DRUMMERWORLD OFFICIAL DISCUSSION FORUM   

Go Back   DRUMMERWORLD OFFICIAL DISCUSSION FORUM > General Discussion

General Discussion General discussion forum for all drum related topics. Use this forum to exchange ideas and information with your fellow drummers.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  #1  
Old 09-24-2010, 08:33 AM
Obdrummer Obdrummer is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Sonoma CA
Posts: 5
Default My Essay on Drums: Drums are My Life

hey guys here is the rough draft of the short essay i have to write for school on an item(s) that is important to me tell me what you think!


Drums are my life
It’s not the best in the world but it gets the job done. Every morning after I take my shower I walk out into the living room where I see my two sparkling drum sets. When I pass by them the give me that play-me-now sparkle bust I must resist because there is dew on the grass and neighbors in bed. The one on the left is the big one, the head honcho, the chief where the one on the left is like its little brother and is meant for a different style, but both are as equally important as each other.
I like them both equally because I need them both depending on what im playing. My little one I will use to play the softer, warm music which makes your ears open up to hear the magical sound. The big ones I use for letting loose and bashing away to heavy and electric music, which is just as pleasing if in the correct energetic mood.
When I play im always wondering is someone is going to complain and say, “Stop making all that noise.” But I feel as if I worry for nothing most of the time. Occasionally I will get the ever so irritating “play quieter” from one of my brother but I usually ignore him knowing that this is more important then whatever is doing.
When I play my gleaming drums they talk to me, it’s a feeling like no other; it’s a feeling you can only experience once you fully understand the instrument. When in the trance they give it feels as if you are in another world where only you and the drums lie, where there are no distractions from people, distractions from cars, distractions from everything. It’s like a natural high to me and it starts as the stick first hits the coarse surface of the drumhead.
I chose these items for my essay because it is something I truly love, something that I will play for the rest of my life, something that I want to stay in contact to for the rest of my life, and most of all something that is a main part of my life I would even consider it as important as a pen for a writer, its something I can not live without.
So every time I step out of the steaming shower I know that my drums are there in the living room calmly but anxiously waiting for my return, to play them once again and satisfy my yearning for a beat, groove, and song all at once.


just ignore the typos if there are any
Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2010, 09:35 PM
PreppieNerd
This message has been deleted by PreppieNerd.
  #2  
Old 09-24-2010, 09:42 PM
PreppieNerd's Avatar
PreppieNerd PreppieNerd is offline
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 668
Default Re: My Essay on Drums: Drums are My Life

The essay clearly show that you like the drums a lot. One thing that would strengthen your writing would be to try to eliminate as many cliches as possible. These are the "poetic" phrases that get used and over-used. They make the paper less effective.

You might want to take a more concrete approach. Think about what the drums add to your lifestyle, personality, etc.

Also be careful with your words and their connotations. Some of the way you said things had a lustful air to it, which may not be appropriate for this assignment, unless you were going for an erotic mood.
__________________
I make music here: Another White Suburbanite, and here: Finlay Fields
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 03-28-2011, 09:38 AM
esspwebmaster esspwebmaster is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1
Default Re: My Essay on Drums: Drums are My Life

Good work guys i appreciate it any but to make it professional just check
__________________
cheap essays
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 03-28-2011, 03:30 PM
Funnyman's Avatar
Funnyman Funnyman is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Maine...wish I could get out.
Posts: 140
Default Re: My Essay on Drums: Drums are My Life

If I were you, I would go by the way my English teacher made us write.

Thesis

Reason 1.

Reason 2

Reason 3

Conclusion

A paragraph for each reason. You would most likely score a higher grade.
__________________
"What were ya' gonna' do, laugh the last three to death, Funnyman!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 03-28-2011, 03:51 PM
mediocrefunkybeat
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: My Essay on Drums: Drums are My Life

It's essay time! Enjoy...

I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm not sure what you've written qualifies as an 'essay'. I think Funnyman has described a great way of writing an essay. Exposition, theory, recapitulation - a bit like sonata form.

Maybe I come across as a little harsh. Apologies, I've had several cups of very, very strong coffee.
Attached Images
File Type: pdf Post-Digitalism.pdf (116.6 KB, 238 views)
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 03-28-2011, 04:47 PM
Travis22's Avatar
Travis22 Travis22 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Wichita, KS
Posts: 325
Default Re: My Essay on Drums: Drums are My Life

Enjoyed the read, however, if this is a rough draft, let me just point out that it's kinda hard to have both drumsets on the "left." :-) Dang typos, I have them all the time too.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are Off
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off




All times are GMT +2. The time now is 08:09 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Bernhard Castiglioni's DRUMMERWORLD.com