Too good, or too busy???

I know that many of the bands that played the club I managed would arrange meet-n-greet sessions where people PAID to meet the band. To expect somebody to give you their time for free is incredibly insulting and points to some serious entitlement issues. I know what my time is worth, I negotiate it once a year. I will assume the drummer in question also knows what his time is worth. So for you to ask for even a minute of his time and expect that he will just make that time available is naïve.
 
lol calm down here guys...we arent talking about a major famous drummer. Just a sideman with a decent gig....

You guys are acting like I am asking to take a pic with Phil Colins or Ringo or something.
 
Just trying to help. You said you were friends on Facebook but didn't mention his degree of notoriety. I am friends on Facebook with a gorgeous model and fashion designer and her two brothers but I don't think she would give me an audience if she came to town.
 
I remember a boxing day party at Bill Ward's place in Huntington Beach back in the 80's. Bill Ward knew my uncle Bill and he had a party at his duplex apartment downtown. The party was in one apartment, and he kept all his drum gear in the other apartment. He was kind enough to bring me and my sister over to the other apartment and show us his gear. Needless to say, I was very impressed and it solidified my desire to be a drummer.
 
Not that people are clamoring to say hi to me while I'm on the road, but I do get a number of requests to catch up before a show or on a day off. It's a balance of Al fans, forum & facebook friends, garnered over more than 22 years of being online (not that there's anything wrong with that!) and personal friends and relatives.

As several members here will attest, I am typically available and look forward to putting faces with (user)names. But there are reasons that I may not be able to connect, including prior commitments with friends/family/industry, travel/time constraints, or venue constraints, and I know that other touring musicians have the same kind of conflicts. On the other hand, local gigs are usually a different thing altogether, and much easier to shake a hand and take a pic.

But no player should be so busy that they cannot respond, even if it's a stock reply saying that they get a lot of emails/msgs and can't always digest each in a timely manner. If they are simply too busy to deal with casual contact, there's auto-reply and ways to avoid receiving messages. If a message was read, it deserves a reply.

Bermuda
 
bermuda said:
Not that people are clamoring to say hi to me while I'm on the road, but I do get a number of requests to catch up before a show or on a day off. It's a balance of Al fans, forum & facebook friends, garnered over more than 22 years of being online (not that there's anything wrong with that!) and personal friends and relatives.

As several members here will attest, I am typically available and look forward to putting faces with (user)names. But there are reasons that I may not be able to connect, including prior commitments with friends/family/industry, travel/time constraints, or venue constraints, and I know that other touring musicians have the same kind of conflicts. On the other hand, local gigs are usually a different thing altogether, and much easier to shake a hand and take a pic.

But no player should be so busy that they cannot respond, even if it's a stock reply saying that they get a lot of emails/msgs and can't always digest each in a timely manner. If they are simply too busy to deal with casual contact, there's auto-reply and ways to avoid receiving messages. If a message was read, it deserves a reply.

Bermuda
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Thanks, man I have never actually heard of you. :( BUT i see you post a lot of responses on here.
A reply just seems like courtesy to me, especially if read receipts are visible. Only my opinion though. Like others have said they dont owe me anything.
 
93civEJ1 said:
A reply just seems like courtesy to me, especially if read receipts are visible. Only my opinion though. Like others have said they dont owe me anything.
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True, they don't owe everyone a piece of their time, but the courtesy of a reply isn't asking too much. It just takes a moment to respond with something brief and gracious: "Thank you for your kind words. Unfortunately, my schedule on tour is often unpredictable, and it's difficult to honor every request to meet up. Thanks for understanding, [drummer]"

Well, it's better than no response at all.

Bermuda
 
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"If a message was read, it deserves a reply"
I agree in principle and I respect this point of view especially if a person is flooded with messages, but maybe not an instant reply.
Did the OP expect a reply the same day, the next day, the same week?
I'd consider the same week reasonable for a fb pm.

Some people including myself have the bad habit of checking messages in funny places while waiting for something, without necessarily having to time to write a reply, and then reply much later. Clumsy as it may be, it's not with bad intentions.
 
picodon said:
Some people including myself have the bad habit of checking messages in funny places while waiting for something, without necessarily having to time to write a reply, and then reply much later. Clumsy as it may be, it's not with bad intentions.
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Along those lines, I will often read a msg/email and knowing that it concerns a date far in the future, and won't necessarily reply right away. Unfortunately, there have been occasions where a message drops far down the list, and I don't get to it until it's too late. For instance, I just stumbled upon an email from the folks at Drumeo, sent in January, regarding my Vancouver visit in September. I never handled it, although I would have enjoyed connecting with them, and now I need to write an apology so I don't look completely irresponsible (or snooty.)

Bermuda
 
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