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  #1  
Old 06-05-2013, 07:58 PM
John Lamb's Avatar
John Lamb John Lamb is offline
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Default blurb!

I'm putting the finishing touches on my book (It should be out tonight) but I'm running to a block over the descriptive blurb. I need opinions and feedback, so thought I'd ask you guys what you think about it. How can I make this better? Thanks!

"A Matter Of Time redefines rhythm based on what effect neuroscience says rhythm has on the brain. Lamb examines the implications of neuroscience on our understanding of rhythm and what it means for improving music performance."
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Old 06-05-2013, 08:14 PM
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StickIt StickIt is offline
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Default Re: blurb!

A Matter Of Time redefines rhythm according to its effects on the human brain. Lamb examines the implications of neuroscience on our understanding and interaction with rhythm, and the possibility of using this information to further improve musical performance.

Nah, that doesn't sound good either, lol...The only critique I would offer is making the first sentence a little more easily digestible (maybe not repeating "rhythm"). Sounds good, though!
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Old 06-05-2013, 08:39 PM
Smoke Smoke is offline
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Default Re: blurb!

I thought it was resonable as-is. But sometimes forcing a pause gives the reader time to digest a heady subject.

Just slightly tweaked:

A Matter Of Time redefines “rhythm,” based on the effects neuroscientists say rhythm has on the brain.

I used "neuroscientists" so you don't use the same big word twice in two sentences (well almost!).

I'm no english major - just thought I'd toss in my 2 centavos.

Best of luck,

John
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  #4  
Old 06-05-2013, 08:40 PM
Smoke Smoke is offline
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Default Re: blurb!

Whoops!

I think the second sentence is fine without tweaks.
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  #5  
Old 06-05-2013, 08:46 PM
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John Lamb John Lamb is offline
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Default Re: blurb!

good points thanks! Anything else? I am supposed to write in a "call to action" but don't know how to do it without sounding sales-y. any ideas there?
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  #6  
Old 06-06-2013, 04:13 AM
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CreeplyTuna CreeplyTuna is offline
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Default Re: blurb!

I have no problem with it the way it is. Nothing to kill yourself over.
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  #7  
Old 06-06-2013, 08:52 AM
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John Lamb John Lamb is offline
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Default Re: blurb!

Hows this?

A Matter of Time examines the implications of neuroscience on our understanding of rhythm and what it means for improving music performance. Lamb, who holds a B.S. in Biology, Psychology and Music with a Masters in Education simply explains how the brain resonates with rhythm and why rhythm is best understood in this way.
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  #8  
Old 06-06-2013, 09:15 AM
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Midnite Zephyr Midnite Zephyr is offline
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Default Re: blurb!

Quote:
Originally Posted by John Lamb View Post
Hows this?

A Matter of Time examines the implications of neuroscience on our understanding of rhythm and what it means for improving music performance. Lamb, who holds a B.S. in Biology, Psychology and Music with a Masters in Education simply explains how the brain resonates with rhythm and why rhythm is best understood in this way.
It's good like it is.
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Old 06-06-2013, 02:54 PM
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StickIt StickIt is offline
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Default Re: blurb!

Quote:
A Matter of Time examines the implications of neuroscience on our understanding of rhythm and what it means for improving music performance. Lamb, who holds a B.S. in Biology, Psychology and Music with a Masters in Education simply explains how the brain resonates with rhythm and why rhythm is best understood in this way.
Sounds like a winner!
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  #10  
Old 06-06-2013, 04:50 PM
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Davo-London Davo-London is offline
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Default Re: blurb!

A Matter of Time is a scientific study on the interaction between rhythm and the brain.

Davo
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  #11  
Old 06-07-2013, 04:42 AM
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Midnite Zephyr Midnite Zephyr is offline
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Default Re: blurb!

I though a Bachelor's in Music would be a B.A. (Bachelor of Arts).
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