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  #1  
Old 10-20-2015, 04:29 PM
93civEJ1 93civEJ1 is offline
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Default beating myself up today....

So, a guy I have been playing with lately got a gig in another town at a pretty well known venue that many big names have been through. I havent been playing with this guy very long, so 100% memory of the songs is not there yet.

The bass player we used has only played with us 2 times.

We are all bar musicians, who suddenly got pulled into a gig at this big venue.

Anyway the other 2 bands were great. You could tell they have rehearsed, had their shit together, and a show plan.

Here we are, a few guys who really have no great intros or starting off songs, etc and look like a couple of goons who are "bar musicians".

Now I am beating myself up because I just felt like we sucked so bad after seeing these others bands. My playing was terrible...just a rough night...

weird cause I always think we do really good when we play in these little sports bars etc...

We get to a big music venue and blow ass... lol
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  #2  
Old 10-20-2015, 05:01 PM
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Tommy_D Tommy_D is offline
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Default Re: beating myself up today....

Its all a learning experience, man. Let this be a motivator for you guys to step up your game, if that's what you want to do. Start working on better "starting off songs" or your intros. Work on making your playing tighter. Work on your audience participation. Whatever. Don't beat yourself up. You went there, you played, and you learned that you have a lot to work on. If you never did the show you would have no clue if you were ready to move to the next level.
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  #3  
Old 10-20-2015, 05:13 PM
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larryace larryace is offline
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Default Re: beating myself up today....

Yea, it's not all roses. Most likely, no one is lingering on how well you didn't do the other night except you and maybe the guys in your band. In fact, beings that musicians are overly critical against themselves, I'd say there's a fairly good chance that you didn't go over as bad as you are thinking.

Plus it's gone and there's nothing you can do except try not to repeat it. Beating yourself up....stop beating youself up and let me do it for a while lol.

Stop punishing yourself dammit. Instead, be mature and own it. It's OK. You felt you failed the other night. Join the club, you're not alone. Guide your thoughts to positive action, meaning to make sure you don't repeat what you regretted. Make sure those issues never happen again. Because there will be new mistakes to not repeat in the future.

My point is lay off yourself. First define in crystal clarity the band's issues, then work to correct them, as a band, instead of using the energy to cut into yourself. Make constructive use of the energy, not destructive use of the energy.
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Old 10-20-2015, 05:42 PM
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Default Re: beating myself up today....

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Originally Posted by larryace View Post
... Make sure those issues never happen again. Because there will be new mistakes to not repeat in the future.
Yow. Pretty good everyday-life advice, Uncle Larry. AND it also has a drumming context, so it's appropriate here, too!
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Old 10-20-2015, 06:31 PM
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larryace larryace is offline
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Default Re: beating myself up today....

My Dad used to say life is a series of adjustments.

Failing is the next closest thing to winning.

I used to get pissed off at Yogi Bear when he failed to steal the picnic basket because he would have a good plan, and one thing would go wrong and instead of trying to correct the problem, he abandoned the plan and tried a new plan that also had a problem. So he never overcame any problems, and was an idiot as a result. Same thing week after week. I had to stop watching him, it was raising my blood pressure lol.
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Old 10-20-2015, 07:46 PM
tcspears tcspears is offline
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Default Re: beating myself up today....

I'm not sure what your band is like, but sometimes groups are better in smaller venues. I play with a really out there jazz trio sometimes, and in smaller jazz clubs we can play a hell of a show, but we had to play bigger stage once and we lost that since of closeness and communication, so all of our playing suffered.
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  #7  
Old 10-20-2015, 08:59 PM
93civEJ1 93civEJ1 is offline
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Default Re: beating myself up today....

honestly, im not sure any of us had ever played such a venue that is just a standing room big music venue only.

Its weird...usually I am calm and collected, last night I was a total nutcase.

Songs i had nailed down to a T suddenly just skipped out of my mind how they went in certain sections etc.

I blame it on nerves. Things I am able to do during practice and at home etc, suddenly become impossible. lol
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Old 10-20-2015, 09:03 PM
mikel mikel is offline
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Default Re: beating myself up today....

Sounds like performance anxiety. Reading your post you were out of your perceived comfort zone. Next time you get a gig you feel is a big step up try to reduce the variables by setting up as you would in a bar, going through the same rituals, wearing the same clothes etc Anything that makes you comfortable when playing.

If you are concerned then dont even check out the other bands on the bill, just wait for your slot, do what you have done lots of time before and enjoy, you cant control what the other bands do. Control the controlable and disregard the rest.
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Old 10-20-2015, 09:04 PM
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Mount Saint Elle'ns Mount Saint Elle'ns is offline
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Default Re: beating myself up today....

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Originally Posted by larryace View Post
Same thing week after week. I had to stop watching him, it was raising my blood pressure lol.
So... you stopped watching, like, last week? ;)

(Full disclosure: I think there's a couple Spongebob episodes that are brilliant. And it's a totally different category, but I love Archer. You know it's a great episode when I am laughing, cringing, and yelling, "Too far!" at my T.V. ;)

Quote:
Originally Posted by 93civEJ1
Now I am beating myself up because I just felt like we sucked so bad after seeing these others bands. My playing was terrible...just a rough night...
I think the biggest hurdle (at least for me), is when we care what other people think about or work/playing/life, and we see ourselves through the eyes of others, and feel their perceived judgement. Like someone said, you notice your mistakes more than anyone else. People don't notice the things that we notice about ourselves, because they are too busy noticing the things about themselves that they hope we're not noticing about them. (That sentence was exhausting.)
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Old 10-22-2015, 02:43 AM
WallyY WallyY is offline
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Default Re: beating myself up today....

Quote:
Originally Posted by 93civEJ1 View Post
Songs i had nailed down to a T suddenly just skipped out of my mind how they went in certain sections etc.
This happened to me, but only worse.
I got hired to play a summer tour with a band who had a multi record deal.
We even did an MTV interview before the show.
Well, I choked and felt lousy.
Their response was, "Who cares? We're already signed."

Good people say those things.
The whole point of music to me is to have fun, and certainly not to beat yourself up after a gig. Beat yourself up at practice.
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  #11  
Old 10-22-2015, 03:36 AM
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Mad About Drums Mad About Drums is offline
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Default Re: beating myself up today....

Quote:
Originally Posted by 93civEJ1 View Post
Songs i had nailed down to a T suddenly just skipped out of my mind how they went in certain sections etc.

I blame it on nerves. Things I am able to do during practice and at home etc, suddenly become impossible. lol
A clear case of stage fright if you ask me, I use to suffer from that, not only I was loosing some capacities as a player, I also missed the enjoyment side of playing live, I had to really work on that to build my self-confidence, what works best for me is to "prepare" a mindset days before the gig.

It's a mind game, you have to persuade yourself that you're up to the task at hand, you can even "dream" the event beforehand if you have to, once the "persuasion" factor has kicked in, I'm usually fine, I get to the stage with a healthy mindset, you should try it... if you can do it during rehearsals, practice or at home, then you can do it on stage :)

Your mind is a very powerful tool, but you need to learn how to use it to get the beneficial results.

Quote:
Originally Posted by elle View Post
(That sentence was exhausting.)
That sentence was difficult to read. (to get the full meaning)
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Old 10-22-2015, 03:50 AM
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Hollywood Jim Hollywood Jim is offline
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Default Re: beating myself up today....

OK 93civEJ1, you started this thread yesterday.
Are you done beating yourself up?







Good. Now carry on and go play some drums.


.
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  #13  
Old 10-22-2015, 04:02 AM
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Mount Saint Elle'ns Mount Saint Elle'ns is offline
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Default Re: beating myself up today....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad About Drums View Post
That sentence was difficult to read. (to get the full meaning)
I am only intentionally difficult on Tuesdays.
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  #14  
Old 10-22-2015, 10:02 AM
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oneflightup oneflightup is offline
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Default Re: beating myself up today....

Don't worry about it. Everyone has off nights.
Back on your horse :)

Nick
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  #15  
Old 10-22-2015, 02:38 PM
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PorkPieGuy PorkPieGuy is offline
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Default Re: beating myself up today....

Lots of good words here. Definitely use it as a learning experience. I swear, watching and listening to good music either inspires me or humbles me. This pain is temporary, and I hope that it pushes you to be better! Don't give yourself a hard time. Thanks for sharing.
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  #16  
Old 10-22-2015, 03:06 PM
93civEJ1 93civEJ1 is offline
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Default Re: beating myself up today....

oh it pushes me to be better.

I have told the other guys, that if we ever go and play something like that again, we must have some rehearsals so we dont look so clueless. Its ok to start songs however in a sports bar...not really a music venue show though.

Yeah, im pretty much over it already. Just hoping I didnt blow it and leave the singer wanting to look for another drummer...haah.
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Old 10-22-2015, 04:39 PM
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Bonzo_CR Bonzo_CR is offline
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Default Re: beating myself up today....

Quote:
Originally Posted by 93civEJ1 View Post
oh it pushes me to be better.

I have told the other guys, that if we ever go and play something like that again, we must have some rehearsals so we dont look so clueless. Its ok to start songs however in a sports bar...not really a music venue show though.

Yeah, im pretty much over it already. Just hoping I didnt blow it and leave the singer wanting to look for another drummer...haah.
That's the spirit. We've all been there!
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