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  #1  
Old 08-12-2007, 05:38 PM
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Default New kit...parents say no.

Damn.
Isn`t such a long story...but yeah, it is as simple as that: My parents won`t allow me to sell my Tama and get a new smaller sized kit.

Here is the thread about the selling-buying story btw: http://www.drummerworld.com/forums/s...ad.php?t=29450

Today while having breakfast they laughed about letting a kit build and then just said that they won`t allow me all that.
They are just horrible when it comes to selling gear and buying something you like. Their arguments are:

Selling a kit for 1000€ and then getting one for 800€ is bad because you lose money. If you wanna sell it again you will have to sell it for even less...

I would have this kit in my practice and recording room 90% of the time, another reason for not doing it.


Firstly: I take what I can take and what I really enjoy. And who talks about selling??? Strange, they didn`t plan selling when I bought my Superstar Custom, they didn`t calculate anything.

Secondly: Maybe yes, maybe not...if I had some jazzier gigs here. Such a small set-up doesn`t go well on modern Rock gigs or so. For all the gigs I play I use my Basix 5-piece because they work better in those settings.

Jazz is nearly dead here!!!

Overall I can`t stand the attitude of my parents when it comes to selling gear and buying gear...or trading it.
For example the parents of the guitarist in my band tell her to do what she wanna do with her gear....it`s her decision.

What do you think?
Have you experienced similar situations?

Karl
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Old 08-12-2007, 05:57 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

i'm in a similar situation karl, not as extreme and my parents are a little more open. i want to buy a custom unix kit but my parents said i'd have to sell my first kit which i would never do. seeing how the kit is $2800 for an all bubinga kit its basically a steal and i told them that and so did my teacher so now they are "thinking about" letting me get it, by that i mean i have to work lots of overtime to afford it but its well worth it
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Old 08-12-2007, 06:05 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

Are they insured Karl?? An unfortunate accident could be arranged, sorry could just happen.....on a serious note; I read what you put about your Mum, that shes supportive but doesnt really understand your passion or abilities. Perhaps thats the problem; ppl like us approach art as artists, ppl who dont have our passions see the 'art' as a mere hobby, hence the preoccupation with losing/gaining money.
We would sell our last possession to buy our dream snare/cymbal etc and consider it fair trade; you just gotta keep on trying to educate your folks Karl OR be patient until the decision is yours alone!!
All the best my friend, jc
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Old 08-12-2007, 06:06 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

I'm sorry to hear that Karl. I got that attitude from my parents when I was living at home and I get it from my wife now! *lol* I would explain it to them this way: You were going to be trading the Superstar for the Sonor and handing over $200 right? That is a good deal. If you were to save up for the Sonor and hand over $1000, and then say only be able to sell the Superstars (because you don't need them) for $700, yes you're making $300 at the moment, but you're still losing money. The way I look at it is, I'm either going to lose money now, or save up money, buy the kit I want, sell the old kit, and just lose money later because I'm still not going to get what I want for it.
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Old 08-12-2007, 06:20 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

Karl, I can understand why you're irritated by the attitude of your parents toward your plans.

But, what you should bear in mind that your Superstar is a lovely kit and it sounds great. It's about the player and not the equipment, and you really are an excellent player my friend. Eventually you'll have the kit you want, but it may mean waiting. Patience is a virtue and it's just going to be a waiting game. You'll get what you want eventually.

Don't be too disappointed. The tone you develop when you play is excellent. Your gear is perfectly good for you now; and athough your mother doesn't always see eye-to-eye with you, she does have your best interests at heart and you just have to accept her opinion for now.
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Old 08-12-2007, 06:32 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

Rob, you`re right. The same way I see it...but well, my parents won`t allow me either way. they think I would keep my Tama my whole life. And I say, no...definitly NOT.

And they say: Okay, when you`re 18 you can do it...then we can`t avoid it. But that is not logical. I have to keep it 1 1/2 years...then I`d get a new one anyway.

I mean, why not say yes now and everybody would just be happy again. They always tell me that I have no cent and that I don`t wanna earn money...I can`t say that I`m rich but through teaching I`ve earned $165 the last half year before holiday...now I wanna sell all my old toys and will probably get about $200 for them.
Also I plan to teach again, privatly...I`d earn about $220 through privat teaching.

So they can`t tell me that I do nothing for future, driver license or for a kit.

Bad thing is just that they`re not open for all those thoughts.
And in general they`re always doing something for money. I hate the fact that they walk around with € signs in their eyes.
Horrible.
My "father" (not my real one, my real father understands me) who lives with my mother makes music, too...and he does it for the money. Have never seen him on stage having fun.

And this shall be my idol? NO, THANKS.

Another point is about the argument "I would have this kit in my practice and recording room 90% of the time, another reason for not doing it.":

My father plays keyboard and trumpet, plays maybe 3 keyboard gigs in a year....and wanna buy the new Yamaha MOTIF XS7, the BIG model for $3600.

Annoying.

thanks alot for your replies my friends....thanks for listening to me.

Karl
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Old 08-12-2007, 06:44 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

fortunately my parents (especially father) were always very supportive for my passion, so i hadn't had such problems. one thing i can tell you is that you know... when you're still dependant on their money, try to explain them your point of view peacefully and rationally. i don't know your parents, but if i have one philosophy that i use in my life is that you can achieve anything by rational discussion (at least in most situations ;)). besides, it's their money, so you can't totally disregard their point of view.

as for me, you're right here, cause you're the drummer :), so just show them you really care (i bet you did already, but maybe you gotta try harder) and let us all know what came up!

oh, and you know... i'm a bit of a hypocrite here, so don't think i don't fight with my parents from time to time :P. but it's never about my passion.

GOOD LUCK YOU JAZZ DRUMMER YOU! ;)
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Old 08-12-2007, 06:48 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mediocrefunkybeat View Post
Karl, I can understand why you're irritated by the attitude of your parents toward your plans.

But, what you should bear in mind that your Superstar is a lovely kit and it sounds great. It's about the player and not the equipment, and you really are an excellent player my friend. Eventually you'll have the kit you want, but it may mean waiting. Patience is a virtue and it's just going to be a waiting game. You'll get what you want eventually.

Don't be too disappointed. The tone you develop when you play is excellent. Your gear is perfectly good for you now; and athough your mother doesn't always see eye-to-eye with you, she does have your best interests at heart and you just have to accept her opinion for now.
Yes, you made up some good points, definitly.
I think that patience is important....they Superstar is some great gear, no doubt.
And yeah, the player is most important...of course!

But every day I play it, every day I get to know new sounds, every day I try new kits, smaller kits I wanna sell my Tama for a smaller one. And for example letting it build is possible for the price.
The thing is that they just don`t allow it. They don`t allow to order something which really pleases me and inspires me.

Same thing with my hats: Wanted to sell my HHX Evolution hats, I wanted something lighter. They said no...but they were more open so they decided to allow that deal. For they money I bought the Turk hats btw.
In theory I did some money loss if you compare the prices but I just love my Turk, 1000 times more than the HHX.

Same case with the kit now.

PS: At least one good thing: I`m trade my HHX Evolution splash for a Dream 20" Bliss III Ride, about next month. My parents tried to avoid that, in the end they said: "Do with it what you want...you`ll see how all that ends."

Karl
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Old 08-12-2007, 06:55 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

Hi,


Maybe you can save up, get a job, and buy the Custom set pieces 1 by 1 ?
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Old 08-12-2007, 07:52 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

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Originally Posted by Tuxido View Post
Hi,


Maybe you can save up, get a job, and buy the Custom set pieces 1 by 1 ?
Mhh, no selling my Tama would be the only option. I have to save up money for driver license...and for future. Maybe later I can do this.

Karl
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Old 08-12-2007, 08:52 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

Karl, you have a genuine and wonderful talent, we all respect your playing and your kindness when you pass comments on others playing; I know you're frustrated about all this but honestly my friend, have patience. You will be surprised how quickly time passes and you become your own man, and then, God willing, you're in a position where no-one can tell you what to do, or when [until you get married!!]
You'll be fine bro, we all understand what you're fighting, just sometimes a compromise is as good as a victory. Don't let this cloud your playing, or your vision of your future. All the very best, jc
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Old 08-12-2007, 08:54 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

Terrible to hear that man. Hopefully your parents will realise that you know what you are doing and that it would be a good idea to sell the Tama and buy the new kit. Just keep at it and hopefully everything will work out for the best.

Mike
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Old 08-12-2007, 09:00 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

It's easy for me to say at my age, but.... patience, my friend, patience. The time will come when you will be able to make any decision that you wish and do anything that you want, and you are only a few years away from that time. You are a very talented drummer and I sincerely hope that you continue to make drumming the priority in your life. I look forward to your career as a drummer and I want to be able to say that I knew you way back when you were just a kid. By the way, I want back stage passes to all of your North American shows.
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Old 08-12-2007, 09:15 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

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Originally Posted by DogBreath View Post
It's easy for me to say at my age, but.... patience, my friend, patience. The time will come when you will be able to make any decision that you wish and do anything that you want, and you are only a few years away from that time. You are a very talented drummer and I sincerely hope that you continue to make drumming the priority in your life. I look forward to your career as a drummer and I want to be able to say that I knew you way back when you were just a kid. By the way, I want back stage passes to all of your North American shows.
I'm sorry DogBreath but I'm gonna have to ban you from this forum.....Gawd I always wanted to say that!!
But seriously Karl; listen to us older guys, don't think of us as 'parental influences', just as older [but not wiser] friends! We still struggle to have exactly what we want; I have arthiritis bad in my right hand and wrist, so I have to know that I ain't ever gonna be Buddy! But bide your time bro, you'll be fine, and we're all rooting for ya!!
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Old 08-13-2007, 02:29 AM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

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Originally Posted by Drummer Karl View Post
Mhh, no selling my Tama would be the only option. I have to save up money for driver license...and for future. Maybe later I can do this.

Karl
Getting your driving licence should take priority over new gear. I don't know how I would survive if I couldn't drive.
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Old 08-13-2007, 02:41 AM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

Hey Karl,

Dude, my parents were very aprehensive allowing me space for my stagestar.. but i think if they really wanted me to sell my kit theyd let me.. although theyd tell me if i screw up its my fault.. i was really excited to hear about your custom kit karl, maybe you can convince them that whatever happens it would be your fault.. its your money not theirs and that you can do whatever you want.. your an independet person



hope this helps,

Dom
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Old 08-13-2007, 03:17 AM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

Unfortunately Karl, we cant live on love and HAVE to consider the money side of it when making purchases. How cheap can we get it, how much can we make if we re-sell, etc. Your parents have had to become wise to that when they became parents!

Quote:
And who talks about selling???
Interestingly I hear the same argument from young people when they buy their first kit "Cmon Dad, buy me this kit, I swear Ill play it forever."

I dont want to sound like the voice of doom and gloom here, but youre about to eneter an age bracket in your life where everything is going to change for you. Your parents are probably wise to that and are trying to hold off.

The only real solution I see for you is to save for what you want on your own accord and remove the parents from the picture altogether.
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Old 08-13-2007, 03:20 AM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

I was told by a health teacher in college that parents love to say "when I was your age", and I won't stick you with that because I am not a 16 year old living in 2007. I am a 59 year old living in 2007, but when I was 16 I would have given anything to have either one of your drum kits. It just wasn't an option with 3 sisters etc etc etc. Jon and DB have it right when they say be patient. Your day will come, and sooner than you think. Continue to practice, continue to be the great guy that you are and consider this to be a speed bump on your highway to success. BEST of luck always.
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Old 08-13-2007, 12:55 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

Firstly: Thanks so much for your words, whether kind or rather "teaching"...it really touches me! Great to hear all your opinions and suggestions.

Thanks ALOT for that...


Quote:
Originally Posted by Jon Cable View Post
Karl, you have a genuine and wonderful talent, we all respect your playing and your kindness when you pass comments on others playing; I know you're frustrated about all this but honestly my friend, have patience. You will be surprised how quickly time passes and you become your own man, and then, God willing, you're in a position where no-one can tell you what to do, or when [until you get married!!]
You'll be fine bro, we all understand what you're fighting, just sometimes a compromise is as good as a victory. Don't let this cloud your playing, or your vision of your future. All the very best, jc
Quote:
Originally Posted by DogBreath View Post
It's easy for me to say at my age, but.... patience, my friend, patience. The time will come when you will be able to make any decision that you wish and do anything that you want, and you are only a few years away from that time. You are a very talented drummer and I sincerely hope that you continue to make drumming the priority in your life. I look forward to your career as a drummer and I want to be able to say that I knew you way back when you were just a kid. By the way, I want back stage passes to all of your North American shows.
Jon, Thomas: Yeah, patience is the thing I have to get. You know, drumming will be always so important in life...haha, sometimes I even worry whether a woman could live with me without getting crazy about my passion.
Now, if they also don`t allow maybe something like trading I think I can just wait...and wait...till I`ll definitly do it, till I am "free".

Oh and Thomas: If I`m not able to go so far with drumming and do shows in USA...(I guess that) I`ll visit you anyway. And yeah, many others from the forum.
But I think I`ll start in Las Vegas...haha, this city always reminds me of you, Fat Elvis and the TV-show CSI.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mediocrefunkybeat View Post
Getting your driving licence should take priority over new gear. I don't know how I would survive if I couldn't drive.
Yep, that`s the reason I first wanna save up money for my license. That was also the reason why I don`t (didn`t) wanna spend extra-money on the kit.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DamoSyzygy View Post
Interestingly I hear the same argument from young people when they buy their first kit "Cmon Dad, buy me this kit, I swear Ill play it forever."
Really, I rarely think about selling when buying gear. In that moment I just enjoy and take what I can afford and which sounds best to me. Though that doesn`t mean that I play it forever...
But I guess when getting older this changes...who knows.


Overall I have to say that not getting a kit or getting a kit won`t change anything. I love the moment of making music and being creative...doesn`t matter if it`s on the most expencive kit or on some cooking pots. In the end it is about drumming and making melodies and rhythms...a new kit would just inspire and would be pleasing...but it`s never most important or so.

Thanks guys,
I`ll see what time brings.

Karl
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Old 08-13-2007, 05:05 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

not saying you would screw up karl.. hahah that might of sounded very harsh
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Old 08-13-2007, 08:43 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

Karl,
I feel your pain. Living with parents can be hard just like raising kids can be hard. Sometimes you have to make compromises for everyone's happiness just like they have for you.

My parents wouldn't let me have a kit till I turned 18 (and was about to move out shortly) because of the noise factor; now looking back at that time - I doubt I was constructive enough to have done much even if I had owned a kit prior to then. I never really gave my parents too much credit especially during the latter 20% of my living with them, but now that I live away from them I've learnt to really respect things they did for me and values they instilled in me.

I consider you a really mature person and when you really think about this, you'll realize that this isn't that big a deal to get frustrated over. Eventually, I'm sure you'll find a way to balance all this out (your license, new kit, parents) and everyone will be happy.

It's your personality that makes you the most loved person on the forum and we're here to help in any way we can.

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Old 08-13-2007, 10:04 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

Well Karl....

We are both the same age, I just checked your profile, lol.

And look at our situations -

You - have incredible talent behind the kit, and for now, can do perfectly well with the Tama.

Me - I like to think Im a competent player, but I also feel the need to get that next bit of gear, constantly.

For the first time ever, Im old enough to get a job (in the uk anyway..) and Its nothing like I thought it would be.

I thought I would be able to buy anything I want, but in relity, I have to wait and save up like anyone else - In fact I have to save up for a educational trip into Greece - so everything I was going to buy is on hold.

I can make do with my old tired cymbals for now, so Im sure that you and yout talent can make do at least untill you have saved up a bit more.

I hope you find some wisdom here....
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Old 08-13-2007, 10:47 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

I wouldn't sweat it too much man. I'm surprised though they think you would lose money by selling a kit for 1000 then buying another for 800, but maybe there is more to it than that. You have a couple of great kits right now, especially for your age. At 16 I lucked out when I bought my first kit, my Radio King, for $5 because the guy wanted to get it out of his attic. Of course, I didn't have any toms at first (the one that came with it had no mount). I cracked the crash pretty quickly, so only used hats for a long time. The kick pedal and snare stand fell apart a lot, and I had to fabricate half of the hat stand myself. I remember buying my first crash at 18. Someone had given me a ride prior to that, that I kind of used as a crash as well.

When I bought my Superstar kit this year, that was the first time I ever bought a new kit after having been a drummer for twelve years. Of course now the gear bug has bit me, but I can't go buck wild since I have a couple kiddos. heheheh I'm also considering selling my Superstar and my Rolands to instead build my own four to six piece, with large size shells (24, 12, 14, 18, 20, 14). I think it would suit the music we play better. I bought the Superstar because I thought the sizes would allow more versatile playing, but the more I think about it the more I realize maybe I should have gone with my first gut feeling of wanting larger drums when shopping around months ago. Of course, those kits were out of my price range at the time.
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Old 08-14-2007, 01:39 AM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

Hey! Thanks for all your kind words and stories.

I more and more seem like the petty high-society guy with even higher standards...but I really don`t wanna seem like this.

I feel/felt just pretty sad that I bought my kit with my money which I saved over years but now I`m not allowed to sell it for one which pleases me more...but I guess and I`m sure that they want just the best for me...

But yeah, I`ll wait and see...for now I`m happy with my Tama...it`s a great kit, no doubt!

Thanks alot for your support, really touches me.

Karl
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Old 08-14-2007, 03:21 AM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Drummer Karl View Post
Hey! Thanks for all your kind words and stories.

I more and more seem like the petty high-society guy with even higher standards...but I really don`t wanna seem like this.

I feel/felt just pretty sad that I bought my kit with my money which I saved over years but now I`m not allowed to sell it for one which pleases me more...but I guess and I`m sure that they want just the best for me...

But yeah, I`ll wait and see...for now I`m happy with my Tama...it`s a great kit, no doubt!

Thanks alot for your support, really touches me.

Karl
Tell it to your parents straight I paid for it and I want to sell it, its MY choice, if they dont listen, do it anyways, i doubt they will stop the fed ex truck halfway through the country. i dont know if anyone already said something like this, but im to tired to read the whole thread, just the posts made by you.

As far as i remember, you wanted a Sonor, but heres where my opinion comes in:

since your not a super rich rockstar, who can buy any kit they desire, your kits mean a lot to you, they are the instruments that have propelled your drumming career. Especially your first kit. What I'm trying to say is that each kit you own should be very hard to get rid of, try to save up enough money for the Sonor and keep your Tama, they both will have things that the other wont.

Personally, I will never sell a drumkit, try to keep it. especially if you have to face your parents answer, when you have a child, a pretty Tama kit like yours would make one FINE birthday present
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Old 08-14-2007, 11:04 AM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

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Originally Posted by ironcobra View Post
Tell it to your parents straight I paid for it and I want to sell it, its MY choice, if they dont listen, do it anyways, i doubt they will stop the fed ex truck halfway through the country. i dont know if anyone already said something like this, but im to tired to read the whole thread, just the posts made by you.

As far as i remember, you wanted a Sonor, but heres where my opinion comes in:

since your not a super rich rockstar, who can buy any kit they desire, your kits mean a lot to you, they are the instruments that have propelled your drumming career. Especially your first kit. What I'm trying to say is that each kit you own should be very hard to get rid of, try to save up enough money for the Sonor and keep your Tama, they both will have things that the other wont.

Personally, I will never sell a drumkit, try to keep it. especially if you have to face your parents answer, when you have a child, a pretty Tama kit like yours would make one FINE birthday present
No, of course they wouldn`t stop the Fed Ex guy, though if it is UPS I could imagine they do stop him: They drive right next to the UPS guy on the highway, jump into the UPS car because it has no doors like all UPS cars, throw the nice UPS man out and then engulf the car in a lake.

Seriously now...I`ll wait. Like many people here said, patience is important now. My parents really react irritated when it comes to this topic.
I`ll see whether I can keep my Tama or whether I would have to sell it.

Karl
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  #27  
Old 08-14-2007, 10:53 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

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Originally Posted by fijjibo View Post
Me - I like to think Im a competent player, but I also feel the need to get that next bit of gear, constantly.
Dont we all!! So far I've bought everything i've wanted, and not necessarily needed. But now i've learnt that to live with what I have ans really scrimp and save for that little bit longer an not settle with second best. Karl save up for that Sonor and you'll be so glad you did.

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Originally Posted by ironcobra View Post
Personally, I will never sell a drumkit, try to keep it. especially if you have to face your parents answer, when you have a child, a pretty Tama kit like yours would make one FINE birthday present
Wise words. Touching in fact, no joke! You are completely correct about not selling a kit. At the moment I am building my kit to my ideal place but I have not sold anything that has been replaced, it helps to swap and change things around and give the variety to your playing and kit. Hope all our views are helping Karl,

Adam x
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  #28  
Old 08-15-2007, 05:29 AM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

Ahh wow i know how you feel. At the very moment my parents wont let my upgrade my ZBT's cause i need money for car insurance and gas when i get my license in three months. At times i get sick of playing cause i cant stop paying attention to what i could get my cymbals to sound like if my parents would let me use some of my saved money.

But i guess i learned to live with it. I already expect myself to sell my kit sometime during college (*cringe*) and hopefully i can get my life started up and save for a sweet custom kit with the nice cymbals i want.

Now things dont always go as planned but hey, at least i will keep my drum pad.
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  #29  
Old 08-15-2007, 08:23 PM
ethanos ethanos is offline
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

Quite the dilemma indeed... I'm assuming the tama you have is a standard 5 piece kit? And I gather from what you've said you want a kit in smaller sizes. Since your parents (can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em) aren't allowing you to buy a new kit, there are a few things you could potentially do to create the feel of a smaller kit on your tama. In fact these are things ive done to my stage custom (12, 13, 16, 22) to make it a suitable jazz kit. First of all you might want to go out and buy coated ambassador heads as resonant and batter side heads for your bass drum. Tuned reasonably high, with little to no muffling and no port, this will give your bass drum a wide open tone similar to that of a smaller bass drum, and a similar response. Another (slightly more expensive) route you could go is to fabricate or buy a bass drum cradle (still much less cash involved than buying an entire new kit) and use your largest tom as a bass drum, and bring your 2nd mounted tom down to a floor tom position. Sure, your toms will be quite small, but they will nevertheless blend in nicely with your bass drum. Keep in mind this option will only yield a 4 piece kit. Hope this helps a bit, and always remember, it's the drummer that makes the equipment sound good, not the other way around!

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  #30  
Old 08-15-2007, 08:29 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

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Originally Posted by Drummer Karl View Post
Damn.
Isn`t such a long story...but yeah, it is as simple as that: My parents won`t allow me to sell my Tama and get a new smaller sized kit.

Here is the thread about the selling-buying story btw: http://www.drummerworld.com/forums/s...ad.php?t=29450

Today while having breakfast they laughed about letting a kit build and then just said that they won`t allow me all that.
They are just horrible when it comes to selling gear and buying something you like. Their arguments are:

Selling a kit for 1000€ and then getting one for 800€ is bad because you lose money. If you wanna sell it again you will have to sell it for even less...

I would have this kit in my practice and recording room 90% of the time, another reason for not doing it.


Firstly: I take what I can take and what I really enjoy. And who talks about selling??? Strange, they didn`t plan selling when I bought my Superstar Custom, they didn`t calculate anything.

Secondly: Maybe yes, maybe not...if I had some jazzier gigs here. Such a small set-up doesn`t go well on modern Rock gigs or so. For all the gigs I play I use my Basix 5-piece because they work better in those settings.

Jazz is nearly dead here!!!

Overall I can`t stand the attitude of my parents when it comes to selling gear and buying gear...or trading it.
For example the parents of the guitarist in my band tell her to do what she wanna do with her gear....it`s her decision.

What do you think?
Have you experienced similar situations?

Karl
Work on getting the kit when your not under your parents rent. That way they can't have any say. That's what I'm doing in 5 or 6 years. That's all I have to say.
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  #31  
Old 08-16-2007, 12:34 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

Please don't be too hard on your parents Karl.
They must be doing something right, look how you've turned out so far...................

LVDC
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  #32  
Old 08-16-2007, 01:06 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

I think you shouldn't complain that your parents don't support your drumming enough.
From what I remember from some of your older threads, you have a basix drumset and a tama, you have a nice set of cymbals, you have a recording room... Now, how many 16 year old drummers can say that? I can't. I know a lot of guys whose parents won't even let them have a drumset... Of course, I also dream away when I see all the guys on this forum posting their custom made jazz sets, their shiney cymbals, but you gotta stay serious. And you're 16, you'll be playing for at least another 50 years, so your taste and sound preferences will also change... That's why I would wait buying a custom kit... If you wait long enough, you'll hopefully get some money with gigs, maybe you can search for a job, and then when you're eighteen and more experienced in sound and drums (I know you already are a great drummer!), you can buy your dream kit, and you'll love your kit even more because you worked for it, you waited for it, you dreamed about it...

But that's just what I think of course...
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  #33  
Old 08-16-2007, 06:18 PM
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Drummer Karl Drummer Karl is offline
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

There is so much true.

Yeah, I can`t say they do not support me in any way. It was so nice of them to give me the money for the Basix. And overall they and especially my "father" (just the man who is living and married with my mother) supports me and he is interessted in my stuff...those are all things I just love them for, that they`re doing this for me.

Though then again I think you should really experience how they can be: Harsh, hurting, and totally unlogical. That is unfortunatly exactly that side I have to experience most the time...I hope it`s a phase, I hope they will get more clever in what they`re saying again.

But okay...I`ll see how everything develops and ghuyuiq is right I think: I`m 16. 16.....

Karl
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Old 08-16-2007, 09:48 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

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Originally Posted by Drummer Karl View Post
Though then again I think you should really experience how they can be: Harsh, hurting, and totally unlogical.
hahahaha

That's just parents for you man. They're all like that at times. When they get their house to themselves again (when all the kids move out), they magically become happy people again. hahahah
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  #35  
Old 08-17-2007, 08:57 AM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

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Originally Posted by DogBreath View Post
It's easy for me to say at my age, but.... patience, my friend, patience. The time will come when you will be able to make any decision that you wish and do anything that you want, and you are only a few years away from that time.
This is true. But then it all starts again when you get married. :)
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  #36  
Old 08-17-2007, 11:09 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

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Originally Posted by DamoSyzygy View Post
Interestingly I hear the same argument from young people when they buy their first kit "Cmon Dad, buy me this kit, I swear Ill play it forever."

I dont want to sound like the voice of doom and gloom here, but youre about to eneter an age bracket in your life where everything is going to change for you. Your parents are probably wise to that and are trying to hold off.
Damo man....being honest...this is Karl were talking about here....i reckon Karl will never give up drumming,.and honest to jesus i can see us all years from now...all us younger ones anyway...sitting listening to some funky new age jazz with Karl playing on it...while we all lay in obscurity....if theres one guy who has a serious taste,knowledge,drive and just pure love for music its Karl....

Karl...i was in your situation....im only 18 now....i have horrifically expensive pursuits....drumming and photography....

when i was 16 i got my first kit for free...it was a PP....6 months after i got my first proper(unbroken!)snare...a Sonor Force 3005....my parents actually had reservations about lending me €150 for a snare...then i went on the search for a new kit....ill be honest i didnt have any kind of money for a proper,decent,custom or the like kit....so i went off an combined my two loves....i started working with my €70 camera,taking commissions and doing band photos etc...i got about €50 a gig...(profit that is)...i then went off and bought a Sonor kit....used and €400....maybe you can do some part timing?

i know it wasnt as drastic a price as your looking at....but i suppose this kind of has relevance::

im now buying a camera......type in "1960s Hasselblad" in your google browser and you should find one on ebay....theyre vintage,beautiful cameras...some of the finest lenses,mechanisms etc that one can own.....im in college now(doing photography)...ive been working,doing commissions for people,places etc....ive got €€€ saved up...and still my poor parents say "no"...they ask why i dont get a Zenza Bronica...a camera similar to the Hassleblad...

....im 18....im not an adult...im not mature....i KNOW this....they know this....but what i DO know is that i have a real and proper LOVE for cameras....for music too....so if i have the money for this camera(and you basically will have the money for your kit...)im going to go out and use it....get the best deal i can...im not a stupid guy....nor are you....youll find a deal...so will i....

So when i find that deal, and i tell my parents "I'm gettin that camera"...im going to go buy that camera and use it as best i can....my parents may be tutting and moaning, "why did you spend €1000 on a friggin camera?when you could have spent €600 or less..."....then all it takes is some beautiful,black and white prints....printed in my makeshift darkroom in my bathroom...and theyll go....."oh ok..."....not being cocky...but if i show them what i can do with that camera theyll accept it...i do know i could have done the same with the other camera....but the end justifies the means....

i know your smart enough to be able to get a good deal...a good kit...i know youll use it...you do too...your parents will have reservations for the rest of your life....when you have kids and a house and a musical career to boot, your parents will still go "Karl..."....but if you argue your case in a mature manner...explain the costs involved...which are not unreasonable...your parents may accept it....hopefully they do...and if they do show them it wasnt the wrong decision....

if they dont accept it, a year and a half isnt too long......


wooooo....long!!!apologies!
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  #37  
Old 08-20-2007, 05:37 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

Quote:
Damo man....being honest...this is Karl were talking about here....i reckon Karl will never give up drumming,.and honest to jesus i can see us all years from now...all us younger ones anyway...sitting listening to some funky new age jazz with Karl playing on it...while we all lay in obscurity....if theres one guy who has a serious taste,knowledge,drive and just pure love for music its Karl....
Fair enough.

Im just saying that a) I dont really know Karl and b) Ive seen many many serious players give up when they start to get older because other priorities come into the equation or they simply lose interest.
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  #38  
Old 08-20-2007, 09:03 PM
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Default Re: New kit...parents say no.

Karl

a couple thoughts from another older drummer who knows what it's like to be a parent but also remembers what it's like to be in your shoes...

As Dogbreath (et al) said - PATIENCE is a good thing. you have to ask yourself - do you NEED this new kit? It sounds more like this is something you've convinced yourself that you really WANT. There's a big difference between the two and knowing the difference will help you stay sane. The thing is - if you wait, you may desire something else entirely different in another 18 months. Desires have a way of evolving over time as you change. You don't want to find yourself 1 or 2 years from now wishing that you didn't have that small kit because you just got a gig that requires a different (big kit) sound. As others have wisely pointed out - you have a nice kit already and this could be good opportunity for you to play around with different setups and tuning until you have figured out how to get everything possible out of the Tama's.

Also - by waiting, you can keep your eyes and ears open to see if a really fantastic deal pops up on the drums you want. Six months from now (or whenever), you might run across somebody who has the kit you're looking for and because of exigent circumstances, needs to get rid of it in a hurry and you could end up getting a great deal on it. There's a lot of value to knowing exactly what you want, but having the patience to wait for it. I suspect your parents might be more open to it if you can show them what a deal you've found (and they know you've been waiting patiently).

I know a lot of musician's (especially guitar players - for some reason) who are constantly trading and swapping intruments. There's nothing wrong with treating your drums as a commodity that can be sold or traded to get something different. If you're a sharp trader and are able to acquire things for a little bit less than they're worth and then get more out of them when you get rid of them - you may find that to be a good potential source of income... but the only way to make that work is to maintain emotional detachment and not let yourself be overly influenced by your desires.

For what it's worth - when I was your age, my drums and cymbals got handed down from my older brother (who was playing semi-professionally before he got out of high school). So while I had decent drums, I never had a kit that I was able to pick out for myself (it drove me kind of crazy, but I still played the hell out of those drums). Anyway - I got away from playing a few years after I graduated from college (life changes: marriage, family, career, etc.) until three years ago when I realized that I just HAD to pick it back up. My old drums were still stored in the basement of my parents house, so I dug them out, cleaned them up, tuned them up and played them one time at a jam session and decided that NOW was the time to get some new drums. So at the ripe old age of 45, I finally bought the first drumset that was exactly what I wanted (Tama Starclassic 5 pc bop kit). They weren't even brand new - although they were in virtually 'like-new' condition. Still - it was so sweet finally having my dream kit - and I appreciate those drums so much more now because of all the time that I waited to get them. I'm not suggesting you should wait 30 years to get new drums - but in context, waiting 1 or 2 years isn't so bad.

Lastly - you're at an age when listening to your parents may just get to be harder and harder. you probably want to establish your own sense of independence and listening to them (especially if they're being a little bit, or a lot, irrational) can be hard to swallow. Convincing them of their irrationality might be impossible - so at some point you have to decide what is more important to you - getting what you want (in this case a new kit), or maintaining peace at home. There's nothing wrong with knowing what you want and going for it as long as you know what the consequences of your actions will be and are willing and able to deal with them. Taking risks and maybe even making mistakes will teach you a lot but your parents may have a hard time letting go enough to let you experience that, or maybe they're just trying to keep control of you for as long as they can (I don't know them, so it would be foolish for me to guess).

just my humble opinion - sorry for rambling on and on...
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