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  #41  
Old 11-18-2011, 08:50 PM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

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Originally Posted by sticks4drums View Post
Well you won't meet Miss perfect, but you might meet someone that is just right for you. I did. :)
Lucky you. Seriously though, I know exactly how the OP feels having been in that exact same position myself this time last year. It was my first few weeks at university, I was on my own and felt really isolated. I thought that I just HAD to find someone to make those weeks on my own more bearable. So there was someone in my course who just happened to play the guitar. After weeks of agonising over how I was going to woo her (I even thought of playing a song on the piano in one of the tutorial rooms lol) it eventually hit me; I didn't actually really like this girl at all. I only fancied her because I felt lonely and she just happened to be the most appealing girl in the class (out of about 5 or 6). I'm so glad I didn't go for it because I know I would have regretted it straight away. So make sure you've asked yourself if you really like this girl or it's just first weeks of college syndrome.
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  #42  
Old 11-19-2011, 12:56 AM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

do like this guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ii56mvSG7Iw

But seriously, If you're really scared man, just do it by text..

Its not the most glam way to do it but its worth a shot!!

Iv never asked a girl out, yet iv had 7 girlfriends,

I just "go with the flow" works well for me
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  #43  
Old 11-19-2011, 02:19 AM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

Maybe give her a guitar-pick with "Want to go out sometime?" written on it? Maybe some sheet-notes? Be creative!
I'm far too cynical and distrusting after some bad relationships, but being yourself, relaxing and having confidence will get you far. Even if you look like something a cat chewed on!
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  #44  
Old 11-19-2011, 04:11 AM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

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Lucky you. Seriously though, I know exactly how the OP feels having been in that exact same position myself this time last year. It was my first few weeks at university, I was on my own and felt really isolated. I thought that I just HAD to find someone to make those weeks on my own more bearable. So there was someone in my course who just happened to play the guitar. After weeks of agonising over how I was going to woo her (I even thought of playing a song on the piano in one of the tutorial rooms lol) it eventually hit me; I didn't actually really like this girl at all. I only fancied her because I felt lonely and she just happened to be the most appealing girl in the class (out of about 5 or 6). I'm so glad I didn't go for it because I know I would have regretted it straight away. So make sure you've asked yourself if you really like this girl or it's just first weeks of college syndrome.
Semester's almost over, but that's definitely not the case here. If I actually can ask her, I kinda see this as a win on all possible levels.

1. Possible girlfriend
2. Possible friend (this one's kinda already started)
3. In the course of 2 years, I went from barely having talked to girls to asking one out. I call that progress
4. If she says no, than I know what I did wrong and will know what to do differently next time.
5. If she says no and comes back next semester (a lot of people do), than I can always try again if she's not taken.

Thing is though, I never thought about trying to come up with some big plan to woo her. Just thought I'd do it the easy way, just start talking, strike up a friendship, go out somewhere casual and see where it goes from there. So far it seems to be working out, just gotta do step 3!
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  #45  
Old 11-19-2011, 04:12 AM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

Just do it.

Women like a man with confidence. The longer you hem and haw, the less of a chance of her saying yes.

Worse thing? She says no.

And if she does say no? Big deal, there are always more fish in the sea.

It only took me 28 years to realize this, but there is always another woman out there. Of course, as soon as I realized this, I met my wife, and I didn't this realization anymore LOL.
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  #46  
Old 11-19-2011, 04:54 AM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

Lots of good advice already. Nothing I can add to that. Well, I could ask why this is such a big deal. You already know there will be this awkward silent moment, and you've been told she could say no. All you have to do now is go through the program and see what happens. What are you still doing here?
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  #47  
Old 11-19-2011, 05:40 AM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

What's the difference between chatting with a male or female musician anyway? Gonads and hormones. Are you comfortable with the friends she's hanging out with? Who knows? You may find that some of her friends have friend potential for you too.

That way, you can hang with her circle. That will not only make it easier to have etet a tete chats (which is what the lunch is about) with the added bonus of seeing how she interacts with the others. It can't hurt knowing more about what you're getting yourself in for. Worst case scenario: you dodge a bullet.
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  #48  
Old 11-19-2011, 03:53 PM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

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Originally Posted by drummindan8484 View Post
Semester's almost over, but that's definitely not the case here. If I actually can ask her, I kinda see this as a win on all possible levels.

1. Possible girlfriend
2. Possible friend (this one's kinda already started)
3. In the course of 2 years, I went from barely having talked to girls to asking one out. I call that progress
4. If she says no, than I know what I did wrong and will know what to do differently next time.
5. If she says no and comes back next semester (a lot of people do), than I can always try again if she's not taken.

Thing is though, I never thought about trying to come up with some big plan to woo her. Just thought I'd do it the easy way, just start talking, strike up a friendship, go out somewhere casual and see where it goes from there. So far it seems to be working out, just gotta do step 3!
I can assure you that if you ask her out and she says no then you will never be able to be just friends. There is just always going to be that sticking point of the fact that she didn't want you that will drive a wedge between you. You can't just ask someone out just so that you can say you did. It shouldn't be about that. Also if she says no then it's just pointless trying to come back to it because she's not going to change her mind and you're just going to end up torturing yourself. Besides, my guess is that by next year you'll have probably moved on. Of course it's quite difficult to see that right now because you've got yourself in this state about this one girl.
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  #49  
Old 11-19-2011, 04:33 PM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

You may be right Eddie, I'm just trying to look at the situation in the most positive way possible because that's just what I always try to do. I'm not saying I'm going to ask her to say I did, I'm saying that if she says no, than I should at least be proud of myself for asking because of what I said in #3. As far as being just friends goes, I think what I meant basically was not necessarily about rejection, but more if she says yes and we go out and it doesn't go beyond the friendship level. Part of the reason I thought about that being my personality type (let's just say I'm not much of a flirt or anything). Anyway, where we are in a year is not my concern right now, just trying to take this one step at a time.
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  #50  
Old 11-19-2011, 05:17 PM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

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What's the difference between chatting with a male or female musician anyway? Gonads and hormones. Are you comfortable with the friends she's hanging out with? Who knows? You may find that some of her friends have friend potential for you too.

That way, you can hang with her circle. That will not only make it easier to have etet a tete chats (which is what the lunch is about) with the added bonus of seeing how she interacts with the others. It can't hurt knowing more about what you're getting yourself in for. Worst case scenario: you dodge a bullet.
Best reply for me so far, it makes so much sense...

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Originally Posted by drummindan8484 View Post
Thing is though, I never thought about trying to come up with some big plan to woo her. Just thought I'd do it the easy way, just start talking, strike up a friendship, go out somewhere casual and see where it goes from there. So far it seems to be working out...
Keep the friendship carrying on, so you'll know each other better, you'll find the right time to ask her out when the times come up... It will come naturally.
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  #51  
Old 11-19-2011, 06:24 PM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

Song title from the early sixties. "Got along without you before I met you, gonna get along without you now." A bit cynical but she is only one girl in a world full.
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  #52  
Old 11-19-2011, 07:28 PM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

Have you tried clubbing her in the head and then dragging her back to your cave? It always seems to work well for me...til the cops show up.

-Kyle
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  #53  
Old 11-19-2011, 07:34 PM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

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Have you tried clubbing her in the head and then dragging her back to your cave? It always seems to work well for me...til the cops show up.

-Kyle
You use a cave? Classy.
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  #54  
Old 11-19-2011, 11:10 PM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

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You use a cave? Classy.
lol but its a really nice cave Eddie!!!
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  #55  
Old 11-19-2011, 11:11 PM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

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Originally Posted by drummindan8484 View Post
Anyway, where we are in a year is not my concern right now, just trying to take this one step at a time.
Correct. But first you've actually gotta take that first step.

How about.......hey, can I buy you a coffee? Simple. Non-threatening. And gives you time to be alone to talk. If it's a good vibe you hit her up for drinks or dinner.

And fwiw, girls at 18 to 20 years of age certainly "date and see where it goes" In 60 years the world's population has grown from 2.5 billion people to almost 7 billion!! Birds all around the world are dating mate.....the proof is in the numbers

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Trust me on this one, you're better off leaving thoughts like that in your head. Let her go and ruin someone else's life. Sucks for a few years, oh yeah, but you get used to it and at least you'll still have your own house when you're 50 :)
“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.” ~ Rod Stewart


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I can assure you that if you ask her out and she says no then you will never be able to be just friends.
Sure you can. I'm still friends with girls to this day who have knocked me back in the past.
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  #56  
Old 11-19-2011, 11:19 PM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

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lol but its a really nice cave Eddie!!!
Is it were you keep your wine and beer too?
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  #57  
Old 11-19-2011, 11:21 PM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

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Is it were you keep your wine and beer too?
Yes. I also age my delicious sabertooth tiger steaks in there as well=)
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  #58  
Old 11-19-2011, 11:25 PM
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Yes. I also age my delicious sabertooth tiger steaks in there as well=)
Oh, I see... you take the girl there... and get her drunk!!! ...no wonder it's working for you :-))
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  #59  
Old 11-19-2011, 11:31 PM
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Oh, I see... you take the girl there... and get her drunk!!! ...no wonder it's working for you :-))
hahaha yep!! That's one technique. Though I would not suggest it to the OP lol
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  #60  
Old 11-20-2011, 12:04 AM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

Soooooooooo hows life, are the kids ok? The wife good, remember when you posted how nerves you were to ask her out????? hahahaha WOW it seems like yesterday!! Doc
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  #61  
Old 11-20-2011, 01:03 AM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

You must say to her:

"You are as sweet as the morning sun when the papayas are in bloom"

or

"You are a virgin forest, pregnant with a plentiful bounty"

and you must definitely not ask her:

"How are you doing?" because it's "obsolete"

- According to the old Filipino guy at my tennis club, that is the best way to get a girl to buy you a drink. Immediately following that, you must sing to her "Two for a Bed" which begins,

"If you are feeling pantie free
come into my bed with me
We can cover every style
and this will be our rendezvous"

And I only bought him one beer! Funny stuff.
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  #62  
Old 11-20-2011, 02:34 AM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

This is going to end up like a tie football game...no score.
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  #63  
Old 11-20-2011, 04:13 AM
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This is going to end up like a tie football game...no score.

The story of my life.
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  #64  
Old 11-20-2011, 01:31 PM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

I want to know what happens now! OP better get on and make a move soon!
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  #65  
Old 11-21-2011, 01:28 AM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

Who was that guy who came on here & told Thaard to get his own "girl" thread? Classic!!!!
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  #66  
Old 11-21-2011, 12:55 PM
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Who was that guy who came on here & told Thaard to get his own "girl" thread? Classic!!!!
Haha, what? Who was it?
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  #67  
Old 11-21-2011, 01:04 PM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

If we talk about the most ethical course of action, I'd say it would be for the OP to line up a suitable sub (someone said this earlier) so Girl A isn't left high and dry. Once a good sub has been found he would explain to Girl B what he wants to do and he's going to try to get off the hook gracefully and he'll let her know ASAP.

If he gets a win from Girl B (who will also be hoping not to be left high and dry), then explain the situation to Girl A, saying that you didn't expect the chance to go with Girl B.

But with no sub then the ethical thing is to do what John Travolta did in Pulp Fiction) - keep the seat warm for another man's girl.

The other ethical thing to do is ...

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OP better get on and make a move soon!
If the OP doesn't return with a report I think we should ask DB to bring out the Ban Hammer :)
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Last edited by Pollyanna; 11-21-2011 at 01:16 PM.
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  #68  
Old 11-21-2011, 07:35 PM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

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If we talk about the most ethical course of action, I'd say it would be for the OP to line up a suitable sub (someone said this earlier) so Girl A isn't left high and dry. Once a good sub has been found he would explain to Girl B what he wants to do and he's going to try to get off the hook gracefully and he'll let her know ASAP.

If he gets a win from Girl B (who will also be hoping not to be left high and dry), then explain the situation to Girl A, saying that you didn't expect the chance to go with Girl B.

But with no sub then the ethical thing is to do what John Travolta did in Pulp Fiction) - keep the seat warm for another man's girl.

The other ethical thing to do is ...



If the OP doesn't return with a report I think we should ask DB to bring out the Ban Hammer :)
Wrong thread :p
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Old 11-21-2011, 08:03 PM
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Wrong thread :p
Oops - flubbed. I thought the post was deleted :)
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Old 11-22-2011, 05:29 AM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

You wanted a report, you got one!

First off, I decided to change the location of the "date" since I found out this morning from a post on her Facebook wall from her sister that she's a vegetarian, and depending on how extreme her views are on that, I didn't want that to be an issue at first. So I remembered seeing a window sticker on her car for a coffee shop and thought I'd do that instead.

The good news:
I asked, and didn't have to pull her aside or do anything awkward! to get her alone! I had to bring a small portion of my kit to class tonight, so after class was done I went out to bring my car around to the campus loading area and waited a minute for her to come out before doing so. I asked her by her car just before she left.

The bad news:
She thought about it for a second and said she'd get back to me, which I'm going to assume for now is a no.

Well at least I did it, and I could be wrong about the 2nd one. It's possible that I just asked at a bad time, or she had something else on her mind or whatnot. Maybe she'll actually get back to me on that one next week! In the mean time, I'll just relax about it and not think so much about the future. I have nothing against her honestly, so I'll just keep talking to her when the opportunities arise and maybe try to further our friendship. If that doesn't happen, there are other girls out there, and at least I know I can do it!
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  #71  
Old 11-22-2011, 04:07 PM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

Man, don't be a pessimist. She wants to be pursued, obviously. "I'll think about" means "yes, but I want you to ask me again because I'm not easy". She just wants to know if you're really into her. Next time, use the McDonalds burger line! Ha!
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  #72  
Old 11-22-2011, 06:10 PM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

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You wanted a report, you got one!

First off, I decided to change the location of the "date" since I found out this morning from a post on her Facebook wall from her sister that she's a vegetarian, and depending on how extreme her views are on that, I didn't want that to be an issue at first. So I remembered seeing a window sticker on her car for a coffee shop and thought I'd do that instead.

The good news:
I asked, and didn't have to pull her aside or do anything awkward! to get her alone! I had to bring a small portion of my kit to class tonight, so after class was done I went out to bring my car around to the campus loading area and waited a minute for her to come out before doing so. I asked her by her car just before she left.

The bad news:
She thought about it for a second and said she'd get back to me, which I'm going to assume for now is a no.

Well at least I did it, and I could be wrong about the 2nd one. It's possible that I just asked at a bad time, or she had something else on her mind or whatnot. Maybe she'll actually get back to me on that one next week! In the mean time, I'll just relax about it and not think so much about the future. I have nothing against her honestly, so I'll just keep talking to her when the opportunities arise and maybe try to further our friendship. If that doesn't happen, there are other girls out there, and at least I know I can do it!
Well done, man, congrats! You did it! Making the first move is the hardest part.
Now take it easy, be cool, don't push it, don't rush and don't panic. It'll be alright.

Look, I met my current girlfriend at a rock show I went. She was a friend of a friend of a friend, lol. I did everything possible to be around her, I made friends with her friends, got her facebook, msn, got invited to the places she was.. etc.

It took me 6 and a half months to finally be with her. 6 and a half months, man!!! For the first two months, the girl didn't even remember my name.. so go figure.. It takes time!! Just be cool and enjoy the ride. When you look back, you'll see that this "flirting" part of the relationship is probably the greatest. ;)

Good luck, man.
Cheers.
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  #73  
Old 11-22-2011, 06:29 PM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

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Well at least I did it...
Good for you man!

Now, never show this thread to her...
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  #74  
Old 11-22-2011, 06:34 PM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

The Female Human has offered the "chase" the Male Human isn't sure but he thinks he may go for it! Theres always the distant chance that he will be the loser here and be devoured alive in Whooly Bully Marriage uno dos a 1, 2, tre, esquarto.............DEAD! Doc












.....this a fictional view of marriage from someone whos been married for 31 years and I'm so happy I forgot what it is.........................








.................................................. .................................................. ....help!
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  #75  
Old 11-23-2011, 05:34 AM
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

Update #2:

I decided to act on a tip of advice from someone earlier who asked about friends in common, so I decided to talk to my teacher who plays in the Zep cover band with her about her. He had a whole slot free after my lesson, so we ended up just talking about this that entire time. I just felt like it would be a really good thing to do since he knows her far better than I do, and I was still unsure about her answer.

So anyway, he said while the 2 of them are great friends in spite of the age difference (she's 18, he's 35), one thing he has never been able to figure out about her is her attitude towards dating. She's cute, she's single, he sees guys hit on her, but she has this one specific type of guy she's looking for and that guy isn't me. Combine these with some personal things that I don't really feel like posting even vague details about online in case she were to ever see this, it sounds like a relationship is not in her near future. So coming from her, it means no.

On the positive side, he said that she had told him that we talked before and that she's never had anything bad to say about me (he said he'd know if she didn't like me), and that if I ever just wanna hang out with her, he's sure she'd be interested. He even invited me to hang with them sometime. So I definitely am in the process of making a friend here at least.And I know that some people may have difficulty being friends with a girl that they were rejected by, but I think in this case it's different since I know the way she is with dating and that really it's not me why this didn't go the way I hoped it would, it's her.

Last edited by drummindan8484; 11-23-2011 at 11:43 PM.
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  #76  
Old 11-23-2011, 04:10 PM
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diegobxr diegobxr is offline
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

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Originally Posted by drummindan8484 View Post
so I decided to talk to my teacher who plays in the Zep cover band with her about her. He had a whole slot free after my lesson, so we ended up just talking about this that entire time.
Great. Well done. ;)

Quote:
He even invited me to hang with them sometime.
Yes. You definitely accept that invitation.

Quote:
some people may have difficulty being friends with a girl that they were rejected by, but I think in this case it's different since I know the way she is with dating and that really it's not me why this didn't go the way I hoped it would, it's her.
No. Yo definitely don't do this.
You're acting like you already failed. That is not the case. Nothing happened yet. Don't ever say you "were rejected" until you really are (that is: she says to you: "no, thanks, I don't like you"). 'Til then, don't give up.

Like Stifler said:

"You don't score, until you score"

Cheer up, man.
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Old 11-23-2011, 05:28 PM
drummindan8484 drummindan8484 is offline
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

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Originally Posted by diegobxr View Post
Great. Well done. ;)



Yes. You definitely accept that invitation.



No. Yo definitely don't do this.
You're acting like you already failed. That is not the case. Nothing happened yet. Don't ever say you "were rejected" until you really are (that is: she says to you: "no, thanks, I don't like you"). 'Til then, don't give up.

Like Stifler said:

"You don't score, until you score"

Cheer up, man.
Thanks for the encouragement man, but really, knowing the way she is, it really is better for me to just stop pursuing her as a girlfriend and just be her friend. If you were me in this situation and had it been you having the same talk we did, you would feel the same way. I don't think any of you will fully understand that unless I were to sit down and type out everything that was said, which I won't do. Granted, she's only 18 and may change as she gets older, but it won't happen anytime soon I have a feeling and I'm perfectly OK with that. Still feeling disappointed that it didn't work out the way I had hoped, but that's it.
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Old 11-23-2011, 05:52 PM
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larryace larryace is online now
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

Somehow spread a rumor about the excess size of your man parts. This will create a buzz among the others too. All of a sudden, you're desirable. Then you ask her out. Can't lose.
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Old 11-23-2011, 11:42 PM
drummindan8484 drummindan8484 is offline
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

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Somehow spread a rumor about the excess size of your man parts. This will create a buzz among the others too. All of a sudden, you're desirable. Then you ask her out. Can't lose.
Knowing the way she is, she wouldn't be impressed. Thanks for the encouragement guys, but really, this isn't gonna happen on that level. She's a friend and nothing else, and really it's better left that way. He used the word "enigma" to describe her, and I couldn't think of a better word to use honestly. There's really no way I can explain the way she is without disclosing way too much personal information on a web forum. No matter what ways I could possibly use in an attempt to woo her, it's not gonna happen.
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Old 11-24-2011, 06:54 AM
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DSCRAPRE DSCRAPRE is offline
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Default Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college

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Originally Posted by drummindan8484 View Post
No matter what ways I could possibly use in an attempt to woo her, it's not gonna happen.
Then do the only sane thing there is to do. Murder-suicide. :D











That was a joke by the way.

Last edited by DSCRAPRE; 11-24-2011 at 06:55 AM. Reason: I'm serious brah, that was a joke.
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