Which band to quit.

DrumDoug

Senior Member
Hey Guys. I'm having a problem making a decision and thought I would get your advice. Basically, I'm rehearsing too much. I play in a top 40 country cover band, a blues band, every week at my home church, and once a month filling in at another church. I'm rehearsing 4 nights a week on top of gigging two or three times a month on Fridays and Saturdays. All this on top of a full time job. My wife is complaining that I'm never at home. I'm getting burned out. I don't have time to learn all the songs properly for any of the groups because I don't have time to sit down and practice. The couple of nights a week that I am home, I don't want to spend practicing and learning music. I want to spend it with my wife. So, I need to quit a band. I just can't decide which one. It's either going to be the blues band or the country band. They both have their pros and cons. The blues band has been together longer, but doesn't gig much. The gigs we do tend to be nicer because they are in the afternoons or early evenings. No staying up until three in the morning playing to drunks. Blues is my favorite style of music to play in general, but this band has it's issues. The leader likes older blues like Muddy Waters, and Little Walter. I like that too, but that's all we play. Out of the 40 or so songs we play, there are two songs with straight eights, and six slow 6/8 songs. The other 30 songs are all shuffles. I try to vary them up as much as I can, but there is only so much I can do when all the other guys are basically playing the same song over and over with different words. I've brought this up a couple of times that all of our songs sound the same and we need to find ways to vary up the set list. They are not the greatest musicians in the world, and to them, a slightly different guitar lick means the song sounds different. They argue that the records don't all sound alike, and I point out that's because it's different singers, different instrumentation, different players. We are the same guys doing the same thing on every song. The country band, hasn't been together too long, but it's made of better musicians. We gig more but it tends to be playing at bars, 9-1 or 10-2. That can be rough especially when I have to get up the next day at 6 in the morning for work or church. Because the country band is so new, I'm worried that if I pick that one, it might not be together a year from now and then I would be out of a gig all together. The country band has a lot more potential than the blues band. I was in a band with the singer before and we opened for some touring B and C level acts that came through town. I like both bands and don't really want to quit either one, I just don't have time to do them both. I'm leaning towards quitting the blues band just because it's not quite as good as the country band, but then I would really miss playing blues. If I quit the country band, I think I will miss out on playing a lot of really nice gigs and will be stuck playing shuffles all night long. Either way, I am going to let one group of people down, and I think that is the hardest part of the decision.
 
Boy can I relate when you say "the other 30 songs are shuffles"...The blues bands I'm in now don't do that, but I've done many whole nights of nothing but shuffles and you are right, there needs to be rhythmic variety. The shuffle creativity well starts to dry up after about 20 back to back shuffles..All the blues music I play falls under about maybe 6 different rhythms..shuffle, straight, 12/8, 3 over 2, rhumba, 2/4....that's the lions share of the rhythms, and it's enough, as long as you don't do too many songs with the same rhythm back to back.

Back to your issue...I'd keep all the bands and cut way back on rehearsals. 4 nights a week is re-diculous! Once every 2 weeks per band. Which means one night a week rehearsal for you. If one of the bands can't accept that, then the first one to let you go will make the decision for you, and you maintain your integrity.
 
I'd quit the country band. More gigs, yes, but seems like it's more detrimental to your health and relationship with your wife most importantly. Blues gigs are fewer but nicer and earlier. Just have a band meeting and state your case that you want more variety in the songs you play. Good luck!
 
Hey Guys. I'm having a problem making a decision and thought I would get your advice. Basically, I'm rehearsing too much. I play in a top 40 country cover band, a blues band, every week at my home church, and once a month filling in at another church. I'm rehearsing 4 nights a week on top of gigging two or three times a month on Fridays and Saturdays. All this on top of a full time job. My wife is complaining that I'm never at home. I'm getting burned out. I don't have time to learn all the songs properly for any of the groups because I don't have time to sit down and practice. The couple of nights a week that I am home, I don't want to spend practicing and learning music. I want to spend it with my wife. So, I need to quit a band. I just can't decide which one. It's either going to be the blues band or the country band. They both have their pros and cons. The blues band has been together longer, but doesn't gig much. The gigs we do tend to be nicer because they are in the afternoons or early evenings. No staying up until three in the morning playing to drunks. Blues is my favorite style of music to play in general, but this band has it's issues. The leader likes older blues like Muddy Waters, and Little Walter. I like that too, but that's all we play. Out of the 40 or so songs we play, there are two songs with straight eights, and six slow 6/8 songs. The other 30 songs are all shuffles. I try to vary them up as much as I can, but there is only so much I can do when all the other guys are basically playing the same song over and over with different words. I've brought this up a couple of times that all of our songs sound the same and we need to find ways to vary up the set list. They are not the greatest musicians in the world, and to them, a slightly different guitar lick means the song sounds different. They argue that the records don't all sound alike, and I point out that's because it's different singers, different instrumentation, different players. We are the same guys doing the same thing on every song. The country band, hasn't been together too long, but it's made of better musicians. We gig more but it tends to be playing at bars, 9-1 or 10-2. That can be rough especially when I have to get up the next day at 6 in the morning for work or church. Because the country band is so new, I'm worried that if I pick that one, it might not be together a year from now and then I would be out of a gig all together. The country band has a lot more potential than the blues band. I was in a band with the singer before and we opened for some touring B and C level acts that came through town. I like both bands and don't really want to quit either one, I just don't have time to do them both. I'm leaning towards quitting the blues band just because it's not quite as good as the country band, but then I would really miss playing blues. If I quit the country band, I think I will miss out on playing a lot of really nice gigs and will be stuck playing shuffles all night long. Either way, I am going to let one group of people down, and I think that is the hardest part of the decision.
That's a tough one man.I know the feeling of never being home, it sucks. I also know the feeling of being stretched out too far. To me it's an easy choice.I'm not much of a church goer.
By the way , what is a home church ? Are you a pastor or something ?
 
That's a tough one man.I know the feeling of never being home, it sucks. I also know the feeling of being stretched out too far. To me it's an easy choice.I'm not much of a church goer.
By the way , what is a home church ? Are you a pastor or something ?

To me, quitting the church team is not an option. Without getting too touchy feeley about it, God gave me my desire and what little talent I have for drums, he is the first one to get it back. When I say home church, I mean the church that I actually attend and am a member of. I know the quitar player at the other church and they are small and don't have a regular drummer. They meet on Sunday nights and I help them out once a month. That one doesn't take up too much time and it's fun to play with some younger players that actually make the modern worhsip songs sound modern.
 
I kind of agree with bigbang, I'd forfeit the church band. I do may projects like yourself (my band, couple jam bands, church band, teach lessons...) it'll wear ya thin for sure, but you have to decide what makes you happiest as a musician.

I find it intresting you didn't mention anything about your church bands... why is that? Is that more of an obligation than a choice? That's the other reason I think you should give up the church thing... It didn't even make your "honorable mention" list. :)

My opinion is you need to decide what's giving you more of what you want, and stay with that. If that happens to be the Country band and it does break up, well, simply find another one and keep going.

Maybe the ultimate answer is start your own Blues band with quality musicians that have alike tastes in music...
 
The bands being considered for forfeit are only the blues and the country bands.
 
No,No absolutely cool dude, You'll have to forgive my ignorance.
For me, I don't work a day job anymore and haven't for quite some time, so when I get called to play...I pretty much have to take it to get paid.That's what makes the choice easy for me. Unfortunately , it takes me away from home for extended periods of time and that always sucks after a week or two.
As for your dilemma...you're gonna have to follow you're own heart. It seems like you're weighing the pros and cons of both and that would be a good start.
Good luck to you sir.


Oh and I agree with larryace....man, that is a lot of rehearsing.
 
I'm agreeing with LarryAce here. Cut back on the number of rehearsals per band. 4 rehearsals per week is a bit much and hard to maintain healthy relationships - even with the wife. If any of your bandmates gripe and complain, simply tell them of your need to be home some nights to be with family. If they are sincere and truly friends and bandmates, they will understand and accept your situation.

If they don't, come up with a lie that you have been contacted by an international touring act and they want you to be their drummer and make millions and be an international drumming star. :)
 
The church band: You're going to be there anyways, right? Play that gig. If you're rehearsing on a week night with them, switch it to in the morning before the service. No need to leave the house to rehearse one evening every week with them--that's just insane! Plus, the members of a worship team *should* be good enough to just show up ready to go, with mp3s sent out that week or whatever.

Blues band: Sounds like the band you're least happy playing, but feel most invested in. It's hard, but if something's gotta give, and you're not getting the satisfaction or feedback you need from these guys, that's the choice for cutting.

Country band: If it has potential, and you're willing to invest in it, and you enjoy the freshness of it, stick with them. If playing the late gigs is too much for you, don't worry about cutting them--you can always say, "I'm sorry guys, but this is the newest band I'm involved with, and something has to give. Last one joined is the first one cut..."

...but, yeah, that's TOO MUCH rehearsing. I'm in 6 bands and play at 2 churches and only rehearse 2-3 times a week, never in the evenings, 'cause I block the evenings and weekends out for family time and gigs.
 
To me, quitting the church team is not an option. Without getting too touchy feeley about it, God gave me my desire and what little talent I have for drums, he is the first one to get it back. When I say home church, I mean the church that I actually attend and am a member of. I know the quitar player at the other church and they are small and don't have a regular drummer. They meet on Sunday nights and I help them out once a month. That one doesn't take up too much time and it's fun to play with some younger players that actually make the modern worhsip songs sound modern.

Then maybe you should ask God. I will say that He will answer you in some way.

I would love to have a church gig but alas.....our church just has a piano and organ and most Sundays....just the piano.

I also play in a cover band on Saturday nights but I don't have the dilemma that you are facing. Just pray about it.
 
Back
Top