When Your Band Won't Gig

I'm in a very frustrating position, so I'd like to vent a bit, and if there's any advice to be given, please feel free :p

I've been playing drums for about ten years now - I started late in life. And I've been in a few bands (jazz, swing, pop-punk (ugh) and classic rock) in that time. All of those bands had flaws and problems, but with one exception they all WANTED to play out. They were constantly looking for gigs.

For the past year or so I've been with a classic rock band where I'm the youngest guy in the band. Not by some crazy amount, maybe ten years or so. And while I really like the band and the guys and have a lot of respect for their talent (especially after that pop-punk band), it frustrates me to no end that they don't seem to care about gigging.

I think it boils down to two things: that they're older (with all the responsibilities and natural costs that go with that) and they've all been playing music their whole lives. So it's not as exciting for them as it is for me.

Every now and then I bring up the problem, and they tell me "yeah we'll look for more gigs", but nothing ever matures. Before I joined the band, when they had their old drummer, they had an agent. They don't seem too anxious to get an agent again, but nobody wants to do the legwork to get into venues.

I've tried to help by finding us venues. But I'm a little younger and I like to play to younger crowds, and I like to play in the 'happening' areas. They ... aren't. And don't. So the few gigs I've found us left them kind of unhappy, and I just stopped trying.

What can you do in this situation? I'd hate to leave the band, because who throws away something for nothing? And I've seen how hard it is to find a band you can play with, before you even start thinking about finding gigs. People are just too difficult (me included).

Any advice? Keep pestering? Or just accept limited gigging?
 
Being the new guy - maybe I'd take a step back and feel them out a bit more. If they're used to having an agent book everything, maybe it will take them a while to realize they need to do that should they want to play out more. Maybe they like the 'break' that they're on for now. I'd just roll with it and see what happens. If you rush them into anything, or keep pestering, one of two things will happen : 1) They kick into gear and get with your program, or 2) They let you go because they think you're unhappy with them not moving at all.

Not much on an answer, I know. But you could discuss it with them and find out where they are with all of this and you could either support them and be a member, or leave.
 
they don't seem to care about gigging.

I think it boils down to two things: that they're older (with all the responsibilities and natural costs that go with that) and they've all been playing music their whole lives. So it's not as exciting for them as it is for me.

Oh...I think you found the band for me!


Just because you're in THIS band doesn't mean you can't gig with other bands.
I mean, I assume this bands rehearses 1 or 2 nights a week(?). So, that least 5-6 other nights open for other gigs(?).
 
Ask 'em straight up what their intentions are. Be honest about your aspriations for the band and ask them to be honest in return. If you find out you're not on the same page, it may be time to move on. There doesn't need to be any hard feelings, but what's the point in sticking around if you all have different goals?
 
Yea, keep this situation until you find something more in line with your desires. It's OK to whore around, that's one of the best parts lol.
 
You are in luck.Somewhere in your town a band is looking for a drummer who can gig, and you can fit the bill. Find and join that band. It doesn't mean you leave this one.
 
Life is far too short to spend time doing things that don't make you happy. When I started playing again a while back, after having to pack away drums due to living in an apartment, I wanted to play with others. I had a few false starts with people that were into the same thing, sort of, but then turned out to be far too inconsistent to do things like, show up for practice, or pay rehearsal space rent on time. Lame.

What did I do? I found other people. I did this by networking a bit, finding the right people, then talking about what we want to be doing. My advice is to think about what you want and be able to articulate that people you find that are into the stuff you are into.

It's sort of like dating, but with several people:
What are you into playing?
How often can you practice?
Interested in playing out?
Where do you see/want this going?
Do you have a car/job? (weeds out a lot of 30 watt bulbs)

Ya know, that sort of stuff. It gets it all out front, and there are less hurt feelings and resentment later.

Also, take measure of people that you meet. Hang socially a bit. Are they a drama queen? Do they have substance abuse problems? Are they a different person when they drink? All those things matter to me. I have little to no tolerance for babysitting people and refuse to do so. They need to be able to, as they say, "Handle their business."

Anyway, that's my take.
 
Something that took me too many years to internalize is that it is hard to change other people. So an open discussion is in order. If what they are willing to do is not enough for you, start looking around.
 
At one point I was in a band that played mostly originals and got steady work and practicing with another band that had maybe 40 cover songs in a setlist (more than enough to weather through the most extended gigs in our area). Yet the bass player who was calling the shots kept insisting that we were not ready to book gigs after 4 months of rehearsals.

Summer rolled around and the originals band kicked into high gear, and my weekends started to black out pretty extensively. I showed up to a practice with the cover band, and it turned out to be an ambush band meeting where the bass player tried to force me to make a choice between them and the originals band. With no job at the time, and not ever having played one gig with the cover band (even a free one), I turned around and walked straight out the door.

Point is, your goals and the other guys' goals will not always align. It sounds like you want to be out there playing and they want to be casual hobbyists. I think this is going to come to a head sooner or later, and so you might as well discuss it with them ahead of time before tempers and egos come into the equation. They still might, but at least you got it out in the open and tried to resolve it amicably.
 
I'm in a very frustrating position, so I'd like to vent a bit, and if there's any advice to be given, please feel free :p

I've been playing drums for about ten years now - I started late in life. And I've been in a few bands (jazz, swing, pop-punk (ugh) and classic rock) in that time. All of those bands had flaws and problems, but with one exception they all WANTED to play out. They were constantly looking for gigs.

For the past year or so I've been with a classic rock band where I'm the youngest guy in the band. Not by some crazy amount, maybe ten years or so. And while I really like the band and the guys and have a lot of respect for their talent (especially after that pop-punk band), it frustrates me to no end that they don't seem to care about gigging.

I think it boils down to two things: that they're older (with all the responsibilities and natural costs that go with that) and they've all been playing music their whole lives. So it's not as exciting for them as it is for me.

Every now and then I bring up the problem, and they tell me "yeah we'll look for more gigs", but nothing ever matures. Before I joined the band, when they had their old drummer, they had an agent. They don't seem too anxious to get an agent again, but nobody wants to do the legwork to get into venues.

I've tried to help by finding us venues. But I'm a little younger and I like to play to younger crowds, and I like to play in the 'happening' areas. They ... aren't. And don't. So the few gigs I've found us left them kind of unhappy, and I just stopped trying.

What can you do in this situation? I'd hate to leave the band, because who throws away something for nothing? And I've seen how hard it is to find a band you can play with, before you even start thinking about finding gigs. People are just too difficult (me included).

Any advice? Keep pestering? Or just accept limited gigging?

This is not a "band" but more of a "recreational release" for these guys. Been there, done that too many times. And when you do find a band that's playing out every week they're gonna be pissed when you leave.

You should leave and find a band that plays out. As for all the time you sank into it, that's just how it goes sometimes.
 
Someone mentioned on this site once that they didn't understand why some of us play drums but we don't gig. There are many reasons. I am one of those. I just like playing for me. However if I was in the mood to play out, I would find a group that needed me and do so. I wouldn't hang with a band that had no desire to gig. I would move on. Explain it to them and pack youir things, or tell them to get a new manager and let him arrange such outings.
 
You said they don't like the 'happening' venues that you prefer, do you think they might play more gigs if you tried getting in at the type of venues they like?

Do you have time to join a 2nd band? If you really like being in this band, maybe you can stay in it and get out there with another group. I managed to do it when I worked full time but I'm not married.
 
I'd suggest that you keep going after gigs.

If the majority of the members are more comfortable in different venues than the ones you like, you should focus on those.

You should also keep looking for a band that matches what you are looking for.
 
I tend to agree with the majority here, I would actively audition for, seek out, and network with other bands that are actively gigging. Especially the ones who are playing in the clubs you like.Go to a few shows, and become a familiar face. Sooner or later, someone will need a solid, reliable drummer.Maybe offer your services as a sub at first, so you can test the waters without a full on commitment. Once you start actively doing fill in gigs for other bands, your current crew will be forced to motivate, book some shows, get an agent, or make some decisions. It shouldn't take long.
Also, its interesting that you say your group is categorized as classic rock, but you want to play to younger crowds and in more of the trendy clubs. Demographically speaking, that might be something to consider,too.In the bar circuit that I'm gigging in(Baltimore/DC/VA),it seems like the cover bands categorized as "modern rock/party/Top 40/dance" get booked in the bigger, more active, venues with the younger crowds(21-34 category). A handful of classic rock and 80's bands do get plenty of work, but generally speaking, the market here is over saturated with them. Good luck!
 
You're probably gonna have to find a working band to join. Guys who want to gig. Keep playing with the band you're in now, if time allows.​
 
Thanks for the feedback guys. Looks like my fears were correct. We've had one "what do you guys want to do" discussion, but I think two of the guys in the band are a little in fear of the third, and the third says he wants to gig, so the other two won't SAY they don't want to but just drag their feet and don't make time for gigs (any excuse to get out of one).

So yeah, I'll try one more discussion, but I'll be looking for another band. It really sucks b/c I do like this band, and think we'd blow up (well, blow up as big as a cover band can) if we would just get off the sofa and book gigs. But what can you do if about half your band is firmly attached to the sofa?
 
So odd...

I played in a band a couple years back that talked about the need to gig, and actually booked gigs.

The problem for me was that they skipped too many rehearsals. It was a five-piece, and one of the other four would too often not make the time to play.

I would suggest a vocal rehearsal with just an acoustic guitar, or any number of other options, which were always declined.

What really bit was the Sunday rehearsal slot was about an hour and a half drive from my ski teaching winter gig in the mountains, and I'd be the only guy to show up at the singer's house. Everybody though somebody else let me know it was off.

I figured out that these guys had lost the love for playing and did it out of habit. Rehearsals were not the high point of their week. At all.

I was the "new guy", and had about sixty songs to learn. The gigs were not as smooth as they could have been. (Duh!)

This was a four-month odyssey of road apples until my lucky day: they fired me for not learning my parts fast enough. Four years later, and they're still advertising for players.

I'm playing now with a few guys who love to play, even when only two of us can make it. We all sing, all know about 100 songs off the tops of our heads, and are starting to book gigs now that we've narrowed 400 possibles to 50 tightest tunes.

It's taken me years to find these guys.
 
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