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  #1  
Old 12-27-2017, 03:43 AM
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Default Just quit a band on Christmas Day

As much as I say "I love to play the drums and will therefore, play anything with anybody, especially Mustang Sally", I decided to call it quits with one band yesterday on Christmas. I had been hem-hawing it for the last month or so and just decided to bow out of being the percussionist for a horn band that I initially met when I subbed-in as their drummer a few times.

I was grateful to have been asked to become a permanent member of the band (they even let go of one horn player to accommodate their new love of all things conga) and I told them this. But the truth is, my heart is not into playing the congas. At first I told myself that this is cool, and I'm one-step closer to being the drummer, and then the situation grated on me because although I can do it, I don't relish playing hand percussion. I spent my life being a drummer, and I'm much happier happier playing that instrument. The last time I played with the band as a conguero I just felt disengenuine.

I did tell them that I am still available if they need a sub-drummer, and that's where my heart really lies. It might be different if this was a full-blown latin band where the congas are driving the band, but in cover band pop music, it's used more as a color. I like being the anchor, I guess.

I know, I suck for telling the band manager on Christmas....
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Old 12-27-2017, 06:58 AM
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Default Re: Just quit a band on Christmas Day

Come to think of it, I have never 'quit' a band. All my former bands just fizzled out of existence. I haven't even really been fired from a band, aside from a single rehearsal/try-out and them not liking my work.
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Old 12-27-2017, 03:41 PM
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Default Re: Just quit a band on Christmas Day

If they are professionals and you handled it professionally then it is what it is. It probably isn't the first time someone makes a decision to leave the band and it won't be the last.

Regarding the timing....."eh", maybe a little wonky but what is done is done......no regrets.
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Old 12-27-2017, 04:00 PM
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Default Re: Just quit a band on Christmas Day

I think if you weren't happy it may show, so quiting actually did both you and the band a favor. Movin' on.
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Old 12-27-2017, 10:17 PM
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Default Re: Just quit a band on Christmas Day

Even when you're playing the drums, if you're playing stuff that you're not into, it gets tough after a while to stay motivated to give the project what it needs.
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Old 12-27-2017, 10:52 PM
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Default Re: Just quit a band on Christmas Day

Hey not the worst thing you could have done. It was a decision you made and at least you told them instead of just not showing up. Good job lad.
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  #7  
Old 12-28-2017, 01:40 AM
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Default Re: Just quit a band on Christmas Day

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Originally Posted by Angus Macinnes View Post
Hey not the worst thing you could have done. It was a decision you made and at least you told them instead of just not showing up. Good job lad.
I figured I’d catch them while everyone was on a break, then they have time to put feelers out for another percussionist. They’re still working on booking dates and the first one so far is June.
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  #8  
Old 12-28-2017, 12:43 PM
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Default Re: Just quit a band on Christmas Day

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Originally Posted by Bo Eder View Post
I don't relish playing hand percussion.
Your relish simply needs a rebuild. I'd suggest a rousing GoFundMe®
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  #9  
Old 12-28-2017, 03:07 PM
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Default Re: Just quit a band on Christmas Day

Well, it's certainly better than having a revelation during a show and quitting in the middle of the set by possibly having a Dave Grohl moment; pitching and tossing instruments about, then yelling "Merry Christmas" as you storm out the back.

Assume you parted via email? Phone?

Did you finish the conversation with "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year?"

All in all, good to catch them on break. Sounds like regardless the time of year, you did what a respecting pro should do and take advantage of downtime.
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Old 12-28-2017, 05:34 PM
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Default Re: Just quit a band on Christmas Day

Clearly sounds like the right decision Bo and I’m sure that your notification was handled in a professional manner, though I do wonder about your sense of timing. Christmas Day?
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  #11  
Old 12-28-2017, 05:43 PM
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Default Re: Just quit a band on Christmas Day

If you're not happy playing that instrument in that band, then it's definitely better that you took care of it.

I was in a similar situation many years ago. I had subbed on a different percussion instrument for a couple years in a band before they offered me the position full time. Would have been steady touring work up to this day still if I'd wanted it, but despite a basic competency on the instrument, I didn't feel like it was really my thing for a number of reasons, plus it wouldve been a big distraction from actually playing the drums. The guy they ended up getting was great and had the perfect personality for the instrument, so everyone got the better end of that situation.

You gotta trust your gut. When I ignore those feelings, it is usually to my great peril. Or annoyance.
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Old 12-28-2017, 07:30 PM
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  #12  
Old 12-28-2017, 07:37 PM
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Default Re: Just quit a band on Christmas Day

.......................

Last edited by BruceW; 12-29-2017 at 07:17 PM. Reason: deleted
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  #13  
Old 12-29-2017, 03:24 AM
mike d mike d is offline
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Default Re: Just quit a band on Christmas Day

Bo, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
It wasn't your thing. ... so you did the right thing.
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  #14  
Old 12-30-2017, 04:24 PM
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Default Re: Just quit a band on Christmas Day

Yeah, I don't blame you, Bo. I played Cajon in a band for a couple of years. Well, I added hi-hat, snare and a ride cymbal, but overall I didn't particularly enjoy it and didn't feel 'at home'. Percussion doesn't really float my boat. Getting back to full drumkit was so much more satisfying.
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  #15  
Old 01-02-2018, 07:59 PM
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Default Re: Just quit a band on Christmas Day

I know how you feel. I played back-up percussion in a friend's band in college and it's not the same as sitting in the driver's seat. We won a bar band competition, each getting a share of a gift certificate to a local music store and when I went to redeem my share I found out they'd already split the winnings four ways (I was #5). That was the end of that.
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  #16  
Old 01-03-2018, 01:08 PM
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Default Re: Just quit a band on Christmas Day

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Originally Posted by PlayTheSong View Post
I know how you feel. I played back-up percussion in a friend's band in college and it's not the same as sitting in the driver's seat. We won a bar band competition, each getting a share of a gift certificate to a local music store and when I went to redeem my share I found out they'd already split the winnings four ways (I was #5). That was the end of that.
What shitty behaviour. I imagine that's less about 'bands and music' and more about selfish twats.

I'd resign, after having wrapped a stand around someone's neck. In that regard I admire your apparent restraint.
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  #17  
Old 01-04-2018, 02:41 AM
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Default Re: Just quit a band on Christmas Day

Quote:
Originally Posted by PlayTheSong View Post
I know how you feel. I played back-up percussion in a friend's band in college and it's not the same as sitting in the driver's seat. We won a bar band competition, each getting a share of a gift certificate to a local music store and when I went to redeem my share I found out they'd already split the winnings four ways (I was #5). That was the end of that.
I guess fortunately for me, I was getting paid. But when your heart’s not in it, the money doesn’t make up for it, either. Good thing I was never in your situation. I would’ve gone violent ;)
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