Parents think drums are too loud

I find it very hard to play Acoustic drums when my mom always tells me to get of after a freaking half hour, i'm like but I just got on, like wtf Lol,

I hate playing my E-kit because i'm trying to master the feel and technique of acoustic and when I just start getting into it my mom tells me to get off, it sucks because I want to be a really great drummer and that involves making the acoustic kit sound good.

Ugh, what did you guys do to drum for long periods of time with your parents around, and those drum pad things suck i'd rather play E-kit if I had to use them lol.

First thing I would suggest is have a heart to heart with your mom and try to work out some type of practice schedule. Don't give her attitude and argue be calm and polite. Second thing where is your kit located? Is it in a second floor bedroom, first floor, basement? When you play are you really laying into the drums like you are playing a concert of 20,000 people or are you playing with dynamics?

Options:

1. Find a local rehearsal studio that will let you store your gear. Then you can rock up any time you want and play for as long and as loud as you like. If you can't afford to do this on your own try time-sharing a room with other musicians.
2. Play your acoustic kit in the house for as long as you can at a time of the day when you're disturbing people the least - e.g. when they're out at work etc.
3. Sound-proof the room you play your kit in.
4. In order to play the kit with the same feel/rebound you are used to but at reduced volume try muffling the heads and stuffing all the drums with some kind of padding.
5. Move out.

I understand your frustration, but look at it this way - I'm guessing it was your mother who bought you two drum kits and doesn't mind you playing them for a certain amount of time in the house: she sounds pretty cool to me.

(disclaimer. when i mention beginners below, i am refering to my beginning students.)

Hi Devon.
As we all know, drums are loud and can annoy people. This is something we all endure and try to work around. It is of course fun to play a kit and feel the vibration and experience the power of the sound. All of us love that. It is amazing and great. No denying it.

The practice pad. It is quiet, usually black or grey, perhaps even yellow. Doesn't move much air and is generally a failure when used to play a 10,000 seat stadium concert. However, it gives us the opportunity to develop our technique. I notice with my students that is is after using the pad for a while and seeing and feeling the results, that they become enthusiastic about it. What you will find is that the manipulation of the sticks becomes fun. Control of the sticks is a wonderful thing. Indeed, there is a very fine book called Stick control. The problem for the beginner is that he or she cannot understand this yet. It is only through doing and gaining from that experience that this becomes apparent.

When I was young and first playing gigs everything seemed hard. I had to really concentrate for fear of making a mistake. My hands would het tired and I had to figure out crazy ways to hold the sticks while resting my fulcrum. Then I found a fine teacher and he asked me to trust him and use the pad. Later I was on a gig and everything seemed easier. I recall sitting behind the drums wondering what was going on?? Being rather slow, it took me a couple of days to put it together. Practising on the pad had helped. I no longer had to fight to control the stick. Doubles, paradiddles etc helped me play the music. It felt great! "Could it feel even better if I worked even harder with the pad?" The answer was yes.

Sorry for the long winded post. I wish you luck.

K, bear in mind the information I'm giving you is from over 30 years ago;

1. Try to play when you're parents aren't home (the big # 1)
2. Learn a few songs Mom likes and throw them into your set. Seriously.
3. Don't crank it to the max. If you have to then find another place to practice.
4. Talk to your folks and set up a practice time. I'm sure they'd like to see you pursue a personal interest (even if they're not crazy about it)
5. Learn to share and don't be a whining baby when it's time to quit

Those were tips I followed and I got along pretty well with my folks. I had 2 bands; 1 Progressive Rock and 1 Heavy Metal and the bands, my folks and I always managed to work out some time for us to jam as well.

Having said that, I encouraged my son to play once he was old enough and interested enough. I would make him play more songs when he wanted to stop his practice sessions and I always made him crank it and play loud (unless of course the song didn't call for it) so that I could hear him. I was what I guessed would be the ideal musical kid's parent.

After several years of incredible playing, even being a member of an 18 year old band when he was 13, the traitor gave it up for guitar : (

Kids....

flattery and appreciation! thank her for giving you life, for your looks, for instilling you with artistic ability and a sense of rhythm. ask her if she listened to a lot of music when you were in the womb. if its one thing chicks most strongly react to, its motherhood!!!! tell her you appreciate her work as a mother (if you haven't already, that is. if you have, keep doing it), how she ____, _____ and _____ (fill in the blanks). 9 times outta 10 we persuade people when we make them feel like they're respected, trusted, and important. when she cuts you off for the day, say "you're right, it is too loud" or "sorry to be disruptive" or "you make the rules. thank you for allowing me some time to play today". maybe that will persuade her to reward you with more practice time (work on playing softer, she will notice your attempts, get some promark hot rods or broomsticks, use thinner sticks). but you're lucky, dude, to have an electric kit… i had to go about it the hard way: learn to play quietly, and learn fast how to play better, so if i was loud at least i sounded good lol!

But not only parents, the other band members think that too. They allways say to me "you play so loud", but one day I'm gonna really play loud, maybe then they stop saying that to me. (evil laugh)

1) You may not realise but you are really lucky to have an acoustic and an ekit to play on at home.
2) Drums are loud
3) Have you tried using 7A sticks and putting on a pad on the kick drum? Then just play lighter and play for feel and groove.
4) Your mum is your biggest fan - don't mess that up.

Davo

Have you tried telling them that they are too old?

These here dude:

http://www.musiciansfriend.com/drums-percussion/vic-firth-drum-set-mute-prepack

Gotta be cool with parents, especially when they give you a place to live and take care of you. At the same time, WE ALL love playing our drums with passion especially when we're groovin' to a jamming tune or just soloing. "Acoustic" drums are their own animal because you just can't plug them in to headphones late at night or when you need to be quiet. Drums can be fricken loud and unless you are playing in a soundproofed room, you can hear them throughout the house AND THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

The drum mutes will instantly reduce the volume by at least 75%. Then work on your dynamics and volume. I must tell you that drum mutes will reduce the bounce of your sticks, so you will be forced to work on technique. I've found them to be very benefical in this way. Then establish a practice schedule with your parents and abide by it.

In my house, I am the parent and the drummer so I make the rules. However, I too practice courtesy with my wife and kids and get off the kit by 9 pm. I use drum mutes on the weekdays and on weekends I take them off.

As long as you are a drummer, you will always have to deal with volume until you get your own place. Even then, you'll have to deal with nieghbors. Be cool with everyone so Mom or the noise police don't lay down the law.

First thing first.Ignore Large,and Mr Pockets remarks.Thats a sure way to anger the one person whom you want to win over.Moving out is not even a remote option.You have cool folks who bought you not just one,but two kits.

Explain the differences between the two to your folks,as far as sound and feel are concerned.

Talk...repeat talk to them about what you need to do as far as practice.

Come to a COMPROMISE.You sometimes have to give a little,to get a little.

Set up a schedule and STICK TO IT.This is a demonstration of both motovation and maturity.This impresses parents like all get out.

Don't take the whiney 16 year old I can't have my way crap if you don't get exactly what you want,when you want it.Nothing alienates parents quicker than that kind of immature behavior.It will also make your drumming a sore spot,which will in turn lead to unecessary arguments and fights.

If you really love your instrument,and your parents,don't let this become a source of irritation for all of you.Cowboy up,and get 'er done.

Steve B

tamadrm said:

First thing first.Ignore Large,and Mr Pockets remarks.Thats a sure way to anger the one person whom you want to win over.Moving out is not even a remote option.You have cool folks who bought you not just one,but two kits.

Explain the differences between the two to your folks,as far as sound and feel are concerned.

Talk...repeat talk to them about what you need to do as far as practice.

Come to a COMPROMISE.You sometimes have to give a little,to get a little.

Set up a schedule and STICK TO IT.This is a demonstration of both motovation and maturity.This impresses parents like all get out.

Don't take the whiney 16 year old I can't have my way crap if you don't get exactly what you want,when you want it.Nothing alienates parents quicker than that kind of immature behavior.It will also make your drumming a sore spot,which will in turn lead to unecessary arguments and fights.

If you really love your instrument,and your parents,don't let this become a source of irritation for all of you.Cowboy up,and get 'er done.

Steve B

Click to expand...

+1 to this. Also, be a good citizen in your household. Do your chores without complaint and without being told. Follow rules. Be trustworthy. This works better than anything to help you get a little leniency with your loud habit.

We've had other younger drummers on here with much less permissive parents who chose the "rebel without a clue" path, which dealt them nothing but hard times. Your mom seems pretty cool to me, in that she cares enough to support you as far as getting two sets. Do the best you can and be very thankful. Good luck to you.

Thanks guys, I guess a was a little fustrated yesterday, but my mom is awesome and really cool! she supports all my bands and wants me to be a great drummer aha, I took it to the e-kit because I really wanted to play and after doing some research 30 mins to an hour a day on the acoustic is good enough, I wanted to play for hours I guess and it's alright playing on the E-kit after a good hour on the Acoustic.