Should I be annoyed?

And that's perfectly fine if you don't want to play at the subsequent weddings of his other two daughters. There are a bunch of DJ's sitting in the wings just waiting for bands to lose their shit over such trivial matters. I'll happily continue this conversation in the "Where did all the good gigs go?" thread.

So destruction of valuable gear is a "trivial matter" to you? Wow, you sure can tell which "musicians" make too much money.
 
The keyboardist acted professionally by servicing the customer's request.

The keyboardist, and band, acted unprofessionally by not having it sorted ahead of time, and instead of sorting it out immediately afterward, causing an escalation of malcontent rather than saying, "Hey guys, this shouldn't have happened. How do we fix this so it isn't a problem next time?".

Or TLDR...

The keyboardist wasn't the problem, he was the symptom of the problem.

This is like the "Twilight Zone"....lol... You are very entertaining Kamak!

So, just to clarify, if the keyboardist's drunk girlfriend told the father that it would be "no problem" for his son's band to use the gear and play a set...

The band, if they are *really* "professional", MUST satisfy the request, because afterall, she is only a "symptom" and not the problem?

I have to believe you are chuckling while typing this stuff out.... I know I'm chuckling as I read it!
 
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Because it's not free access, and it's not analogous to the teen/car example.

You control what they have access to, because you're prepared. You pull your three B8/ZBT backup cymbals out of the gig bag, the gnarly sticks that you have as last-resort-spares and were going to throw out anyway, let them know they can adjust the drum stool (only), you break it you buy it, and let them go to town.

After they're done, you tell them how great they were, laugh at their stupid jokes, etc. You then tell the father of the bride what a great time you and the band had, and how lovely and happy his daughter looked.

The only decision you should have to make on the fly is "chicken or fish".

I will, however, give you credit for the above level of preparedness. If you indeed were that prepared you are to be commended....

I would also add, that any "father of the bride" who didn't understand the validity of a resounding "no" to his last minute and highly presumptuous request, is a father I'd probably not want to play a second and third wedding for...
 
Ok folks, next time any of you do a gig in a relatively informal setting, just tell your lead guitarist that your kid brother/sister/son/daughter's band are playing too and that you have told their guitarist that it'll be fine to use all your guitarist's gear, guitar, lead, amp, pedal board, the lot. You can be sure you'll get told where to go.

It really does seem that it's drummers who are always the ones who are expected to roll over and that their kit is seen as some piece of playground equipment that anyone can jump on whenever they want.
 
Open flames. Bodily fluid exchanges. Unlubricated insertions. Edibles containing okra.... I'd have to find our old rider for the full list.

;-)

There's some really good dishes of Indian origin containing okra. Just sayin. The problem with that vegetable is the slime factor, but prepared correctly, that nice bitterness is a good flavor.

Update: whilst looking at Okra dish recipes after posting, I came across the fact that Okra is a fruit, not a vegetable.
 
...It really does seem that it's drummers who are always the ones who are expected to roll over and that their kit is seen as some piece of playground equipment that anyone can jump on whenever they want.

Seriously agree....

So, the solution is pretty simple. If you are playing in a band and want to compete at the level Kamak and others have indicated, and "the band" intends to be as accommodating as possible to the "father's of the brides" and other people paying for your services-

Then the entity known as "the band" can add a drum kit to the GROUP expenses, complete with those extra cymbals and those chewed up sticks that kamak mentioned. This way the drummer is covered and "the band" is covered...

Sounds like a win-win, no?
 
OK, and HOW Pray tell, do we ENFORCE that when the time comes? I prefer to PREVENT the damage, rather than find ways to make up for it.

I stand with my statement. NO ONE uses my gear without MY express permission. PERIOD. Not a drum kit, not a guitar pick. I have been burned too many times.

How, to enforce? No prayer involved. How about openly demanding the keyboard player to cover the damage he caused, or the patron who damaged it. You know we all have a voice. If he had any decency he would offer.

You're still not getting it. Its ok....I mean ITS OK that NO ONE uses your gear. That works for YOU. But this doesn't have to do with people making too much money, or not, so no need to go there judging members here, if they have money, or not, and what kind of musicians they are, to lend their gear. Its OK, nobody uses YOUR gear. I think WE get that.
 
And that's perfectly fine if you don't want to play at the subsequent weddings of his other two daughters. There are a bunch of DJ's sitting in the wings just waiting for bands to lose their shit over such trivial matters. I'll happily continue this conversation in the "Where did all the good gigs go?" thread.

After what happened to the original poster I'd decline any subsequent offers - this would be a 'good gig' I could live without. The OP played the good guy and was amenable by letting the guy use his drums, provided he use his own personals, which was agreed - then totally ignored, and he retuned his drums for shits and giggles. I guess there is a difference of opinion on what constitutes a trivial matter and being abused.
 
This thread is reminding me of an episode of Judge Judy, where drummer Robert Williams was suing Johnny Rotten over his drums, and whether or not they were used after he was let go, or quit because he was supposedly hit.

This thread is reminding me of the movie stepbrothers when Dale continually warned Will Ferrell not to touch his drums, and then Will Ferrell put his ________ on his drum kit
 
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Because it's not free access, and it's not analogous to the teen/car example.

You control what they have access to, because you're prepared. You pull your three B8/ZBT backup cymbals out of the gig bag, the gnarly sticks that you have as last-resort-spares and were going to throw out anyway, let them know they can adjust the drum stool (only), you break it you buy it, and let them go to town.

After they're done, you tell them how great they were, laugh at their stupid jokes, etc. You then tell the father of the bride what a great time you and the band had, and how lovely and happy his daughter looked.

The only decision you should have to make on the fly is "chicken or fish".

It's analogous in that someone thinks they have free reign of your personal possession because they want it, not because they have any right to it. Would it be analogous if a professional race car driver were asked to swap out his track tires so that the kid down the block could give it a spin?

It sounds to me like you're suggesting the alternative to not having back up gear for this exact situation is to either allow anyone access to your equipment as is, or to not be in a performing band at all.

If you believe someone should be so prepared as to allow and encourage the use of their instrument by a stranger as a perfectly reasonable request then I can probably think of a million other things that you wouldn't say no to.

I mean, where do you draw the line? Is it cool if someone sings back up for a few songs? What if someone sees your cowbell and it's not enough to yell "More cowbell," but he actually wants to play it during your set? If you've got an extra mic for the singer and a cheap cowbell you're not worried about, what's the harm? Does it matter more to give these jackoffs the opportunity to feel special than it does not to alienate an audience that might not get the joke, or even realize theses tools are not a part of the act? I certainly know what the professional choice is, which seems to be the crux of this discussion.

How do you handle song requests? If someone asks even once for Freebird, do you oblige? What if after Freebird someone wants to hear Stairway? Never mind that you're a jazz combo that doesn't actually have those in your repertoire. Does every band need to know every popular song?

Seriously, how far is too far?
 
How, to enforce? No prayer involved. How about openly demanding the keyboard player to cover the damage he caused, or the patron who damaged it. You know we all have a voice. If he had any decency he would offer.

You're still not getting it. Its ok....I mean ITS OK that NO ONE uses your gear. That works for YOU. But this doesn't have to do with people making too much money, or not, so no need to go there judging members here, if they have money, or not, and what kind of musicians they are, to lend their gear. Its OK, nobody uses YOUR gear. I think WE get that.

If someone thinks damage to expensive gear is "trivial" then they either have more money than they need, or they are stupid and probably won't have the gear needed to survive as a working musician very long. You choose.

And like I said, I'd rather PREVENT the damage in the first place, than try and get reparations AFTER the fact. I stand firm on this.


And "Pray tell" is a figure of speech.
 
Anyone want to borrow Mozart1220's gear? Give me a shout. You can re-arrange anything you want.
 
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