First Gig Blues

MaryO

Platinum Member
So I haven't reported to you for a while on my upcoming first gig that's happening in two weeks and there is a reason for that...I'm not feeling real good about the whole situation.

Where to even start....first of all...Band Drama, Drama and Drama. Nothing like being in band of all women...talk about moods. Ugh. Anyways I won't get into those details...

Mostly, I'm just not happy with this band and their level of performance and skill. While the singer has a decent voice (on some songs) that's about where the talent seems to stop. The singer plays keyboard but really is not that good at ti and it doesn't help that she's using a cheap Casio keyboard that literally cost her $60. No professional sounds at all and the tones she chooses to use for some songs, I just don't get. To me some of them sound like something a kid would use and it sounds very amateurish and lame.

The guitar player thinks she's Nancy Wilson but so isn't and she is supposed to be a back up singer but can't do the harmonies half the time or is so afraid to sing and you can't hear her. Of course this really doesn't work on the few songs she is supposed to sing lead!

My favorite was when the guitar player told me she was so used to keeping the beat in the band either because they were playing as a duo or because their last drummer couldn't do it and that it needed to stay that way so I just needed to follow her because she didn't want to have to relearn her actual part to all of the songs (excuse me but new drummer back here is having to learn all of the songs...period!). I guess they don't know what a drummer does!

And that brings us to the point that almost every song they play d...r....a....g....s so slow. I try to get them to speed up but it's always an uphill battle. Many songs that are supposed to be upbeat just sound depressing.

And rehearsals....ugh! They are so lax and we still have some songs that I can't get them to tell me how they end them or if they are playing a bridge in the song, etc. Getting them to count in a song, or let me do it, is like pulling teeth. And if we do a song once in rehearsal, that's it..they don't want to do it again, even if we mess it up or have questions about it. My favorite quote came after a rehearsal last week when I told them again I needed to know the endings because if I didn't, they'd stop and the drums would just keep playing. The guitar player said..."I don't know, I lkind of like it when that happens...it sounds cool". Seriously? Fine, I'll just do that on every song and look like a complete fool. Argh!

It's all very frustrating (can you tell?) mostly because I really wanted to get with some people who would push my abilities and teach me a few things and most of the time I feel it's been the exact opposite. I would never back out on the committment of this gig but at this point I'm actually almost embarrassed to get up and play with them. My boyfriend says just go and have fun and the audience will be able to tell that I'm a decent player but I'm afraid this band is just going to go down in flames taking me with them. As of now, I'm pretty sure I'll be parting ways with them after this gig.

I'd post some audio for you from practice but I'm too embarrassed. Yes, it's really that bad. At least my early gig for the night got cancelled out (part of the drama - long story) and I only have to play the one.

Are all first bands this difficult?? lol.

Sorry for the long, whining post but this is where I'm at. Who knows, maybe the night of the gig, it will all come together, the other girls will act like they give a damn and it'll be magic. I doubt it...but maybe. Please send all the positive vibes you can my way...I'm gonna need them!

I'll let you know how it goes when it's all said and done.
 
My first gig was almost 40 years ago now and I was a kid who wasn't smart enough to know I didn't know sh!t, so it was a bit different for me. I agree with your boyfriend, though. Go and have as much fun as you can. I understand that feeling of embarrassment when the group isn't up to your standards, but that happens to most of us at some point. You can only be responsible for your part.

It's still a valuable experience, Mary. You're learning about your own skill level and what kind of players it will take to push you to the next level.

Now you know more of what to listen for in your NEXT band, right?!

Hang in there, and just keep the joy of playing music in your heart. It's all a process, and you're on the way.
 
You are probably the main reason I joined DW, Mary. I saw your thread about your Craigslist advert and I was full of admiration for you, and it also gave me hope that I might find other people to play with one day, too. I want this to work out for you as much as I'd want it for myself.

What happens when you all listen back to recordings? Do they not hear when anything is amiss? I'm wondering if they need a bit more education regarding qualitative rigour - could you perhaps find some footage of a band who really aren't good enough, get them to watch it with you, and see whether they identify the same shortcomings as you do? This might enable you to tell whether they have generally low standards or whether they simply don't apply rigour to themselves in the way that they do to others. Either way, I think they need to be encouraged to shine a spotlight on themselves, and if you can get them to do it themselves, it'll be better than you doing it all the time, which must be a horrible position to be in.

Re dragging: can you rehearse to a click set at the correct bpm?

I don't know what else to suggest, and you've probably thought of these things anyway. I imagine you've also thought about breaking your wrist, too, although breaking theirs would probably be a better option!
 
That was quite the rant! At the end you're asking for all of the positive vibes possible. lol where are yours at? :)
 
Mary, I really don't think you should sweat it. My first band was a joke to me, standard wise. The singer souldn't sing in tune to save his life. The lead guitarist was tinny. The rhythm guitarist had a tone like an electric sander. I was a sloppy, overplaying noob (but I thought I was great). Good little bassist. The next couple of bands I was in were pretty woolly too - as was my own playing. Is :)

So my advice is don't forget to have fun in the search for a Drummerworld-friendly performance - that be the way of insanity!

Sure, it can be embarrassing to present music with mistakes, but we expect your band to sound like noobs, just as our noob bands sounded when we were noobs. Speaking for myself, I am jaded from hearing so many technical hotshots and am grateful to hear someone who doesn't kick my sorry white drumming arse :)

If you focus on making the other musicians sound good then you, as a side effect, will sound good / better / optimal.

Break a leg!
 
Do the gig. Smile. Don't make the "Who farted?" face. When the gig's over and people are giving you compliments, don't go over all the mistakes that were made. Just be gracious and say "Thanks, we had a blast playing for you".
 
Keep your (metaphorical) pecker up!

Remember, you are doing what most people don't have the (again, metaphorical) balls to do.

Most of all, get out there and have fun...hell, I only signed up to DW to follow your first gig Mary! So you'd darn' well better do it and report back when it's been done.

Take names, kick butt, have fun!
 
All good advise to date Mary. It doesn't matter how many people tell you not to worry, but you still will. We all have concerns about something when we step on stage, no matter how advanced the group of players are. It's what you do with those concerns that often dictates your personal performance, & more importantly, what you get out of it. Don't let your band mate worries consume you. If it helps, this is your debut, & you're going to make damn sure you enjoy it. Enjoyment is key.

Facts:

If you're enjoying yourself, you'll play better.

If the band are seen to enjoy themselves, the audience will pick up big time on that.

Concentrate on getting your parts right. Outside of that, there's little you can do to affect your band mates performances once you kick into the first song, so worrying about them will get you nowhere.

As Grea pointed out, you're a new band of players starting out. It's not going to be absolutely perfect from the get go, but that doesn't prevent either you or the audience having a good time. Hey, your first car wasn't perfect - right? But I bet you have fond memories of it, & your mates thought it was cool. Get where I'm going with this? :)

Mary, vibe, vibe, & vibe. That's what matters. That's what an audience picks up on. Engage with the audience, have fun with it, & you'll carry them along with you. In return, they'll lift you up & you'll be surprised just how well it will go.

R&R fact: Bad last practice = great gig ;)
 
I also agree with the BF. Just go and have a blast. Last night I had a gig, there was a band
that was really all over the place but their drummer was just smiling and having a good
time at the kit. That put a smile on my face as I felt his energy and enthusiasm.

With regards to working on your endings... turn things around. End the song earlier so they
will be the ones that will keep playing. hahaha!!! It would be nice if you can video your
performance.
 
Thanks guys for the kick in the butt, sorry for the rant I'm just really bummed about this whole thing. It's really not that I expect to be perfect, or even great..goodness knows I'm not! I really am trying to see the positives but they have been few and far between. Its gotten so bad that the boyfriend (who's been in a band or two in his day and is a much better musician than I) can hardly talk about it because it makes him so mad to see what's happening. Believe me, if it were all my fault, he'd tell me and put me in my place.

I do want you to know as well that I don't express these things to people other than here or my boyfriend and drum teacher at lessons. I would never put my bandmates down in front of others and I want anyone who comes to see us to come with an open mind. I guess that's why I needed to rant here.

I really wish I could express what's going on without sounding arrogant. I'm really not and I know that I'm not a great or even good drummer but I do have such a passion for this and I think that's what's making it so hard.

Believe it or not, I am determined to go and have as much fun as I can at this gig as I can. I will smile and play to the best of my abilities, no matter what happens. I've invited all of my friends and I figure they should have a good time either seeing a decent performance or watching me make a complete fool of myself. Either way it should at least be good for a laugh or two before it's over.

It's the way I've started to approach rehearsals as well. I've figured if I can't beat em, join them so I may give a suggestion here or there but basically just concentrate on my own playing and doing what I can. They don't seem to care what I play (if I ask for their opinion on how they would like me to play something, they don't seem to have one) so I just do what I think may work and try to have fun with it. It's just frustrating when I don't know what I'm doing to begin with not to have any input. It would at least be nice to know if what I'm doing sounds right or not, I'm just making this up as I go along.

I promise no more rants. l will shut up and be a happy little drummer. After the gig, there should be some video and I'll post something. One way or the other it should at least be good for a laugh.

Oh and remember I said that Barracuda was on the set list? I've had to bow out of that song. I just couldn't get the timing right and always felt like a half-beat off when playing it with the band, even with dumb-downed beat my teacher had given me to work with. That one was just over my head so they are going to do it as a duo. I figure if I couldn't add something to the song, then it's better to just sit it out. We'll save that one for later :) However, I have managed to learn something to play on about 50 other songs so I'm pretty proud of myself for that. I'm not saying I play them well but I give them a good attempt....lol.
 
You are working with people who are not studious like you are Mary. You want to learn how to do it correctly that is why you are here at the best drum forum in the world.
The level that the people in your band are at now, is the level that they will be at years from now. They will not learn because they haven't the desire to do so. A true musician could make a $60 Casio keyboard sound good. A true musician would learn how to be counted in, perform at correct tempo, and sing in proper harmony. A good musician doesn't create band drama because he/she knows that it is counter productive. It seems that anything that is challenging to your bandmates is quickly dismissed as unnecessary.
My advice is to confront them and make them understand that they are not ready to gig. It isn't to late to cancel the gig. 2 weeks is enough time for the venue to find another band.
I would find musicians who want to work together as a team and learn if I were you. That is the only way that you will progress. You will never get any level of satisfaction from the current people whom you are playing with. Cut your losses now and move away from them.
 
I would find musicians who want to work together as a team and learn if I were you. That is the only way that you will progress. You will never get any level of satisfaction from the current people whom you are playing with. Cut your losses now and move away from them.

I echo this, very wise words.
 
Hesitated saying this, but personally, I would get out ASAP. Music is supposed to be fun, or at least enjoyable for the performer and listener. Not saying that cannot develop, but it doesn't sound promising. Sounds as though you're all on different pages, different steps in time and the musical process. Sorry, wish you and the band the best though.
 
Actually I don't think canceling this gig is an option at this point. These girls have played this bar before and the owner has advertised, etc. It's in conjunction with a festival earlier that day. Anyways, I feel I've made a commitment and should stick to it. Also we are supposedly getting $100 each to play so it's hard to turn down a paying gig.

They keep telling me things will be different on stage, that they are more animated and put their all into it so we'll see. But barring any miracles that night, we will probably part ways after this. I haven't told them because I don't want even more drama before that night...it's hard enough as it is.

Plus, at the moment I have no other options to get this experience and I do believe that no matter how it turns out...the experience itself is invaluable.

Again, who knows...maybe magic will happen.
 
Sorry for your frustrations Mary. But like everyone has said, go out and have some fun, don't make any excuses to anyone, take the money and run ;)

The one amusing thing is how people think they'll be different at the gig, and the thing of it is, you perform how you rehearse. It's a bit amusing they've been hired before at this bar, given the apparently issues your experiencing.

But not to worry - you show up and do your thing, and get that first gig under your belt. Everyone starts somewhere, this one's yours ;)
 
Actually I don't think canceling this gig is an option at this point. These girls have played this bar before and the owner has advertised, etc. It's in conjunction with a festival earlier that day. Anyways, I feel I've made a commitment and should stick to it. Also we are supposedly getting $100 each to play so it's hard to turn down a paying gig.

They keep telling me things will be different on stage, that they are more animated and put their all into it so we'll see. But barring any miracles that night, we will probably part ways after this. I haven't told them because I don't want even more drama before that night...it's hard enough as it is.

Plus, at the moment I have no other options to get this experience and I do believe that no matter how it turns out...the experience itself is invaluable.

Again, who knows...maybe magic will happen.

I agree with your assessment. Do the gig, make the best of it, evaluate the experience, and then go from there.

Here's the good news I see in all of this: the fact that you can perceive all of these deficiencies (musically speaking) in your band mates is validation of the hard work and dedication you've been putting into your drumming. Good musicians (or people who are good at any skill) become good because they are able to perceive the difference between a high level of craftsmanship and a level that is lacking, and they take the steps to reach (or at least get closer to) that high level themselves. Your band mates (apparently) don't seem to have the level of perception that you do (or if they do, they're not acting on it), so they will most likely never improve. You, on the other hand, will most likely continue to play with better and better musicians in the future (if you keep progressing like you have been). So I'd look at this band experience as just a stepping stone to better things--you can still enjoy yourself making music with these folks, but know that you definitely will have the opportunity to play with more accomplished groups in the future, because you have the drive and the work ethic that many people don't have.

Have a good gig.
 
Mary, I really don't think you should sweat it. My first band was a joke to me, standard wise. The singer souldn't sing in tune to save his life. The lead guitarist was tinny. The rhythm guitarist had a tone like an electric sander. I was a sloppy, overplaying noob (but I thought I was great). Good little bassist. The next couple of bands I was in were pretty woolly too - as was my own playing. Is :)

So my advice is don't forget to have fun in the search for a Drummerworld-friendly performance - that be the way of insanity!

Sure, it can be embarrassing to present music with mistakes, but we expect your band to sound like noobs, just as our noob bands sounded when we were noobs. Speaking for myself, I am jaded from hearing so many technical hotshots and am grateful to hear someone who doesn't kick my sorry white drumming arse :)

If you focus on making the other musicians sound good then you, as a side effect, will sound good / better / optimal.

Break a leg!

I'm surprised that I agree with everyone here. I thought I'd hear a bunch of "RUN AWAY!" type comments.

First bands are like that. Remember that you're really not a hot-s*** drummer yet, and your performance likely has as many flaws as theirs. If you really can't get along with them, then you'll need to move on, but for now, I think this might be good experience playing in a full band with actual songs to play together.

We all start somewhere, right? Bring in a white-board and start making notes on structure and endings of songs right there in the room. Keep it visible to everyone. This will be a good way to go about solidifying some of the in-question stuff without going over it 20 times.
 
I'm surprised that I agree with everyone here. I thought I'd hear a bunch of "RUN AWAY!" type comments.

First bands are like that. Remember that you're really not a hot-s*** drummer yet, and your performance likely has as many flaws as theirs.

Believe me, I know that very well. I'm nothing more than a hack drummer tyring to keep a beat at this point. I just figured joining a band that had played together for 3 or 4 years I'd be the one with most of the flaws. It's just disappointing to find out they don't seem to have progressed from their starting point. Thats my main point. I want to join with people that can point those flaws out and say get your sh*t together or try this or have you ever thought about doing this..... I want to play with people that will force me to play better and go places I haven't gone before. I guess that's really the crux of this whole thing. Instead i'm the one saying, hey, there's a break in this song where the guitar drops out or there's a 4 beat measure between the verse and chorus that does this, etc...things they never thought of that are frankly pretty obvious. I never thought that I woud be the one pointing those things out.
 
Believe me, I know that very well. I'm nothing more than a hack drummer tyring to keep a beat at this point. I just figured joining a band that had played together for 3 or 4 years I'd be the one with most of the flaws. It's just disappointing to find out they don't seem to have progressed from their starting point. Thats my main point. I want to join with people that can point those flaws out and say get your sh*t together or try this or have you ever thought about doing this..... I want to play with people that will force me to play better and go places I haven't gone before. I guess that's really the crux of this whole thing. Instead i'm the one saying, hey, there's a break in this song where the guitar drops out or there's a 4 beat measure between the verse and chorus that does this, etc...things they never thought of that are frankly pretty obvious. I never thought that I woud be the one pointing those things out.

I've done two gigs this weekend Mary.

And heard two professional bands balls a song up so badly that they had to stop and re-start.

Play the gig...enjoy it as much as you possibly can.

My one and only word of advice (from someone without the credential to give out ANY advice I should warn !!)........but tell all your band members whatever happens DO NOT STOP the song.

Oh...in terms of the long term future of you and this band, without knowing you from Adam (or should that be Eve), you sound capable of giving that band direction. Take control of it and start putting yourself forward. The band sounds like they need a leader capable of organising them, and their rehearsals to a better effect. If that's you, then go for it. What's the worst that can happen? They get pissed off with you...big deal. They don't want you in their band. Big deal again.

Anyway...whatever happens, good luck.

There was an all girl band on earlier at the gig we played called Lyxx. They're from Newcastle. Exactly what a young girl band should be all about...superb even though their brand of rock was a bit too 'vanilla' for my tastes. Look them up and show your band friends.
 
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