I had an experience at a clinic I did a while back that might help explain this. I was teaching at a band retreat, and there were 3 drum sets set up. The room was full of people. One of the drummers there, obviously inexperienced, got on one of the drum kits and began to play the easiest rock beat you know very badly and at louder than full volume. Everyone in the room jumps, looks at him like he's a jerk, and half the people start leaving the room. He stops, embarrassed, and walks away. I hopped on another kit really quickly, seeing this as an opportunity to make a point in the session I was about to give. I picked up the sticks and started to groove my butt off at a very quiet volume. I gradually got a little louder, but not too much louder. Some people started to notice and others started to bob their heads unintentionally. A crowd started to gather around the kit, so I started to show off a little, and the people got really into it for about 5 minutes until I stopped to begin teaching. The kid who played before me, almost as if this were scripted, came up to me right afterwords and asked why everyone seemed to like my playing better than his. Explained to him, and the drummers, that when you play the drums, think of it as a conversation or a dialogue. Do you want someone you don't know to start talking to you really loudly and keep this loud brash tone up, or would you rather they invite you into a conversation and respond to you, creating a dialogue? There are a LOT of drummers who don't play to charm an audience, but to "express themselves". There's nothing wrong with that, except if you want a captive audience. Another example is hearing drummers, like in certain music stores, that just play on and on and on while you're trying to shop or look around. To most people, they're being uncourteous to those around them. They're "getting their jollies out" or "showing off" without consideration for the people around them who might not necessarily want to listen to someone play at the moment. Think of it like the number of people who probably skipped this posting because it is very long and had no breaks in it. People just don't have the attention span to give others, even if the person is being sincere. They just see it as an inconvenience and will look for a simpler path (skip the post, go into another part of the store, etc...). It's a way of objectifying something that doesn't fit into your direct taste or path.
Done.