Getting "yelled" at onstage

Larry

"Uncle Larry"
OK I don't mean literal yelling...Let me explain. I make mistakes sometimes, like everyone. One of the bands I'm in, if I misstep onstage, I get like the verbal " Aw c'mon man" with the accompanying noticeably high level of frustration in the voice, said at a volume clearly loud enough to be heard from the audience.
I've never said anything to anyone about it, it happens probably every 3 gigs or so, but I'm thinking of exercising some rights here, and not simply absorbing it anymore. It doesn't make me play better, it's unprofessional conduct onstage, I don't like it one bit, and I NEVER did anything like that to the others, even though the amount of mistakes I make is a small fraction of the mistakes I hear coming from places other than the drumkit..

Why so serious? I totally laugh off their mistakes, what are you gonna do? You can't unring that bell, so best to make light of it and use it to look like you're having a good time, right? Last night I was "yelled" at twice, once for not reading someones mind exactly right, and another because I missed the drum pickup, and the very first note of the song was played just a tad unsure by me. I thought the beginning was different, my bad for sure, but geez it was barely noticeable, I covered just fine I thought, so I'm thinking the audience knew nothing.
Part of me says, keep my mouth shut, whoever is doing the yelling, is only painting himself in a bad light and that I should continue to just let it roll off my back, just keep cool and smile, and another part of me tells me to address this issue, not during a gig of course.

Which part of me should I listen to?
 
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I would say something about it!
That person is wrong for doing that!
I have heard many samples of your live playing and you simply get it right 99.9% of the time.

I never comment about anyones mistake on stage. We all laugh at our mistakes and joke with each other about them.

I only mention a mistake if it is something that the musician does frequently. I only mention it a practice or in a private email. That is where criticism belongs!
I never belittle another musician. I mention a problem and I offer to run it with the band over and over to help them get it right.
 
I would say something about it!
That person is wrong for doing that!
I have heard many samples of your live playing and you simply get it right 99.9% of the time.

I never comment about anyones mistake on stage. We all laugh at our mistakes and joke with each other about them.

I only mention a mistake if it is something that the musician does frequently. I only mention it a practice or in a private email. That is where criticism belongs!
I never belittle another musician. I mention a problem and I offer to run it with the band over and over to help them get it right.

OK so one vote for adressing it nicely. Thanks Bob, great post BTW.

Perfect word to use in that conversation too, belittling. That's exactly how it feels.
 
Unless it is a total train wreck, The listeners don't even notice it!
So why bring attention to something that simply didn't matter?
That's just foolish! No one in the crowd notices one misplaced note. If they do, they forget about it by the next measure when the song sounds good again.

If it is a total Train Wreck, One of us will joke about it with the audience and everyone will laugh.
We never mention whose fault it was on stage.
 
Yeah, the "yelling" on stage must go. The stage is for performing and the rehearsals are for correcting. If you say something just say it like George Harrison told Paul........very calmly in a smooth British tone...."I won't play anything if you don't want me to".

On stage last week at our gig the bass player was playing the wrong note and the keyboard player had to walk in front him and (using hand signs) flashed a "D" to him! We all laughed it off afterward, rehearsed the tune again and nailed it.
 
I would address the issue at the appropriate time. It may feel to you that the whole situation is "rolling off your back" but I honestly believe it's going to catch up with you sooner or later if it hasn't already. Excuse me for channeling Dr. Phil but I don't think you would have brought it up if it wasn't getting under your skin even a little. Personally, I would be a bit offended. Beside, what's the point of giving you "the evil eye" immediately following a mistake on stage anyway? The error, which we all make, has already occured. Why address it at the moment. Immature and unprofessional in my opinion.
 
And really I don't mind getting called out onstage for stumbling, as long as it's done in an accepting, lighthearted way. I find that those "embarrassing" moments when I definitely DON'T nail something to be actually quite enjoyable, it's a source of a good laugh, my own stupid human shortcomings. Of course I try my hardest to not go there, but hey, when you fall off the track, you can't hide it.
Screwing up being an electrician is no laughing matter, but music? How can you possibly cause damage? I just wanna pump helium into some people. Lighten up!
 
Great advice to date Larry. All I can add is "thin end of the wedge". Give them an inch, & they'll take a mile. It's not right on a personal level, and really amature on a performance level.
 
That's totally unprofessional on his part, and you should say something. He's just asserting dominance over the drummer. All of your points are good, and maybe you should make them to him, but these days I'd be inclined to keep it nice and simple: 1) I don't need to hear that, 2) if you have a problem with my performance, talk to me about it off stage, and 3) FY.
 
I say 'very unprofessional' too.

How long have you played with this particular band? If it was just a one-off thing, I would just avoid playing with them in the future. This sort of thing makes them look very amateur and makes you look bad by association. I mean, a mistake which no one would caught had it not been for them freaking out about it is just uncalled for.

In my band, we all make mistakes all the time but never bring it up onstage. Luckily, we are all our own worst critics. So more often than not, we give ourselves the evil eye.

I hope you can hook up with a bunch of easier going guys. Life is too short, man.
 
It may feel to you that the whole situation is "rolling off your back" but I honestly believe it's going to catch up with you sooner or later if it hasn't already. Excuse me for channeling Dr. Phil but I don't think you would have brought it up if it wasn't getting under your skin even a little.

After considering your POV, I have to say that you're right Dr. Phil I mean Malti. What I thought of as "rolling off my back" was actually getting under my skin. I guess I've had about enough after last night, and now I have to say something.
The one guy who "yelled" at me, we get along fine, and he apologized as soon as the song was over, so that was really nice. The other guy and I, while we don't dislike each other, don't particularly click either on a personal level. He's the person I want to hold the mirror to.

I'm thinking email. We don't really rehearse much anymore, after we lost our star sax player, the bass player lost a considerable amount of fire for this project, and he was the driving force for most rehearsals and bookings. Besides, I would feel more comfortable that way, because he can react to it privately first, and he won't lose too much face. Is that a pussy way out?
 
Hey Larry,
One more vote for addressing this with the offending party. You shouldn't have to put up with this stuff.
 
Ahah, now I understand. Are we talking about the little stool who walked off stage in a childish fit a short while back? Email, I don't think so Larry. Nose to nose, then bail. You've had enough of this. You're a good guy, you want to keep on being a good guy, not a door mat. A super talented blues player such as yourself will have no problems getting a more fruitful gig. Weren't you going to hook up with the bass player & ex sax guy?
 
let he who is without screw ups on stage cast the first stone, or risk getting a drum stick in the back of the head. ive had my guitarest stop during a gig and start screaming at me waving his arms and all, turns out the reason everything sounds off is because of the fact he started the wrong song. needless to say people like this end up making themselves look like asses in the long run.
 
I say 'very unprofessional' too.

How long have you played with this particular band?


So more often than not, we give ourselves the evil eye.

I

Give ourselves the evil eye, I know that feeling lol

Been playing in this band since since early 2007, 3.5 years.

It's not that bad, not a dealbreaking situation, just a little thorn I have to extract.

I love the feedback I get here. It's getting so I discuss any music stuff here first even before my wife. DW is such a great resource. Drumming is a lifestyle for sure, and you can't truly understand it if you're not in the thick of it. I look at this place, among other things, as my own personal board of advisors. It totally adds to my life, I have a whole varied community of like minded intelligent people who freely offer their help. You guys and DW rock hard.
 
Unacceptable and unprofessional. On stage is absolutely the wrong place for this sort of thing. First, it makes your band look unhinged and amateurish, worse than the mistake itself. Secondly, if you made the mistake because you were somewhat on edge, getting yelled at will only put you even more on edge, and you likely won't be playing as well as you can through the rest of the set. In other words, it will have the opposite effect of what the yeller was trying to accomplish. Lastly, you know when you make a mistake. You don't need someone telling you what you already know. I would definitely bring this up and calmly mention, in no uncertain terms, that you will not tolerate it, and that the time to hash out issues is before or after a performance, not during one. The same thing happened to me in my last band, and I later made my opinion clear on the matter. The offending party was very apologetic and never did it again.
 
Yeah, sounds like BS from the guitarist, man.

Ignore it. Although, if there are errors being made that can't be let off, you might want to consider practicing and memorizing some more.
 
Ahah, now I understand. Are we talking about the little stool who walked off stage in a childish fit a short while back? Email, I don't think so Larry. Nose to nose, then bail. You've had enough of this. You're a good guy, you want to keep on being a good guy, not a door mat. A super talented blues player such as yourself will have no problems getting a more fruitful gig. Weren't you going to hook up with the bass player & ex sax guy?


Hmmm in person Andy? I would dread that. I want more opinions. I don't want to quit without having another paying gig. And I would feel like a baby quitting over minor stuff. I got over losing the sax player, this is peanuts by comparison. Unfortuneately this band is my most gigging band. Stage experience rules. And yes we were supposed to start a project with the bass player and sax player. The bass player had to get through a few higher profile gigs first (opening act for Los Lonely Boys) which he just finished, so now is the time to initiate that project.

let he who is without screw ups on stage cast the first stone, or risk getting a drum stick in the back of the head. ive had my guitarest stop during a gig and start screaming at me waving his arms and all, turns out the reason everything sounds off is because of the fact he started the wrong song. needless to say people like this end up making themselves look like asses in the long run.


He who is without screwups...ha ha I could totally use that angle, but instead I think I'm gonna focus on the futility of yelling at me. The mistake happened already. You're right Joey people make themselves out to be the buttplugs by acting in that manner. I think it's my responsibility as a friend to this guy to make him realize that he is the one making himself look bad. Ideally, I don't want to be on stage with someone who acts like that, but you just can't bail if things aint roses all the time. It's like being married, without the sex. No sexless marriages joke ha ha.
 
Except for good-natured teasing, calling someone out onstage for blowing a note, chord, or a lyric is unprofessional. The situation creates tension even if it's just an "evil eye", and tension effects everyone in the band negatively. If the audience picks up on it, which they usually do, their enjoyment of the performance is also lessened. You could approach the guy from the angle that he's ruining the band's vibe with his untimely remarks and that problems should be discussed offstage. If reason doesn't work, a 5A jammed up his nose will.

I worked with a bassist who would start to play out in front of the beat when he really got into a song. At the end of the song one of us would ask if he had someplace else to be or did he have enough coffee before the show. It was funny, got the point across without him feeling scolded and he'd pay more attention to the tempo, at least until the next weekend.
 
Hey Larryace,

Yeah, there's no way anyone should put up with that.

It's completely unprofessional, and yelling at someone just puts them on edge, usually causing them to make more mistakes.
You might remind that person that musicians rehearse because we ALL make mistakes, and rehearsal helps keep that to a minimum.

Sounds like he's got other problems, and he's "projecting" them at you.

If you wanna be a smartass, start (constantly) telling him that his guitar keeps going in & out of tune, his voice cracks, his keyboard has a weird crackle, his saxophone is developing a rattle, or whatever applies... get the other bandmates in on it, too, and have fun with it. You only live once, ya know?

Cheers,
C. P.
 
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