tension and wrist pain

i know there are already a lot of threads around on this topic (i know how to use the search engine ) but i feel like i didn't become any wiser yet.

the problem is that i'm getting enormous wrist pain from time to time (and it keeps returning). i also feel tense and sluggish (or sloppy) while drumming. i tried to look at how my technique is and i think most of this pain comes when i'm hitting cymbals or doing a rimshot.

i'm trying to work against that. i already talked to my drum teacher about this and we are working on becoming more relaxed. i also tried playing really slow very often but it seems this doesn't change very much for me, i basically feel the same. and besides that i tried playing with rather low volumes instead of "banging the drums" (i also want to mention here that i'm working on using the rebound). i'm currently reading "effortless mastery" and i hope i can get something out of that.

but i still feel very insecure/tense while playing, i also noticed that i'm like that very often when i'm not on the drumset. for example i often notice that my heels are clutched rather high and tense and i suddenly feel pain (while i'm just sitting on a chair) and my shoulders are often tense as well.

i don't really know what else to do right now, its just frustrating for me, maybe someone can give me a hint on what to do

The tension and relaxation problem is one I'm currently working on getting rid of myself. I think you mentioned an important word in fighting the tension: insecurity. When I'm stressed because something is challenging or I'm using a lick I'm not 100% comfortable with, it's very easy to tighten your arms and raise your shoulders, and that only strengthens the insecurity. What I'm doing to combat that issue is to play simple and basic stuff at a high level. Practice some basic stuff that you always use in one form or another (such as Fatbacks) and work on getting it 100% right: meaning tight, grooving and solid in all kinds of tempos, while being relaxed and comfortable. Once you can do the basic and fundamental stuff at a high level while staying relaxed, you will gain confidence and solidity, which will lead to removing the insecurity and tension while doing the more difficult stuff.

If you feel insecure while playing you will most likely be tense and that will cause problems. Rim shots or not your joints have to absorb all of the shock of the sticks hitting the drum. The drum head will give and absorb a little but you will absorb most.
I learned from watching tennis that beginners should not have their racquets strung as tight as more advanced players, because the joints aren't ready for the shock. When practicing try loosening the snare head a bit and relieve some shock, and continue to work with your teacher on the tension and feeling of insecurity. You just need to shut that out and be happy you are where you are. There are many not as good as you.

"It's all between the ears", as one of my teachers used to say.

The process of learning to play with more relaxation takes some time. What you have to do is practice it more and more and more and wait for it to creep into your playing. Also, if you create a little mental checklist for checking your tension level (e.g. hands, legs, shoulders, breathing) that you use while you practice, sometimes just reminding yourself of the checklist while playing will put you back into that relaxed state. You have to learn the "taste" of relaxation, then you can recall it when you need to.

i'm feeling so stupid when i'm playing the drums i think i can't get anything done. i always think about quitting. i can't even play the simplest s*** and i'm still so tense and musically i'm the worst of all...

Try a thicker or thinner stick.
Double check your drum and cymbal placement is comfortable to reach and not just set up so it looks cool. The height of the drum (head) will also determine at what point during the stroke your making contact you maybe too early or too late to what your brain thinks.

Try a different seat height, often back problems manifest themselves as other issues.

Take a break from drumming if your not enjoying it, there is no rush. Like most things in life it only takes a short while to learn but a lifetime to master.

Oh and too much w*nking can screw with your wrists...lol

I had tension issues which held me back for years.
Then I learned to groove with my whole body--kind of dancing as I drum, though not too overtly.
If the music were a car, it's more like riding in it, whereas before I was trying to push it.

That's a bad analogy, and this might not help at all.