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  #1  
Old 07-19-2007, 12:04 AM
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Jon Cable Jon Cable is offline
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Default Lyrix what I wrote for the new album...

More depression pt 1
Each job I've tried,
I seem to bungle
entombed in a bedsit
In a concrete jungle
No friends, no interest
No reason to rejoice
The only one I ever hear
Is my secret, inner voice.

Chorus;
The Darkness hangs heavy on me
Smothers my will to fight
The Darkness overwhelms and holds me;
Turns daytime to dark night.
But the voice helps me upwards
Urging me on with its joy
I feel like a child all over again
But this time it's me thats the toy


Doesn't talk all the time,
Says good things as well as bad,
Gives me my silent instruction
To keep me from getting too sad
Charity workers come & go
Spouting the SocioWord
But my voice talks more sense than they do;
It makes what they say absurd

Chorus repeat

Sometimes it whispers so sweetly
Then screams in my ear so loud
Always makes me feel wanted
But feel so alone in a crowd.
Now huddled under my bedding
Feeling that I'm at my end;
The voice keeps up its whispering
My silent, invisible friend

Chorus repeat [end]

Hmmmm, cheery stuff, hope y'all like it....
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Last edited by Jon Cable; 07-19-2007 at 12:05 AM. Reason: got it wrongly spaced...
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Old 07-19-2007, 01:13 AM
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Default Re: Lyrix what I wrote for the new album...

Very Cheery! I love it! I noticed the word "bungle." Any referrence to the band? Out of curiousity.. where did the song come from, if you wouldn't mind elaborating?
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Old 07-19-2007, 05:32 PM
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Default Re: Lyrix what I wrote for the new album...

Im a student nurse and am currently doing the mental health part pf my training, spend all day talking to ppl with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder etc and the words are sorta based on stuff they tell me.
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Old 07-19-2007, 05:38 PM
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Default Re: Lyrix what I wrote for the new album...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jon Cable View Post
Im a student nurse and am currently doing the mental health part pf my training, spend all day talking to ppl with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder etc and the words are sorta based on stuff they tell me.
Thats a cool background story, very good lyrics too.
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Old 07-19-2007, 09:05 PM
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Default Re: Lyrix what I wrote for the new album...

Thanx bro, means a lot from a Zep fan.
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Old 07-20-2007, 06:35 AM
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Default Re: Lyrix what I wrote for the new album...

that's a good start man, but the rhyme scheme and rythym are a little predictable for my taste. That's just me though. Try experimenting with different rythmic phrasings in the lyrics.
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Old 07-20-2007, 01:14 PM
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Jon Cable Jon Cable is offline
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Default Re: Lyrix what I wrote for the new album...

Quote:
Originally Posted by millerdakiller View Post
that's a good start man, but the rhyme scheme and rythym are a little predictable for my taste. That's just me though. Try experimenting with different rythmic phrasings in the lyrics.
Thanx bro, my first attempt; the guy I'm 'working' with on this email album asked if I had any ideas for words and thats what came out!! I think its more in a simple poetry style than a song lyric, but surprised me that I could even string it together! Done another, little darker;

The slightest of movements
Releases my pain
All of my sadness
Escapes from a vein
Although there's a sting
Its only so fleeting
The feeling of relief
The joy that I'm meeting.
They ask me why?
They want me to tell
How such tiny cuts
Set me free from hell.
You cant understand
You'll never know
That such simple acts
Can comfort me so
The scars are stigmata
The proof of my pain
My releasing from torture
Over and over again.
The marks are the evidence
That you can't percieve
You can't comprehend
The torment I believe.


Cheerful stuff hey?? JC
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Old 07-21-2007, 03:30 AM
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Default Re: Lyrix what I wrote for the new album...

I like the second one better.I could hear like a Metallica beat and deep hard guitar chords
screaming.Double bass beating and a china smashing.
Have fun with it.
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Old 07-21-2007, 09:07 AM
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Default Re: Lyrix what I wrote for the new album...

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Originally Posted by Pinner View Post
I like the second one better.I could hear like a Metallica beat and deep hard guitar chords
screaming.Double bass beating and a china smashing.
Have fun with it.
Yeah, lotsa fun dude!!
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