Disclaimer: I did the math today and my kit is worth around $3400, before taxes, shipping and such. This DOES NOT include the several thousand dollars I "wasted" buying stuff and learning the hard way what I did and did not like, need and want. Tough lessons like "Less is more" and "Buy the throne your ass loves the first time". Take my advice, analyze it and hopefully you'll lose/use less money than I did
Even now, I have a Tama Snare Stand and a Tama Cymbal Clamp to obtain.
Snare: Something in the $200 to $350 range from Tama or Mapex. LOOK ON EBAY; Personally, I still buy new, but many stores have demo models and closeouts of new or near new snares for alot less than Guitar Center/Sam Ash sell for.
Heads: This is just to give the kit some new life until it gets replaced later on
Hihat Cymbals: Something used from eBay, be it Zildjian, Paiste or Meinl. MAKE SURE TO USE EBAY AND CRAIGSLIST; DONT PAY LIST PRICE.
Pedal: Absolute must. It has to be in the top 4. Pearl Eliminator's always a good choice. Make sure it is new or near new, DONT ACCEPT LESS. Your pedal will be with you for a decade or more.
Throne: Don't skimp. Seriously. You'll end up hurting, or buying a better throne anyway. My first two thrones (from Tama and Pearl no less) together cost a little more than my current SP cloth saddle throne, but felt infinitely worse. Don't waste your funds.
Cymbal/Tom Stands: Depending on how many rack toms you have, get enough combo stands to mount them all free of the bass. Make sure they're sturdy, as they might need to support two cymbals on top of the tom itself.
Crash Cymbal/Ride Cymbal: Depending on the style of music you play. Punk et al, go crash. Jazz, Fusion, HipHop... go Ride. Metal... Ride or a Crash/Ride. Or a China
But in essence, think about this: What is the one cymbal you would take with you (besides your hihats) if you could only take one. Go with that one. It's probably your primary accent or timekeeper.MAKE SURE TO USE EBAY AND CRAIGSLIST; DONT PAY LIST PRICE.
Hihat Stand: I put it back here because I had an SP stand, and I now have a Pearl Eliminator stand and to be honest... while much smoother and more stable, the Eliminator isnt worlds better than the SP. Unless you have absolute junk, your hihat stand should suffice.
New Drums: These can also be put last, but in my opinion, you need your drums to put your future cymbals in context. I mean, you have your hihat, you have your snare, and you have your primary accent... the only thing missing is a bass drum from your essentials, and it usually costs more to buy drums separately. So research a lot. I mean... a lot. With drumsets, you CAN AFFORD TO BUY USED. If you're really lucky, you'll end up like me and others and be able to get a store demo set that's heavily marked down... as much as 50%! Do not be afraid to take a long time to decide; this kit should be with you for as long as your snare(s) will be, provided your tastes stay similar. I took a total of five months to research out what drumset I wanted before taking the plunge on a deal I saw on eBay.
Opposing Cymbal: If you bought a ride, buy your first crash. If you bought a crash, buy a ride. If you bought a crash/ride, well, buy what you think you'll need more, though a ride with some actual ping wouldnt hurt. AGAIN, EBAY EBAY EBAY.
Extra cymbals, stands and finishing touches: Splashes, extra crashes, bells, chimes, tambourines, cowbells... and all the stands to mount all that. And don't forget a snare stand. Just remember something simple, like the $70 Pearl 900 stand, will do as much as stands that cost two to three times as much.
Finally:
New heads: In case you dislike the heads that came with your set, or want to try a different sound, do it at the end. Once you have your entire set, which is the whole picture, and you've settled in for a week, moved a stand an inch or two over here, tilted a drum this way... THEN, make any changes you feel necessary. But by now, you should be good.
Don't forget, you've spent $3500+ on your set, spend the $800ish to make sure it stays $3500 new for many years to come. Nothing like banging a bass drum into the doorframe to ruin your day.