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  #1  
Old 09-03-2013, 07:23 PM
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Default Several gifts from Brother-In-Law. (one a deflated ego)

My BIL, who is 27 and RETIRING from drumming to pursue Roller Derby(!!!), stopped by on Friday.

He brought me a few things from his garage:
* Roc-N-Soc Throne (barely used)
* Pearl Piccolo snare
* Couple of cymbal stands.

Those were all nice gifts.

But what he did next really was horrible...</sarcasm>

He asked if he could play my kit, and warned me that he hasn't played in close to a year.

He went on a 5 minute jazz/funk solo that left my jaw on the floor the entire time. I can't even comprehend how he played most of the groove. The speed, accuracy, and fluidity that he showed was awesome. When the solo was done, he handed me the sticks and said, "Now let's hear what you got." (Not in a condescending way)

My response: "F**K NO! I can't follow that. I'm retiring now too."

I went back to my regular practice routine, after he left.
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Old 09-03-2013, 07:41 PM
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Default Re: Several gifts from Brother-In-Law. (one a deflated ego)

Highly entertaining read. Thanks for sharing. I love the "retiring from drumming to pursue roller derby."

And, yeah, it is always demoralizing when someone is quitting something that you have a passion about and yet they have considerable more talent than you in it. Just seems wrong.
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Old 09-03-2013, 08:53 PM
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Default Re: Several gifts from Brother-In-Law. (one a deflated ego)

Ouch.

But he wouldn't be giving up if he were still feeling the lurve, would he - so I reckon you win (especially when you add in the hardware).
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Old 09-03-2013, 09:00 PM
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Default Re: Several gifts from Brother-In-Law. (one a deflated ego)

That was great! I think we have all been there before.

It does however play into my theory that there is a large part of playing any instrument that is purely natural ability. Despite what many of us will tell ourselves practicing for 8 hours a day does not ensure greatness. Some people are just born with IT. Sounds like your brother in law may be one of those people. It may also explain how at the ripe ol' age of 27 he can just give it up.
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Old 09-03-2013, 09:43 PM
brentcn brentcn is offline
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Default Re: Several gifts from Brother-In-Law. (one a deflated ego)

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Originally Posted by eclipseownzu View Post
That was great! I think we have all been there before.

It does however play into my theory that there is a large part of playing any instrument that is purely natural ability. Despite what many of us will tell ourselves practicing for 8 hours a day does not ensure greatness. Some people are just born with IT. Sounds like your brother in law may be one of those people. It may also explain how at the ripe ol' age of 27 he can just give it up.
I bet if we dig into the BIL's past we'll see a few things that very common among musicians that have what you call "IT":

- A great teacher, and lessons for a long period of time.

- Early exposure to playing the instrument within a band, and lots of encouragement to keep doing so.

- Lots of gigs under the belt.

- Experience and training on other instruments.

- Significant amounts of private practice.

My point is that practice alone won't do much for you, with or without "IT". Experience and training along the way are also vital.

Want to really get better? Get some gigs that challenge you, AND practice like hell, AND seek quality instruction. In a few years, you'll be the "natural" to other people.
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  #6  
Old 09-03-2013, 10:51 PM
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Default Re: Several gifts from Brother-In-Law. (one a deflated ego)

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Originally Posted by brentcn View Post
I bet if we dig into the BIL's past we'll see a few things that very common among musicians that have what you call "IT":

- A great teacher, and lessons for a long period of time.

- Early exposure to playing the instrument within a band, and lots of encouragement to keep doing so.

- Lots of gigs under the belt.

- Experience and training on other instruments.

- Significant amounts of private practice.

My point is that practice alone won't do much for you, with or without "IT". Experience and training along the way are also vital.

Want to really get better? Get some gigs that challenge you, AND practice like hell, AND seek quality instruction. In a few years, you'll be the "natural" to other people.
100% agree with you there. "IT" might exist, but until acted upon means nothing. I might have been born with a natural talent for football, but never practiced in my life. Get me a coach and time, and then we'll see.
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Old 09-03-2013, 11:01 PM
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Default Re: Several gifts from Brother-In-Law. (one a deflated ego)

Just some background on him:

- A great teacher, and lessons for a long period of time.

Self taught.

- Early exposure to playing the instrument within a band, and lots of encouragement to keep doing so.

He played in several bands. Jazz/Funk/Punk/Rock

- Lots of gigs under the belt.

Yes.

- Experience and training on other instruments.

None. Can't even hum a song effectively.

- Significant amounts of private practice.

Tons. Started at age 8.(I think) Always had a kit in the house. Still does. Just minus a few pieces now. ;)
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Old 09-04-2013, 12:06 AM
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eclipseownzu eclipseownzu is offline
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Default Re: Several gifts from Brother-In-Law. (one a deflated ego)

Didn't mean to hijack your thread there Rink, but thanks for adding info that more or less proves my point. I will assume that at an early age he picked up a set of sticks and the drums came naturally to him. He likely enjoyed it and kept with it.

I agree that a great teacher and tons or practice will get even the least naturally talented player to a high level. But there is something about those guys that can sit behind a kit and blow your mind even after extended periods off.

I equate playing the drums to an athletic endeavor. I played baseball my entire life and despite equal coaching and practice with other players I will never throw a 90 mph fastball or hit a home run in Yankee stadium. I really think natural talent plays a large part in musical ability.

Obviously not a popular opinion, but one that I have forged through years of watching other musicians.
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  #9  
Old 09-04-2013, 02:54 AM
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Default Re: Several gifts from Brother-In-Law. (one a deflated ego)

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Originally Posted by eclipseownzu View Post
Didn't mean to hijack your thread there Rink, but thanks for adding info that more or less proves my point. I will assume that at an early age he picked up a set of sticks and the drums came naturally to him. He likely enjoyed it and kept with it.

I agree that a great teacher and tons or practice will get even the least naturally talented player to a high level. But there is something about those guys that can sit behind a kit and blow your mind even after extended periods off.

I equate playing the drums to an athletic endeavor. I played baseball my entire life and despite equal coaching and practice with other players I will never throw a 90 mph fastball or hit a home run in Yankee stadium. I really think natural talent plays a large part in musical ability.

Obviously not a popular opinion, but one that I have forged through years of watching other musicians.
Oh, I agree. There are people that just have that natural ability for things.

My nephew is another great music example. He is now 13. When he was 10, he heard a song on TV, and without any prior piano experience, was able to mimic the song within minutes. Within a year, he was able to read music, and taught himself the guitar as well.

When I came back to drumming this spring, I was excited to be able to jam with him. Unfortunately, I found out that this year he has given up music, for Soccer & girls.

He said he still enjoys WRITING music, and playing it on his keyboard. But, that's only when he's BORED.
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  #10  
Old 09-04-2013, 06:24 PM
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Default Re: Several gifts from Brother-In-Law. (one a deflated ego)

The ego thing happened to me when I was just getting started. A visiting band attended one of our practices and the drummer sat in on my kit. I was ready to retire after about three years of experience (in 1964). Glad I didn't.
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  #11  
Old 09-04-2013, 08:42 PM
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Default Re: Several gifts from Brother-In-Law. (one a deflated ego)

great story, thanks for sharing. I agree with many here that there is a natural ability. I think I have a natural ability to be a basic drummer. I have practiced rudiments to get better all around. But I will never be the type of drummer that can do what your BIL did. The athlete analogy was a good one. But nobody has commented on the other gifts! Lucky man indeed. Would love that snare right now!
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  #12  
Old 09-04-2013, 11:57 PM
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Default Re: Several gifts from Brother-In-Law. (one a deflated ego)

I am an average player at best, my soloing is average, maybe. That being said i understand my abilities and my limitations. I figured out a long time ago while I will never be a soloist I do have the ability to lock in and lay down a groove. This has served me well, I gig most weekends as well as the occasional local recording session.


My point is that being a band member and serving the song can take you a long way.

Find a group of folks that have common goals, make some music and have some fun.

You play like you better than anyone else ;-)
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  #13  
Old 09-05-2013, 12:25 AM
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Default Re: Several gifts from Brother-In-Law. (one a deflated ego)

I learn the most from drummers I actually witness playing up close and personal. Having a great drummer to watch can be very beneficial to you, if you turn off the negative dialogue. You could even ask him for pointers. Most people love to spout their knowledge. Use the situation to your advantage. I mean, what if your BIL was Steve Gadd? Surely you would tap into that resource. Think of it like that. The gear is a nice bonus too. I see nothing but good in this scenario.
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  #14  
Old 09-05-2013, 05:23 AM
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Default Re: Several gifts from Brother-In-Law. (one a deflated ego)

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Originally Posted by larryace View Post
I learn the most from drummers I actually witness playing up close and personal. Having a great drummer to watch can be very beneficial to you, if you turn off the negative dialogue. You could even ask him for pointers. Most people love to spout their knowledge. Use the situation to your advantage. I mean, what if your BIL was Steve Gadd? Surely you would tap into that resource. Think of it like that. The gear is a nice bonus too. I see nothing but good in this scenario.
It was such a surprise to hear how good he really is. But to play after he did, kind of felt like having to follow a Steve Gadd solo, and I could only play with one stick.

I could listen to him play all day long, and would love to learn as much as possible from him. Unfortunately, he and my sister live 9+ hours away.

I'll be looking forward to the next time he is here, so I can annoy him to death with questions. (and make him play again) :)
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  #15  
Old 09-05-2013, 03:27 PM
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Default Re: Several gifts from Brother-In-Law. (one a deflated ego)

I figure there is always going to be someone better than me and I just move on.
I got beat in soccer, track and field, swimming, but I'm still here for the fun.
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  #16  
Old 09-05-2013, 05:50 PM
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Default Re: Several gifts from Brother-In-Law. (one a deflated ego)

What counts is "above the grass".
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  #17  
Old 09-05-2013, 07:17 PM
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Default Re: Several gifts from Brother-In-Law. (one a deflated ego)

Quote:
Originally Posted by rmandelbaum View Post
I am an average player at best, my soloing is average, maybe. That being said i understand my abilities and my limitations. I figured out a long time ago while I will never be a soloist I do have the ability to lock in and lay down a groove. This has served me well, I gig most weekends as well as the occasional local recording session.


My point is that being a band member and serving the song can take you a long way.

Find a group of folks that have common goals, make some music and have some fun.

You play like you better than anyone else ;-)
This is me. I'm not flashy at all, and refuse to do anything resembling a solo. But I keep a solid beat and generally have a good feel for what's appropriate for a song and environment. I have "retired" several times from drumming, but I know enough musicians that I often get calls to fill in on various gigs. While my playing is average, I attribute part of that to my personality in that I can get along with anyone and accept my role in the band (not the leader).
There will always be someone who plays better than you. Rather than get discouraged about it, try to learn as much as you can from them. Watch their technique and see what you can incorporate into your playing.
And above all, have fun! If it's not fun, then what's the point?
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