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  #1  
Old 07-27-2018, 02:18 PM
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Default Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

It's a cliche that I'm asking this question, but I heard one of my cousin's conversation with her friend. They are arguing about someone in a band. I know that vocalists are the center of attention when it comes to most band members. But do drummers have a chance to easily win a girl?
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Old 07-27-2018, 03:36 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

JMO,

It's not what you play, it's your personal charisma that is the real factor.

That said, all things being equal, the vocalist usually has the best chance with the hot superficial women. I wouldn't want the type of gal who is attracted to the lead vocalist anyway. Longer than one night that is :)

What a dog statement! Bark bark.
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Old 07-27-2018, 04:11 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

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Originally Posted by larryace View Post
JMO,

It's not what you play, it's your personal charisma that is the real factor.

That said, all things being equal, the vocalist usually has the best chance with the hot superficial women. I wouldn't want the type of gal who is attracted to the lead vocalist anyway. Longer than one night that is :)

What a dog statement! Bark bark.
"Who can win the girl". I agree with Larry personal charisma and develop a relationship. Then I join the pack with this observation. Now if you're a lounge lizard looking for a one night stand then I wager you could use either ploy and succeed-because it really isn't about you being a great vocalist or drummer-just you're so full of yourself you believe it and women find that much confidence-no matter how ill founded-attractive.
Go figure LOL. Woof, woof, woof
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Old 07-27-2018, 05:24 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

It's all about the dance.
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Old 07-27-2018, 05:26 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

It's all about the singer. Two prime examples:

Mick Jagger
Ric Ocasek (The Cars)

Two arguably ugly dudes, but look at the women they've scored.
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Old 07-27-2018, 05:27 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

The one with the most money... nicer clothes/car...
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Old 07-27-2018, 11:36 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

The one with the Masters degree in science who speaks three languages, reads, writes and composes music and is almost as intelligent and educated as "the girl" in question.

Sorry, what century are we in, again?
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Old 07-28-2018, 12:59 AM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

I've never had problems myself. Married for coming up on 17 years. Granted, she didn't know I play drums when we met...
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Old 07-28-2018, 01:09 AM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

I do attract women, but it's not the way it appears. I tend to meet (not very good) singers that want to be in a working band. They may think that because I play in bands that I can help them into a band. I have called some of these ladies when our regular singer could not make a gig. The problem with most of these ladies is that they are not very good singers, they don't work on their voice enough, sing scales or vocal exercises, or learn the lyrics. So they have a hard time getting regular gigs.
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Old 07-28-2018, 01:37 AM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

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Originally Posted by Magenta View Post
The one with the Masters degree in science who speaks three languages, reads, writes and composes music and is almost as intelligent and educated as "the girl" in question.

Sorry, what century are we in, again?
Ha, ha,ha. I don't think the male in question would ever be as intelligent as "the girl" -even with the MS, three languages and music skills. I know it's suppose to be a secret that women have the superior intellect and 'you girls" just let us egocentric delusional males think we are "smart". I've been married 32 years so I figured out long ago she had always been throwing me a bone. Hey I had a MS when I met my wife but I barely speak one language, my music skills or so so, and despite her superior intellect she chose me-just shows you even really smart people have bad judgment and screw up. We actually fell in love on our first date-we skipped a class, went to eat lunch, talked and found a lasting bond. My friends ask me did I pay her to marry me-nope. Then they ask how do I feel being married to a women with superior intellect. I'm like "What??". Males ask some of the silliest and idiotic questions-the reason my wife didn't marry them.
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Old 07-28-2018, 06:33 AM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

When I started playing again about 5 years, some of my non-musician friends were like, "You'll get so many groupies!" At this age, I don't care about groupies. I want roadies.

Regardless of the gender, when someone is chatting with me after a gig and I'm trying to load out, I say, "Hey, I want to keep chatting with you. Grab those two bags would you?"
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Old 07-28-2018, 07:45 AM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

Keith Moon stole Rod Stewart's girl away in the mid 60s and married her, so I guess that settles that one. However by the time you've broken down your kit and loaded up, the singer's already got the chick since all he has is his damn mic to take away.
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Old 07-28-2018, 10:13 AM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

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Originally Posted by GetAgrippa View Post
just shows you even really smart people have bad judgment and screw up.
Yep, you've nailed Mr Madge in one! Actually, he only married me because I was the first woman he'd ever met who was shorter than him. Worked for us!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee-Bro View Post
I don't care about groupies. I want roadies.

Regardless of the gender, when someone is chatting with me after a gig and I'm trying to load out, I say, "Hey, I want to keep chatting with you. Grab those two bags would you?"
That is a brilliant idea and one that I shall steal shamelessly. Thank you.
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Old 07-28-2018, 01:00 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

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Old 07-28-2018, 07:09 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

Haha, Andy you win! Your girls should be arriving soon...
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Old 07-28-2018, 10:11 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

Sounds like being in music for the wrong reasons.
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Old 07-28-2018, 10:41 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

Obviously, the OP has never been married.

Be careful what you wish for lol.
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Old 07-28-2018, 10:52 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

The girls never ask me to go to the bedroom with them, they just ask if I have extra sticks laying around. :(
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Old 07-29-2018, 07:06 AM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

The more handsome man will get the girl 9 times out of 10.
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Old 07-29-2018, 02:45 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

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Originally Posted by trickg View Post
It's all about the singer. Two prime examples:

Mick Jagger
Ric Ocasek (The Cars)

Two arguably ugly dudes, but look at the women they've scored.
Charlie Watts on the other hand has stayed married.

What is the real goal here?
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Old 07-29-2018, 05:39 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

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The more handsome man will get the girl 9 times out of 10.
Ya but the ugly man can get the ugly girl. Natural selection wins.
"ugly" and "handsome" being all in the eye of the beholder of course.
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Old 07-29-2018, 07:33 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

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Originally Posted by trickg View Post
It's all about the singer. Two prime examples:

Mick Jagger
Ric Ocasek (The Cars)

Two arguably ugly dudes, but look at the women they've scored.

lol- I agree with this- how true from my experience. Women love attention and singers receive the most attention (within music groups), so women love to get with singers.
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Old 07-29-2018, 09:05 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

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lol- I agree with this- how true from my experience. Women love attention and singers receive the most attention (within music groups), so women love to get with singers.
Absolutely! Being a woman, I crave attention, and I really can't help throwing myself at a singer, regardless of their or my orientation.
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Old 07-29-2018, 10:40 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

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Originally Posted by Magenta View Post
Absolutely! Being a woman, I crave attention, and I really can't help throwing myself at a singer, regardless of their or my orientation.
La-la La-la! La dee-dee dee-dee doo-wop da-shoop!

(I'm all yours sunshine, come and get me!)

:-)
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Old 07-30-2018, 06:19 AM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

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Originally Posted by opentune View Post
Ya but the ugly man can get the ugly girl. Natural selection wins.
"ugly" and "handsome" being all in the eye of the beholder of course.
The ugly girl is still going to prefer the handsome man ;)

Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder but there are some traits that are universally attractive. Tallness in men, for example.

Pro tip for the guys: go to the gym!
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Old 07-30-2018, 07:33 AM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

The key to being attractive is sincerity.

Once you can fake that you're laughing!
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Old 07-30-2018, 09:56 AM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

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there are some traits that are universally attractive.
American Express Centurion card :(
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Old 07-30-2018, 04:09 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

I can't help but notice....and much to the detriment of everyone involved, that the male and female roles are being encouraged to reverse by IMO the media. Heck they already are. Think about it, how many portrayals of weak/stupid men do you see, especially on TV? And how many portrayals of strong, smart, take charge women do you see? I notice a lot of both. It's backwards.

Poor women, now they have to chase after the man? That's what this thread is all about. Wanting women to make the play. It traditionally never worked like that. It was the man who made the plays.

Women like men who put energy out...a lot...to be with them. Especially the ones who don't give up. Do you know how certain women....you might not have given them a 2nd look....but if you find out they like you that way...they suddenly gain a few hundred percent of attractiveness? It's the same with women. If a woman thinks a man is interested, and the man shows plenty of that interest...it almost doesn't matter what they look like. But it does. However, it's mainly about how the man makes the woman feel. And vice versa, looking at it from a man's perspective.

Here's a little personal story: When I was single, I asked a single women out and she turned me down. She was one of my electrical customers and I went back a year later or so to do more work on something else. I asked her flat out...in a nice way....why she turned me down. She told me I didn't try hard enough. It's true that I accepted no as the answer. So there it is. Here I thought I was showing respect to her in her decision, but that turned out to be the very thing that hamstrung me, my respect for her decision. Hey I know that sounds bad, but that's exactly what happened.

I would like to see men go back to being men. I don't mean acting all macho either. Traditionally, it's NOT about attracting the women to the male...that's backwards. It's about...as a guy...going after who YOU want. Men shouldn't IMO adopt the feminine role and try to be the pursued. Men are traditionally the pursuer. It's not good for any of us any other way.

Conversely, I wish some women valued femininity over toughness. Like if I never saw a tattoo on a woman again, that would be fine with me. How would women like it if men started wearing dresses? In my mind it's the same. I'm pretty sure women don't want to see their men in a dress. I know I don't want to see a tattoo on a woman. Most women I know have tattoos somewhere, so I've come to accept it. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

We NEED to get back to the traditional ways with this whole male/female dance thing.
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Old 07-30-2018, 04:11 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJames View Post
The key to being attractive is sincerity.

Once you can fake that you're laughing!
I thought the most important trait was the ability to make a woman laugh?

I wish I had your wicked sense of humour James!

As for being sincere: it only works if you're sincerely displaying positive traits.

Sincerely display negative ones and they end up leaving you.

Ironically, it would be completely insincere to purposely display only positive traits and hide the negative ones... either you're showing your full, true self or you're not. So it only works for people who on balance are mostly symapthetic.

If you're a bit of an ass, well, sincerity isn't going to work well. Trust me, I know...

Now, let me see if I can find a purely drum oriented discussion round here...
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Old 07-30-2018, 04:38 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

Quote:
Originally Posted by larryace View Post
I can't help but notice....and much to the detriment of everyone involved, that the male and female roles are being encouraged to reverse by IMO the media. Heck they already are. Think about it, how many portrayals of weak/stupid men do you see, especially on TV? And how many portrayals of strong, smart, take charge women do you see? I notice a lot of both. It's backwards.

Poor women, now they have to chase after the man? That's what this thread is all about. Wanting women to make the play. It traditionally never worked like that. It was the man who made the plays.

Women like men who put energy out...a lot...to be with them. Especially the ones who don't give up. Do you know how certain women....you might not have given them a 2nd look....but if you find out they like you that way...they suddenly gain a few hundred percent of attractiveness? It's the same with women. If a woman thinks a man is interested, and the man shows plenty of that interest...it almost doesn't matter what they look like. But it does. However, it's mainly about how the man makes the woman feel. And vice versa, looking at it from a man's perspective.

Here's a little personal story: When I was single, I asked a single women out and she turned me down. She was one of my electrical customers and I went back a year later or so to do more work on something else. I asked her flat out...in a nice way....why she turned me down. She told me I didn't try hard enough. It's true that I accepted no as the answer. So there it is. Here I thought I was showing respect to her in her decision, but that turned out to be the very thing that hamstrung me, my respect for her decision. Hey I know that sounds bad, but that's exactly what happened.

I would like to see men go back to being men. I don't mean acting all macho either. Traditionally, it's NOT about attracting the women to the male...that's backwards. It's about...as a guy...going after who YOU want. Men shouldn't IMO adopt the feminine role and try to be the pursued. Men are traditionally the pursuer. It's not good for any of us any other way.

Conversely, I wish some women valued femininity over toughness. Like if I never saw a tattoo on a woman again, that would be fine with me. How would women like it if men started wearing dresses? In my mind it's the same. I'm pretty sure women don't want to see their men in a dress. I know I don't want to see a tattoo on a woman. Most women I know have tattoos somewhere, so I've come to accept it. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

We NEED to get back to the traditional ways with this whole male/female dance thing.
How exactly does a drummer "try harder to get the girl"? Doesn't this suggest that we should overplay and even play "over the singer"?

Larry, are you really encouraging us to do this? Do you want to throw out the window the principle of "playing for the groove"?

I have a better idea, just play in an instrumental band, ideally a trio. That way the drummer will naturally get a greater share of the attention!
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Old 07-30-2018, 05:33 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

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How exactly does a drummer "try harder to get the girl"? Doesn't this suggest that we should overplay and even play "over the singer"?

Larry, are you really encouraging us to do this? Do you want to throw out the window the principle of "playing for the groove"?

I have a better idea, just play in an instrumental band, ideally a trio. That way the drummer will naturally get a greater share of the attention!
You are twisting my meaning beyond recognition. Over play? Play over the singer? I don't know how you extrapolated that from my post but OK. I'm not even remotely suggesting that. I'm not suggesting anything as a drummer. I am making statements about the current dance that's going on between the sexes, from a guys POV. Drummer/Vocalist/Pilot/Accountant...that's inconsequential. All I'm saying is it's detrimental to men and women if men adopt the female role in the whole dance thing. This is what's being encouraged in the media. Castrating the male. It's all around if you can see it with real eyes :)
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Old 07-30-2018, 05:43 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

The male female roles changed WWII-it has been percolating since. Now I surely appreciate we do have biological sexes (even if transgendered to female you can still die from prostate cancer), but as far as roles I see lots of plasticity there and I support it-whoever is best for the job. I grew up in rural South Georgia-it quickly became obvious to me the females were far superior in cognitive abilities-my friends were breaking arms and collar bones running full force into trees and walls. Most families, back then, the "man" ruled (it was so at my house Dad rattled his glass and Mom waited on him-well till my younger sister encouraged Mom to revolt LOL)-however there were plenty of males taking on different roles even back then I remember. Oh the alpha males would belittle these guys-but I admired them. I actually envied my friends with such relationships because the "father" took a role other than provider and keep out of his way and get out of my hair. This motivated me quitting (and ending effectively) my research career to be Mr. Mom for 8 years (I got little support and lots of criticisms-family, friends, and observers). My research careers was at that point of taking off like a rocket, I had a stellar CV, glowing recommendations from some stellar big wigs-so it was a big sacrifice for all my efforts to get there. But I'd do it again today-greatest experience and investment was in my three daughters who will be the rock star that I wasn't if they want to be.
Sadly many of these super bright females I grew up with ended up married to lower intellect, insecure males, who tended to resent their intellect and had no respect so tended to run around on them and to abuse them-a few killed. I've seen Russian roulette with loaded guns-just having some fun with the girlfriend-ironically her husband shot her in head years later. Yep psychotic lunatics-in order to survive you had to become bigger and meaner. By tenth grade I was benching 400 lbs and developing scarier behaviors than those trying to kill me. Women have had a long hard run of it getting rights and the respect they deserve-glad to see it. But I do have to admit I do have reservations that sometimes it seems that some women in the feminist movement seem to propose misandry, and some folks seem to think our differences are bad. Viva la difference-it's what attracts us to each other.
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Old 07-30-2018, 06:17 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

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You are twisting my meaning beyond recognition. Over play? Play over the singer? I don't know how you extrapolated that from my post but OK. I'm not even remotely suggesting that. I'm not suggesting anything as a drummer.
I did actually understand that your points weren't directly related to playing drums.

Hence my "funny" attempt to "extrapolate" back to a strictly drum-centric theme...

It seems that I didn't fare nearly as well in the wit and humour stakes as others... JustJames, do you do lessons for the unfunny?

We could do lessons over Skype, but you'll have to talk the Queen's English, awlright myte?
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Old 07-30-2018, 08:35 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

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Originally Posted by Mike Stand View Post
I did actually understand that your points weren't directly related to playing drums.

Hence my "funny" attempt to "extrapolate" back to a strictly drum-centric theme...

It seems that I didn't fare nearly as well in the wit and humour stakes as others... JustJames, do you do lessons for the unfunny?

We could do lessons over Skype, but you'll have to talk the Queen's English, awlright myte?
Sorry, your post totally went over my head. Drums are cool :)
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  #35  
Old 07-31-2018, 05:50 AM
satisfiedwimp satisfiedwimp is offline
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

Well, I agree with that. Personally, personality really matters. However, on the feminine side (based on what my cousin told me) though it's not in general. She said that most girls really like the vocalist. However, when in a relationship, drummers are sensible compared to the latter. I guess she just loves reading articles from www.regain.us that's why she seemed fond of dating drummers.
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Old 07-31-2018, 12:59 PM
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Magenta Magenta is offline
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

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Originally Posted by Mike Stand View Post
La-la La-la! La dee-dee dee-dee doo-wop da-shoop!

(I'm all yours sunshine, come and get me!)

:-)
That made me laff!.........................
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Old 07-31-2018, 09:30 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

In all honesty it depends on the size of the drummers stick...........
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Old 07-31-2018, 09:52 PM
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Mike Stand Mike Stand is offline
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

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Originally Posted by Magenta View Post
That made me laff!.........................
I have it in writing! I made a lady laugh! There is hope for me still!

And that despite having sung very badly out of key!

I must have an incredible and undiscovered sexual charisma, a bit like a superhero's powers awaiting to be wakened!

Wait, I need to do some more tests... anyone seen LesIsmore? I reckon she's a tougher nut to crack (I'm not saying that you're an easy pull Magenta)...
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Old 07-31-2018, 09:54 PM
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Mike Stand Mike Stand is offline
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

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Originally Posted by johnwesley View Post
In all honesty it depends on the size of the drummers stick...........
Which one, the left or the right?

Oh, I see, you're referring to the drummer from Def Leopard!

Right?....
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Old 08-01-2018, 05:14 PM
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Default Re: Drummer Vs. Vocalist: Who Can Easily Win A Girl?

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Originally Posted by Mike Stand View Post
Wait, I need to do some more tests... anyone seen LesIsmore? I reckon she's a tougher nut to crack (I'm not saying that you're an easy pull Magenta)...
Oh, everybody knows I'm a pussycat masquerading as a tiger.

Or is it the other way round? I can never quite remember!

Btw, there were only one or two dodgy notes. If I may be so bold as to offer a word of advice: ditch the falsetto ;)
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