girlfriends, wives, and the like coming to gigs

Well, since it's what i pretty much do for a living... As in, that's how I'm paying for university. Yeah, she tries to come out when she can! She's awesome, sets up, tears down, although i don't like it when she does that. I dont know why. Maybe it's my testosterone kicking in. But i appreciate that she comes. :) I know not many girlfriends go to a lot of gigs, but she tries to make it to every single one!
 
That's pretty much where my gf is at.

She does come out every now and again to some of the bigger shows, but when she does come, (as bad as it sounds), she knows her place. She knows that I'm not going to give her focus and that chances are that when I'm off the stage I'll be chatting up fans or friends more than I'll be spending time with her. I'm there to promote my music and my band, not hang out with her - we do that when I'm not playing so I can give the attention she deserves. Plus, she's well aware that it's harder to sell cd's to the female members of the audience with a gf on your arm.

My girlfriend is like that, too. She tends to hang around the bar or the back of the venue a little bit, working the merch table. It's nice. She understands that it's a business and treats it as such. You have a winner, my friend. :)
 
you guys are very lucky to have girlfriends that get involved in your music and stuff and help you with your set up... lol very few of my past girlfriends have ever bothered to even carry my stick bag....

as for the dating sumeone in the band thing... well its a complicated situation. For an example, i used to hav a band where you would hav a chick doing lead vocals, and she dated the bassist of our band. When things became complicated is when the two guitarists, both lead and rythm, accused the bassist of letting the chick choose all of the songs we were to play; the guitarists (two brothers) wanted to play punk rock, while the chick (and oviously the bassist) wanted to play stuff like Evanescence... i tried to help sort things out, but it only made it worse (as usual lol). So we pretty much had to cancel all of our gigs because the bassist didnt want to talk to the guitarists... kiddish stuff really
 
Girl friend....what's a girl friend????


:-(

At least I have drums. They love me, right?????
 
I'm wondering what it's like to have someone "help" you set up your drums. How do they know where eveything goes? How do they know what cymbal goes on what stand?
Do you sit down with your girlfriend and explain how memory-locks work? Do you show her your rug and say, "Honey, see these bits of duct tape here? That's where the ride cymbal stand goes. See, and then you attach this tom to the stand. No, not like that. Here, let me show you. Yeah, it's a little heavy, don't worry about it. Look, maybe you should be taking notes. You're going to need to have all this down by next week if you want to help me set up my drums."
 
Girl friend....what's a girl friend????


:-(

At least I have drums. They love me, right?????
haha thats where i am but my drums don't have "problems" lol.
during marching band (which is coming up really fast) we tell the newbees that they don't have time for a girl friend cuz they won't have a life if they want to be on the line

I have to admit, our shows tend to have lots of hot dancing, us getting flashed, etc, and being on stage, you have to encourage it and partake in itQUOTE]

Pennsylvania just got a whole lot sexier!
!

and of course Pa is the sexiest area of land around...mostly because the fact that so many drummers from here are active on here lol

-george
 
My fiance comes to each and every one of my gigs. She helps me set up, tear down, load in and out, and provides feedback as to how the PA sounds. She is upset if she can't make a gig. Any thoughts? Do you prefer they stay home? Let's hear your take.

When's the wedding larry?
 
Too funny.... When I was a church drummer for 7 months, my 11 year old daughter came with me during rehearsals and during the services. I put her to good use, carrying smaller drums, stick bags, stands, etc. She was a trooper because her mom is a musician, her older sis plays guitar, so she was getting a taste of the life. Also, she became very valuable during the rehearsals and sound checks. I had her stand in the back of the sanctuary and listen to my accusitc drums for loudness, sound quality, etc. Just having someone listening and knowing what to listen for was valuable for me since the sounds and tones of drums and cymbals are quite different on stage as opposed to what the audience hears.

She also provided honest feed back on my playing, as in "Dad, that first song you played sounded ok, the second you were too loud, the thrid was ok, the fourth wasn't bad but it wasn't really good either...." Out of the mouths of kids, eh?!?
 
My wife came to most (but not all) of the shows I played at when I lived in California a few years back. Most were with my band, but the ones she enjoyed the most were the "hired gun" work where I was going way off my beaten path, playing doo-wop, musicals, etc. She got to see an entirely different side of me.

She also does help me set up and tear down, and is also a pretty good critic of my performance. But one unintended benefit of her being around me was that she brought to my attention the fact that when I get focused on the gig, sometimes I turn into a real jerk, impatient and unapproachable. Not only was it causing tensions within my band that I was not seeing, but it was actually turning off some fans who wanted to come up and ask me questions, or give me compliments. Boy, what an eye opener that was. While it certainly didn't feel good at the time, it did make me more conscious of my behavior at gigs, and I worked hard at it. And what do you know, gigs became fun again. And isn't that why we all started playing anyway...?
 
My wife genuinely likes to see me play but I do it so much that she only comes to special shows. I also play a lot on tour. I obviously do not bring her and my kids with me then. We have a great & a unique situation when it comes to the music business I know that. I am a lucky man.

Any female drummers here? What does your husband/boyfriend do for you?
 
as for the dating sumeone in the band thing... well its a complicated situation. For an example, i used to hav a band where you would hav a chick doing lead vocals, and she dated the bassist of our band. When things became complicated is when the two guitarists, both lead and rythm, accused the bassist of letting the chick choose all of the songs we were to play; the guitarists (two brothers) wanted to play punk rock, while the chick (and oviously the bassist) wanted to play stuff like Evanescence... i tried to help sort things out, but it only made it worse (as usual lol). So we pretty much had to cancel all of our gigs because the bassist didnt want to talk to the guitarists... kiddish stuff really

That's why we have a "No Chicks Allowed" policy hahah... even though it doesn't apply to my current band since the other members are married and I have been in a relationship for 4 years... but yeah... dating a band member is no good. This is especially bad because of all the politics involved in bands... then adding all the dating politics in too... oh god... why would anyone want to date someone in their band?!

As for my GF... we only had our first gig last week and she came... she helped set up a little... but i feel i played better because she was there. Apparently it is also a big turn-on to watch me play.... hahaha... (this is the first time she's seen me perform)
I would like her to keep coming to them but I see that if we play out all the time she prob won't want to...
 
"Honey, see these bits of duct tape here? That's where the ride cymbal stand goes. See, and then you attach this tom to the stand. No, not like that. Here, let me show you. Yeah, it's a little heavy, don't worry about it. Look, maybe you should be taking notes. You're going to need to have all this down by next week if you want to help me set up my drums."

hahahah... that sounds kind of familiar... like...
Her: "What can i do to help?" ...
me: "you see all those wing nuts on the bottoms of the cymbal stands? start by opening all them and open the legs on the stands..."
then i look over and she's loosening up all sort of wing nuts that have nothing to do with the legs...
I appreciated her help but i can say i really don't like other people moving my stuff around because some of it is fragile or if the wrong wing nuts get turned then all the stands are not in the right position...
 
We've had a lot of good times in the past when all the wives/GFs/SOs are friends, and they come to the gigs as their night out.

Wedding/private gigs, no way. It shouldn't have to be said, but believe it or not some people drag their girls or whatever into private gigs and it makes for an uncomfortable scene for everyone, including the buyer.
 
That's why we have a "No Chicks Allowed" policy hahah... even though it doesn't apply to my current band since the other members are married and I have been in a relationship for 4 years... but yeah... dating a band member is no good. This is especially bad because of all the politics involved in bands... then adding all the dating politics in too... oh god... why would anyone want to date someone in their band?!


hahaha i remember we had to cancel a gig one time because the two lovers wanted to go on a date and they had forgotten that we had to gig. They basically didnt show up at the show....... "luckily" nearly no one showed up to see us that night XD... i guess that had to happen lol.
ye i agree with you that it makes no sense to be dating someone in the band; i told the guy he would have plenty of groupies to choose from lol... it didnt really make him laugh...
 
Hmm, not sure about this topic!!! My wife will come and she does help me which is great. But when the other wives attend a show you never know what to expect. Two of the wives are always battling with each other for some reason and my wife gets stuck in the middle and I have to listen to it all on the way home. Or they critique the crap out of us "that sounded awful" "why is he singing that" "I saw you look at that girl" Or if they are all getting along and they don't want to listen to us for the 100Th time they go shopping together, or if we are working a restaurant they eat and drink so basically I'm working for free.
 
:) you know i MEANT "play drums in front of an audience" RIGHT?!
Very funny interpretation though... (if i'm reading your insinuation correctly)

I had to refrain myself from quoting another section of your post and offering you congrats, this is a family show.
 
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