How to jam...?

Well a couple days ago, last Friday to be exact. I went to a bar to watch my drum teachers band play, and before I left they wanted me to play a song on his kit so I did, even though I didn't know what to do, he was telling me what to do in the back of the stage. But it was fun. But I'm wondering how can I get people in my school to open their minds about music and get a band going, so far I only got one person. We want to make a jazz fusion or a blues rock band. And I'm back sorry it's been a while since I last posted stuff. Any advice I would appreciate.

Congratulations! Was that your first time playing on stage? I have recently been invited to sit in as well but am still to self conscience when it comes to playing with some of the pros I know. But soon. Very soon. Anyway, do you only want to form a band and play with others in your school? If not, there are numerous on line resources for hooking up with other musicians who are looking to play. Depending on your geographic location, you might be surprised at who you could meet. Good luck!

Yeah it was my first time on stage. It was fun, but I'd rather play with people in my school other wise it would be weird if a 17 year old drummer were playing with a person in their 20's/30's.

Congrats, man. But don't count out older musicians. There's nothing weird about it, as long as the vibe is good and you all get along and can work together; not to mention they will probably have more knowledge, which may very well help you progress faster. But good luck in your search for a group. Another option is if you live in a big enough city there might be a section for these such things under classifieds.

Funnyman said:

Yeah it was my first time on stage. It was fun, but I'd rather play with people in my school other wise it would be weird if a 17 year old drummer were playing with a person in their 20's/30's.

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I agree with Travis, "Don't count out the older musicians". You could learn alot from them. I've often thought similiarly, "Who would want to play with a chick drummer"? You said you were open minded, so open it up Love!

Funnyman said:

Yeah it was my first time on stage. It was fun, but I'd rather play with people in my school other wise it would be weird if a 17 year old drummer were playing with a person in their 20's/30's.

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Michael Shreive was 19 when he played with Santana in 1969, woodstock.

Funnyman said:

Yeah it was my first time on stage. It was fun, but I'd rather play with people in my school other wise it would be weird if a 17 year old drummer were playing with a person in their 20's/30's.

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My son is 19 and has been playing for only 21/2 years. After playing for only 12 months (age 17), I encouraged him to join a band through a contact of our bass player's. I went with him to his audition just to check out they weren't dicks. They were good guys in their 30's & 40's. Just over a year later & my son is out playing decent gigs. The band are great, really entertaining. His progression was hugely helped by playing in this band. I've proudly watched him grow into a very capable drummer. His timing, dynamics, & performance skills (you know, the stuff that really matters) are especially strong. If you get offers to jam with, or even hook up with some older players, grasp that opportunity with both hands. I'll ask my son if he'll post something for you, or send you a PM, so you can relate directly to his experiences.

keep it simple said:

My son is 19 and has been playing for only 21/2 years. After playing for only 12 months (age 17), I encouraged him to join a band through a contact of our bass player's. I went with him to his audition just to check out they weren't dicks. They were good guys in their 30's & 40's. Just over a year later & my son is out playing decent gigs. The band are great, really entertaining. His progression was hugely helped by playing in this band. I've proudly watched him grow into a very capable drummer. His timing, dynamics, & performance skills (you know, the stuff that really matters) are especially strong. If you get offers to jam with, or even hook up with some older players, grasp that opportunity with both hands. I'll ask my son if he'll post something for you, or send you a PM, so you can relate directly to his experiences.

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Although I'm not as young as your son, I can relate in the sense that I haven't been playing long. I'm frequently hit with requests to play but quite frankly, I think I have a long way to go. Perhaps my problem is that I compare myself with others who have been playing much longer than me and are pro's or semi pro's. I would love to hear from other new drummers, including your son, as to how to overcome that initial fear and trepidation. Hate to keep bringing the gender issue into the mix but think mostly I'm asked for all the wrong reasons, like "Oh, female drummer! Wow, "Eye Candy"and "You're HOT, Cool". I'm not complaining at all. I can appreciate the novelty of a female drummer and have no problem with the doors it opens, because like I said, I'm just doing this for fun and as a crative outlet so I don't really care about the reasons. I appreciate the world for what it is and men for what they are. Maybe some feedback from some of the other (few) women would be appreciated. I have no delusions of granduer at this point in my life and no inclination to go pro. I just want to have fun and jam. How do I get past the insecurity? Seriously need help with this. Oh, and I will post a video of my drumming soon, for total honest feedback, cuz I know I'll get it here! Whether I like it or not!

Malti said:

Although I'm not as young as your son, I can relate in the sense that I haven't been playing long. I'm frequently hit with requests to play but quite frankly, I think I have a long way to go. Perhaps my problem is that I compare myself with others who have been playing much longer than me and are pro's or semi pro's. I would love to hear from other new drummers, including your son, as to how to overcome that initial fear and trepidation. Hate to keep bringing the gender issue into the mix but think mostly I'm asked for all the wrong reasons, like "Oh, female drummer! Wow, "Eye Candy"and "You're HOT, Cool". I'm not complaining at all. I can appreciate the novelty of a female drummer and have no problem with the doors it opens, because like I said, I'm just doing this for fun and as a crative outlet so I don't really care about the reasons. I appreciate the world for what it is and men for what they are. Maybe some feedback from some of the other (few) women would be appreciated. I have no delusions of granduer at this point in my life and no inclination to go pro. I just want to have fun and jam. How do I get past the insecurity? Seriously need help with this. Oh, and I will post a video of my drumming soon, for total honest feedback, cuz I know I'll get it here! Whether I like it or not!

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I am so glad you posted this because I am experiencing the same thing! Your post makes me feel a lot better. I am so NERVOUS to jam out with guys because I am a girl... I feel like I HAVE to be amazing to blow them away because they're so siked about a chick drummer. I don't want to ruin the hype. I've only been playing for 10 months now. Personally I think I'm pretty decent! But I shy away a lot. I'm trying not to, and actually made plans to cover songs with close guy friends. Hopefully that will be less intimidating.

Q

The only thing that will get you past any insecurities is if the desire to play outweighs the insecurities. Be brave! Seriously, what's the worst that can happen? Malti you told me once that you basically can't be embarrassed. Would messing up embarrass you? You'd be surprised what you're capable of when put into a sink or swim situation. Just follow the bass player! Nothing to it!

Your gender and looks will buy you plenty of get out of jail free cards. The minute you mess up, I'll bet money that at least one of the guys are going to take that opportunity to "teach" you. It will make them feel important and if you can stand it inside, there's no reason to be fearful of messing up, because it won't be held against you. In the least. They'll think it's cute. (In the beginning at least ha ha) You basically have diplomatic immunity. To waste the opportunity to use that power to get yourself over any insecurities would be a shame.

You learn the most from your mistakes. If you never make any, you are sure to progress more slowly than the ones who give it a try and fall on their face. So embrace mistakes. Take every opportunity to make them. And when you do, just watch all the attention you'll get. Everything is gonna be just fine. You're Malti for Christ's sake!

*&%n it Larry! You know me too well. Thanks for calling me on this. I DID say I wouldn't be embarassed, and I wouldn't. I would however, be "Self Conscience". Is that the same thing? Am I fooling myself? Anyway, I'm gonna go for it the next time I'm invited to sit in as long as I have the play list in front of me and can prepare. Whadda ya think? Yay or Nay?

Go for it Malti & Funnyman. I've just spoken to Elliott, & he'll post some stuff about his experiences in the next few days (just caught him flying out of the door). Of course, he can't enlighten anyone on the chick effect, but I believe his experience is very positive.

As for the cute chick effect Malti, you're just going to have to work through that. Of course, it will have a bearing on how you're perceived, but let your playing do the talking and tune your BS meter to super sensitive setting! Although I'd never advocate choosing bandmates on gender alone, you may find you'll flourish in a more relaxed way with female musos. I'm sure there's a bunch of female musos out there, holding back for the same reason. Good luck!

Cmon Malti, what a great opportunity to extract some nectar from life...It is very exciting to be up there. You love excitement! The only things that have truly made me feel happy and alive...were my own accomplishments. Getting past this particular stumbling block would be a major accomplishment for you, and you WILL feel good about it, no matter what happens. You just fearlessly put yourself out there, in all your imperfect humanness. That gets a ton of respect all by itself. If you mess up, you just keep going like nothing happened. There's no time for embarassment, it's detrimental anyway, who needs it?

Self consciousness is close enough to embarrasment in my book, they're both fears dealing with what others think of you. And I always got the impression you were past the stage where you are worried about what others may think of you.

(a post a while back where you implied that you don't wear underwear comes to mind)

This proves how important drumming is to you, because you are more sensitive to it.
I dare say that you probably would sooner flash your bare chest than play a tune with other musicians, am I right?

Like I said, everything will be fine. Everybody is too concerned with themselves and don't know anything about your self consciousness. They can't hear your inner dialouge. So suck that up, replace that tape in your head with the one where you are the undisputed Queen of your World, tell yourself that you're gonna do this, take a deep breath, and just say, "Sure, I'll play..." Nothing to it. The Dopamine will be flowing hard at that point, you'll stride up to the drums (looking fantastic) take your place, and off you go on the ride of your life!

The guys will be thinking, "Damn she's hot... And she is well grounded too because she's playing the drums". Good, bad, doesn't matter.
The women will be thinking, "Damn she's hot, I wish I had the guts and talent to do what she's doing...How can I keep my man from wanting her more than me".

What you do almost doesn't matter, because you were born with great looks, and you are just as humble as can be, at least when it comes to playing the drums, so I don't see how you can lose. Just being honest.
Have some fun!

Just another reminder...

YOU'RE MALTI! YOU ROCK!

You have super powers! You're fail-safe!


Hey Malti, the songs that you are likely to be playing, are you comfortable with them?
Maybe a smart thing to do is to get with whoever will be asking you to play ahead of time and agree on a few songs to do with them so you don't go up there totally cold, and just learn them front to back. Then, when it's time to rock, just go up there and act like you're doing this off the cuff. Project the illusion ha ha.

I really have no idea what your skillset is on the drums because you've never posted your playing. So it's either post some playing here first and get some critique first, or just go for it. Not going for it is not an option, you do know that, right?

Ok, two points first of all:

1) I DO wear underwear! (Sorry guys) Can't recall the particular thread but I believe I was just trying to get a rise out of some joker who was ultimately banned from the forum, and

2) No, would not flash my bare chest rather than play with other musicians. I've had two kids for cryin out loud. 16 months apart, breastfed and everything. I swear I was pregnant, recovering, and/or breastfeeding for 3 solid years. Do you know what that does to a woman's body? That's why God invented the "Wonder Bra" Love!

Now that I've cleared THAT up, You have inspired me Larry. You're right, what do I care? I may never see these people again, and if I do, it'll be because we had fun and made some music together. I can rock with these guys. I can.....right?

Damn right you can. And you should. Don't deprive yourself and everyone else!

Cmon in, the waters beautiful

Right on, Larry! You should be a inspirational speaker, you know that? But seriously, 99% of the people in the audience have no clue how to even set up a drum kit, let alone know how to play one. As for the dudes in the band, well...bat your eyes a couple of times and say "sorry" and I'd bet they change whatever was the problem to whatever you want to do. Sometimes I think we guys got shortchanged a bit, oh well.

Oh, and Larry, the songs would most definately be agreed upon before hand. I am a recovering perfectionist and would never go in unprepared. I will post my playing as soon as I can. Looking forward (sort of) to everyone's feedback.

It's cool Malti, no rush. Gotta imagine all the way it before you do it. But yeah, post some playing. We'll get you there. Talk about a great release. (playing drums w/ a band) Legal too. Always always always say yes, whenever you can, to playing w/ others. It's just what you do.