Having a down period - I feel "locked" and I'm thinking too much...

Hi everyone!
First of all - I'm currently drumming a whole lot, practising during daytime, and doing several gigs and rehearsals..
Lately I've been having some troubles during gigs and rehearsals.. I feel really "locked" and I'm thinking too much about what I'm actually playing, and this makes my playing suffer - A LOT! I mean, when I'm relaxed and not focusing on my own stuff (my ego) I play much better, with better feel. But where I'm at now I'm having a really hard time not to play "locked". What I mean about that, is that I can play a groove, and if I do some small variations of it, it can throw me off right away, even though I know how to do it - it's simple stuff. The problem is that I'm playing some pro-level gigs, and there's a lot of pressure (and loops, clicks etc, so everything have to be in perfect time, or as close as I can).
I've played smaller gigs during high-school etc, but now when I'm taking my year off just practising and gigging, these problems happen.
This especially happens during high-pressure moments, like important live performances or while recording.
BUT it doesn't happen when I'm on my own, even when I'm doing drum solos in front of a huge crowd, because then it's only ME. I think my fear is that I'll screw up for the other members of the band, by throwing them off, or playing mistakes. When I think about it, I KNOW this is my fear...
But I don't know how to "let go" of this. I'm a VERY "nice" guy, always wanting to make sure everyone else is ok, and this might be some of the problem. I'm also a perfectionist, especially when it comes to time, so these two combined makes me "lock into" something familiar and pretty easy, and if I do something else, like a fill, or something improvised, I panic, fail or make it happen, but with a terror inside of me...

I need some serious help, I need mental strategies, and whatever I can get!
This is pulling me down, and it's really demotivating, because I know I could be having more fun and playing much better than I do.
This is brutal, and is killing a lot of my motivation and joy! But I won't give up, not at all, but I'm just really hoping that someone can help me (especially pro players! Because that's what I'm playing with now, even though I don't look at my self as a pro, even though I'm getting payed for what I do)

I hope some of this makes sense... Arh, I gotta go to bed. I just can't understand how players like Sanchez and Igoe can play all that crazy stuff, have perfect time, and look like they couldn't care less if they mess up.
Is it all experience, and must I just "push" through, until I have a magic revelation, or can I do something about this now? While practising? While playing live?

Everything is appreciated!
Have a great day/night/morning/whatever, depending on where you live, hehe!
Yours sincerely,
Zorlee!

Hey, I know how you feel. Within the last six months I went from playing with longtime friends in my own house, working on an album with material I knew through and through and was comfortable with, and staying away from gigs until the album was done, to playing material I had just learned, with four dudes I barely knew, at larger venues and in front of larger crowds than I have ever dealt with before. There was a lot of pressure to nail everything perfectly, and I barely even knew the material. I learned two full length albums and part of an EP in like a week. Not to say that this is exactly the same situation you're in, but you mentioned playing some pro-level gigs so I figured it was relevant.

I have never in my life been nervous about a show until the last six months, and it really messed with me for a while there. Still does once in a while, before certain gigs. I mean, it caused me to make some pretty huge mistakes. Mistakes like forgetting parts of songs, dropping sticks, getting way off the click, that sort of stuff. The pressure got to me bad.

You've just got to avoid building certain rehearsals or gigs or even certain songs up in your head to be this huge thing that gets you out of your comfort zone. I always take 5 or 10 minutes alone before a show and just kind of chill. No sticks in the room, no warming up (obviously you should always do warm-ups, but just take a second to relax), no thinking about the show or the music or how the kit sounds or the monitors or anything else. Just kind of a moment of calm before the storm, you know? I wouldn't say meditation exactly, but just kind of getting your head in the right place. You have to be comfortable, or all else is lost.

Above all, don't worry. The more you worry about it and think about it the bigger it gets in your head, you know? Just relax and have fun, work hard, and the rest will fall into place. Everyone hits this point sooner or later.

Just out of curiosity, what bands are you playing with?

Well, I'm doing different stuff. I've been doing a lot of musical-theater stuff (45+ musicians in the orchestra!) playing the musical "Olver!" - a pretty huge production over here! At the moment I'm playing with a couple of pop-bands. I'm not a member of the band, they just use me as their drummer for some things. So it's been situations where I have one day to learn a whole show etc.

I'll try not to worry about it, but man, it's hard!
I might just have to work really, really hard to over-learn all this stuff... I don't know!

Hey Zorlee, It sounds like you need to relax a bit. Take a walk/run/swim on a regular basis. Try some meditation , listen to some relaxation cds. Have a break from drumming, try something different.
Don't be so hard on your self, go easy on yourself. Every body gets in these ruts. Remember if its not fun it's hard work. Drumming should be fun..

I think there are some real gems here in this thread called 'Players & Practicers' that you might find useful:

http://www.drummerworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35523



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Crusto 62 said:

Hey Zorlee, It sounds like you need to relax a bit. Take a walk/run/swim on a regular basis. Try some meditation , listen to some relaxation cds. Have a break from drumming, try something different.
Don't be so hard on your self, go easy on yourself. Every body gets in these ruts. Remember if its not fun it's hard work. Drumming should be fun..

Click to expand...

Bingo! That's very good advise.

Sometimes you need to inject other things into your life besides drums and music. I feel that I get my inspiration to play from the expeiences I go through away from the drums, not just from other musicians. Take some time for yourself and maybe hang out with some non-musician people and do some non-musical things. I'm not suggesting to quit playing or not get your daily practice. Just suggesting to "take a break". I think you'll feel a bit more relaxed and inspired to play. You're obviously doing fine or these people wouldn't be calling on you to play.

Sounds to me like your afraid of failure. Like who you are as a person rides on wether or not you do a good job on something. Its no way to live friend. PM if this makes sense to you.

You are getting paid to do a job, do it to the best of your abilities by putting an honest effort towards it, its like any other job. You work you get paid.

Some nights you will be more on than others, that's just the way it is.
This happens to everyone, but only you will know it.
I've done gigs where I didn't feel at home for the most part, and after those same gigs my band would comment on how fantastic the gig went, I would agree and say "Okay" to myself. To them everything was executed great.
That's when I began to realize that not every band member will have a great night every night. At the end of the day you have to ask yourself, how did it sound as a whole. Not how did I sound or play. you are not up there by yourself, and your not there to prove anything to anyone. You and your band are putting on a performance, your main objective is to entertain the crowd who is paying good money to watch you perform. Smile and put on a good show, play your heart out. Your not practicing you are performing!

I wrote an article recently that discusses some of the issues you mention ( posted to myspace site and drumchannel) I used it for some drum sites and also in a class I recently took. It covers some ideas about getting 'hung up' at times for various reasons. I hope it helps!

Defeating defeatist behaviors


Drumming and music are activities that demand both a development of technique through practice and an ability to create 'in the now' in many situations. While both concepts can work together to help a person become a better musician there are times where they can also overlap and possibly counteract what the performer is trying to achieve either in the practice room or in a live performance.


Performing in the practice room


The practice room is where you want to refine what you know; break concepts down, practice coordination, learn new material and basically open yourself up to a well…sometimes humbling experience. For instance, making the transition from being a rock drummer to a jazz drummer can be very difficult at first. However, the goal of practicing and learning is to challenge yourself and attempt things you do not yet have a strong grasp at understanding. This is how we grow. One observation I have made with myself and others is that people do not always scrutinize themselves or attempt to learn new things. People can spend large amounts of time playing what they already know rather than practicing what they do not. This can create a false sense of security. While it's a good practice to work on refining styles, grooves and techniques already learned, it will not necessarily prepare you for a wider variety of styles. Understanding music notation was something I focused on to improve my overall picture of music. Improving my own reading skills helped me hear things differently as well. So, when you are practicing, take some time, evaluate your routine and be honest. Are you learning anything new? Are you performing something you already know? If the answer is the latter, you are probably impeding yourself by staying too close to your comfort zone.


Practicing during performance


Another area in which I have corrected over time involves resisting "practicing" while performing. Many of us have played in a situation where the material is not always something as fun or interesting as we would like. Eventually performing live can result in "science experiments" that are not always agreeable. Sometimes space is simply more desirable than clutter, and an untried “cool” idea may in reality be clouding up the sonic landscape. While it is true-sometimes great music, art or ideas happen by mistake- it is also true that contrived unnatural playing can also result in something better left in the practice room. The questions in this case would be are you playing music? Are you playing a practiced routine that might not be enhancing the other musicians? Are you being honest enough with yourself to hear and know the difference?


Anxiety during performance or practice


Anxiety is something that can occur in either a live performance (fear or stage fright) or in a practice situation (frustration or a lack of concentration). In either case, the result is usually not good. I can remember having bouts of anxiety before performances that felt completely uncontrollable at the time. One particular instance stands out from when I was at the University of Pittsburgh preparing for a recital of a Marimba piece with piano accompaniment. My own practice schedule was intense pushing tempos during rehearsals far beyond the required speed. I felt very confident. On the day of the recital, nervousness took over from a lack of experience performing classical music, and the comfort of a band to "hide behind". Frankly, it felt nerve racking. Nonetheless, I pulled it together that day and went into the room to perform. I counted the piece off signaling the pianist and we were off. I played the piece probably as fast as I had ever played it and while there were few errors my ‘inner judge’ (helpful in the practice room-not so good while performing) started an ongoing critical essay of the situation causing my mind to wander and worry. Eventually, I stopped dead in my track-to a silent room. It seemed as if everyone (myself included) was stunned. Pulling it together, I finished the piece to some very gracious and loud applause but I felt awful for giving up on the piece and ultimately, myself. Afterward, many of the other musicians I spoke with were surprised because they had not noticed my mistakes during my initial performance. Suddenly, I realized the problem was from my own internal analysis. Overconfidence without experience was a culprit, along with my own internal critic constantly chastising in my head.



Much time has passed since that recital and I have learned that performing at least needs to have an element of fun to it. I learned over time mistakes can and do happen, even the best performers will make them and it is a matter of finding a way to work with them or navigate your way out of them without simply stopping or letting them further interrupt the flow of what you are doing. This comes from experience and part of it is coaching your way through the nerves by thinking and feeling positive about what you do rather than being overly critical of yourself. Ultimately, it is not a matter of life or death. Similarly, when practicing it may be difficult to stay focused but for different reasons. As previously stated, practicing is a time for learning, trying new ideas, and a time of growth. Often new exercises won’t develop as easily as we would like due to roadblocks which can be physical, mental, or a combination of both. Feelings of frustration can take over, making the entire learning process even more difficult. Patience is a must to continue to move forward. Recalling concepts such as 'baby steps' can assist such progress. Any exercise can be broken into smaller sections and then built back up again. I love the old expression "How does one eat an elephant? One piece at a time!" because I feel it applies to so many things when learning. I have had students who were on the verge of quitting after frustrating points with their progress. Stressing to them the concept of smaller pieces building a whole can be very helpful. Those feelings and thoughts of ‘I can't’ are replaced by ‘I can’ and a ‘defeatist behavior’ is defeated.


Ultimately music is an art that involves some science and frequently hard work. Keeping the various details of the learning process in check is all part of being a drummer/musician. It's also a bit of a balancing act between emotions, thought, skill and experience. Having an honest assessment of your own practice habits and performance behaviors will keep you on the right path to grow, learn and enjoy your own experience as a drummer.

Additional thought: Check out the book "Effortless Mastery" by Kenny Werner. Maybe it'll help - maybe it won't. It's helped me get out of my head a bit more of late.

Wow!
Thank you guys so much for all the good information! I really appreciate it guys!
I have to find my way of "letting go" and just enjoy what I'm doing, while always being confident in the fact that I can mess up at any given moment, but that it's not the end of the world, it's just music. BUT that's kind of easier said than done... But that is my ultimate goal, hehe!

Remember that the key to playing confidence is practice - if you're fully rehearsed in what you're going to play then you'll be fully relaxed and having a great time. As a teacher once told me, as soon as you start thinking about what you're going to play, you're doomed!

Also, try not to lose that childlike joy of playing. You are in the wrong headspace to play if you're stressed. Lighten up Francis! and enjoy yourself. If you flub something, just smile and say whoops, it's not like anyone's getting hurt or anything. Have a good time.