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  #241  
Old 12-03-2014, 04:13 PM
KamaK KamaK is offline
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Default Re: Possibly my first serious thread. Sexism.

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She does indeed, and not for the first time.

FOF Duncan's post below, one of my transgender friends (who hasn't completed transition yet) had an experience the other day which upset her considerably. She was having a drink with a friend, when a complete stranger came up to her and declared "I had no idea you were a man until I heard you speak."

That is ignorance and bad manners combined, in my view.
Yeah, that sounds seriously destructive.

I didn't realize that all of the trans people that I associate with were such fragile cowards, and that by not immediately divining their imaginary gender identity I was somehow causing them grave injury. I'd love to hear more about how weak they are.

Alternatively, we could use more realistic terms to describe our interactions and feelings, so that we don't look ridiculous. I have a funny feeling that porter, while correct in spirit, is young or ESL and has not fully grasped the dynamics of the language, or was simply being overly dramatic.

Sorry if I attacked anyone in a seriously destructive manner ;-)
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  #242  
Old 12-03-2014, 04:21 PM
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Midnite Zephyr Midnite Zephyr is offline
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Default Re: Possibly my first serious thread. Sexism.

This thread reminds me of why I go home everyday from work and just hide from the world. Now we have to redefined society to suit all the sensitive people just because they do something different in the bedroom. I mean this world is going bat-sh*t crazy with PC.
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  #243  
Old 12-03-2014, 05:01 PM
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BacteriumFendYoke BacteriumFendYoke is offline
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Default Re: Possibly my first serious thread. Sexism.

Zephyr, it's not about being 'sensitive'. I'm pretty resilient when it comes to personal insults about near-enough everything. There are one or two subjects that I don't tolerate insults about because I have experienced severe discrimination from others that have displayed ignorance and stereotyped inaccurately. I'm not going to say what they are but trust me, if anybody hit them here, they'd know pretty quickly.

I would say that pretty much everybody has a subject that they don't tolerate, for the same reason. For transgender individuals they face daily discrimination from a huge swathe of society, just as homosexuals have in the past (and they have nothing to do with each other, it's just an example). How do you change things? You point out that the language you are using is negative, offensive and ignorant. If you'd spent all of your life thinking that you didn't belong in the body that you were born with (and there is more grey there than people realise), I think you'd feel pretty f*&$ing sensitive if somebody attacks you, directly, accidentally or incidentally.

You've demonstrated pretty well that you don't understand transgender issues because you used the term 'in the bedroom'. Guess what? Gender identity has nothing to do with personal sexuality. Any implication therein is a false, inaccurate and incorrect assumption.
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  #244  
Old 12-03-2014, 05:30 PM
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Midnite Zephyr Midnite Zephyr is offline
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Default Re: Possibly my first serious thread. Sexism.

As a matter of fact, I do experience a sort of " "-ism and discrimination, humiliation and being talked down to. It's called fatism. I'm a fat guy, so I've experienced plenty of discrimination and feeling like I'm trapped in a body I don't feel like I belong in. People assume my condition comes from simply eating too much, which is a logical conclusion, but they don't know about my brain tumor that hangs off my pituitary gland. It screwed up my hormones and body chemistry. So, yeah, I'm different too by no choice of my own. But all other people see is a fat guy who "eats too much". The thing is, this type of discrimination is widely accepted, and I've been turned down from being in certain bands and jobs because of it. Most people are tolerant though, but my guitarist gives me sh*t about my weight all the time telling me I'm gonna get "the boot" if I don't lose some weight. I think he is just joking, at least, I hope he is.
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  #245  
Old 12-03-2014, 05:35 PM
KamaK KamaK is offline
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Default Re: Possibly my first serious thread. Sexism.

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Guess what? Gender identity has nothing to do with personal sexuality. Any implication therein is a false, inaccurate and incorrect assumption.
Agreed. Though when someone is born that does not fit into one imaginary binary existence (male/female), it is often difficult for them to fit in the other dependent imaginary binary existence (homo/hetro sexual).
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  #246  
Old 12-03-2014, 05:38 PM
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BacteriumFendYoke BacteriumFendYoke is offline
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Default Re: Possibly my first serious thread. Sexism.

You know those guys though, Paul. If it was somebody who first met you, made a joke about your weight, assumed that you simply ate too much and turned it into a joke based on their own ignorant world-view then wouldn't you be at least a little pissed off? I would.

I'll bite. I was struggling to do some maths at work once and somebody turned around and said 'Duncan, do you have learning difficulties or something?' and laughed. The fact is that I do have a learning difficulty that affects my ability to do mental arithmetic. It's contributed to a lot of problems in life - including severe depression. So, as you can imagine I was pretty pissed off with that person (who was somebody I was actually managing at the time). I had to bite my tongue and deal with it professionally but I was absolutely seething. This person was a constant source of irritation to me anyway and I wouldn't have been so irritated if it was somebody I didn't know (my learning difficulty is not obvious) but in some situations you could call me 'sensitive' about it.

Incidentally, I feel I was a little hard on you earlier.
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  #247  
Old 12-03-2014, 05:42 PM
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Default Re: Possibly my first serious thread. Sexism.

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Agreed. Though when someone is born that does not fit into one imaginary binary existence (male/female), it is often difficult for them to fit in the other dependent imaginary binary existence (homo/hetro sexual).
Yes but only in the semantic sense that 'hetero' and 'homo' categories are inherently binary.
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  #248  
Old 12-03-2014, 05:46 PM
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Midnite Zephyr Midnite Zephyr is offline
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Default Re: Possibly my first serious thread. Sexism.

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You know those guys though, Paul. If it was somebody who first met you, made a joke about your weight, assumed that you simply ate too much and turned it into a joke based on their own ignorant world-view then wouldn't you be at least a little pissed off? I would.

I'll bite. I was struggling to do some maths at work once and somebody turned around and said 'Duncan, do you have learning difficulties or something?' and laughed. The fact is that I do have a learning difficulty that affects my ability to do mental arithmetic. It's contributed to a lot of problems in life - including severe depression. So, as you can imagine I was pretty pissed off with that person (who was somebody I was actually managing at the time). I had to bite my tongue and deal with it professionally but I was absolutely seething. This person was a constant source of irritation to me anyway and I wouldn't have been so irritated if it was somebody I didn't know (my learning difficulty is not obvious) but in some situations you could call me 'sensitive' about it.

Incidentally, I feel I was a little hard on you earlier.
Hmmm. True. I feel you deserve a reply with something more substantial than I can give right now. I'm at work, but I'll get back to you later today. Just know that, I'm opinionated, but not set in my ways and open-minded to change my views. And, matter of fact, I've never attacked anybody verbally like that.
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  #249  
Old 12-03-2014, 05:52 PM
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Default Re: Possibly my first serious thread. Sexism.

That's cool mate. I'm definitely opinionated and quite stubborn so I think you've got one up on me in those stakes!
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  #250  
Old 12-03-2014, 08:31 PM
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Default Re: Possibly my first serious thread. Sexism.

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You've demonstrated pretty well that you don't understand transgender issues because you used the term 'in the bedroom'. Guess what? Gender identity has nothing to do with personal sexuality. Any implication therein is a false, inaccurate and incorrect assumption.
Yup.

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Originally Posted by KamaK View Post
Yeah, that sounds seriously destructive.

I didn't realize that all of the trans people that I associate with were such fragile cowards, and that by not immediately divining their imaginary gender identity I was somehow causing them grave injury. I'd love to hear more about how weak they are.

Alternatively, we could use more realistic terms to describe our interactions and feelings, so that we don't look ridiculous. I have a funny feeling that porter, while correct in spirit, is young or ESL and has not fully grasped the dynamics of the language, or was simply being overly dramatic.

Sorry if I attacked anyone in a seriously destructive manner ;-)
Eat me. Insensitivity is the privilege of people who don't have to deal with a world designed to disenfranchise and destroy them. Do you know how much depressing shit I have to deal with on a daily basis? Have you spent years contemplating suicide as the answer to the constant neuroses and confusion swirling in your head? And you call me a fragile coward and tell me to get over it? I'm not discussing these points any longer with you.

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"Ignorance is bliss"? I am married, to a woman, I have a mother, a sister and two daughters, one of them is very much an active feminist so I have 60 + years experience of life and female perspective. Assuming that because I am a man I have no idea what it is like, because I am not a woman, is frankly patronising and not helpfull to the cause of equality.
Ignorance was too strong a word, I apologize for that; I mean it in a light way– you are a man, and you haven't lived your life subject to this stuff. I don't blame you for it if it just doesn't happen in your community– if you genuinely don't see this kind of thing happening all around you, then that sounds like a pretty good community!
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Last edited by porter; 12-03-2014 at 09:06 PM.
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  #251  
Old 12-03-2014, 09:09 PM
KamaK KamaK is offline
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Default Re: Possibly my first serious thread. Sexism.

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Eat me. Insensitivity is the privilege of people who don't have to deal with a world designed to disenfranchise and destroy them. Do you know how much depressing shit I have to deal with on a daily basis? Have you spent years contemplating suicide as the answer to the constant neuroses and confusion swirling in your head? And you call me a fragile coward and tell me to get over it? I'm not discussing these points any longer with you.
Sorry, I was just responding to you, when you implied that transgender people were fragile and cowards and couldn't handle it when random idiots make ignorant "I thought you were a man" comments. When people use terms like "seriously destructive" and "attack", it diminishes the plight of those that really are attacked, and real "seriously destructive" events like beheadings, vaginal circumcision, forced castration, rape, beatings, etc.

Life sucks for all of us. Being overly dramatic on a forum helps none of us.

It is embarrassing when people's perception of us doesn't match our own, and that's all it is... embarrassing.
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  #252  
Old 12-03-2014, 09:30 PM
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Default Re: Possibly my first serious thread. Sexism.

I don't know if everyone noticed, but chivalry has nothing to do with the treatment of women. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chivalry
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  #253  
Old 12-03-2014, 10:06 PM
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Default Re: Possibly my first serious thread. Sexism.

Could respond. Won't.

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I don't know if everyone noticed, but chivalry has nothing to do with the treatment of women. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chivalry
Good to note for the future- I think y'all got the concept I was referring to anyways.
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  #254  
Old 12-04-2014, 03:26 PM
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Default Re: Possibly my first serious thread. Sexism.

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Originally Posted by porter View Post
Yup.



Eat me. Insensitivity is the privilege of people who don't have to deal with a world designed to disenfranchise and destroy them. Do you know how much depressing shit I have to deal with on a daily basis? Have you spent years contemplating suicide as the answer to the constant neuroses and confusion swirling in your head? And you call me a fragile coward and tell me to get over it? I'm not discussing these points any longer with you.



Ignorance was too strong a word, I apologize for that; I mean it in a light way– you are a man, and you haven't lived your life subject to this stuff. I don't blame you for it if it just doesn't happen in your community– if you genuinely don't see this kind of thing happening all around you, then that sounds like a pretty good community!
No problem Porter, forums are a difficult medium to get over a subtle meaning. I am very much a humanist, In that I find a person is a person, regardless.
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  #255  
Old 02-08-2015, 06:53 PM
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Default Re: Possibly my first serious thread. Sexism.

I just bought this PDP throne yesterday. Even the manufacturers are sexist. Is that a nut cushion or what?
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