Hello all. I was looking (and hoping) for some support actually. I'm in a very bad funk and feel that the only advice I could handle at this point, would be coming from other fellow drummers that maybe could relate or have been where I am. I'm 44 and have been playing the skins for 30 years. Over my years, I primarily played original music (classic rockish feel) for about 20 of those years. Back in 2005 I finally decided to give that up and now I'm playing in a cover band just for "fun". Since then, I also have been teaching part time at a local music store.
Over all of these years playing in clubs and recording, I've sat back and watched as most drummers I've played along side, BLEW MY DOORS OFF. I've learned a few things from them, but my jealousness seemed to have always gotten the better of me. I've seen others play so much more musically and rythymetically, something I've never heard in my playing. I took private lessons for about 7 years when I started out but I always found myself in those situations asking the same question, "where in the hell did I do wrong in those years? ". It seems the thing I lacked most (and still do) is creativity, which is something that I feel can't be taught. You need to be born with it. Basic two-four crap seems to be the only thing I can ever come up with. I've even listened to other music genera’s over the years thinking that would help with my creativity, but I'm still waiting. Hence, my DEMON #1- lack of creativity.
My current band members in the cover band now consist of one of the only bass players I've ever played with. He's a great guy but like myself, over the years was never solid at time keeping either. Not a great combination. I've always heard off and on about my inconsistent tempos. Directly or indirectly. Whether I played with him or with a different bassist. This is very noticeable in the studio, but even when I've watched myself on video from gigs I've played. Maybe not as noticeable to the "average person", but noticeable to me and to other musicians. In fact, I KNOW it is noticeable to other musicians because of the comments that have been said about me in the past. One of the main comments I overheard was that they felt I was a "second rate" player, and mediocre. I still to this day, play with a metronome and preach that in my teaching. However in my opinion, keeping good time is yet another aspect of drumming that you are either born with or you're not. There is no "in between" or "learning" to keep better time no matter how much you play to a click. (at least for me) Sadly, you either have it or you don't. It's called being a NATURAL. With that being said, that is my DEMON #2 - poor time keeping ability.
My third and last "DEMON" #3 is, and taken in all of the above thus far, I've made the mistake over the last several years of going on You Tube!! This is obviously the best way to learn how to play cover songs and is much easier then in the old days of sitting with a record player or cassette tape, desperately trying to figure out how to play a song in parts where you heard more hiss then anything else. But again, all I find mainly, is myself getting frustrated and jealous. All I come across is young kids, teens and sometimes younger, playing parts that I never would have thought of, and some parts, that I can't even physically play......
I find myself continuingly growing more and more depressed. I've been seriously thinking now of just giving up and selling all of my gear. I've had some great memories and experiences, but I can't seem to shake my demons. So maybe now is the time to quit and just stop torturing myself? As much as I've tried, I never really felt like a "drummer", rather, just a person who likes to play and that was just not born with the natural gift. I'm also at the point that I do not feel qualified to even teach. I know the thought sometimes is "bad players sometimes make good teachers" but when I can't play that "new lick" that even a teenager can play, that gets verify F$#king frustrating and old eventually.
So as you can all see, I have major mental issues that are NOT getting any better as well as, I'm also not physically being capable of playing things that I feel I should be able to play considering my years of playing and experience. I've never had much confidence in myself to begin with, which is well a part of my issues. I'm married with kids and have a full time job on top of my part time teaching job. So my practicing routine is limited now. However, I've proven to myself that even in the past when I did have the time and always played (for hours on end) that it didn't make much difference anyway. It only really gave me stamina. (oh, which I now battle as well on top of this other crap due to my limited time.. Doh!) My apologies for the long-winded novel, but I do not know where to go from here.......
Drumer12b (aka drummer wanna be)
Over all of these years playing in clubs and recording, I've sat back and watched as most drummers I've played along side, BLEW MY DOORS OFF. I've learned a few things from them, but my jealousness seemed to have always gotten the better of me. I've seen others play so much more musically and rythymetically, something I've never heard in my playing. I took private lessons for about 7 years when I started out but I always found myself in those situations asking the same question, "where in the hell did I do wrong in those years? ". It seems the thing I lacked most (and still do) is creativity, which is something that I feel can't be taught. You need to be born with it. Basic two-four crap seems to be the only thing I can ever come up with. I've even listened to other music genera’s over the years thinking that would help with my creativity, but I'm still waiting. Hence, my DEMON #1- lack of creativity.
My current band members in the cover band now consist of one of the only bass players I've ever played with. He's a great guy but like myself, over the years was never solid at time keeping either. Not a great combination. I've always heard off and on about my inconsistent tempos. Directly or indirectly. Whether I played with him or with a different bassist. This is very noticeable in the studio, but even when I've watched myself on video from gigs I've played. Maybe not as noticeable to the "average person", but noticeable to me and to other musicians. In fact, I KNOW it is noticeable to other musicians because of the comments that have been said about me in the past. One of the main comments I overheard was that they felt I was a "second rate" player, and mediocre. I still to this day, play with a metronome and preach that in my teaching. However in my opinion, keeping good time is yet another aspect of drumming that you are either born with or you're not. There is no "in between" or "learning" to keep better time no matter how much you play to a click. (at least for me) Sadly, you either have it or you don't. It's called being a NATURAL. With that being said, that is my DEMON #2 - poor time keeping ability.
My third and last "DEMON" #3 is, and taken in all of the above thus far, I've made the mistake over the last several years of going on You Tube!! This is obviously the best way to learn how to play cover songs and is much easier then in the old days of sitting with a record player or cassette tape, desperately trying to figure out how to play a song in parts where you heard more hiss then anything else. But again, all I find mainly, is myself getting frustrated and jealous. All I come across is young kids, teens and sometimes younger, playing parts that I never would have thought of, and some parts, that I can't even physically play......
I find myself continuingly growing more and more depressed. I've been seriously thinking now of just giving up and selling all of my gear. I've had some great memories and experiences, but I can't seem to shake my demons. So maybe now is the time to quit and just stop torturing myself? As much as I've tried, I never really felt like a "drummer", rather, just a person who likes to play and that was just not born with the natural gift. I'm also at the point that I do not feel qualified to even teach. I know the thought sometimes is "bad players sometimes make good teachers" but when I can't play that "new lick" that even a teenager can play, that gets verify F$#king frustrating and old eventually.
So as you can all see, I have major mental issues that are NOT getting any better as well as, I'm also not physically being capable of playing things that I feel I should be able to play considering my years of playing and experience. I've never had much confidence in myself to begin with, which is well a part of my issues. I'm married with kids and have a full time job on top of my part time teaching job. So my practicing routine is limited now. However, I've proven to myself that even in the past when I did have the time and always played (for hours on end) that it didn't make much difference anyway. It only really gave me stamina. (oh, which I now battle as well on top of this other crap due to my limited time.. Doh!) My apologies for the long-winded novel, but I do not know where to go from here.......
Drumer12b (aka drummer wanna be)