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  #1  
Old 10-11-2011, 10:01 PM
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inneedofgrace inneedofgrace is offline
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Default How personal are the stories you share on this forum?

There are a lot of stories and situations shared on this site. In many cases, posters are seeking advice on how to handle certain situations, or to find out if anyone else has the same issues or problems. Often the people in these situations are not portrayed in a good light, because they have been the source of or contributed to the problems.

The reason I ask the question is because I wonder if any of the people I discuss in my posts peruse this site and can figure out that situations involving them are being shared in public. I know we don't typically use names in our posts, but that doesn't mean people couldn't figure out who is being talked about by the power of deduction. If that were by chance to happen, it could be a really bad situation that could involve hurt feelings or even breakups of bands or friendships.

Do you have similar concerns that someone you write about here could figure out it was you that posted it, and read what you've written about them?
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  #2  
Old 10-11-2011, 10:07 PM
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GRUNTERSDAD GRUNTERSDAD is online now
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Default Re: How personal are the stories you share on this forum?

No problem here. I usually speak my mind. If I have something to say to an individual that is privy to their ears I will PM them. Anything said about me is water off of a ducks back. I have had some private issues discussed in private as they should.
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  #3  
Old 10-11-2011, 10:09 PM
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Default Re: How personal are the stories you share on this forum?

I've started to compose some posts before but thought better of it for just that reason. But I can usually still find ways to get my idea or story across if I simply assume that who I'm writing about will be reading it. Amazing what that can do to help find the right tone.
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Old 10-11-2011, 10:16 PM
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Naigewron Naigewron is offline
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Default Re: How personal are the stories you share on this forum?

Well this one time, at band camp...
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  #5  
Old 10-11-2011, 10:22 PM
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Default Re: How personal are the stories you share on this forum?

If anyone I've referred to got wind of it, I never knew about it. Not that I feel good about that necessarily, but this place is therapy so it's fair. The names were changed to protect the innocent.

I feel a lot of people here get very personal. I do, because no one understands like you guys, straight up. I'm not gonna bare my soul about drumming to someone who couldn't care less.
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  #6  
Old 10-11-2011, 11:14 PM
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caddywumpus caddywumpus is offline
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Default Re: How personal are the stories you share on this forum?

Some stories and advice from situations I've shared have been very personal. However, I've been able to remain anonymous the entire time I've been on this and 2 other drum forums over the past few years (never used my name, never showed any of my playing, never revealed which bands I'm in or which recordings I've been on, etc...). It's my own built-in security/privacy measure. Because of that, I feel free to be open, keep it real, share points of view earnestly, be adamant about certain topics (double strokes anyone?), and get personal when necessary, with no possible real-world consequences...
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  #7  
Old 10-11-2011, 11:25 PM
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bobdadruma bobdadruma is online now
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Default Re: How personal are the stories you share on this forum?

Don't worry the US Department Of Homeland Security reads every post and they know who you are.
Sleep Tight tonight my friends!
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  #8  
Old 10-12-2011, 01:11 AM
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Ian Williams Ian Williams is offline
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Default Re: How personal are the stories you share on this forum?

Very personal - related to sex, drugs and rock n' roll...also about smoking, cooking, drag queens and so on...
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  #9  
Old 10-12-2011, 06:18 AM
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Default Re: How personal are the stories you share on this forum?

My father always said "If you don't have anything nice to say about someone, don't say anything at all." My mother always said "If you don't have anything nice to say about someone, come sit by me."
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  #10  
Old 10-12-2011, 07:43 AM
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Default Re: How personal are the stories you share on this forum?

Well for me i really don't know anyone here all that well to get personal. Not because i haven't tried or don't want to it's just i hardly have time to visit here because my job keeps me on the road alot ( hence my low post count being a member here for over two years) but i do try to get in coversations when i can. Personally i've never had any problems here with anybody. Everybody i've come in contact with have seemed very nice and helpful. If i were to have a problem with somebody here i would most definately do it in private.

On a side note..i've been up for almost a day a half traveling on my job so i'm kinda not thinking straight right now. lol If i misunderstood the question i apoligze.
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  #11  
Old 10-12-2011, 10:02 AM
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Default Re: How personal are the stories you share on this forum?

Guys, when I am not being a rhythm freak I am in fact an Internet consultant. Now the Internet is a great idea but unfortunately it is an ideal tool for those who want to wreak havoc without having to face the consequences of their actions.

There have in fact been some court actions recently to deal with people who have libelled others over the Internet. I'm not talking about a bit of idle malice here, I'm talking about a campaign to harass and damage another person via the Internet.

It's easy to damage a professional reputation with just a few well-chosen emails. It is often easy to trace the sender of messages by assorted means and so track the statement to the person and use that to blackmail them. There are some seriously nasty people out there and there are some quite vulnerable people in here.

Be careful.
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  #12  
Old 10-12-2011, 11:22 AM
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Swiss Matthias Swiss Matthias is offline
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Default Re: How personal are the stories you share on this forum?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeM View Post
But I can usually still find ways to get my idea or story across if I simply assume that who I'm writing about will be reading it. Amazing what that can do to help find the right tone.
Good thought!
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  #13  
Old 10-12-2011, 11:54 AM
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Pollyanna Pollyanna is offline
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Default Re: How personal are the stories you share on this forum?

Can't say I care all that much these days. I just say what comes to mind and some of it's been personal. The chance of a non drummer friend reading our ramblings here is pretty remote. I can't imagine any musos I've played with coming to this site, let alone bothering to read it. We're drum nerds.

Whatever, I don't usually bag people out - we all have our reasons for doing what we do ... some pretty crap ones at times hehe but we're just human.

The main risk on the net is ID theft. I also try not to post my worst playing to preserve my imaginary musical rep :)
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  #14  
Old 10-12-2011, 12:32 PM
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Default Re: How personal are the stories you share on this forum?

I know that my band members occasionally scan this forum, & I have no problem with that, as I'm lucky enough to have great bandmates (that's worth a few points ;) ) As for identity theft, yes, a concern, but not one that consumes me. I've had enough crap happen in my life so as to relegate such concerns into minutiae. I have little playing reputation to destroy, so I'm free to post my "less than ideal" playing examples for the amusement of others.

There are, however, elements that I'm precious about;
The feelings of others. Conducting myself with due respect to the consequences of my actions. Remembering that there's real people behind the username. Representing brands that I'm associated with in the right context, yet always being happy to advise members on the best choices for their particular circumstances. Being realistic about my abilities (or lack thereof), & never advising beyond my real life expertise. Being hugely grateful that there's a number of members here whom I regard as more than anonymous sounding boards.
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  #15  
Old 10-12-2011, 02:33 PM
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Default Re: How personal are the stories you share on this forum?

Reading the OP again, I thought he meant relating personal stories from outside of DW - bandmates and other associates.

If we're talking about within DW, the same courtesies should apply, but the nature of the online world is a little different because of the anonymity people feel with their sense of remoteness - much like drivers on the road who will cut you off because they feel isolated from the rest of humanity while locked up in their cars. For some, normal social inhibitions sorta go away.

My sensitivity toward the feelings of others (in traffic, online, or in the real world) diminishes when it becomes clear someone's MO is running roughshod over the courtesy and sensitivity of others without a thought or care. I could be a little more magnanimous on this, and I often do give it more thought after a round of push-back, but at the risk of sounding like a hawk, I'm not entirely convinced that turning the other cheek is always the best course of action because it takes that timely feedback out of the loop.

Last edited by MikeM; 10-12-2011 at 03:03 PM.
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  #16  
Old 11-16-2011, 08:05 PM
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inneedofgrace inneedofgrace is offline
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Default Re: How personal are the stories you share on this forum?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeM View Post
Reading the OP again, I thought he meant relating personal stories from outside of DW - bandmates and other associates.

If we're talking about within DW, the same courtesies should apply, but the nature of the online world is a little different because of the anonymity people feel with their sense of remoteness - much like drivers on the road who will cut you off because they feel isolated from the rest of humanity while locked up in their cars. For some, normal social inhibitions sorta go away.

My sensitivity toward the feelings of others (in traffic, online, or in the real world) diminishes when it becomes clear someone's MO is running roughshod over the courtesy and sensitivity of others without a thought or care. I could be a little more magnanimous on this, and I often do give it more thought after a round of push-back, but at the risk of sounding like a hawk, I'm not entirely convinced that turning the other cheek is always the best course of action because it takes that timely feedback out of the loop.
Yes, I meant sharing personal stories that involve people outside of this forum, who may somehow read or get wind of something you posted.
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