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Old 03-16-2015, 09:54 AM
Matt Bo Eder
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Default Kinda' ok with slowing down

Most of you that know what I do, know this is a year I've slowed down my playing somewhat. First I get taken off of my gig at the Happiest place on Earth, then I step away from my "cash cow" school gig for the first time in 30 years.

I've been happy with just going to work, and doing some home recording and playing very little out of the house these past two months.

But oddly enough, although I'm gung-ho to start other projects and get out there to play with other people (and I am subbing for Bermuda in one of his local rock bands when he goes off on tour with Weird Al - albeit once a month for maybe three months), I'm not losing any sleep over not playing constantly.

I'm wondering if there is something wrong with me or not? Next year I hit the big 5-0 and I'm wondering if I'd actually be upset if I wasn't playing with anybody at all. Or what if music didn't have anything to do with my life sooner than later?

In these last couple of months I've discovered what its like to really be there for my wife and my family, and I'm kinda' digging it. Without some musical project smoldering in the background, I'm not splitting my mind in two directions, and I'm sort of enjoying that. Question is, should I be?

I haven't done all that I've ever wanted to do as a drummer, but as I get older and look back on what I've gotten the chance to do as a working, actually-making-money-professional, you can't say I was just an instrument collector, that's for sure.

Of course, there's still that trio I might still bring to life soon. And there's a couple of collaborations I could impose myself upon when the time comes. But as of this week, I'm ok if they never happen. Is this disturbing to anybody? Some of you guys have taken years off, and I realize I've never taken time off. I wonder if I should? Thoughts?
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Old 03-16-2015, 02:38 PM
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No Way Jose No Way Jose is offline
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Default Re: Kinda' ok with slowing down

It comes and goes. But it never goes away.
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Old 03-16-2015, 02:46 PM
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Florian Florian is offline
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Default Re: Kinda' ok with slowing down

It's like the tide, Bo...it ebbs and flows but the water is always there.

Sonor SQ2/S Classix/Ascent
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Old 03-16-2015, 02:48 PM
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TTNW TTNW is offline
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Default Re: Kinda' ok with slowing down

Sometimes I think I'm slowing down (I'll be 52 in May) but I sort of agree with NWJ. How inspired and motivated I am waxes and wanes but wanting to play with others never goes away.

I think you have just gotten to that point, especially with your recent release from Mauschwitz ;-) that it's OK to take a bit of a break.

Certainly don't second guess yourself so much that you start feeling bad about it.

Consider this next phase like a new section of music that you haven't played before that has a bunch of open spaces in it. Throw in a little "less is more" and you're in a nice slow ballad with the Mrs. for a while.

Enjoy it.
Philippe - Eat, Sleep and Drum.. .. it makes for a good weekend.
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Old 03-16-2015, 03:10 PM
bub72ck bub72ck is offline
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Default Re: Kinda' ok with slowing down

You will come back to it as long as the fire is still burning. It may be down to just the pilot light at this point but don't second guess yourself over your desire to play music. If you stopped because you were hooked on drugs maybe there is a problem, but you said you "have discovered what it's like to really be there for your family". There isn't anything much better than being all-in as a husband and father. Just take life one day at a time and you will know when the time is right.
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Old 03-16-2015, 03:14 PM
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8Mile 8Mile is online now
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Default Re: Kinda' ok with slowing down

I went through my slowing-down years back when I did have a wife and young child. Now, I'm wanting to play more than ever. So I can't relate right now, but I've gone through a period where I didn't really play much. All I can say is, the need to play music came back with a vengeance. Your mileage may vary, but I doubt it. Just a hunch.
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Old 03-16-2015, 04:19 PM
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larryace larryace is offline
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Default Re: Kinda' ok with slowing down

My guess is it's a temporary phase. Hey it could last a year, who knows maybe more, but my guess is something will come down the pike that will grab you by the soul. You have loads of vitality left and many many years ahead of you still.

Besides, it's futile thinking one is in control of their path. I feel like I'm a leaf floating down a river, with no power to change that river. I'm just along for the ride. I have no idea what's in store in the future.

I have no idea the events planned for me that I haven't experienced yet. It's all one big surprise.
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Old 03-16-2015, 07:25 PM
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Polska Polska is offline
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Default Re: Kinda' ok with slowing down

I just turned 51 and over the last few years I've been busy, but more selective. I'm perfectly okay slowing down and just playing the gigs I want to play. No more taking one (especially freebies) just because. I love to play, but I'm getting to where I want to enjoy the gigs more. That's cool though. Kind of like my day job. I don't want to go for positions there "just because", if I'm not going to enjoy it.
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Old 03-16-2015, 07:43 PM
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2bsticks 2bsticks is offline
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Default Re: Kinda' ok with slowing down

It's a pretty big commitment on your life to do this drumming thing. It might be nice to step away (not completely) and focus on family or other interests a bit more. Like the others are saying, for right now it might be what you need? You could also get rejuvenated after a bit of time away.

I'm 61 and very busy between my day job and playing in two bands and sometimes I look at the schedule and cringe. I am gratefull that I work so much but it's also getting harder to keep up physically. I need to get two daughters through college :-( So I need to do it which takes a bit of the fun out of it.

Good luck with whatever you decide, we will all still be here :-)
Yamaha, Slingerland, Zildjian, Sabian.
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Old 03-16-2015, 08:42 PM
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alparrott alparrott is offline
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Default Re: Kinda' ok with slowing down

Unless drumming pays all the bills, it's usually not realistic to put it as a first priority in one's life. My day job has forced me away from any real playing for the last eight months, and I even turned down my lucrative and beloved summer theater gig this year to actually get some down time for me and the wife to relax for real. So I can completely sympathize with you.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and when you do get back into it, your passion will probably be evident.
Al Parrott
"Jus suum cuique"
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