Band leaders

In the band that I played with for over 10 years, there was a gradual decay in the ethos of the band. At first it was fairly democratic- there were some fairly big personalities, but an air of negotiation and acceptance thjat not everyone would win every battle. One of the oft spoken rules was no ego's allowed. In reality, what it meant was no ego's allowed except the lead signer/rhythm guitarist's! Unlike Larry's guy, this chap was a mediocre guitarist, an ordinary singer and a bit of a control freak. If you're thinking, what was he doing in the band, his major skill was in working an audience, getting them to feel part of the show and keeping them engaged. It made up for the shortfall in his musical skills, but ultimately it wasn't enough to keep me there. In the end it felt as if he was actively goading me to leave and I'm still not sure that he wasn't, but in any case, this chap who I had played with for 10 years an counted as a friend went on, following my "I'm off" speech, went on to obliquely publicly slag me off on social media by stating that their new drummer was "the best he had ever played with" (he said the same about me and the numerous new bass players we had through the history of the band and was to be expected I guess) and noting that the band was sounding better than ever and was so much tighter. So much so that the bass player, who was a mate told them to stick their band due to this so he got a BOGOF deal that he wasn't expecting.

I could have bitten my tongue and stayed, but in reality life is too short. The fact that I have not regretted my decision once since I headed for the sunset tells me it was the right one for me. My new band situation is so much more relaxed by comparison- music is fun again!
 
I came into an established group that hadn't played any gigs yet, but all had extensive live experience..plus they're all about 15 years older than me. Everyone wanted to get gigs, but it was quite a while before the rhythm guitar player kinda took the reigns. He's done the networking and is the harshest critic for our performances, which we need. It's still a fairly hands-off group, and no one argues. We try to stay constructive. I was glad he did step up though, because things fell into place pretty well at that point.
 
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