I don't think it's as black and white as that.
You're in the band and you's are recording so either way you should pay but, you's need to decide between you's whatbis best.
You want to have your recorsing sound the best it possibley can and if that means using samples or programming then it's all for the greater good. Just as a guitarist will record micro-takes and track them multiple times to the point you couldn't do it live without a backing track.
But, why compromise your sound or songs for the sake of saying 'this is completely real'?
Not many people do that anymore, albums are full of all the bells and whistles and if you have the gear and money it's possible to do it live with clicks snd backing which goes down great.
It just depends on how much it bugs you to not be physically playing. You can bet there arw a ton of recordings you like that feature programmed drums and nobody knows about it.
When I was alot younger my band went into a studio and I recorded live drums, got a load of tracks down and had some great takes.
I was then approached by the band a few days later asking if I'd be willing to program the drums. Not because my playing was bad but, because the sound just wasn't good enough.
I had to think about it andnmy pride hurt at first but, I wanted our demo to sound as good as possible so, I did it and it was better for it.
You could call it taking one for the team!
So, whatever works best, sounds best, is best.
No point in being too proud but, I do believe the final decision should be the drummers so, you make up your mind.
I've had experience with both and treat it as a tool. I recommend programmed drums to some.bands who come into our studio, we talk it through properly and they end upnwith a recording standard they would never hsve had if the drummer played his kit, or played with limited skills.
I've even been payed to create parts and fills thatbsound great regsrdless of whether they can pkay it or not, then give them lessons and teach them to play it.
Pushes them to improve faster I think.
So, for me the that wall was smashed down long ago. Not everyone feels this way but, I think I'm more with the times and more future-proof because of it.
And never let it be said that I didn't do whatever it took to get a good sound for a band! Lol