I've seen that happen to the screws on a bunch of different hardware.
If it's not too old a part, it might be under warranty, so check with your drumshop.
I use the tom in a snare stand, but I use the Pearl basket with the rubber cushions that have a lot of give (I bought a new stand for my snare too because it worked so well on the tom).
It doesn't choke the drums sound at all, and it doesn't need a lot of pressure to keep the drum in place when you pick it up & move it.
With the cushion basket and just snug tension, I haven't noticed any difference in the tom sound between the snare stand and on a RIMS. You just have to be aware of how tight you have the drum in the basket.
If you need to use a snare stand right now, try closing the basket some, and place the grips between the flanges of the hoop, then just close it enough to keep it from wobbling.
That should let the tom ring more than just plopping it down fully in the basket and closing it.
Good luck with it.