Dealing with a band member you don't like

IMHO, if you don't like someone in the band, why are you still there? Life's too short.
 
So here's the question. What's the easiest way to deal with a band member you dislike? Do I just ignore her (it's very easy), do I try to like her and maybe look for positives, or do I just hope that she quits (been doing it already)?


Pray about it, God will reveal her faults in due time. In the meantime, be the bigger person and show hospitality. Express your concern to your dad in a polite manner.
 
IMHO, if you don't like someone in the band, why are you still there? Life's too short.

Because it's his dad's band, and secondly it's a praise band. You don't just QUIT a praise band if you don't like someone unless it is affecting you completely and you've tried everything. It's a spiritual gifting outlet, not like other bands you'll find playing at various bars and such.
 
IMHO, if you don't like someone in the band, why are you still there? Life's too short.

Truly the dumbest reply I've ever gotten to any thread on here, did you even read it? I clearly mentioned that I love everything about it except for her, and she doesn't even sing every week!

Just thought I'd provide a little update to this situation. She practiced with us again this past week and will be singing with us again tomorrow. Practice was fine, she didn't really say much at all, she said hi to me on the way in, so it's all good and fine for now. The thought will always be there in the back of my mind, "what if she does this", "what if she says this", etc., but at least we've gone 1 week without any troubles. To give her some credit, it's definitely a good thing we have her tomorrow since our strongest singer is sick and won't be singing, as our other singer tends to sing out of tune if she goes too high in her range and the other (her boss if I didn't mention that already) has a very low voice for a woman, whereas she has a more normal range and sings pretty consistently in tune. As long as she doesn't sing too loud, which she has a tendency to.

The one problem I still have with her (and it is one I truly can do nothing about), is that I can tell that she really craves attention as she is constantly dancing and clapping when the others don't. I think it has something to do with her lack of physical attractiveness compared to the others (she looks like a librarian). I kinda hope it dies down but I'm not getting my hopes up.
 
Truly the dumbest reply I've ever gotten to any thread on here, did you even read it? I clearly mentioned that I love everything about it except for her, and she doesn't even sing every week!

Truly the most arrogantly worded reply to a post I've ever read.

I think it has something to do with her lack of physical attractiveness compared to the others (she looks like a librarian).

I thought that if you were playing in a Church you were meant to be religious. I only mention this because you seem to be coming to some pretty swift superficial judgements about this lady despite the fact that your religion implores you not to.
 
Truly the most arrogantly worded reply to a post I've ever read.



I thought that if you were playing in a Church you were meant to be religious. I only mention this because you seem to be coming to some pretty swift superficial judgements about this lady despite the fact that your religion implores you not to.

This whole post is so ridiculously out of line I can't believe it. Just because I'm a Christian does not mean I can't find one woman to be less attractive than others, that I can't think someone's a jerk, etc. Christians are humans just like anyone else. What made you think otherwise? Probably just another excuse for close minded people like you to bash Christianity when you don't even know me!
 
Just thought I'd add another little update for the people that weren't jerks and actually gave me good advice that the service went really well today and I don't think I'm gonna have to many problems with her and if I do I'll just mention them to my dad in the nicest way possible.
 
The one problem I still have with her (and it is one I truly can do nothing about), is that I can tell that she really craves attention as she is constantly dancing and clapping when the others don't..

I've seen people do this too. I can't quite put my finger on it nor understand why certain people do this, but it's almost like they are using worship to garner attention to themselves...and I'm not sure if it's a "I'm a super-christian praising God" type thing, due to insecurity, or if it is just plain trying to get in the spotlight.

I have had so many ridiculous things happen to me in life, I cannot put words to them, and I gave up fighting trying to figure it out, and now instead of getting angry I simply sigh to myself and continue doing what makes me happy. And for me, that's playing music. If someone else wants to be a super Christian or wants to hog the spotlight, I usually ignore it, even though I am embarassed for that person.

And I think it's funny how things can be taken different ways - for example, mediocrefunkybeat felt that your post was judgemental and out of line, and you explained it well that you simply have feelings too. I agree with both of you and yet understand both sides at the same time.

I struggle with what people think of me as a Christian. And I honestly have to say - if people see Christ by what I do on a daily basis, Christianity is doomed! But luckily it doesn't end there, as Christ reveals himself in many ways, and when we foul up (which I occasionally and often do), there's other opportunities for that bystander to find Christ, but we should do the best we can to make Christ shine brighter - not because it's a religious thing, but because "He delivered us out of the dominion of darkness, transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son..." (Col. 1:13). And once the eyes of a soul have been opened by the one and only Christ, there's no turning back!

And the beat goes on...
 
I had an issue with my previous church because they hired a music director right out of college, who took over the praise band and made wholesale changes in the way we had been playing the music for the previous 10+years. I can adapt, so that wasn't the big problem. The problem was that he thought the band consisted of a bunch of out-of-touch old men, and he disregarded and disrespected us in the way he managed the group. He was also ADD, and raced through practices, and lectured us at every step of the way.

I wanted to stay, and struggled with what to do. But eventually he so dampended me enthusiasm to serve God, and then I knew it was time to move on. So me and a few other folks in the band left and formed our own praise band, and now we play every Thursday night at a comtemporary service at a different church. This all started about 4 years ago, and it has been a great experience since.
 
This whole post is so ridiculously out of line I can't believe it. Just because I'm a Christian does not mean I can't find one woman to be less attractive than others, that I can't think someone's a jerk, etc. Christians are humans just like anyone else. What made you think otherwise? Probably just another excuse for close minded people like you to bash Christianity when you don't even know me!

Matthew 7, Verses 1-2.

Just pointing it out hypocrisy when I see it.
 
Man, and I thought the King James version was poetic. I need to pick up this copy.

Yeah its a new edition ..my fav is Matthew 7, Verses 3-2

And on the Sabbath thou shall purchase 6 cans of lager and watch a horror film.!

Joking aside..

Glad things are working out drummindan8484..its not worth getting wound up about as these things have a habit of working themselves out.It sounds like you have a nice set up there so just enjoy your drumming and leave other `s to deal with the finer details.
 
Well, Leviticus has some material on the use of 'Rocks' so I suppose it's still relevant.

Just to point out, I'm not at all religious but I know my share of Bible references. I also think the King James Bible is one of the greatest books ever published in the English language. You're right, it is poetic and beautiful.
 
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