How much to put up with?

Gotta admit, there's something really fascinating about a musician who's pouting and acting like a baby because you won't turn his volume DOWN enough.

drumphile said:

HAHA you went Buddy Rich on him !

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Which you can get away with regularly, if you are Buddy Rich!

Letting your emotions get the best of you is never professional, even in a rehearsal. You could have said everything that you did in a low, calm voice. If it were me, I would apologize to the band for losing my temper (not for saying what you did, but for how you said it). Explain how you noticed his behavior early on. Right now that percussionist is telling anyone who will listen about how you lost your cool, and you don't want that reputation. Bad news travels faster and further than good...

It's pretty obvious that the percussionist is simply a snob. He looks down on your band, because he feels his own band has more artistry. He wants to earn money, but he doesn't want his own band to think he's a "sellout", so he gives mixed signals, because he himself has mixed feelings. He's so embarrassed he turns himself DOWN, and won't look up during performances. It's unfortunate that he can't keep his emotions under control while performing or rehearsing, and until he learns to do that, he probably won't be able to keep a gig.

Seems to me his mouth was saying one thing while his actions practically screamed just the opposite.

I can see your point though. Always sucks to see someone get fired, especially since you were the guy to get his ousting happening. But again, he was the guy actually pulling the trigger on himself. You just happened to be the one to call him on it.

i couldn´t hear the percussionist at all.

i don´t think you need him...you guys are GREAT !!!!!

i can see that you would want one, but i don´t think it´s necessary.

no one wants to part ways with a kindred spirit even if there are disagreements on how to get there.

it sounds to me like his phone calls were an attempt to suck it up and continue even though he wasn´t in full agreement on direction. his cancellation of plans to get back and do the show, demonstrate his dedication.

seems to me he didn´t want to be a quitter on a project that he REALLY believes in, so he stuck with it until the wheels fell off.

noble. and sad.

hope it all works out one way or another.

did i mention, you´re in my top two drummerworld drummers ?

hang in there.

IMHO - you have nothing to feel guilty about. The rest of the band should have taken action well before this point. Stopping playing is totally unacceptable, period. Finish the gig or rehearsal and then address the problem. Or at least talk it out with the rest of the band - don't sit there and be a mime. It just doesn't sound like this guy was a fit for your band, regardless of the material you play.

On edit - I watched the video - you had a very nice solid groove on that song! Very nice vocal and the lead guitar solos were very sharp. As others have said, I couldn't hear anything the percussionist was playing, so I don't know why you need him.

brentcn said:

Letting your emotions get the best of you is never professional, even in a rehearsal. You could have said everything that you did in a low, calm voice. If it were me, I would apologize to the band for losing my temper (not for saying what you did, but for how you said it). Explain how you noticed his behavior early on. Right now that percussionist is telling anyone who will listen about how you lost your cool, and you don't want that reputation. Bad news travels faster and further than good...

It's pretty obvious that the percussionist is simply a snob. He looks down on your band, because he feels his own band has more artistry. He wants to earn money, but he doesn't want his own band to think he's a "sellout", so he gives mixed signals, because he himself has mixed feelings. He's so embarrassed he turns himself DOWN, and won't look up during performances. It's unfortunate that he can't keep his emotions under control while performing or rehearsing, and until he learns to do that, he probably won't be able to keep a gig.

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IMO you hit the nail on the head.

Dairyairman's new prima donna percussionist problem sub-forum is a good idea - lots of PDP's around. I'd vote that it be called Dear Brent

Yep, I know I shouldn't have lost my cool like that... but it was stewing for quite a while, and this happened about an hour and half into rehearsal, so i was sitting there watching the crap for long enough before i finally had enough.... I don't think I mentioned that before I had my outburst, I was trying to lighten his mood and make things less "tense"... didn't work, and him looking at me and shaking his head with his fingers in his ears, then packing up a drum just made me see red... oh well...

As an update, we had a percussionist sit in with us on our gig tonight and it was AWESOME... this guy ran rings around our old percussionist... and incidentally, when we were originally looking for a percussionist months ago, he had replied to our ad at the same time as our old percussionist but we went with the other instead.. go figure...

DumDrum said:

Yep, I know I shouldn't have lost my cool like that......

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Personally, I don't see much wrong with it. He was being a tosser and you boiled over. No biggie. I wouldn't have sat back and held my tongue either. Nor would I feel the need to apoligise to the band for addressing a problem that everyone else was happy to ignore. Maybe it could have been handled better, maybe not....sometimes things just happen on the spur of the moment. Either way you made your point and it was a fair one.

No harm, no foul for mine.

Pocket-full-of-gold said:

Personally, I don't see much wrong with it. He was being a tosser and you boiled over. No biggie..

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Yup, I'll go with that. Nice band vibe BTW, & some tasty groove drumming there. I especially like your ride work. Pity about the audience lack of involvement, I'd have been spilling my beer with jiving! May I humbly suggest definite song endings invite an audience reaction rather than the gentle live fade approach.

I'm with you all the way. You were trying to work it out but he pushed you over the edge. You were just being honest. Your band leader made the decision to fire him, that's not your fault or responsibility. He's the leader and is making the tough call to benefit the whole group.

And don't forget the door is never completely shut. If the percussionist really wants to be in the band, he'll apologize and change his behavior. Everything can go back to what it was, but the problem will be fixed. And if he doesn't want to change and play with the band, well eff him.

criz p. critter said:

Your band leader made the decision to fire him, that's not your fault or responsibility. He's the leader and is making the tough call to benefit the whole group.

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This is the crux of the issue. From what you'd said it seemed that nobody cared about the percussionist's bad behaviour except you, but the bandleader wouldn't have sacked him if he wasn't quietly irritated too.

And if the behaviour only irritated him a little bit he wouldn't have sacked him but he would have just had a chat and suggested that the guy should play nice. It seems to me that your role was just to give the leader an excuse to push the perc. out. Also, if the leader thought there was any chance that the perc. would have been capable of compromise he would have just told him to lift his game - to let himself be mic'd to an appropriate volume and stop having tantrums.

It's hard to deal with people who are dragging the chain when you're in a band of mellow personalities. Been there done that, still doing it. One day I'd like to join a band with a leader, and one who is a hardarse. Weirdly, I think it would be easier in many ways.