Oh Hell Caz, are you trying to make me cry??? Man, I wonder. My brother is a very successful producer. A few weeks ago he said to me "You really aren't successful!" but I had to wonder. I have taught anti rape classes, I've taken mor than 300 pupils from white to black belt... WTH is success????
Is it money alone? In which case I am a failure. But ask Polyana, can I play drums? If so is that not success?
No one can measure success except the person living that life mate. Your brothers measure of success in life is going to be very different to how you would measure success. Obvious but very true. Most people consider their life a success if they are financially well off or successful.
Why that is such a measure of success is beyond my comprehension.
I think the simplest way to look at whether your life has been a success is if you feel pride, contentment and happiness at what you've achieved in life. If you're homeless but feel that you've accomplished whatever it is that makes you content, happy and maybe that you have reached a certain feeling of satisfaction in life, then that's all that matters.
You can't judge your
brothers views on success to your own life. They aren't your own measures of success. If he has done well financially and considers his life a success so far, but is really completely miserable deep down, then his life is being judged by the social constructs that say 'you are successful if you are wealthy'. It is complete BS.
How many monks are wealthy in $ terms? Unless they are corrupt, not a single one, and yet they are among the most truly happy, contented people on earth. Everyone has there own way of looking at things and when you start losing your way and looking at your own life from the perspective of others it can skew your thinking and make you think you might not have accomplished what you should have compared to what others think you should have tried to do.
Some of my most accomplished years were also in martial arts, in which I was also an Australian Champion twice, competed in world championships, flew across the world with it, was on TV etc etc. I have great memories from those years and everyone I've talked to considers that a huge achievement and are amazed at it all,
but, I don't consider it an achievement at all. I was teaching a lot, practicing, studying etc etc and became hugely burnt out. I stopped everything all of a sudden and disappeared from it. Myself, I feel like those years were unsuccessful whereas most people would look at that and consider it a great accomplishment. It's all about perspective.
I've been well off financially when I got a job in the share trading sector when I thought music would never do enough for me. That felt like the biggest waste of time in my life so far. Completely pointless, no matter how much money I was getting. There were a lot of people I worked with who hated what they did, but they put in ridiculous hours and spent every waking moment trying to get further ahead because it gave them a lot of cash. Doesn't make them a success and it certainly didn't make them happy. They were the most miserable, boring people I've ever met. I'm sure they consider themselves a success and probably many others do too, when they see driving past in a nice car. Luckily though, they didn't have to meet them.
I've done a lot of other interesting stuff in life, as everyone has. I was sponsored for skateboarding when I was younger and toured Aus in competition, was in magazines etc, and again people are amazed, but
I don't feel happy because of it. It's just another thing in life. Music has been the one constant in my life that has been a success and given me a sense of pride and happiness. Even though I stopped doing it for many years, which was when I was making lots of money, it was something I constantly thought about to the point that I felt I had lost what I was meant to do.
I decided that my first choice was right and started to practice again. Went to school for it and realise now that the social constructs that make someone become an accountant when they would rather be an artist etc, got to me too. Thinking I had to make money to be successful was silly. I've had great times playing and been the most fulfilled when doing it, whether playing or practicing for hours, weeks and years on end. I'm sure that at the end of my life, I will not look back and say to myself, "Gee, I really wish I had earned more money and been financially successful" because I can't take anything with me after life apart from a feeling of contentment and happiness that the only shot at life I had was well lived. What else can you do?
Everyone looks at someone else and thinks they might have accomplished more and are doing better or whatever, forgetting that that person feels the same way about you no doubt. You've got to find that thing in life which is yours alone and thinking about other peoples perspective on success is the wrong way of going about it. Maybe like yours, my brother would be considered more successful than me because he has a top position as a Design Director at a huge international firm and yet whenever I see him he looks drawn, tired, exhausted and somewhat unhappy. His opinion is that position, status and wealth will make him happy. He's been wrong so far.
