you're making any money, or receiving any praise from it, etc. If you need to do it, then anything additional you get from it is just gravy--the fact that you are doing it is sufficient to satisfy the drive. If someone were just looking for money, or praise, or whatever, there are far easier and more consistent ways to acquire it than getting into an arts or entertainment industry.
I'm not in it for the money. Of course I would like to be good enough so I could make my living out of music alone, but if I earn enough to cover the expenses of the gear, I'll be happy with it. I like playing and it's great to be in front of a crowd that cheers and applauds after every song.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrewBillfoldRe "having no feeling when playing (or even listening) to music", if there [i
are[/i] times when playing or listening to music emotionally affects you, then it would probably just be a case of being temporarily burned out on it. Sometimes that arises from immersing oneself in it for a long period of time, and sometimes you need a break.

I've taken breaks from drumming--quite long breaks a couple times, as I also play other instruments and have had periods where I concentrated on those much more. I've been on the road gigging on other instruments and not even had much of a chance to play drums if I wanted to, for example.

I've even taken long breaks from music altogether a few times over the years. At one point, I went about six months not only not performing or writing any music, but not even really listening to any music. I was more immersed in other things at the time, and music wasn't doing much for me emotionally for whatever reason . . . it was starting to all sound pretty bland.

In the end, the break did me a tremendous amount of good, as when I started listening to and playing music again afterwards, it seemed as if I were experiencing it as freshly as when I was a very young kid. I got that excited about it again. So now, when I've got breaks professionally--and I make sure to schedule some now, I'll occasionally try to not listen to any music for at least a week or two, since that helps me come back to it with fresh ears again.

However, if playing music has never given rise to emotional reactions for you, I can't see any reason to pursue it professionally. Do something that you're more interested in, that arises passions in you, instead (and if nothing fits that bill, it's worth checking out if you might not have "clinical depression").
Music has provided me with the best emotions I felt in many years. No matter how hard things are, when the songs play, everything goes away, and I'm left alone in my own little world. Maybe the reason why I can't express that live is because I always have people who affect my little world, so it's not peaceful and quiet as I like it.


[quote=BrewBillfoldI'm also confused about your comments about school. It sounds like you're referring to a music school, but it wouldn't be the case that you're in music school but just not playing at all.

Also, if you don't have a drum kit, I'm just curious whose kit you had been learning and playing on.

You play with the school's band at a bar?? That sounds odd. "The better drummers solo the night"??? That sentence makes no sense to me. And then you bring up "expressing yourself" again, where I don't know what you'd be referring to--playing? Talking? What?[/QUOTE]

The first part I answered above. Regarding the second, the band is composed normal of the singer (who also plays bass and guitar, he's the master of the school), a bassist and/or a guitar player (sometimes only one can go) and a drummer (there are two drummers who alternate). When I said solo the night, I meant that they were the assigned drummer for that night, and the others who played, were like guests.

4 years ago, the school had money problems and the master had the idea of forming a band to play at a local bar every weak to earn some cash to pay the bills. The idea was that the band would be composed of students, and many people who ended playing with the band were indeed students who turned who good musicians. On the drums, only one drummer managed to get to play, because the first drummer hated that other drummers would play in his place. Those two are the ones who still play nowadays.

Quote:
Originally Posted by larryace View Post
This is it right here.

Welcome to the forum. It sounds like you have a tough row to hoe without parents and financing your own education. You should be way proud of the fact that without parental help, you are going for it and doing it. You should be giving yourself a ton of credit!
Credit you say? I had to abandon school because I couldn't even afford the books. I'm now 4 years behind in school, how can I be happy about that? I had to start working as administrator to a huge site just to pay the bills, work as a freelancer writer for a local newspaper to pay for the studies, create a blog with some articles and chronics to get extra money and I'm be working in part-time in a social services institution in a few weeks. I do so much crap that I don't even know what is like to stay 2 days in bed... The drums kill the rest of my spare time, although I don't regret any second spent.

Quote:
Originally Posted by larryace View Post
Everything you described is all in your head. You are your own biggest obstacle. Get out of your own way and allow yourself to move forward.

Confidence and self esteem are 2 of the very best things to strive for. I wouldn't concentrate on the drumming aspect, I would concentrate on the personal confidence aspect. That will automatically carry over into your playing, and every other area of your life. People can smell underconfidence and low self esteem a kilometer away and will eat you alive, suck your juices and spit you out. And it all stems from within yourself, you can't blame others.

The only thing that has ever made me truly happy or genuinely confident in myself.....

Is my own accomplishments and dogged detgermination.

Work on your confidence, and your life will magically start to fall into place. Develop a plan. Know where you are going. Fake it till you make it. Start saying confident things, even if you don't feel them yet, it will come with time and conditioning. People like to be around others who are confident. Women like confident men, they feel secure and protected, men like confident men so they can have someone to emulate.

An unconfident man doesn't get the girl, the gig, the good stuff.

So what's it gonna be???
Your right, I don't have confidence. I try to avoid looking secure and confident because they say that I'm being overconfident and call me arrogant, saying that I suck and will never be a drummer, so I try to keep a low profile to avoid any comments at all.


In the end its just frustrating... The master was like a second father to me when I attended the school for the first time, 3 and half years ago. In the next years summer, he said he would put me working as a rowdy for his gig ban (a very successful gig ban in the region). He never did, putting instead a guy who had rich parents and already had 3 drums. He also told me that he would get me a place at a summer animation program, as a lights technician, instead the put the same guy on it. By that time, he started to let everybody at school play live and always forgot about me, for about a month. I had to say another years away from school because I didn't had any money, were being left out of everything the school band did and was lied to again, and again... I gave up drumming, for more than a year.

In march this year, I decided to go back and I couldn't play the easiest of things anymore. I had to start from the beginning and work like crazy. Even today I'm still not as fast as I was, but I'll get there.

I hate when people lie to me, don't treat me justly of spit in all the help I give them. I was one of the few people in the school who always helped him and was always ready to do it. I lost the count of how many times I assembled the whole PA and backline (4 tops, 4 subs, drum kit, amps, etc) to his gig band and I received thanks by all the members except from him who would yell if anything wasn't done right. Plus, when other people did it, they would get paid. I was lucky if they'd buy me dinner because I didn't had time to eat.


I think that as long as I stay in that place, those memories will always hunt me, and that's why I can't feel good playing with them. I won't be offended if you recommend me a shrink.



Again, thank you so much for your help, I truly appreciate if from the bottom of my heart. Thank you very much.
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