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  #1  
Old 04-07-2007, 03:28 AM
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Default Too Obsessed?

Am I too obsessed with drumming? My mom says that I am. It is all ever talk about because that's all I know. I don't really keep up with todays pop culture very much although I try.
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Old 04-07-2007, 03:31 AM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

Naww.
I don't think so.
What makes her come to this conclusion?
Do you tap a lot as well?
Or is it just cause you talk about drums non-stop?
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Old 04-07-2007, 03:34 AM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

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Originally Posted by drummerchick435 View Post
Am I too obsessed with drumming? My mom says that I am. It is all ever talk about because that's all I know. I don't really keep up with todays pop culture very much although I try.
Pop culture is stupid. if you dont want to follow it, then dont.
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Old 04-07-2007, 03:41 AM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

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Originally Posted by groovemaster_flex View Post
Naww.
I don't think so.
What makes her come to this conclusion?
Do you tap a lot as well?
Or is it just cause you talk about drums non-stop?
Well today all I talked about was drums.
I do tap a lot and I think it drivers her crazy but its become second nature. If I stop tapping I feel weird.

I've also asked her if I could start gigging but she's just says no without any explaination. She also won't let me post pics of my drums or video of my drumming! I keep telling her that it will be hard for me to become a pro drummer if I don't gig but she just doesn't understand.
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Old 04-07-2007, 03:44 AM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

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Originally Posted by drummerchick435 View Post
Well today all I talked about was drums.
I do tap a lot and I think it drivers her crazy but its become second nature. If I stop tapping I feel weird.

I've also asked her if I could start gigging but she's just says no without any explaination. She also won't let me post pics of my drums or video of my drumming! I keep telling her that it will be hard for me to become a pro drummer if I don't gig but she just doesn't understand.
whats her reasoning for NO giging and posting?
the guys in my band were 14 when we started playing shows in bars

-Wes
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  #6  
Old 04-07-2007, 03:50 AM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

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Originally Posted by wnameth View Post
whats her reasoning for NO giging and posting?
the guys in my band were 14 when we started playing shows in bars

-Wes
She won't explain about the gigging. She's says that the internet is too dangerous for me but I've only gotten approached once in the nine months I've been here but that was ,thanks to the excellent moderation here, promptly taken care of.
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Old 04-07-2007, 03:54 AM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

I don't understand why your mom would say no?
If it's something you truly love, why wouldn't she support you?
My parents are like that to, but they think that music isn't a good career choice.
But I don't have much talent in any other areas =T
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  #8  
Old 04-07-2007, 04:01 AM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

I think she wants it to be a hobby instead of a career. She wants me to have a steady desk job but I can't stand that kind of thing! But the minute I get out of high school I'm going to audition and/or start my own band.
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Old 04-07-2007, 04:11 AM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

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Originally Posted by drummerchick435 View Post
I think she wants it to be a hobby instead of a career. She wants me to have a steady desk job but I can't stand that kind of thing! But the minute I get out of high school I'm going to audition and/or start my own band.
More power to you (Y)
I've already started now, actually.
I've got a job as a session artist on weekends. Playing bass and drums for a local studio.
And though people say it's tough to make money as a musician. It really isn't.
As long as you keep up to date with your contacts and put your heart into your work.
You'll do fine (Y)
You've got my support :)
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  #10  
Old 04-07-2007, 10:23 AM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

Maybe your mother is mistaking dedication for obsession?
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Old 04-07-2007, 03:12 PM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

if it is taking away from everything else in your life, then it is too obsessed, but if it is just your greatest passion, then its fine. My mom used to think the same way until I started being a lot more active with the drums rather than just practicing an hour a day for no real results. Now she has realized that drums are pretty much my life. Of course, i have become addicted to drums- I'm on vacation right now, but still posting here, and when I put away my drumset before coming, it felt like burying a deceased family member. Also, I have relapsed and have re-taken up guitar since I can't go a week and a half without playing some sort of instrument!
I think your mom just hasn't had time to realize that drumming is your passion and dedication, like some kids have with football or basketball or cars or whatever else.
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Old 04-07-2007, 05:02 PM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

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Originally Posted by hawk9290 View Post
if it is taking away from everything else in your life, then it is too obsessed, but if it is just your greatest passion, then its fine. My mom used to think the same way until I started being a lot more active with the drums rather than just practicing an hour a day for no real results. Now she has realized that drums are pretty much my life. Of course, i have become addicted to drums- I'm on vacation right now, but still posting here, and when I put away my drumset before coming, it felt like burying a deceased family member. Also, I have relapsed and have re-taken up guitar since I can't go a week and a half without playing some sort of instrument!
I think your mom just hasn't had time to realize that drumming is your passion and dedication, like some kids have with football or basketball or cars or whatever else.
It doesn't take away from anything else in my life...it actually adds to it. I've grown more active in my church's music dept. (youth choir, youth praise band). It is difficult for me to go on vacation with out drumming as well...I got a djembe this past Christmas and I've started to take it everywhere just to get some rhythm pumping through my veins. I've also been checking up on craigslist and there's a Christian Metal band looking for a drummer in my state and I thought my parents wouldn't mind me playing in a Christian band. I've also wanted to learn metal.
It's also really hard for me to have more than one interest because I have a condition called Aspergers Syndrome but she just doesn't know how to deal with it.
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  #13  
Old 04-07-2007, 06:11 PM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

Maybe it's because of your aspergers that your mum is worrying about an interest turning into an obsession....
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  #14  
Old 04-07-2007, 06:16 PM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

there are a lot of far worse things to be obsessed about. this is a positive, healthy, creative and expressive hobby. i think your mom is lucky to have a daughter who is addicted to something good.

j
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Old 04-07-2007, 06:18 PM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

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Originally Posted by jonescrusher View Post
Maybe it's because of your aspergers that your mum is worrying about an interest turning into an obsession....
I never thought about that. but what's wrong with having an obsession?
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Old 04-07-2007, 06:27 PM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

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Originally Posted by NUTHA JASON View Post
there are a lot of far worse things to be obsessed about. this is a positive, healthy, creative and expressive hobby. i think your mom is lucky to have a daughter who is addicted to something good.

j
Thanks ,J. I'll tell her that. I don't think she's used to having a kid like me. My big brother and little sister are "normal" kids. My brother loves the outdoors (camping, hiking, mountain biking etc.) and guitar. My sister loves dance and crafts and singing. I'm the only one with one interest. Drumming does keep me from getting into trouble and out of depression.
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  #17  
Old 04-07-2007, 06:42 PM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

its natural for a drummer to talk drums all the time and tap.
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  #18  
Old 04-07-2007, 06:44 PM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

You are not too obsessed. All i ever talk about is drums too. During lunch when i am done eating during school, i take out my sticks and play on whatever surface i can (shoe, floor, knee, chair, Bells hard shell case).

If you were to ever talk to any of my friends you would really learn how obsessed i am with drumming. I would think it be perfectly normal for a drummer to think of themselves as being obsessed.
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Old 04-07-2007, 06:54 PM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

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Originally Posted by drummerchick435 View Post
I never thought about that. but what's wrong with having an obsession?
The word obsession is a little extreme, but as mentioned, dedication and passion are good things.

As long as drumming is part of your life, and not your whole life, you'll be able to maintain a personal balance. Once you demonstrate that you have a healthy perspective on drumming, your mom will feel more comfortable with it. But it's not going to be an overnight transformation for either of you. Give it some time. Patience is necessary here, as it is in many aspects of life.

There's also the possibility that your mom will continue to have a problem with your drumming pursuits anyway, and you may have to wait until you're out of the house in order to do more of what you want. In any event, it's certainly not worth stressing the relationship you have with her. You only have one mother.

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Old 04-07-2007, 07:28 PM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

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Originally Posted by bermuda View Post
The word obsession is a little extreme, but as mentioned, dedication and passion are good things.

As long as drumming is part of your life, and not your whole life, you'll be able to maintain a personal balance. Once you demonstrate that you have a healthy perspective on drumming, your mom will feel more comfortable with it. But it's not going to be an overnight transformation for either of you. Give it some time. Patience is necessary here, as it is in many aspects of life.

There's also the possibility that your mom will continue to have a problem with your drumming pursuits anyway, and you may have to wait until you're out of the house in order to do more of what you want. In any event, it's certainly not worth stressing the relationship you have with her. You only have one mother.

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Good response Bermuda.
Thanks
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Old 04-07-2007, 08:43 PM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

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Originally Posted by drummerchick435 View Post
I never thought about that. but what's wrong with having an obsession?
As Jason says, there'e not really anything wrong with being obsessed by a musical instrument, but as a mother, she likely looks at what you do and can't help but relate it in terms of your condition, whether it's healthy or not. It's just what mums do.
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  #22  
Old 04-07-2007, 09:20 PM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

Thanks everyone. I do kind of have my priorities straight but I may need to work on them a little.
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Old 04-07-2007, 09:51 PM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

nah its not so bad. its healthy, and keeps you very fit. also i find musicians to be much smarter then others. keep it up, you will be a great pro drummer some day!
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Old 04-07-2007, 10:09 PM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

Don't let this obsession worry you. Like Nutha said there are many worse things to be obsessed with. I too am pretty obsessed with the drums. I love the drums....I get great joy from the drums and from talking drums with other drummers. I think people who do not play the drums just don't get it and that is ok. And yes I think those close to me get tired of hearing me talk about the drums but at the same time they see the joy I get from it. And I would call it a passion....not and obsession, as that is how we on this forum feel about the drums.....passionate!! Enjoy your drums and drumming!!!
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Old 04-08-2007, 12:04 AM
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I think people who do not play the drums just don't get it and that is ok.
Reading all these replies makes me think that the only people truly passionate about their instrument are drummers. I thought that being on DW would give me a place to talk about drums until I'm satisfied but it just made me worse...which is a good thing! Before I joined I was very confused about things such as why to learn rudiments (I've only had three drum lessons and those were class style not one on one) or which cymbals would be good for me. So that said I now have more to talk about!
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Old 04-08-2007, 04:27 AM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

You're only too obsessed when you altogether can't function and quit doing the basic important things. In all honesty it's kinda taken over my life too, but I'm just that interested. It's that fun. It's special when something becomes this important to you, cherish it.
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Old 04-08-2007, 05:39 AM
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Thanks Mr. Pasquini. I still do things I need to do like school, family, friends, and taking care of myself. It is very special to me because it took me a long (I mean a loooong) time to find something I was good at. Here's what I tried in my life:
nursery school and kindergarten: ballet and soccer
elementary school grades 1 - 3: softball
grades 4 - 6: basketball and skateboarding (I was in real tomboy phase then)
middle school: piano (I took that up pretty well but I figured out that drumming is my true musical love)
9th through now: drums at last!
*start the violins*
I've also loved the drums my whole life but didn't know I did until I could sort out my feelings. When I was little I would always ask for toy drums at Christmas because my little sister would break them all the time. Then in about 5th or 6th grade I looked into joining my old homeschool's bagpipe and drum corps but I really wanted to play the "big drums" (the drum set) so I asked my parents ,after playing someone's kit at a summer camp, if I could play them and they let me! Ever since then I was hooked.
*stop violins and grab tissues" lol
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Old 04-08-2007, 09:38 PM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

my mom is like that she says it's not a good career choice, but you want it to be your career so you are dedicated to it anyway possible
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Old 04-09-2007, 06:30 AM
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PFFFT you can never be too obsessed, you should love it and so should your parents.
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Old 04-09-2007, 10:34 PM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

Some people are obsessed with drugs, or crap like World of Warcraft.

You and your parents should be glad that you have a healthy obession with something that could actually make you some money some day, instead of leading to a life of crime or no social life.
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Old 04-09-2007, 11:30 PM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

Thanks ,y'all. Drums do keep me out of trouble and I have a few friends (I wish I had more but I'm not very good at socializing because of AS)
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Old 04-10-2007, 12:27 AM
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I have Asperger's syndrome myself, and one trait of people with AS is that once they get hooked on something they will not let it go until they are done or reach perfection (I wish I'd get hooked on my classes and studying for finals...), sometimes getting into it more than is good for them if you know what I mean. So there is a risk that drums might be controlling your life, and I guess your mom's afraid of that. But if you have control over the amount of time you spend drumming and talking about drums I don't think there's any need to worry.
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Old 04-10-2007, 12:43 AM
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I have Asperger's syndrome myself, and one trait of people with AS is that once they get hooked on something they will not let it go until they are done or reach perfection (I wish I'd get hooked on my classes and studying for finals...), sometimes getting into it more than is good for them if you know what I mean. So there is a risk that drums might be controlling your life, and I guess your mom's afraid of that. But if you have control over the amount of time you spend drumming and talking about drums I don't think there's any need to worry.
Thanks, Big_Philly. It doesn't control my life too much only about 75% of what I talk about is drums. I also spend a whole lot of time on homework because it does take me longer than usual to finish so I end up with about 1 or 2 hours of free time during the day which is used for drumming.
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Old 08-20-2007, 09:59 PM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

Well...Yea I'm more in LOVE with drums...Drums and Music Are my Life
My Friends know I'm very serious when it comes to music and drums...
But yea you wont have to worry about gigging untill your in a band your alowwed and your good (Im not saying your not cause Idk ;D)

God Bless,

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Old 08-21-2007, 07:03 PM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

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Originally Posted by drummerchick435 View Post
Well today all I talked about was drums.
I do tap a lot and I think it drivers her crazy but its become second nature. If I stop tapping I feel weird.

I've also asked her if I could start gigging but she's just says no without any explaination. She also won't let me post pics of my drums or video of my drumming! I keep telling her that it will be hard for me to become a pro drummer if I don't gig but she just doesn't understand.

She won't explain about the gigging. She's says that the internet is too dangerous for me but I've only gotten approached once in the nine months I've been here but that was ,thanks to the excellent moderation here, promptly taken care of.
..and a hearty 'Well Done' to the mods!

Your Mum only does this because she loves and cares for you and parents are a misguided as everyone else about everything else. My own view is 'How do you stop kids getting run over unless they know what a car looks like and you show them how to cross the road?'. So if it was me I'd let you go to auditions and gigs but I'd probably be in the wings for a while just in case.

Have you tried reverse psychology? You could suddenly become really heavy into Satanism (just for a couple of weeks) then she'll be soooo relieved when you drop that and take up drumming again she'll be sooo encouraging :0)

Is there anyone else who understands in your family, Uncles, Aunts or another adult, perhaps your band leader who could have a word. Parents are funny about learning from their kids but another adult may have the desired effect. Seriously, until you leave home you'll just have to keep up the pressure on her.

At least you'll always have an understanding ear around us :0)

Keep smiling
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  #36  
Old 08-29-2007, 01:42 AM
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Some people are obsessed with drugs, or crap like World of Warcraft.
LOL, that's the quote of the year.
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Old 10-25-2007, 12:58 AM
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I think she wants it to be a hobby instead of a career. She wants me to have a steady desk job but I can't stand that kind of thing! But the minute I get out of high school I'm going to audition and/or start my own band.
being in a band is the best thing ever

you make music.. play the drums, and hang out and goof around with your best friends.. well thats what i do
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Old 10-25-2007, 04:05 AM
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Default Re: Too Obsessed?

It seems like we all went through that stage when we first started playing,

Oh wait it been 30 years and I am still obsessed with drums ;-)
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