DRUMMERWORLD OFFICIAL DISCUSSION FORUM   

Go Back   DRUMMERWORLD OFFICIAL DISCUSSION FORUM > General Discussion

General Discussion General discussion forum for all drum related topics. Use this forum to exchange ideas and information with your fellow drummers.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  #1  
Old 05-26-2017, 08:28 PM
Galaxy Galaxy is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 103
Default I got kicked out of/quit the band

I got back into playing a year and a half ago when a friend asked me to come replace their first drummer. Over this year and a half we have gone in a constant circle of focusing on live shows (my first and really only priority), Recording, and writing original material. Once we would get close to say, tracking out a song, we would get the drums and guitar done and then.....no more progress. We had a set of 5 songs down last year and even played for the 10 drunk people left at a party, then nothing. I asked again 3-4 months ago if anyone had an issue with playing a show on June 9th and the consensus was of course not,we should be able to pull that off with no issue!

Well, week before last, during the actual running through of the songs at practice with everyone, the lead guitarist casually announces he no longer feels like playing the 3rd best song we have because " I'm not feeling it". No other reason. My response was "at this rate we will be down to two songs by the end of the year". This would be the third song to get cut and the first we were all in agreeance on and the second was I wasn't thrilled about but didn't have a choice while this one just pissed me off.

I let them know the afternoon of practice that I would not be there that week and I gave no reason. I planned to go all week but when I got up that day I could not get my attitude in the right place and figured it would be back in the right place the next week. The next morning the lead guitar player had a fit on facebook (private group for the band) and said he's not a storage facility and if I didn't want to be in the band to not be in it. I told him that was not a discussion for facebook and we could talk about it Friday. Friday was not soon enough for him and I had no time otherwise so.... I told him to un-mic my shit and he put in on his porch the next day.

One of his cited reasons was me being late constantly. I was there to set up before anyone else most times, and we did not have a set weekly time because the vocals/rhythm guitarist had the least consistent schedule and it was different every week then he would show up for a very short amount of time some days. The other one was me missing multiple changes in a song every practice. This one I agreed with completely and told him as long as we keep playing a song one time through and moving on regardless of if there were fuckups or it was tight, that he could keep expecting those same results. I would fuck up a part or question a part and get clarification but when I would say "lets do it again" he would not listen and move on to the next song. I probably could've done a better job of learning those couple changes but but it was getting there. He would fuck up the riff on our oldest song almost every time we came back to it for the end of the song and I never said anything because I felt eventually he would tighten it up. I mentioned that during his facebook meltdown and he blamed me for insisting we keep the song the same when they changed tuning a year ago and that that made it harder to play.... this fuckin guy....haha.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 05-26-2017, 08:54 PM
bermuda's Avatar
bermuda bermuda is offline
Drummerworld Pro Drummer - Administrator
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 8,502
Default Re: I got kicked out of/quit the band

Good riddance to band rubbish!

There are too many players out there to settle for ones who won't make some effort. You'll land somewhere else, and they'll still be doing what they do.
__________________
DrumDoug: "I've tried talking to the guys about our stage volume, but it just falls on deaf ears"
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-26-2017, 09:12 PM
hippy chip's Avatar
hippy chip hippy chip is offline
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 550
Default Re: I got kicked out of/quit the band

This guy sounds like a real tool, but the one that really made me laugh was blaming you for problems with a tuning change---WTF does that have to do with the drums
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-27-2017, 12:35 AM
The SunDog
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: I got kicked out of/quit the band

Extrapolate on what you've learned here. Someone in this band didn't want to play shows or finish recordings. Instead of being direct about it though, they chose a passive/aggressive route. By dragging their feet they effectively dulled any spark and stalled any progress. They made you lose your temper and quit, and now they can blame you for having to cancel a show. This guy found a way to get you to do his work for him. End result is he doesn't play a show that he never wanted to in the first place and you get the blame. You need to learn to recognise this type of player more quickly and then give them a wide berth. Don't beat yourself up, you have done the right thing by moving on. Just don't waste a year and a half of you're life the next time you find yourself in a band with one of these jokers.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-27-2017, 02:25 AM
Masheanhed's Avatar
Masheanhed Masheanhed is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Southern US
Posts: 432
Default Re: I got kicked out of/quit the band

Quote:
Originally Posted by The SunDog View Post
Extrapolate on what you've learned here. Someone in this band didn't want to play shows or finish recordings. Instead of being direct about it though, they chose a passive/aggressive route. By dragging their feet they effectively dulled any spark and stalled any progress. They made you lose your temper and quit, and now they can blame you for having to cancel a show. This guy found a way to get you to do his work for him. End result is he doesn't play a show that he never wanted to in the first place and you get the blame.
EXACTLY! I attempted to play off and on for a few years with a guy who was a very good guitar player, had a great practice pad, overall a nice person, and was gung ho to get something together...until it came together. Slowly people came and went because they got tired of his passive aggressive crap. I was an idiot for putting up with it, which I did because in theory we both did not want to gig every week and we both worked odd schedules. When a possible gig was mentioned he pulled out every reason not to play. If he ran onto a possible gig, he'd wait until the time had passed, never mentioning it to us, and then say "I didn't think you guys would want to play it". If you asked him about playing a solo, he sheepishly shrugged and waved it off. When the other player took a solo, then he'd comment later he was being played over. We slowly knew less and less songs as time went on. By the second month we had 20 songs worked up. In a year we could barely do ten because he "forgot how that went". I kick myself for wasting time with it all.
__________________
Sonor Force 2001
Various other cheap drumsets
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-27-2017, 03:33 PM
beyondbetrayal beyondbetrayal is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: canada
Posts: 1,656
Default Re: I got kicked out of/quit the band

I play in 2 bands and we do tons live gigs, shows, etc.

I am in these bands for 1 reason. Fun.

We take it serious, and there is the odd disagreement but we talk them out like adults. I have been in bands where people do things like this, try and control the whole thing even though we are all equals, or freak out at mistakes. As you can see I am no longer a part of that poison.

I get wanting to get better and not make mistakes, but if you do your practice the band should be willing to work out a song a few tims to get past those transitions. Playing it one time and moving on is rehearsal, not practice.

Being the drummer I have about 7 amps in my basement and a PA. Everyone uses my house, my power, my washroom, my glassware for their drinks. I never complain about being a storage unit. I HAVE mentioned the guys put their cups in the dishwasher and don't leave coffee cups and beer cans lying around though. (seems reasonable to me)

I love to make music, those few bands I joined years back almost took that away when I was dreading jamming and wanting to avoid it. It is a terrible feeling to have. Find a new band with good people. I can't wait to get behind the kit and laugh with my friends every time we play. Heck we are are the point we usually laugh at practice when someone screws up bad. And we keep hammering out a song until we know it will be perfect at a live gig.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 05-27-2017, 04:42 PM
Galaxy Galaxy is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 103
Default Re: I got kicked out of/quit the band

Quote:
Originally Posted by hippy chip View Post
This guy sounds like a real tool, but the one that really made me laugh was blaming you for problems with a tuning change---WTF does that have to do with the drums
I could've been more clear on that. When he mentioned my mistakes, I told him he fucked that riff up every time and I wasn't bitching at him about it, that tuning change was his defense. It was not his notes that are even the issue, it was his timing of them. They dropped the tuning to drop B to accommodate a 7 string and it made the song sound dull and drained the energy from the riff. I said at the time of the tuning change that I would rather not play it at all if the notes had to drop too so I believe he was still mad about that,haha. Whatever, if it sounds bad, I will say something every time.

As far as the show goes, I was the only one attempting to book it and I never did because I saw the way it was going to go. Lead guitar aside, our rhythm/vocals guy had stage fright and has never done anything like this. All he would talk about is fighting people that might heckle him at a show.

I am a machinist. If a setup you are running is not efficient, you change something in that setup whether is is a line in the program, a way to hold the part, or the operator running it but you sure don't keep running it and expect different results.

When he said it was packed up and ready to go, I knew he screwed up breaking down my rack and sure enough..every damned rack clamp was completely taken apart,haha.

I even brought my own glassware for beer! Haha

I have been in more unsuccessful bands (accomplished nothing) than successful ones (playing shows) so it doesn't bother me. I am actually relieved to not have to deal with that needlessly stressful situation any longer. That week after the ditching of the song I never even played my drums here and I think him causing that feeling of not wanting to play was the worst part. Hell no you are not going to steal my motivation with that. I have gotten way better than I ever was over the last year and I do not plan to stop that progress.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 05-27-2017, 05:45 PM
whiteknightx's Avatar
whiteknightx whiteknightx is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 494
Default Re: I got kicked out of/quit the band

I've met guys that are afraid to play, but won't admit it. Always some new excuse that the band isn't ready. Move on and don't look back.
__________________
Ayotte Drumsmith 6 pc, Sabian HHX Evolution cymbals
Yamaha DTX950K
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 05-31-2017, 01:44 AM
SmoothOperator SmoothOperator is offline
Gold Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 1,070
Default Re: I got kicked out of/quit the band

Quote:
Originally Posted by The SunDog View Post
Extrapolate on what you've learned here. Someone in this band didn't want to play shows or finish recordings. Instead of being direct about it though, they chose a passive/aggressive route. By dragging their feet they effectively dulled any spark and stalled any progress. They made you lose your temper and quit, and now they can blame you for having to cancel a show. This guy found a way to get you to do his work for him. End result is he doesn't play a show that he never wanted to in the first place and you get the blame. You need to learn to recognise this type of player more quickly and then give them a wide berth. Don't beat yourself up, you have done the right thing by moving on. Just don't waste a year and a half of you're life the next time you find yourself in a band with one of these jokers.
Yep, on to bigger and better things. It's hard to figure out this behavior, but it's probably a combination of laziness, lack of competence and jealousy.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 05-31-2017, 01:28 PM
Galaxy Galaxy is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 103
Default Re: I got kicked out of/quit the band

I have found another guitar player to work with and he wants to do live shows more than anything too so we are going to try to get together twice a week and see what we come up with. He is also a bit more skilled than the last guy.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 05-31-2017, 01:37 PM
eclipseownzu's Avatar
eclipseownzu eclipseownzu is offline
Gold Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New London, CT
Posts: 1,391
Default Re: I got kicked out of/quit the band

Dont lose hope. I have been playing in bands for over 20 years (guitar and drums) and at 43 years old I finally have a band that will will actually play any gig, any where. It is really hard to get 4 or 5 guys on the same page, there are always 1 or 2 who cant seem to get on board with everybody else. I think its why so many power trios are popular. The fewer personalities in a band the better. Hopefully you realize that is lesson is not to waste your time. If you pay attention you will be able to figure out pretty quickly what the actual trajectory of the band is. If it doesnt meet your expectations move on. There are a lot of bands out there.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 05-31-2017, 05:36 PM
PorkPieGuy's Avatar
PorkPieGuy PorkPieGuy is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 1,841
Default Re: I got kicked out of/quit the band

Quote:
Originally Posted by eclipseownzu View Post
I think its why so many power trios are popular. The fewer personalities in a band the better.
Yup, I'm playing with two other guys right now. My problem is that they are brothers (twins), and they prioritize hunting and fishing trips over playing music. :)

They are good guys, so I can't complain too much.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 05-31-2017, 06:00 PM
Woolwich Woolwich is offline
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 519
Default Re: I got kicked out of/quit the band

Quote:
Originally Posted by eclipseownzu View Post
Dont lose hope. I have been playing in bands for over 20 years (guitar and drums) and at 43 years old I finally have a band that will will actually play any gig, any where. It is really hard to get 4 or 5 guys on the same page, there are always 1 or 2 who cant seem to get on board with everybody else. I think its why so many power trios are popular. The fewer personalities in a band the better. Hopefully you realize that is lesson is not to waste your time. If you pay attention you will be able to figure out pretty quickly what the actual trajectory of the band is. If it doesnt meet your expectations move on. There are a lot of bands out there.
One of my current bands is a 4 piece, all 4 of us were in the same 5 piece band for years. When the bass player got this band together I was in at the start, we realised that the only man for the guitar job was our old band mate, and the same went for the singer too although he now also handles guitar duties in all but a couple of songs. Admittedly there was a big personality clash in the last band with the 5th member who was never in the frame for this band, but less people does make for less opportunity for conflict and far easier diary synchronisation too.
If at some point in the future one of my bands bites the dust and I'm at a loose end I'd definitely consider going down the trio route.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 05-31-2017, 07:20 PM
pgm554's Avatar
pgm554 pgm554 is offline
Gold Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 1,359
Default Re: I got kicked out of/quit the band

Back in the day SF/Berkeley had pretty neat live music places named the Pasand Lounge.

I used to jam with the bass player (Curtis Ohlson played with Buddy Rich) who was a member of the house band.

I saw him in Berkeley one afternoon and asked why he didn't play there anymore.

To which he replied I won't play there until they take back what they said about me.

And I said what was that?

You're fired.
__________________
Pearl MCX Gretsch Renown and many many Fibes snares.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 06-01-2017, 02:04 AM
SmoothOperator SmoothOperator is offline
Gold Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 1,070
Default Re: I got kicked out of/quit the band

Quote:
Originally Posted by PorkPieGuy View Post
Yup, I'm playing with two other guys right now. My problem is that they are brothers (twins), and they prioritize hunting and fishing trips over playing music. :)

They are good guys, so I can't complain too much.
It's hard to beat hunting and fishing. You could try adding some animal calls.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are Off
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off




All times are GMT +2. The time now is 01:28 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Bernhard Castiglioni's DRUMMERWORLD.com