Thanks DW for helping me figure it out ...

Daisy

Senior Member
I don't know if this is pointless or not but I've had a Eureka moment and want to share ...

I'm new around here. I posted in another thread about how I left my band because I couldn't stand the pre-gig nerves and beating myself up afterwards about everything that went wrong. Then I read the "Feel / technique" thread - all of it.

Since I plucked up the courage to try out for and eventually join a band, I constantly swing backwards and forwards between "I suck" and "No, I'm quite good actually". I expect everyone thinks that, but my problem is I do genuinely suck, but on the other hand still felt I had something to offer a band. I couldn't figure out whether I had the right to call myself a drummer or not.

And now I've got it. I am fairly (or perhaps "potentially" would be a better word) good in that I am quite musical, have good timekeeping, and play with a bit of expression/dynamics - and where simplicity is required, I rock. But my technique sucks so (to sort of quote from a post in that thread) I don't have the "vocabulary" and can't always "say" what I want to say. That's obviously going to happen quite often in a 2 hour set, hence the beating myself up afterwards.

I have to admit it to myself - I'm one of those mentioned in the thread who is just lazy, didn't practice enough, didn't focus on rudiments as I should have done, and thought my timekeeping and "feel" would get me though. And I'm now paying the price.

So - basically - pointless I guess - but just wanted to say thanks to everyone who contributed to that thread. And now I'm off to practice my rudiments !!!
 
It matters not when you start. What does matter is how earnest you are in your practice space.
Drumming is supposed to be 100% joy, don't forget that.
If you down yourself one more time here, I'm coming after you to beat you with a pillow. Please don't set a bad example by downing yourself, you need to do the exact opposite. Lie to yourself if you must in the beginning, but you really need to fake it until you make it.

Fill your head with self affirming statements, only good thoughts allowed, and learn to recognize when the self mutilation starts to occur. Then kick your own butt for allowing yourself to think those destructive thoughts. Do you really want to tear yourself down? Is that how you would want the ones you love to behave? No? Those same people feel the same about you, so don't let them down.

You're going to be one of DW's success stories here. Keep talking it out here.
 
LOL, larry. I didn't mean to sound "down" in my post. I'm actually feeling quite joyful.

I'm celebrating the fact that I was right that there is indeed something good in my playing,and that I'm not suffering from some non specific, personality or age or gender based self doubt: it has a basis - ie the something lacking on the technical side. I've always been aware of that but not really how it affected how I felt about my playing. But that's something I can address now, with some work.

It all seems obvious now, but I really hadn't realised all this before reading that thread.

I'm feeling very very positive !!
 
Haha Larry,

You're so inspirational. Way to nurture the new members.

I even feel better about myself and my periodic bouts of self loathing.

Welcome Daisy, you're in good company here!
 
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