girlfriends, wives, and the like coming to gigs

Larry

"Uncle Larry"
My fiance comes to each and every one of my gigs. She helps me set up, tear down, load in and out, and provides feedback as to how the PA sounds. She is upset if she can't make a gig. Any thoughts? Do you prefer they stay home? Let's hear your take.
 
You sir have won at life lol.But seriously i love when my girlfriend comes i play better when shes there.But she has never helped me set up or tear down she will sit down and watch me do it.
 
Sounds like she is really into what you are doing. That's great that she helps out too. One of my Ex-blondes used to come to my gigs wearing a short, tight leather mini skirt......damn what a distraction! She never helped out though, not even to get me a beer!
 
Yes I am the envy of all my fellow musicians when she is setting up my stands and helping out. I am lucky. She is the best.
 
Lucky bastard indeed.
I have a wonderful and beautiful girlfriend but wonder if she owuld help me set up. I am currently not gigging very often but if she had the chance I think she'd come.
 
My girflriend is at all my gigs!...since it's my right hand :(. Seriously though, you are lucky.
 
Hi
After 30 plus years of marriage,3 kids,4 grandchildren and rehearsal's at the house she rarely goes to gigs! I'm just happy that she let's me go to the gig!!!!!! Most likely she happy to get me out of the house! Denis
 
I have a very hot wife, who helps with set-up and sound when she comes to shows. However, she rarely comes, which is ok with me. I gig way too often (multiple times a week, frequently multiple shows in a day over the summer) to disrupt her life that often. She is also into painting, and does her best work when I'm not around to distract her, so her best time to paint is when I gig.

I have to admit, our shows tend to have lots of hot dancing, us getting flashed, etc, and being on stage, you have to encourage it and partake in it (both when it's easy and when it's ugly chicks and you wish they would pull their shirts back down), so even though she is ok with that, I find it easier to roll with that stuff when she isn't around.
 
I have to admit, our shows tend to have lots of hot dancing, us getting flashed, etc, and being on stage, you have to encourage it and partake in itQUOTE]

Pennsylvania just got a whole lot sexier!



Always had the girl-in-the-audience thing going: Get done playing and they come up to you. For the next few shows, had someone to help me lug stuff from the car : )
One ended up being a girlfriend for 1 1/2 years - and she went to every gig and recruited a ton of her [cute] girlfriends for each show. Suddenly my guy friends were making their way to all the shows too. She was a groupie/roadie/promoter all in one (unfortunately she was unstable/childish/high-maintenance as well)

Now it gets tricky when the current girl comes [to every show] and there will be 4 ex's in the audience who didin't mention they were coming (the girlie is in Vietnam for a solid month, so I don't have to worry too much about awkwardness/cat-fights)... Tomorrow night I'm playing in Pasadena, and 3 of them live nearby and all said "see you then".

..."I'd rather you didn't"

"don't be silly, I'll see you there"

"It's not silly - it's 'I don't want trouble'"

"Oh I'll be good [this time]"



we will see!
 
To The Colonel:

My advice is to take care of your privates!

Peace
 
My girlfriend is in two minds with this. I'm not in a band but my my girlfriend really wants me to be because she wants go out with the hot drummer (her words not mine, honest), on the other hand she's be worried about the attention I'd be getting. I think she'd be at the front of the stage drooling over me but also starting cat-fights with any other girl that looks at me. What can I say, women can't keep their hands off me.
 
I read the tag line and thought this thread would go in a completely different direction. My thoughts are probably different to the way folks have been commenting. If you are a hobbiest who plays only occasionally then I say bring the whole family, the wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/brother/Mom and Dad and make the gig an occasion. If you are a serious musician, however, and hope to make a career out of this I can't help but come to a different conclusion. If you were a plumber would you take your girlfriend to work with you? I have seen more bands fall apart because of significant others than you would believe. If you are supposed to be a professional then go to work and do your job. Now, there is nothing wrong with your significant other turning up for the show as long as they understand you are at work - that you can't get hammered with them - that you can't hang out with them and, once again, that you are at work. This is a message that rarely seems to get through! And, under no circumstances do you bring significant others to rehearsals or recording sessions (unless they are in the business too!)

Having said all that, I have clients and friends who are at the top of the professional tree and for certain gigs they always turn upn with their wives. C'est la vie . . .

Paul
 
Since we are talking about relationships what are your guys experinces dating band members is it difficult.Thankfully my girl is number 1 groupie not a music playing girl im just wondering is all
 
I guess I'll have to take the other side here. I much prefer to be alone at work, except for the other players of course, because that's what I do and I like to be able to be in my own space, so to speak, when I'm doing it.
I like to get to the gig by myself, set up by myself, get myself together, warm up on the pad, have a beer, and not have to entertain or otherwise pay attention to anyone or anything except the job at hand. It's my time, my life, my world.
My wife works nights so she can't come to my gigs, and when she's off the last thing she wants to do is hang around a night club. She'll come see the band play every now and then but we respect each other's right to go our own ways.
In the past I've had girlfriends come to gigs and honestly speaking I found it annoying. I'm very jealous of my musical world and I don't like having any distractions around.
 
I had to chime in on this thread I just couldn't resist. I HATE it when a girlfriend is at the gig. I am there to play and when my girlfriends used to come to gigs it was nothing but a huge distraction. My moto always was hey I don't go to work with you, you don't go to work with me. It really was a pain when I played clubs. Now when the family comes to a gig its much easier, but I still have to make sure their tickets are at willcall, make sure the kids have backstage passes and make sure everything is cool with them before i start warming up. So it still messes with my prep time before the gig, but it better now.

Joe
 
I would say you are VERY fortunate. She is demonstrating her commitment by being involved in what YOU love to do and are passionate about. My band's last drummer quit because his new girlfriend didn't like him spending any time away from her (very selfish)

My wife still supports me and the band by selling CD's, coming to shows and wearing the band's T's when she goes out. You have a good fiance who loves sharing time with you. You are blessed.
 
I gig 3 or 4 times a week. I've been doing this for most of the 15 years that my wife and I've been together.

She'll go every now and then if she knows some of the other band members girlfriends or wives will be there. The last thing she wants to do is sit by herself and get "hit on" all night.

Other than that...she'd rather stay home. She's seen me play many, many times. It's all old hat to her.
 
I have not gigged out yet but we are getting close. My wife does come to open mics with me and encourages me to get up there and play. Me and my band practice twice a week in my basement after work and the wife is very accomadating.

She will come down and offer beer, applause, and even criticism although she really does not know anything about music which kinda rubbed me the wrong way at 1st, but my lead guitarist told me that those are 90% of the type of people we will be playing for so her criticism is very important and more helpful for what we are trying to do.

This is a good thread, I always thought that it would be great if I could pay my way in life by doing nothing but playing drums but after reading some of the posts here it is kinda sad that it is just like a regular job. Not sure I would want to do it full time if I could not enjoy it the way I do now.
 
My girlfriend comes to a gig every now and again, but it's usually the important ones. We gig 2-3 times a week but most of them are just bar/club shows, generally crowds of 30 or less. Like someone said earlier, even if she isn't working the last thing she wants to do is sit around in a smokey bar by herselfing getting "hit on". And I totally understand that I would feel the same.

Every few months we'll score an opening support slot for a signed band at a major venue (200-300 or more crowd) and she always does everything possible to make those and I think that's awesome. For those usually i'm pretty nerve wracked and she somehow manages to calm me down with some encouraging words. I actually prefer her there for those shows I feel more calm and confident.

Another good point made above is the female attention brought on by being in a band, which is much more prominent in my case, in a smaller more intimate place like a bar/club in which I can handle my own, dont need the woman there making cat fights, im a good boy :)
 
She's seen me play many, many times.

That's pretty much where my gf is at.

She does come out every now and again to some of the bigger shows, but when she does come, (as bad as it sounds), she knows her place. She knows that I'm not going to give her focus and that chances are that when I'm off the stage I'll be chatting up fans or friends more than I'll be spending time with her. I'm there to promote my music and my band, not hang out with her - we do that when I'm not playing so I can give the attention she deserves. Plus, she's well aware that it's harder to sell cd's to the female members of the audience with a gf on your arm.
 
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