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  #1  
Old 11-13-2012, 10:35 AM
Wackamole Wackamole is offline
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Default First baby due next Friday...

And I'm wondering, does anyone else find the gutteral screams you see on all the birth videos kind of hilarious in a really nervous kind of way? I have this thing where whenever I get nervous or don't know what to do with myself or uncomfortable I go into hysterical laughing, and I'm thinking this MAY not go over too well in the birthing room. Any ideas?

Also, wife won't let me play any screamo on birthing music playlist, also any suggestions. I told her if we play Within Destruction by As I lay Dying the baby will come out in no time but she doesn't believe me. I said with the pain she's going through it'd kind of be like sing along, still no bites. Tough crowd.

Also, excuses to get out of changing nappies?
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  #2  
Old 11-13-2012, 11:08 AM
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Pocket-full-of-gold Pocket-full-of-gold is offline
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

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Originally Posted by Wackamole View Post
Also, wife won't let me play any screamo on birthing music playlist, also any suggestions.
Biggest laugh I ever had was watching our "birth plan" fly out the window quick smart when the proverbial hit the fan and we swung into action.

It's a nice pipe dream, but rates as about the least practical suggestion I've ever encountered.....in fact I'm convinced the concept was invented by someone who's never had kids. Take it as it comes my friend......that's the very best advice I can offer.

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Originally Posted by Wackamole View Post
Also, excuses to get out of changing nappies?
I was actually cunning enough to think up a few. But you'll find that there's a trade off between really not wanting to get crap on your hands and really not wanting your precious little one wallowing in their own filth. You'll surprise yourself at how easy it is to "rise above" this one.

Congrats......and best of luck (you can't get enough of that one!!)
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Last edited by Pocket-full-of-gold; 11-13-2012 at 01:24 PM.
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  #3  
Old 11-13-2012, 12:29 PM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

I used to be able to change a crap diaper with one hand while eating breakfast with the other. You get so used to it that you don't even realize what you are doing.
After caring for babies there is nothing that can gross me out anymore :)

The only thing that I wasn't good at was waking up when the baby cried at night.
I would sleep right through it.
It used to get under the Misses skin!
She thought that I was faking being asleep to get out of bottle duty.

I wish happy parenthood to both of you.
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Old 11-13-2012, 01:23 PM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

There was a notice in the waiting room of our maternity hospital. "Relax, we've never lost a father yet".
It's true that all the hanging around and the screaming is a bit off-putting but remember that this is a perfectly natural process. There's nothing wrong with it. When the baby is born your whole philosophy will change. Trust me.
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Old 11-13-2012, 03:23 PM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

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Originally Posted by Pocket-full-of-gold View Post
Biggest laugh I ever had was watching our "birth plan" fly out the window quick smart when the proverbial hit the fan and we swung into action.
Utterly true. Once things get underway, you're both simply along for the ride. The process is designed by nature, & there's bugger all you can do to significantly influence anything. What will be, will be.

Birthday warnings:

1/ Getting too far into your spouses personal space when she's in pain, believing you are showing empathy, will result in serious injury.

2/ Slipping out to the pub, or any other male distraction, because her first labour has become protracted/boring, will entail a heavy lifelong price being paid.

3/ Just because she doesn't need you right now, doesn't mean she won't need you in 5 seconds time, wether she actually does or not.

4/ Fainting/passing out will result in years of ridicule, especially from your mates.

5/ Trying the gas/air mix will result in you looking like an idiot.

6/ She will expect flowers/card/balloons, etc the moment the mess is cleared up. Buy in advance!

In all seriousness, just do the best you can. She'll see that in you, & she does value you being there & supporting, irrespective of what she says ;)

Ok, sorting out baby cleaning duties. Just get straight on with it. It's not difficult. It's only smelly stuff, & you can wash it off afterwards. It really should be the least of your worries. You're a drummer FFS, just get it sorted out & move on. Nappy changing wimp displays are for vocalists & guitarists ;)

The very best to both of you. This is real special. Savour all of it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bobdadruma View Post

The only thing that I wasn't good at was waking up when the baby cried at night.
I would sleep right through it.
It used to get under the Misses skin!
She thought that I was faking being asleep to get out of bottle duty.
Both mine were on boob juice for about 9 months, & from then onwards, they slept right through anyhow. That didn't get me off the hook though, as I got up at the same time as my wife, & made her a cup of tea to sup after baby had fed. I cut a pretty mean single stroke with the breast pump too :)
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  #6  
Old 11-13-2012, 03:31 PM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

Congrats for sure and all good advice so far, just remember when changing a nappie( whatever that is) what ever gets on your hands will wash off!!
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  #7  
Old 11-13-2012, 04:13 PM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wackamole View Post
And I'm wondering, does anyone else find the gutteral screams you see on all the birth videos kind of hilarious in a really nervous kind of way? I have this thing where whenever I get nervous or don't know what to do with myself or uncomfortable I go into hysterical laughing, and I'm thinking this MAY not go over too well in the birthing room. Any ideas?
You sound like someone who's not a father yet : )

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Originally Posted by Wackamole View Post
... I said with the pain she's going through it'd kind of be like sing along
It probably will. Carrol Burnett once described what it feels like to having a baby. (... largely for the benefit of men... ). She said its like " if you grab your lower lip firmly and then pull it over your head"

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Also, excuses to get out of changing nappies?
I've been shot in the leg! ....?


...
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  #8  
Old 11-13-2012, 04:49 PM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

Andy's reply is the quintessential essence of things, pure gold. Changing diapers, nappies, whatever, nothing to it. Don't do it with a completely dry cloth/napkin, don't want to irritate the little tike, there's plenty of time for that lol.

Hey man, seriously, congratulations. The day my son was born continues to be the best day of my life and the best thing that ever happened to me.
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  #9  
Old 11-13-2012, 05:37 PM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

I'd give anything for my college age daughter to be a baby again. I loved changing diapers and all that stuff. It's what God put you on earth to do. You'll be fine. Enjoy every moment. It goes by really fast :)
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  #10  
Old 11-13-2012, 05:54 PM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

Firstly...congradulations.

Dude..why would you want to get out of changing napies.?Thats part of being a dad,and not just a parent.

My youngest is 32,and it seems like yesterday the I was changing her,and it was one of my first thoughts as I watched her graduate from law school Summa Cum Laude.

Their time under your roof goes by the the blink of an eye,and once the're born....the world and your life in it changes forever.

Spend all the time you possibly can with your kids.You can never take enough photos or videos.Your new job now....is to be the best dad you can be.It take constant work,and everyday attention.

This is a rare opportunity to be a hero to someone else,so never less than 100% is what you have to give.You'll be a better man for it...:)

Steve B
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  #11  
Old 11-13-2012, 06:13 PM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

Congrats!

When my wife was pregnant, I swore up and down I would never change a diaper. But once he was born, that went out the window. As pocket said you'll find yourself really not wanting your precious little one wallowing in their own filth. And after a few times, you get so used to it, it quickly ceases to bother you.

How one defines gross changes drastically after becoming a parent.
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  #12  
Old 11-13-2012, 06:15 PM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

Congrats! You're in store for the best years of your life.

We had a difficult delivery (C-section) and my wife lost a lot of blood and remained in the hospital for seven days and was unable to care for the baby due to her condition so i had to jump in full blast from the start. I'm just now catching my breath! Our daughter is now 13 and starts basketball season this weekend. Seems like yesterday when she was a baby.
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Old 11-13-2012, 07:07 PM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

Think of all the extra time you'll have to play drums now!
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  #14  
Old 11-13-2012, 11:11 PM
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Pocket-full-of-gold Pocket-full-of-gold is offline
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

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Originally Posted by keep it simple View Post
5/ Trying the gas/air mix will result in you looking like an idiot.

Then there are no points for guessing which less-than-esteemed forum member was seen sucking it in like it was the last cannister of giggle gas on earth.
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Old 11-14-2012, 12:38 AM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wackamole View Post
And I'm wondering, does anyone else find the gutteral screams you see on all the birth videos kind of hilarious in a really nervous kind of way? I have this thing where whenever I get nervous or don't know what to do with myself or uncomfortable I go into hysterical laughing, and I'm thinking this MAY not go over too well in the birthing room. Any ideas?
Don't laugh while she is screaming dude. You'll regret that for years to come. That's almost worse than falling asleep in the lobby during the delivery. Thankfully that's never happened to me but did happen to a buddy. Poor guy has that looming over his head every time new baby conversations come up.

I endured the screaming directly in my ear. I just tried to focus on keeping my wife cool. She was sweating and burning up. A cool wash cloth on her face, though very minuscule to the pain she's enduring helps a tiny bit. I resisted the weird ass request from a nurse to touch my daughters head and hair while the top of her head was still coming out. I said, it's ok I'll play with her hair when she's out but was screaming in my head ARE YOU F###ING CRAZY B*#%^?? THAT'S THE GROSSEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD!! YOU F-IN PSYCO!!!!

Daughters are the best thing in the world. You're blessed man and hope all goes well with it.
Get sleep while you still can and if you don't have one....get a sound machine for baby and USE IT! You'll thank me someday. I'm still thanking my friend who got us one still to this day.
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  #16  
Old 11-14-2012, 01:28 AM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

Congrats Wacka.

Your wife is about to experience the second most painful thing that a human can experience (I hear that kidney stones are the worst) ... it would be best to leave her to decide on the music and amount of hysterical laughter required for the occasion.
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  #17  
Old 11-15-2012, 06:41 AM
Wackamole Wackamole is offline
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

Haha this is awesome, thanks guys :D

Life is good huh? And Praise da LAHWD I have an e kit the baby will never hear :D
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  #18  
Old 11-15-2012, 11:05 AM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

Good luck! For those that want to be a parent, having a child is a wonderful thing! I couldn't imagine my life without my child.

Last edited by dmacc; 11-15-2012 at 11:44 AM.
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  #19  
Old 11-18-2012, 01:32 AM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

working in a hospital I have seen many things and the one that was the scariest was the dad that passed out while mom was delivering, hit his head on the bed, lacerated his eye brow, which was swollen shut. then since he was out limp, hit the floor hard enough to get a concussion and crack his skull. His wife went home with the baby before he did. Good luck.
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Old 11-18-2012, 01:46 AM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

Quote:
Originally Posted by GRUNTERSDAD View Post
working in a hospital I have seen many things and the one that was the scariest was the dad that passed out while mom was delivering, hit his head on the bed, lacerated his eye brow, which was swollen shut. then since he was out limp, hit the floor hard enough to get a concussion and crack his skull. His wife went home with the baby before he did. Good luck.

Was it because the nurse asked him to touch the baby's head before it was all the way out?
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Old 11-18-2012, 02:02 AM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

LOL. No he just couldn't handle the view....
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  #22  
Old 11-18-2012, 02:33 AM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

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LOL. No he just couldn't handle the view....
Which is pretty funny, given his wife's situation at the time could be seen as a tad more challenging than seeing blood and a scarily stretched perineum :D
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Old 11-18-2012, 02:53 AM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

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Which is pretty funny, given his wife's situation at the time could be seen as a tad more challenging than seeing blood and a scarily stretched perineum :D
What has been seen, can never be unseen.
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Old 11-18-2012, 04:14 AM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

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Originally Posted by Pocket-full-of-gold View Post
What has been seen, can never be unseen.
It sounds like you'd rather be the birther than the watcher, Jules :)

It's true that, once you get past our skin covering biology ain't pretty!
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Old 11-18-2012, 05:19 AM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

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What has been seen, can never be unseen.
Talk about sexual abstinence. Watch that all go down. (Or should I say out?)
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  #26  
Old 11-18-2012, 04:04 PM
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Default Re: First baby due next Friday...

Real men change nappies; nothing to it.

Congratulations; this will definitely be a day to remember. It was the best day of my life.

Best wishes

GJS
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