Another singing vid...

Mary, I really like your singing and I encourage you to continue with it, as you do with your drumming. Making music, no matter how you do it, is a very special gift/opportunity. And your gift seems to be pretty generous! :)

I just want to say here, (because I don't know where else to say it), that I am dismayed at the banning of shemp. He and I had a couple of disagreements throughout this forum but I always valued and paid attention to his comments. Whether we agree with someone or not is irrelevant to the the idea that they are experiencing this world alongside us as drummers, and his comments IMO were mostly valid and thoughtful/thought provoking. I, for one, am very sad to see him banned.
 
Sorry Mary, I missed this thread (kinda busy, so forum speed scanning TBH), but yet again, I'm really pleased with your singing. Of course (& I really get this), there's a hesitancy in your performance confidence, but that will come with time & mileage. You have the pipes - no doubt about that. That's one hell of a foundation to move forward from, especially your range of pleasing tones, something you can't really fake. Nice job!

I just want to say here, (because I don't know where else to say it),
Sorry, I'm in the same boat here. I'm not going to go into rambling detail, save to say that I have mixed feelings about this, some of which Arky has already eluded to. That said, coming onto this thread to suggest (no matter how well worded) Mary posted her singing purely as an ego stroking exercise, is plain disrespectful of someone else's feelings, especially someone who's probably (please forgive me here Mary) not yet confident in her performance. That's insensitive, to say the least, & Shemp is intelligent enough to work that out for himself.

This place shouldn't wrap people in cotton wool though, & counter opinion should always have a place here, without fear of vilification. You would think, on the surface, I would be pleased that Shemp is gone. You'd be wrong. I supported the validity of his opinion on my thread that Arky refers to. My reaction was due to cumulative opinions expressed, not just Shemp's, as I assume Arky's post implies.

Ultimately, displeasure at Shemp's post (re: Mary's motives for posting) was posted by members, Grunt issued a "reminder" post, Shemp reacted negatively to that, & requested his account be terminated. It's done, & all round, a disappointing episode on every level.
 
So I feel that I need to make one final comment here on the Shemp issue to address Arky's comments.

My initial plan was to ignore him and if you go back and look at the thread, I did at first. After others had made comments and he came back still questioning my motives is when I chimed in. Even then, what I asked of him was to ignore my posts if he had nothing constructive to say. While I did call him a troll (which I still feel he was) I never asked him to leave or to be banned entirely from this site. That was his own choosing after being duly warned by a moderator.

I really do believe in allowing people to express their opinions, even if they are against me. I'm a big big girl and can take it. What I can't take is someone coming in and saying things just to stir things up which I believe was often Shemp's intent. Nobody needs that.

And just to clarify on why I posted this here in the first place, it was to get a little insight on my strengths and weaknesses in singing. This is something I've been trying for all of 2 months and I felt safe coming here. I did not do it for "warm fuzzies" but for constructive comment.b if you would have said I didn't have what it takes, I would have understood because I know you would have been honest and kind about it. Shemp's comments offered nothing in the way of criticism of my singing, good or bad, they were just snarky, in my opinion.

In the end, I am sorry that anyone was banned or more appropriately said, left because of this thread or anything I said. However, I do feel it was something he brought on himself and if he had chosen to stay would have only gotten worse with time. Just my opinion. Again, I apologize for causing such an uproar.

Mary
 
On topic:
Mary, you have some singing talent! A great foundation already and your voice sounds really pleasing. Also very nice vibrato. To my ears there's some intonation issues but those are minor and happen at some spots, not all the time. And intonation issues is something that does happen with longer term singers, too. So in the end you can be quite confident with where you're at already.

- - - -

As for shemp - here's my opinion:
He wasn't trolling. He gave honest advice. Now instead of replying 'Yeah sure, that would be a good idea, I'll do that - why not having my singing be judged on a specific forum' (while I absolutely agree that we do have singers/singing drummers on this forum and ultimately, a musician's ears can tell whether things sound nice or not - singing included) Mary's (subjective) (over)reaction was to call shemp a troll etc - which he isn't IMHO.

Mary, why didn't _you_ just ignore shemp's initial reply and moved on? Would that have been so hard? I don't believe you. I guarantee you you'll grow as a person if you open yourself up to a more objective way of processing info that others are giving you. Shemp gave an opinion, his initial post wasn't trolling or stirring anything up. It was _up to you_ to either react or ignore. You chose to react - you have the right to do so, but a bit more objectiveness (or the attempt thereof) would have been a classy idea - just my humble opinion.

Now some opinions might not be to someone else's perfect liking, but hey, that's what they are - opinions. Not a bad idea to look this term up in a dictionary if you aren't sure what an opinion is. Granted, on a forum opinions have to be expressed in a certain/acceptable way but that's what shemp did.

On shemp in Andy's thread (everybody knows what I mean):
To me we had a similar

I'm sure many forum members agree that _after_ shemp's participation in Andy's thread, shemp built up somewhat of a nice reputation contributing info in many other threads (and a few created by him) across the forum. People started to interact more with him and respect him. And didn't you notice the way he was replying in a consistently controlled and mild way free of harsh expressions, accusations and other crap (that many other members couldn't stay away from)? What does that tell you? The man has good control of what he's saying and the way he's expressing it. But - sometimes his opinion might differ from others. Well wake up, that's natural!

You know what? I haven't seen _one single post_ by him that was aggressive, trolling, stirring things up or whatever. _None!_ If in doubt - go back, reread whatever you want, but _without overreacting_. Why don't you try to embrace different opinions? It's up to _you_ to start a fight or get over it, simply ignore those posts and that's it. 'shemp, you aren't that bad' or something to this effect was what I've been reading in a good number of posts. Frankly, I _never_ had the impression he was a troll. And even in Andy's thread I didn't see the need to ban him at any time. In fact I was wondering why people couldn't embrace a different opinion (expressed in a controlled/reasonable way) and move on. But they fired back, even using some language. That's not nice, folks!

In Andy's thread people (it seemed) were waiting to see shemp being banned. I was thinking all the time: Why? For what reasons? Do we ban people because their view isn't commonly accepted? Would you want to be a member of a forum that bans people for no reason? Can't people open up their eyes and move on, ignoring shemp's opinion? No, obviously they couldn't. It takes a reaction to create a conflict. And honestly, shemp had a marvellous way of consistently replying in a controlled fashion and using _zero_ hard language. Open your eyes - many can learn from him! And please don't misinterpret the absence of admin/moderator posts in the beginning of Andy's thread and the fact that shemp wasn't banned right away when people started saying he should be banned for weakness/lack of resolution on the admins' side. It was because there was no need to react, that's why! Really, I was scratching my head why people were overreacting so badly. I don't want to have people taking up what has been discussed in Andy's thread, but that's what people could have done - moving on, ignoring the opinion of one single member - who changed the world - Drummerworld - by a single/a few posts. But why? Because many members showed strong reactions. Now imagine they would have ignored that man - what would have happened? N o t h i n g.

Personally I regret learning he's been banned (nighttime in Europe when it happened - I just stood up) - not by me for sure. As an admin/mod I won't do anything to restore his account, respecting the opinion of some (probably even many) members of this forum. Personally something tells me to have a few PM's with Bernhard in this matter but I won't do this as 'the forum' seems to have a problem with shemp, not the other way round. I do hope though that the other admins/mods will think this over for themselves and maybe change their view. Let's imagine his account would be restored: Folks, show a tiny bit more respect towards opinions that you might _not_ fully share, grow a tiny bit more as a person and - voila, problem solved! Some stuff is purely mind related. Change your mind (or simply embrace different opinions) and the problem is gone instantly! Does that hurt? In a way - yes, but you'll grow as a person. Not that bad actually.

Just to sum it all up: Anybody else's words don't force anybody to anything. Yet shemp's words had a tremendous effect in Andy's thread, but did shemp force anybody to anything? Please go back to what actually happened. Once you understand that it's up to you to make whatever you're making out of it - if you blow some words up by huge magnitudes you might feel insulted or whatever. If you take those words/an opinion for what it is, you can easily get over it, with zero overreaction.
+1. I found Shemp to be a great contributor on the forum, for the short time he was here. Troll he was not. Oppinionated like many others here, he was! I for one will miss his input!
 
Mary, your singing sounds nice, and has a nice texture to it. You also have a nice vibrato to your voice.
 
Well, it seems that this thread was the chosen one... much to Shemp's disgrace...

I'm sorry in a way that Shemp felt like leaving this forum after Grunt's warning... but it was Shemp's decision to be banned... not the mods, not Mary.... but himself, he could of course had apologized to Mary and moved on... but no, strongly stubborn guy I guess... well his shoes, not mine

It's fine to have an opinion and post it on the forum, it's equally fine to disagree with anyone's opinion, the key word is respect... and trying to change someone's opinion with strong arguments and/or explanations is the way to go IMO, it can be done with humour too and definitely with respect, it's what I tried to do here and in other threads for his sake, but his proud stubbornness wouldn't not allow him to acknowledge his lack of history of the members which make this forum what it is, but we shouldn't have to go to battle and call out names... nothing comes out good out of a fight. Knowledge is power and power is knowledge, before anyone of us make a comment in anyone's post, we should know a little about a member's history here on DW...

just my 2c on the shemp's episode...

You didn't cause anything Mary. The only "roar" applicable to your post was the latent power in your vocals ;)

I agree with you Andy :)
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Lol....now there's a leopard print that Uncle Larry should enjoy! I love it!
 
Lol....now there's a leopard print that Uncle Larry should enjoy! I love it!

Nice one Henri!

And, Mary, it definitely was NOT you. What was said was unkind, and there is never any excuse for that.

From a tigress to a leopardess: Keep on roaring!
 
Great singing, Mary. I really enjoyed it.

You know what? I haven't seen _one single post_ by him that was aggressive, trolling, stirring things up or whatever. _None!

I thought this response he gave to me was passive aggressive, which is how a guy like that operates. But he didn't just insult me with this post. He was insulting everyone (passive aggressively of course).

Originally Posted by shemp:
its a great movie...i do not fancy myself being like the dude nor could I be like the dude. The point of the avatar was grossly misunderstood thus I put the admiral there instead. Apparently to understand the comedic relief behind a guy like me having the dude as an avatar requires an IQ higher than 76.

But that was in response to my trolling on him. Not heavy trolling, but passive aggressive. Myself, I would have used a comma after the word apparently, but I still don't understand the comic relief.
 
I thought this response he gave to me was passive aggressive, which is how a guy like that operates. But he didn't just insult me with this post. He was insulting everyone (passive aggressively of course).

Gah, you just reminded me that I was going to call him out on PA. Hell, I should know it when I see it.
 
Well, it seems that this thread was the chosen one... much to Shemp's disgrace...

I'm sorry in a way that Shemp felt like leaving this forum after Grunt's warning... but it was Shemp's decision to be banned... not the mods, not Mary.... but himself, he could of course had apologized to Mary and moved on... but no, strongly stubborn guy I guess... well his shoes, not mine

It's fine to have an opinion and post it on the forum, it's equally fine to disagree with anyone's opinion, the key word is respect... and trying to change someone's opinion with strong arguments and/or explanations is the way to go IMO, it can be done with humour too and definitely with respect, it's what I tried to do here and in other threads for his sake, but his proud stubbornness wouldn't not allow him to acknowledge his lack of history of the members which make this forum what it is, but we shouldn't have to go to battle and call out names... nothing comes out good out of a fight. Knowledge is power and power is knowledge, before anyone of us make a comment in anyone's post, we should know a little about a member's history here on DW...

just my 2c on the shemp's episode...



I agree with you Andy :)
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+1 Henri.In addition all I can say about the graphics is....hubba....hubba..leopard print all around.:):)

Mary...you keep on singing and posting.You have the gift of a unique sounding voice,so just keep working with it,and we'll keep enjoying it.

Steve B
 
Mary, you've got a good ear for pitch, which bodes well, and you also have a pleasing-to-the-ear voice, which bodes even better. Keep it up, please. A big thumbs up from me.

Arky, when someone goes out of their way to show utter disrespect for the members of this forum, not once but twice, then what is one to think? Twice, now, the guy has shown up at the party for no other reason than to spoil the fun. Whatever you may call it, I call it anti-social behavior.
 
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Folks, show a tiny bit more respect towards opinions that you might _not_ fully share, grow a tiny bit more as a person...


Great advice.




I feel Shemp did a disservice to the forum by choosing to leave.

A lot of oversensitivity to opinions causes some to take those opinions too personally, tho a good thing if it entices some reflection.
 
I think you did great, Mary -- in fact, a bit better than many people I see fronting bands these days! Keep it up.
 
While I agree that Shemp could have bit his tongue, you have to take the good with the bad. He's a smart guy with definite well thought out opinions, (mostly) but it seems he is a bit lacking on sensitivity to others feelings. Putting one's singing out there takes...I don't know exactly what it takes, but whatever it is.... it's to be admired. Shemp is like the really great loving Dad that every so often beats his kids. Once I got his number, it was a lot easier to overlook any social shortcomings he has.

IDK, to see one of our precious female members put something as personal as singing out there for public consumption, and then kind of questioning her motives and basically disrespecting her, you have to wonder about that. I have to wonder if I put my singing out there (for instance, being male) if he would have reacted the same way.

It seems like he has a split personality at times. Still, I'd like to see him come back, despite his shortcomings. And we all have them. Shemp is an exercise in tolerance, something the world needs more of. IIRC, this is his first forum experience. There's certain protocols, and it's a bit of a learning curve. I have to wonder if he would have reacted the same way if it were a face to face situation.

Come back Shemp!
 
. There's certain protocols, and it's a bit of a learning curve. !

This is what he stated he was against. it was in that deleted thread by andy, he was proud to be anti-everything it seemed. I don't care if he comes back or not, just leave the antisocial stuff behind.
 
This is what he stated he was against. it was in that deleted thread by andy, he was proud to be anti-everything it seemed. I don't care if he comes back or not, just leave the antisocial stuff behind.

Anybody that genuinely uses 'free speech!' as an argument against his banning on a drum forum doesn't understand that these places don't have free speech. Somewhat bewildering, seeing as it's made clear in the forum rules.
 
Anybody that genuinely uses 'free speech!' as an argument against his banning on a drum forum doesn't understand that these places don't have free speech. Somewhat bewildering, seeing as it's made clear in the forum rules.

haha right, and the best part, while shouting about rule breakers, and subsequently hiding behind the rules, he never once answered why it bothered him so much when someone broke said rules. he was asked a number of times and just ignored it.
 
I have to wonder if I put my singing out there (for instance, being male) if he would have reacted the same way.

I think he would have as he didn't have any problem voicing his opinions on the whole Guru thing. I kind of get the feeling that he's kind of like one of those little kids who is always getting in trouble...you know, bad attention is better than no attention so he stirs things up to get the attention he is seeking. Maybe I'm off the mark but that's just the way I kind of see him.

If he wants to come back...that's fine with me. He just needs to learn to be RESPECTFUL. It's what this forum is all about. If he has a question about something that's posted he should privately message a mod and ask them. However, I think his attention seeking self will win out and he'll end up shooting himself in the foot again. It is a shame, becuase I do feel he has something to offer...everyone does.

In the end, though, it's fool me once...shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. In the immortal words of The WHO...I won't get fooled again! :)

And thanks again to everyone for their support...you make a girl feel special!
 
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