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  #41  
Old 04-11-2016, 03:38 PM
wunderless wunderless is offline
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Location: Ontario, Canada
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Default Re: Band shot itself in the foot.

So one thing to consider...

How much do you know this guy really? I mean, you let him in the band and all, but is he a good friend now? Is he someone that means a lot to you?
He needs help but where is his family? His friends? The people that care about him? Why aren't they at the forefront of this? Or are they? Fill them in on his behaviour maybe they need to step up, or have, and need to know.

Yes, helping him is part of being a human, and I'm all for it, but how much time do you guys need to invest in that? I'm not saying it's not beyond you guys to try to help him get straight, but at what point is it not your burden? It sounds like trying to help him could end up in a long drawn out drama. Is that your and/or the bands job to do?

To the original question, I'd cut him loose with the honest explanation of why. If you guys want to move forward it's not happening with him.

Best of luck.
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  #42  
Old 04-11-2016, 04:07 PM
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FreDrummer FreDrummer is offline
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Default Re: Band shot itself in the foot.

Quote:
Originally Posted by brentcn View Post
...But there are people who fail at sobriety a few times, and then get the hang of it down the road. Why would you stop trying to help, if, in the meantime, the guy's not part of your group or otherwise causing damage to your life/job/hobby/whatever...
This well may be true, but back to the issue of whether he can ever be in your band...

Let's just assume for a moment he does get help, he goes through rehab, he re-examines his life, and turns things around. Would any sane counselor endorse the idea of him participating in an endeavor that places him in bars/clubs from 8 'til 2 on weekends? No matter how thorough and genuine the turnaround, that is just too much temptation. Remember the old AA adage, even after you stop drinking you are still an alchoholic. That should be the answer to "Should he stay or should he go."

Not to say his musical career should be over -- he just needs to channel it into projects that do not include these establishments.

Last edited by FreDrummer; 04-11-2016 at 04:10 PM. Reason: Added content
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  #43  
Old 04-16-2016, 06:20 PM
moxman moxman is offline
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Default Re: Band shot itself in the foot.

Unfortunately the guy has a disease - the brain pathways light up when presented with the right triggers and it's very difficult to control. An intervention won't do much unless it can convince him to go to a rehab (better if he decides to want to do it himself) and stay there for at least a month and then enter a 3+ month AA plan of daily meetings (and for life). This will only control his addiction.. and being around bars all the time is the last place he should be if he is ever going to recover.. it will take years. So.. let him know you are doing it for his best interests and move on. Good luck finding someone that brings a positive direction for the band!
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  #44  
Old 04-18-2016, 08:07 PM
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Spreggy Spreggy is offline
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Default Re: Band shot itself in the foot.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DrumDoug View Post
Back in November the country band I am in let a new player join the band. He is a guitar player and he is a booking agent. Things started out fine, but have quickly gone downhill. Since he started booking the band, we have been playing a lot. We had 11 gigs last month. We have two gigs coming up opening for national acts. The thing I didn't know, was that at the time he joined he was wearing a monitor that alerted the court if he drank alcohol. He had several DUIs and that was a condition of his probation. As soon as the monitor came off, the drinking immediately got out of control. He passed out on stage at New Years Eve. He has started fights on stage with the singer in front of the audience at four different gigs. He got involved in a fight out in the parking lot at one gig when it didn't even have anything to do with him and he didn't know anyone involved. When he gets drunk, his playing becomes horrible. I could go on but you get the point. We decided to fire him from the band and he didn't take it well. He became belligerent and told us that if we fire him we will never play anywhere again, he will cancel all our gigs and make sure no one books us anymore. A couple days later he called and begged to be let back in the band. After he calmed down he realized how good a gig he has and he didn't want to let it go. After much discussion, we gave him another chance. The next gig was fine and he didn't drink. The gig after that, he showed up drunk and was argumentative again. He didn't show up for the gig after that, and put up pictures on Facebook of himself sitting in with a band at a bigger club than we were playing that night. We want to fire him again, but who knows how that will work out with all the clubs we are playing since he books for all of them. We are going to have to go into damage control mode and let the club owners know that the band is still together, we aren't broken up ect.. Letting him in the band has been a horrible decision that might have irreparably harmed the band.
Here's what i think:
His threats are meaningless for the most part, because an alcoholic who is going off the wagon is doing it everywhere. He'll soon be without any gigs.

Find another booking agent. You could consider hiring him to book you, but not play.
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  #45  
Old 04-18-2016, 08:21 PM
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jbonzo1 jbonzo1 is offline
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Default Re: Band shot itself in the foot.

What if he hops in his car after playing a gig while drunk and kills someone?
You think the victim's lawyer might look at the rest of the band? And the venue?
Offer help but kick his ass out for sure.

Silver lining, there's a country song here waiting to be written. Does he have a dog, a mother, a pickup?
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