Some unfortunate things as a Teenager... READ!

The thing is, I don't see his dad as doing anything that is illegal or that could get him in trouble; it's not like he's beating or not feeding the kid.

Not saying it doesn't suck, but it could be much worse.
 
Your mom allowed the stepdad to mete out punishment like that??

Sadly, yes. That and much more.

What's really messed up is I didn't fully realize how screwed up that was until my wife asked the same thing a few years ago. The more I told her, the madder we both got about the whole thing.

But like I said, he's no longer with us...and I actually celebrate that day every year.
 
This whole thread reminds me of my stepdad. Luckily, I didn't have a drum kit back in those days (I'm 37 now) but he seemed to love to take things away from me just to exercise his authority.

He would routinely take away my car (that I paid for) for weeks at a time for ridiculous reasons such as he thought I was sighing at him. He once accused me of putting a nearly empty bottle of steak sauce back into the refrigerator (I still don't know who did that) and got grounded for a month.

Also, my curfew throughout high school was 9:00; even on weekends.

There are many, many other issues that I won't discuss here. Suffice it to say, I'm glad he is no longer with us.

So hang in there, man. This will all be over before you know it.

My curfew is 9PM weekends, 6PM on weeknights (I get home at 4:45). I got my door taken away because I was trying to sleep and they thought I was on drugs for going to sleep (passing out in their minds) at 7PM.
I think he likes to "Show-off" for everyone, because when there is people around, he will just be like: "Ohh you want to go skateboard with your friend in the driveway huh? Well how about NO!? Now give me the skateboard." And I'll have it taken away for a week or so, for asking a simple question. The thing is that he will look and smile or laugh with his friend after he does this.
 
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My curfew is 9PM weekends, 6PM on weeknights (I get home at 4:45). I got my door taken away because I was trying to sleep and they thought I was on drugs for going to sleep (passing out in their minds) at 7PM.
I think he likes to "Show-off" for everyone, because when there is people around, he will just be like: "Ohh you want to go skateboard with your friend in the driveway huh? Well how about NO!? Now give me the skateboard." And I'll have it taken away for a week or so, for asking a simple question. The thing is that he will look and smile or laugh with his friend after he does this.

give it a couple of years, get your own place. Then you never have to talk to him again, and he'll spend the rest of his life wondering why you never give him a card at christmas...

Honestly, it might seem like a long time but once you hit 18, you'll wonder how it passed so quickly.
 
I think he likes to "Show-off" for everyone, because when there is people around, he will just be like: "Ohh you want to go skateboard with your friend in the driveway huh? Well how about NO!? Now give me the skateboard." And I'll have it taken away for a week or so, for asking a simple question. The thing is that he will look and smile or laugh with his friend after he does this.
He does this to a 15 year old boy? The man seems like nothing but a f**king coward to me!
Let's see him do this to someone his own size instead of intimidating a young kid.
 
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Wow, my 8 year old daughter has later curfews than that. Of course, she's not out doing drugs and making evil rock-n-roll music like you apparantly are.

With that guy around, I'm surprised you thought you could get a drum set in the first place. What a jerk.

Better start making your "screw you guys, I'm outta here" plans now, so when the day comes, nothing can stop you.

Good luck to you Joey,
 
Yeah, it's time to get the hell out of there. Sounds exactly like my stepdad. His name isn't Dan, is it?
 
Violence isn't the answer.... but sometimes you wonder.
 
Fairy tales will come true. It can happen to you, if you're young at heart.
 
Explain why I would make this up? I find it funny that you think this way. Would you like to come to my house and meet this guy? It's not a joke, or trick or anything of that sort. So please don't state that I'm lying about something you know nothing of.

Easy there. I don't think he was implying at all that you made up any of this stuff.
 
Joey, all these people are here to try to make you feel better, it's a good crowd. If things are as bad as you say they are, we all feel for you. Unfortunately, there's not much more we can do. Your going to need to talk to someone who can get directly involved. Work even harder in school, try hanging out with different people, and live above your dad's morals. I think the Mayor is trying to play devil's advocate. There's two sides to the story, and we need to know both if you want honest help. We all make mistakes, it's how we deal with them that makes the difference.
 
Explain why I would make this up? I find it funny that you think this way. Would you like to come to my house and meet this guy? It's not a joke, or trick or anything of that sort. So please don't state that I'm lying about something you know nothing of.
Joey, he didn't mean your tale was a fairy tale.

He was saying the idea of moving to someplace you won't get hassle was a fairy tale and it'll come true if you stick at it.

Don't be so quick to attack people who are helping you. Maybe that's part of why your parents snap at you.
 
Joey, he didn't mean your tale was a fairy tale.

He was saying the idea of moving to someplace you won't get hassle was a fairy tale and it'll come true if you stick at it.

Don't be so quick to attack people who are helping you. Maybe that's part of why your parents snap at you.

Oh, well I can't quite catch his tone of voice over the internet :p
 
My wife is always watching this TV show on interventions. Maybe you can get your family on this show, because it sounds like they need it. What was your father's father like? Behavior tends to be handed down generation to generation.
 
Being a current father, and a former 15 year old, and based on everything I've read here, here's my advice to you Joey.

1. Forget about the drum set for awhile. Your drumkit is going to be a constant source of tension between you and your (i'm assuming) stepdad. If you are in posession of your kit, get it out of the house. Take it to a friends or something. If you don't have it, kiss his ass until you get it back, then get it out of there. I can see him literally destroying it in a rage. You don't want that. If you have another location to set it up, great, but if you spend all your time wherever your kit is, it will still cause problems at home.

2. Get a practice pad, the snare stand, and a throne, and quietly spend the next couple years at home developing your chops on a pad. You can also make a practice kick pedal. I'm still in the beginner stage, but I can play on that practice pad and kick pedal for hours and not bat an eyelash in the house.
I know its not the same as your kit, but you need to focus more on maintaining peace. And you will be still developing your chops in the meantime.
It may not feel like it now, but you have an entire lifetime to develop your craft.

3. Don't do anything crazy. Don't drop out of school, run away, or go all postal, or anything. You've only got a short time until you can get the hell out of there and never look back.
During this time though, develop a solid plan on how you are going to get out of there and make it on your own. Sleeping on a buddies couch is cool for about a month, then it gets real old, real quick. You need a real plan.

Good luck to you Joey



ps. Probably wouldn't make a difference, but if you purchased an at home drug test that proved you weren't on drugs, would that change any opinions or attitudes?
 
Joey,

Heres how you solve this problem:

1) Go to GNC and buy some creatine or builder supplement
2) Hit the weight room every night for one year
3) Walk up to Step-father.
4) Lay the bastard out.

Just make sure you have your bags packed and a place to go! But I tell you what, you rock that fool right square on his nose and he'll never give you trouble again. If he does, repeat step 4!
 
Joey,

Heres how you solve this problem:

1) Go to GNC and buy some creatine or builder supplement
2) Hit the weight room every night for one year
3) Walk up to Step-father.
4) Lay the bastard out.

Just make sure you have your bags packed and a place to go! But I tell you what, you rock that fool right square on his nose and he'll never give you trouble again. If he does, repeat step 4!

Haha maybe not the smartest thing to do, but I've seen it work.
 
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