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  #1  
Old 03-09-2013, 03:29 AM
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larryace larryace is offline
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Default If your drums could talk, what would they say?

OK a spur of the moment thread decision here...I apologize in advance, retroactively. (Playing with the time)

Mine would say....How come you never case me anymore? You used to case me all the time...Ex-CUSE ME if my shells don't say GURU!

or

How come you always put the same heads on me and set me up the same exact way? There's other positions you know....

or

Mmmm....nobody hits on me like you do big boy lol.

or

Don't ride me so hard!
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  #2  
Old 03-09-2013, 03:31 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

"Oh God... Here comes the cat... And in the port hole he goes..." - my drums.
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  #3  
Old 03-09-2013, 03:37 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

OUCH!!!!! OUCH!!!! OUCH!!!!!!
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  #4  
Old 03-09-2013, 03:39 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

My drums would confess that when I'm playing them, they are actually fantasizing about being played by Bill Stewart.
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  #5  
Old 03-09-2013, 03:50 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

"You're kidding right?
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  #6  
Old 03-09-2013, 03:53 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

'Stop hitting me so hard', I imagine. I should probably listen to them!
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  #7  
Old 03-09-2013, 03:56 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

"you can play me all night long"

http://drummerworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=95628
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Old 03-09-2013, 04:00 AM
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Old 03-09-2013, 04:01 AM
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  #8  
Old 03-09-2013, 04:06 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

That tickles.



202020202
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  #9  
Old 03-09-2013, 04:08 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

"Oh nooo... not you again!!!"
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  #10  
Old 03-09-2013, 04:09 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

it hurts too good

202020
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  #11  
Old 03-09-2013, 04:13 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

"Are you kidding me?"

"what was that???"

"take some more lessons"

My drums are too judgmental.
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  #12  
Old 03-09-2013, 04:16 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

I liked the last guy better!
You hit like a girl!!
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  #13  
Old 03-09-2013, 04:18 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

Greetings Earthling.

My name is Rhyt-Hemt-Rave'Ler and I hail from Che-Apd'r Ums of the We Ek enDwa R'rior galaxy. Our people have been watching you for millennia, relaying your human vibrational input back to our home planet ...
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  #14  
Old 03-09-2013, 05:15 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

Boom shockalockalocka, Boom shockalockalocka.
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  #15  
Old 03-09-2013, 05:21 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

'Please. For the love of God. I need new heads. I know you have no money but I'm desperate. Alms for an old ex-leper?!'
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  #16  
Old 03-09-2013, 05:54 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

"Take me out of the closet! Please!" My poor kit has to live in the closet since there is no room to keep it set up. :( I have an e-kit to play though in the mean time.

or from my practice kit
"Can I get a coat please?" It lives in an unheated garage that is very, very drafty... usually no more than 5f warmer than outside.

Quote:
Originally Posted by EarthRocker View Post
"Oh God... Here comes the cat... And in the port hole he goes..." - my drums.
Every time I get the kick drum out of the closet...

Quote:
Originally Posted by rtliquid View Post
OUCH!!!!! OUCH!!!! OUCH!!!!!!
Ok, I had a good laugh from this one! thanks!
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  #17  
Old 03-09-2013, 05:58 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

If we're talking my Signia kit, it would be something like

"Remember when we use to gig all the time? Remember when we used to rehearse all the time? What happened? "

And then it would attempt to embarrass me with stories

"hey, remember that time, at that club, before you were married, with that........."


Oye....maybe it's a good thing my drums don't talk. LOL.
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  #18  
Old 03-09-2013, 06:20 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

Quote:
Originally Posted by rtliquid View Post
OUCH!!!!! OUCH!!!! OUCH!!!!!!
This is what I thought of. You beat me to it!
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  #19  
Old 03-09-2013, 06:44 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

Quote:
Originally Posted by rtliquid View Post
OUCH!!!!! OUCH!!!! OUCH!!!!!!
Yep, my first thought too.

I'll settle for:

"Not now. NOW!"
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  #20  
Old 03-09-2013, 06:49 AM
T.Blazer T.Blazer is offline
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

Oh f*ck , not that song AGAIN
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Last edited by Bernhard; 03-09-2013 at 07:35 AM.
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  #21  
Old 03-09-2013, 06:55 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

"I thought you said you knew how to tune!"
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  #22  
Old 03-09-2013, 07:10 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

"Please don't beat me anymore"
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  #23  
Old 03-09-2013, 07:35 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

You are not even trying!
or
that is my snare - Can I met that hihat alone, you are always hiding them in a bag

Bonham`s snare woluld say between backbeat - what took you so long?
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  #24  
Old 03-09-2013, 09:08 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

You people are crazy- assigning anthropomorphic* properties to inanimate objects!

*I just wanted an excuse to say anthropomorphic
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  #25  
Old 03-09-2013, 09:29 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

"When does the drummer get here?"
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  #26  
Old 03-09-2013, 10:04 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

"I wish someone would touch me that knows how to do it right"
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  #27  
Old 03-09-2013, 10:19 AM
aydee aydee is offline
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

...

" You and me both know that youre really not as good they said"

...
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  #28  
Old 03-09-2013, 11:49 AM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

"Bloody hell, 4/4 again! Don't you know any other time sigs?"

"Stop fiddling with my brain!"

"Hello... hello..., hello... Is there anybody out there? Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone at home?
Come on now... I hear you're feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain... Get you on your feet again. "
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  #29  
Old 03-09-2013, 12:48 PM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

I used to be in a top notch studio, you know. Played by all kinds of great players. But I know that you're still young and hopeful, so I'll let you try ;-)

Ah, yes. Jazz, you know I've been there and liked it. And you say we're going somewhere funky as well? Great!

Yeeeey, you bought me some new heads! You knew it was about time, didn't you? Oh, I haven't tried these before. But they seem to fit nicely :-)

Why won't you let me play with that old Slingerland bass drum in your apartment? He looks sexy ;-)

Oh, yes! Finally some heavy hitting rock! And in a nice studio as well, even better. A great room to sing and shout all I want! You know, I think that Slingerland in your apartment would really looove to come and play with us here ;-) And I don't think these other people would mind either…
- Wait, what? Is that gaffa tape? Well I don't mind, but I feel he kind of chokes or constricts me somehow.. You sure?

Why are you putting me in cases? Are you just going to store me away? Or are we going somewhere? I've travelled without cases before, it went fine!

Oh, I haven't tried this before. A multi percussion set up, wow. I didn't know you did these kinds of things. Well, I'm all open for experimenting. I'll do my best!

Are you really going to pair me with that old snare drum? I haven't even heard of drums like him. Are you sure he's good?
- Wow, I'm glad you introduced me to those snares. Both that old steel one and the young furry piccolo one sounded great :-) Why don't you bring that small Sonor sparkle next time? I've known him for a little while and he's great fun!




At least this is what I hope my drums would say to me :p
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  #30  
Old 03-09-2013, 01:53 PM
witold witold is offline
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

my snare for shure would like to say something but it is muffled
you know, these moongels taste like......
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  #31  
Old 03-09-2013, 02:04 PM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

I was so excited when I was purchased and was told I was going to a good home and then I get here only to be stuck in a dark basement to be hit on by someone who doesn't have a clue and who sings out of key when she plays. A drums life is hard!
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  #32  
Old 03-09-2013, 02:23 PM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

Will you please get some gigs! I need to get out of the house and into the night clubs, get miced up, smell some cigarette smoke, watch some good looking women dance, get some beer spilled on me.
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  #33  
Old 03-09-2013, 03:07 PM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

Quote:
Originally Posted by keep it simple View Post
"When does the drummer get here?"
'You can set up between the cigarette machine and the ladies'.
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  #34  
Old 03-09-2013, 03:37 PM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

Bang, bang, boom, boom, rat-a-tat



crash








(that last one was the cymbal chiming in)
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  #35  
Old 03-09-2013, 04:52 PM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

"Uh...that is NOT how that goes."

or

"Those brushes really tickle. A little to the left please."



BTW, I'm surprised we've gone this far without a harder and faster joke somewhere...
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  #36  
Old 03-09-2013, 04:57 PM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

"Take us out of these stupid cases and play us!"

Sad but true.

Peace and goodwill.
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  #37  
Old 03-09-2013, 06:11 PM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

Oh. It's you. You must not be working today playing with those other whores
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  #38  
Old 03-09-2013, 06:38 PM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

Thank you for saving me from ruin and returning me to my former glory!
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  #39  
Old 03-09-2013, 07:22 PM
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

Probably something like "MMMMMPhMMRPH!"


(My drums are muffled.)
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  #40  
Old 03-09-2013, 07:36 PM
witold witold is offline
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Default Re: If your drums could talk, what would they say?

why didn`t I became cask for wine like my brothers did?
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