Compromising in a band?

csBlaZe · #1 06-09-2008, 08:26 PM

So... first band... first time playing for someone else.... first time wondering if this is for me.

I just got in a band... hard rock/metal.... becuase the lead guitar of the band saw me play and thought I was good. I go and play with them for the first time and its all good... 2nd time i'm getting sort of bored with the constant punkish/System of a Down style of drumming... and now they want me to learn double-bass. Thing is, I have no interest in playing double-bass. Its not really my style... metal blast beats arent the kind of thing I want to play all the time. I like the Dave Grohl, Jimmy Chamberlin rock kind of stuff, and also enjoy funk.... so all metal, all the time is not only killing my stamina (another thing I don't know how to work on, becuase I get tired after like 3 of their songs), but making me wonder if I should compromise my style and what I want to really focus on.

I dunno... first band i'm in. Am I thinking selfishly or should I not compromise my style and what I really want to get good at for a specific style my band wants?

Dont get me wrong, these guys are good. For example, they like to play Racer X/Metallica stuff, but like I said, thats not really my thing. I don't like doing crazy fast grooves and triplet fills all the time, and the problem is thats what they want.

Anyone got anything to say about this situation?

mrchattr · #2 06-09-2008, 08:30 PM

Compromising in a band is essential to having a band succeed. With that said, this seems to be a little TOO much compromise. It's one thing to have to play a song that you don't like, or to have a songwriter ask you to change what you play on one of his songs...it's another thing entirely to be in a band you don't like, playing in a way you hate. I would politely bow out, and look for something more along the lines of the style you like to play.

Like I said, you have to be willing to compromise in a band. My one band, a modern rock cover band, plays "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne every night. I HATE that song. But it gets the crowd going, girls dancing, and it's our singer's favorite song right now. So, no problem. We play it, I shudder, and we move on.

If I was in a band that played 3 hours of Girlfriend, however, I would bail.

#3 06-09-2008, 08:39 PM

I've auditioned for and passed with bands that turned out to be a bad fit for me. So I respectfully backed out. It happens.
One band, everything was "David Garibaldi, David Garibaldi." Not exactly my style, certainly not each and every tune. A cover band, they were. So I bailed, respecfully and professionally, of course.
To get work, though, you'll need to be able to play a lot of different styles.

harryconway · #4 06-09-2008, 08:49 PM

Bow out now before you invest "more" of your time into the project. It's a style conflict. No harm, no foul. Just tell them "it's not your bag". Wanting you to play "double-bass". Yeah, suggest to the guitar player that he should buy a double-neck guitar, so you guys can do "The Song Remains The Same".

fixxxer · #5 06-09-2008, 08:50 PM

Normally, I would suggest that you not comprise yourself if you truely don't like that particular style of music. But, being that this is your first band I guess you have to ask yourself if you want to hang in there just for the experience.
I don't think that it is selfish to want to play what is right for you. However, it's been my experience playing with different people that you always have to compromise from time to time and play things that you don't really like so that everybody "gets their fix".
But, it sounds as if you are referring to a genre issue in your situation. I can honestly say that if someone wanted me to play rap beats all the time, I just couldn't do it! (No offense to the "hip-hoppers" out there.)
Good Luck!

The Keith Moon · #6 06-09-2008, 10:25 PM

If I dont enjoy what I play, I would back out. However if I dont back out and continue playing with them learning double bass and such , finally I would learn to play double bass. But,,, If I dont enjoy playing double bass, whats the point in learning double bass.

It is not a crime to back out from something that you dont enjoy and play with a band with the style you like.

my 2 cents.

Ironcobra · #7 06-09-2008, 11:13 PM

The band I play with right now isn't really my style. I've already told everyone that ultimately, we won't be going anywhere with me as the drummer, but I enjoy the learning experience and the different genre at the moment. If it's really bugging you, get some drumless tracks and make a headphone band! That's my favorite time to be a drummer.

zambizzi · #8 06-09-2008, 11:21 PM

If you're not enjoying yourself, don't do it, simple as that.

Steady Freddy · #9 06-09-2008, 11:49 PM

As others have said, playing a couple of tunes that you're not into is one thing. Playing a stye that you're not into is another thing. If you're bothered by it now, think about how it will be in a few months.

I was playing with some guys for a few months and just hated it. In the end I left, and didn't miss it one bit. If anything, it reminded me of why I left the music biz in thy 70s. Didn't end very pretty either.

Being it a band can be a challenge when every thing gels.

Time to say good bye.

zambizzi · #10 06-09-2008, 11:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steady Freddy

I was playing with some guys for a few months and just hated it. In the end I left, and didn't miss it one bit. If anything, it reminded me of why I left the music biz in thy 70s. Didn't end very pretty either.

I guess I should follow my own advice - I'm sort of in a situation like this now. I like playing w/ everyone in the band but the bandleader himself and find myself wanting to cancel more often than not. Problem is; I'm just getting started in another project w/ two of the band members from that band...and I don't want to blow that, either.

In my case it's a personality conflict rather than a musical problem...I love the music.

Geeze, and I thought marriage was tough!

Steady Freddy · #11 06-10-2008, 12:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zambizzi

Geeze, and I thought marriage was tough!

Marriage is a cake walk. Being in a band is like having several wives. Ah, several wives on PMS. There are times when things will go really well, but if there is friction early on, it won't get any better.

The only recent band I was in had two grooves. Four on the floor and and a slow samba kind of thing. It was friggin boring. I told the guys up front it wasn't for me, but they asked me to stay on and they'd be playing some different styles. I told them I give it a try for a couple of months. Didn't happen.

At the last practice with these guys I got a little tempermental and told them it just wasn't working out. The bass player starts yelling at me and basically said if I did't like it to pack it up.

I started spinning wing nuts.

xdeadxboltx · #12 06-10-2008, 03:00 AM

theres no such thing as having too broad of a knowledge of the musical spectrum that is "style". what makes a good drummer his having good feel for one, if not multiple styles.
try and see the goodness in the kind of music they want you to play. or at least in the drumming of that music. i was in a similar situation a few months ago. i owed a friend a favor and he asked me to play for his metal band (keep in mind one of my predominate styles is jazz, though i play plenty of rock, punk, ect.) and i had never actually tried to learn hwo to use a double bass pedal in the past. however, i embraced it, and believe it or not i enjoyed it.
just go for the learning experience. its almost like learning how to play multiple instruments, its just broadening your musical prowess. and dont forget that your not limited to one band. im in 3 or four right now depending on how you look at it, playing guitar in one. look for other players who are interested in playing something a little softer

aydee · #13 06-10-2008, 05:22 AM

Tough one, CSblaze... I'm not sure what I'd do. First band....hmmmmmm

Part of me says dont do anything that fights, or goes against the grain of who you are as a musician.

The other part says, 1st band , new experience, new style.. maybe I should learn it first before I reject it.. might help me discover myself...

.hmmmmmmmmm..........

Ozzy Biz · #14 06-10-2008, 05:49 AM

I've been in that situation before, but the band wasn't exactly in a situation to go anywhere. i didn't learn double kick, I can play short bursts or med pace straight stuff, but had no desire to 'learn' to play it well.

The only song that really makes me want to go buy a double pedal is Van Halen's Hot For Teacher. THAT is some cool shit. Straight fugga dugga isn't.

...and remember, Nicko doesn't use a double pedal so metal doesn't necessarily need one. Check out JP Gaster from Clutch, who I feel is the best heavy rock drummer going around today. Single kick, and he slams harder and more tastefully then anyone else going around.

DamoSyzygy · #15 06-10-2008, 06:08 AM

If you compromise because you dont like the music, Id counter by saying its a good idea to dive into some less than favourable styles as it teaches you discipline and can help you find a new appreciation for the style.

If youre compromising because you feel the other players are holding you back, then move on straight away.

m1ck · #16 06-10-2008, 06:08 AM

Compromise, sell your soul, and think of nothing but how you're gonna spend the money once you're HUGE! You're a rockstar, man!

Actually, if it's your first band, I'd hang with it as long as you can stand it. Metal might broaden your perspective later on. Pay attention to what actually moves people at a metal gig, if you get to play some. It's not just noise.

Other than style, how are the personalities?

csBlaZe · #17 06-10-2008, 06:57 AM

all the guys in the band are really cool. We all get along well. I guess I'll stick with it. Like most of you guys first band and new experience so it won't hurt to go with the flow. My other prob is stamina. How do I get to the point where I'm not stiffening up after the first song we play? That's another big problem! Btw I'm typing on my ipodtouch LOL

byronand · #18 06-10-2008, 07:00 AM

Time spent doing what you don't want = time gone forever that you could have spent doing what you do want.

That's not to suggest that we can't learn things from doing what we don't want to do, or from stretching our boundaries, etc.

But, for example, if you want to be a kick-a!@ funk player, you don't need to spend time learning to play polkas.

zambizzi · #19 06-10-2008, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by byronand

Time spent doing what you don't want = time gone forever that you could have spent doing what you do want.

Amen! Couldn't have said it better myself.

Others have a good point about "broadening horizons" and such, however if he's not enjoying himself making music, then what exactly is the point? It goes beyond discipline at that point.

Also look at it this way; if you're aspiring to play (and master) "softer" forms of music, metal might be a poor influence to at least a small degree, and it might take more work and re-training to play those other styles well. Maybe not...I'm just putting myself in your shoes.

mrchattr · #20 06-10-2008, 04:49 PM

I agree with a lot of the people who said it's good to broaden your horizons, but I don't agree that it's good to do it as your main band. Sure, I've done stuff like that (played pick up gigs with a polka band, played speed-punk once on a recording when the band's drummer couldn't handle some of the tunes, etc), but not as a main musical focus. I'm all for doing anything that will help you become a better overall musician, and broaden your playing as much as possible...but, with that said, I think if you make the main focus of your playing something that you don't love, you run the risk of falling out of love with playing, practicing, etc.

It's kind of like when I play (most) musicals. Right now, I'm playing The Mikado, which is more triangle than anything else. It's great, because it's paid, I get to practice reading and counting and playing in an orchestra again, etc. But playing classical percussion in an operetta is NOT my idea of a good time...I would really hate to make it my full-time, main playing occupation. It's a great side-gig, but I would not be there if it was my only/main playing.

m1ck · #21 06-12-2008, 06:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zambizzi

... Others have a good point about "broadening horizons" and such, however if he's not enjoying himself making music, then what exactly is the point? ...

He's just relating his First Band experience, and he said nothing to indicate that he has all sorts of other options lined up if this doesn't pan out.

If his immediate options are to do this thing or play what he likes better by himself, I think he'd be better off extracting everything he can from this experience.

And I also happen to like metal, so I'm biased. I am playing the part of the devil, sitting in miniature on his shoulder, whispering: "Look deeper. Listen. HA hahahah!"