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Old 03-05-2017, 05:34 PM
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Default Band significant others!

Freaking yoko ono bi+€h $&@$%+#%. Really. Really.

Sorry had to get that off my chest, feel a little better now. Feel free to delete this thread. Anyone know a good lead guitar player.
  #2  
Old 03-05-2017, 05:38 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

Did Yoko steal your rhythm guitar player too.? She does get around.
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  #3  
Old 03-05-2017, 06:16 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

We practice 2x per month and play 12-16 gigs a year and that's too much time. He got the "me or them" choice. For what it's worth we are in our 50s not teens.
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Old 03-05-2017, 06:25 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

Historical correction. Yoko never 'stole John', she inserted herself in the Beatles circle, at the desire of John to do so. He was clearly enamoured with and needed her presence, all the time. So no need to blame Yoko. And Paul ended the Beatles, though George wanted a divorce long before that.

In the 'me or them' my guess is band loses.
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Old 03-05-2017, 08:43 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

Yeah, Yoko got in, didn't get him out.

Spouses inside the band shouldn't be a problem unless one has deeper relationship issues.

Without knowing the situation, a partner doesn't support one's passion.... Unless there are other real important priorities in the way....
Personal choice, but life's too short.
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Old 03-05-2017, 08:54 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

I am still at a loss as to what the OP is on about?
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Old 03-05-2017, 09:00 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

Might fit well in this thread.

Stupid Stuff Your "Spouse" Did Or Tried To Do?

I wonder if she has activities with her female friends that exclude him?
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  #8  
Old 03-05-2017, 09:48 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

Quote:
Originally Posted by opentune View Post
Historical correction. Yoko never 'stole John', she inserted herself in the Beatles circle, at the desire of John to do so. He was clearly enamoured with and needed her presence, all the time. So no need to blame Yoko. And Paul ended the Beatles, though George wanted a divorce long before that.
Yoko? Is that you? 😉
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Old 03-05-2017, 10:01 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

I dated and eventually moved in with the bass player in my band for a year and a half and never had a problem. She was really cool, lucky I guess.
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Old 03-06-2017, 12:19 AM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

This should be discussed within the first 10 minutes of any prospective relationship. How many times have we all witnessed a spousal unit not supporting band efforts? It's so sad.

Ya gotta be a pretty cruddy person to take music away from someone ya pretend to love.

Thank God for my wife.

I wouldn't put up with anyone taking music away from me. As someone before me said - life is too short.
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  #11  
Old 03-06-2017, 02:31 AM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

I had an ex that I wouldn't let come to my gigs because of all the fights and jealousy involved.

Just how jealous would she get?

She actually called the sheriffs department to report that we were doing drugs at our rehearsal studio.

The only thing that saved us was she didn't know the address.
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Last edited by pgm554; 03-06-2017 at 03:47 PM.
  #12  
Old 03-06-2017, 01:46 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

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Originally Posted by pgm554 View Post
I had an ex that I wouldn't let come to my gigs because of all the fights and jealousy involved.

Just how jelous would she get?

She actually called the sheriffs department to report that we were doing drugs at our rehearsal studio.

The only thing that saved us was she didn't know the address.
LMAO - though sadly I can relate.
  #13  
Old 03-06-2017, 02:37 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frank View Post
This should be discussed within the first 10 minutes of any prospective relationship. How many times have we all witnessed a spousal unit not supporting band efforts? It's so sad.

Ya gotta be a pretty cruddy person to take music away from someone ya pretend to love.

Thank God for my wife.

I wouldn't put up with anyone taking music away from me. As someone before me said - life is too short.
Absolutely, my wife understands completely what music means to me and I love her all the more for it.

Of course nothing to do with my wedding band income helping to pay for her horses.......
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Old 03-06-2017, 03:07 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

Dude, I hate this. I'm sort of dealing with this too right now. I've decided to let the other band members take the lead on when they want to practice and play. I'm good either way.

But, I'm really glad I have a day job.
  #15  
Old 03-06-2017, 05:55 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

What would we call women who piss other band members off and break bands up if Yoko hadn't existed. It's an internationally understood warning sign of someone with a psycho missus regardless of historical accuracy.

What would the male equivalent of a Yoko be?

Personally I prefer the Rutles take on it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hI1tdvH2L4U
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  #16  
Old 03-06-2017, 07:23 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

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Originally Posted by mikyok View Post
What would we call women who piss other band members off and break bands up if Yoko hadn't existed.
I've got a couple of names.
  #17  
Old 03-06-2017, 11:29 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

She sounds incredibly selfish, which is incredibly common with band significant others.

Frankly, I lose a lot of respect for a dude who drops music for someone like that. Every time the subject comes up for me, I make it extremely clear that if the choice is "her or music", then my choice is music. Anyone who could take away something so important to me doesn't deserve me.
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  #18  
Old 03-06-2017, 11:52 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

[quote=mikyok;1489069]What would we call women who piss other band members off and break bands up if Yoko hadn't existed. It's an internationally understood warning sign of someone with a psycho missus regardless of historical accuracy.
What would the male equivalent of a Yoko be?

Axyl Rose? Ritchie Blackmore? lol
I don't know, good question.
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  #19  
Old 03-06-2017, 11:54 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

Quote:
Originally Posted by mikyok View Post
What would we call women who piss other band members off and break bands up if Yoko hadn't existed. It's an internationally understood warning sign of someone with a psycho missus regardless of historical accuracy.

What would the male equivalent of a Yoko be?
Axyl Rose? Ritchie Blackmore? lol
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  #20  
Old 03-07-2017, 12:00 AM
moxman moxman is offline
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Default Re: Band significant others!

Not a heavy work schedule.. 12-16 gigs/year and practices 2x a month.

I could see cutting the practices down and replacing them with gigs..
But sounds' like the horse has left the barn.

Usually SO's come out with the 'girls' and have a good time. I think sometimes they do that to keep on eye on things.. but played a gig the other night and none of the SO's could make it.
My bass player called it a 'No-Yoko-night Lol..
  #21  
Old 03-07-2017, 12:50 AM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

If she's bitching about 2 practices a month, there is no hope. Basically 1 gig per month too... Can't get much more reasonable than that.

Sorry, OP, your guitar player needs to grow a pair or you're screwed.
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  #22  
Old 03-07-2017, 01:12 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr_Watso View Post
If she's bitching about 2 practices a month, there is no hope. Basically 1 gig per month too... Can't get much more reasonable than that.

Sorry, OP, your guitar player needs to grow a pair or you're screwed.
It's a tough one though, especially if there are children involved to.

My first wife pretty much slammed down on hobbies I had (including playing drums). So much so that I lost my close friends, and took a 15 year hiatus from the two hobbies I loved, music and a weird game called Advanced Squad Leader.

She also made me move my two dogs out to a new owner. Probably the most painful thing in my life that ever happened to me.

I did it because I feared not doing it would break the family up and that I'd lose the kids. Had there been no kids I'd have probably agreed to sacrifice the drumming...but told her to f*** off when it came to the dogs.

15 years later. The kids got into their teens. I got back into drumming. She got shirty. She tried it again. I was tired of it. I left. She still maintains to this day that I destroyed the family. And she's probably right. I probably did. Because, I COULD have given up drumming again.

My 2nd wife now...couldn't be more supportive. She loves the band and the music and is quite glad to see the back of me three times a year form my war gaming hobby to.

But...my point. A scheming, controlling, wife can really grip you by the short and curlies if she wants to and, if there are kids on the scene, there's a lot of sacrifices you'll make to keep the family unit together. I wish I knew then what I know now. I do consider my first wife thoroughly evil. She even maintained during divorce proceedings that I physically abused her. I have never raised my hands to her or the children. My 15 year old son stuck up for me on this. Even her own parents told her to not be so ridiculous. After three months of her ongoing control methods (including threats to kill herself....so often, that by the end I told her to just get on with it and do it....she didn't) the kids both moved in with me and don't see much of her at all these days.
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  #23  
Old 03-07-2017, 05:42 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

My (3rd) Wife and I have been married now for over ten years. She is VERY supportive of my music, she even helps me set up and break down and load my drums! I would not have married someone who was not, you've got to live and learn what you want in a relationship, and some of what I've read here is quite disturbing. Some women don't like the fact that as musicians, we have other women noticing us and hitting on us. But some women like that, because they know that you are theirs, and the other women can try, but they can't have you. It makes you more of a "catch" to them.....somehow I don't think I could have attracted a Wife like I have now if I just worked a day job and didn't play.....
  #24  
Old 03-07-2017, 06:06 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

The situation between me and my SO is at a point where it really doesn't matter much any longer, for better and for worse, lol. So long as the kids and the dogs are accounted for, it is what it is.

I do play in one band where we have a female lead singer. And her SO has had times where he has gotten jealous about her, and that has caused issues for them (and us, to a degree). Let's face it, any lead singer needs to be engaged and involved with the crowd to really make the show go, especially female lead singers. Our girl is just being a little flirty and such on stage, and was wearing a dress that was, well, a bit on the short side. She's just performing on stage, dude...they seem to have calmed that crap down lately, so I'm hopeful.
  #25  
Old 03-07-2017, 06:39 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr_Watso View Post
She sounds incredibly selfish, which is incredibly common with band significant others.

Frankly, I lose a lot of respect for a dude who drops music for someone like that. Every time the subject comes up for me, I make it extremely clear that if the choice is "her or music", then my choice is music. Anyone who could take away something so important to me doesn't deserve me.
I could not agree more. "Dudes" that let women tell them what to do in my opinion need to grow a pair! I know a lot of players like this though...they need a "Mummy" for a SO to tell them what to do, and in some cases, the women control ALL the money as well! Not in MY house, that's for sure!
  #26  
Old 03-07-2017, 06:53 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

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Originally Posted by funkutron View Post
I could not agree more. "Dudes" that let women tell them what to do in my opinion need to grow a pair! I know a lot of players like this though...they need a "Mummy" for a SO to tell them what to do, and in some cases, the women control ALL the money as well! Not in MY house, that's for sure!
Bit harsh.

Some dudes care about their family and really love their wives mate. And, in some cases, put both before playing drums (as I once did...and probably would do again if it was something my current wife felt I was putting too much time into).

I guess some people think drumming and music is more important than others. I think it's very secondary in my life. I like it. I possibly even love it. But not to the impediment of all else around me.
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  #27  
Old 03-07-2017, 07:05 PM
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Default Re: Band significant others!

Time to wrap up another episode of who do we bash now. Slamming the fair sex behind their backs is a bit one sided. I think we all have our stories and will air them on Facebook. Thanks for playing along.
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