I don't have direct knowledge, but I did have a college band director who did this every summer (albeit as a trumpet player). Thus, my comments are all based on his and my own observations as I watched the crew very carefully on my own cruise (with this very thought in mind).
No offense, but you stated that you have no direct knowledge. I have played on cruise ships and can say that a good amount of your statements are just plain wrong!!!
First, I have no idea how to get your foot in the door. I'm landlocked and have to travel 1000 miles to the nearest cruise port. That part, you're on your own.
You can often audition by phone or videotape.
You will likely have to board with the crew. That means small quarters on a very low deck, and you'll probably have to share with 1-3 other guys.
I don't know of any cruise ship musicians who share rooms with two or three people. The common setup is two people per room unless you are the musical director/band leader. In that case, you will usually get your own cabin.
You'll eat what they (the crew) eat
As musicians, you will usually have staff privileges which are higher that crew privledges. I ate in the staff mess with waiters and waitresses serving me breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If I did not like what they had, I would go to the guest area, where I could eat from almost any restaurant (with a few that were off limits such as the grand dining room.)
...we saw the same cats playing in the early evening show, the (different) big evening show, then doing an hour of jazz in the afternoon,
You may have to play more than one show, but I still worked less than 20 hrs. per week. Not bad for a full time paycheck. Drummers and other rhythm section players usually work more than horn players, but we also get paid more. This is because they need the rhythm section for talent shows and jazz sets.
and I even saw one of them cleaning one of the dining rooms after lunch!
I have heard so many rumors such as this, but never, ever, ever, met a cruise ship musician who needed to clean, wait tables, etc...
Dancers on the ship sometimes will do other activities such as bingo or sell raffle tickets, but they only dance a few hours a week in the production show. They also usually make a commission on raffle ticket sales.
You are, as far as the Coast Guard is concerned, you are an employee of a sea vessel so you will need to help direct passengers in the boat drill. This is something that is required of almost everyone on the ship.
As far as cleaning, I did not even clean my own room! There is a cabin steward who cleans, changes sheets, etc... You do need to tip him/her.
You won't get to go home... You'll also be facing a long time "on the clock," as it were.
That is correct. You will be living on the ship, so you will not have the opportunity to go back home for a day, then come back etc... But you also will not need to buy gas for the car, pay rent, etc...
...and there's really no "off work".
I had one day off a week. My day off was usually when the ship was in port in the Bahamas, Cozumel, etc...
You can't just go relax in the hot tub or sit on the top deck or anything like that- those are guest privileges. Crew are usually onboard for several weeks, 24-7. I'm not sure about special arrangements for musicians.
On the ships that I worked on, musicians can use some of the guest areas such as the gym. The pool was off limits though. Not a big deal since there are beaches close by when you are in port. You could not sit on the lounge chairs on the top deck, but you could sit at the tables and eat, or just relax by the rails and watch the water.
Remember that they are the guests. If you are sitting in a guest area and it starts to get busy, get up so the guests can sit down. They are the ones paying. If it weren't for them, where would your paycheck come from?
Some lines require that you wear an officer's style uniform in guest areas. I only had to wear a name badge on my shirt. Other than that, I blended right in with the guests.
I did get to talk with the house rock band about their situation, and they spent 9 months on the ship with only a few breaks here and there. For some reason, they didn't have other responsibilities on board (I never really understood why), but would only play their two hour set once a night and call it good. Not sure if that is normal, as it's the first time I've heard of such a thing.
Why would the band have any other responsibilities? That what they are hired for - to play.
Is life on a cruise ship always fun? No. There are times when the weather is bad and the ship is rocking. It is a military style form of govt., so sometimes officers like to push their weight around. But with all the musicians that I've worked with, I wonder why (if these rumors above are true) I have not met another cruise ship musician who cleans rooms or waits tables in his off time.
Jeff
Needless to say, my director enjoyed it well enough to continue doing it for many years- he'd often get the chance to explore the ports and got to know them rather well (most ships make the same trip back and forth over and over and over again). I'd assume the pay is also worthwhile.
